THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

GIFT  OF 

Mary  Randall 


THE 


8  I  8  T  E  E  8: 

A    MEMOIR 

OP 

ELIZABETH     H.,     ABBIE    A., 

AND 

SARAH     P.    DICKERMAN. 


BY    REV.    ISRAEL    P.    WARREN. 


AMERICAN     TRACT     SOCIETY, 

B  0  S  T  ON. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Cpngress,  in  the  year  1859,  by 

THE    AMERICAN    TRACT    SOCIETY, 

In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  District  of  Massa- 
chusetts. 


GIFT 


Geo.  C.  Hand  &  Avery,  Printers,  3  Cornhili,  Boston. 


PREFACE. 


MA]S~T  persons,  especially  among  the  young,  who 
desire  to  be  useful  in  the  service  of  Christ,  fancy 
themselves  debarred  the  privilege  by  want  of  oppor- 
tunity. Had  they  been  called  to  be  ministers  or 
missionaries,  could  they  dispense  thousands  in  char- 
ity, or  had  they  the  advantages  of  high  social 
position,  they  would,  as  they  flatter  themselves, 
accomplish  much  for  the  cause  of  their  Redeemer. 
In  the  absence  of  these  opportunities,  they  feel 
unable  to  do  any  thing,  and  their  endeavors  are  few 
and  worthless. 

The  example  of  the  young  persons  whose  brief 
lives  are  sketched  in  this  memoir  is  deemed  instruc- 
tive, as  showing  the  error  of  this  prevalent  impres- 
sion. They  were  of  the  ordinary  walks  of  life ;  yet 
they  had  learned  the  secret  of  doing  good.  Emi- 
nent in  their  personal  piety,  they  strove  both  by 
example  and  direct  effort  to  effect  the  salvation  of 
others.  If  opportunities  of  usefulness  were  not  pre- 


IV  PREFACE. 

sented,  they  made  them ;  and  they  found — as  others 
will,  who  do  the  same  thing  —  Providence  cooperat- 
ing with  them,  and  rewarding  their  humblest  under- 
takings with  his  blessing. 

The  author  has  felt  embarrassed  in  the  selections 
from  their  journals  and  letters  by  the  frequent  allu- 
sions they  contain  to  himself  and  his  family.  To 
insert  these  seemed,  possibly,  indelicate ;  to  omit 
them,  unjust  to  those  who  penned  them  amid  the 
most  sacred  records  of  their  spiritual  history.  He 
trusts  that  the  few  allusions  of  this  kind  which  he 
has  admitted  will  be  pardoned,  when  it  is  remem- 
bered how  intimate  are  the  relations  between  a 
pastor  and  the  youth  of  his  flock,  —  an  intimacy 
which,  in  the  case  of  these  sisters,  was  one  of  pecu- 
liar interest  and  tenderness. 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  I. 
Residence— Birth— Childhood, 9 

CHAPTER,  H. 

Early  religious  impressions — Conversion  —Admission  to  the  Church,  12 

CHAPTER  HI. 

Attendance  at  school— -Thirst  for  knowledge  —  Abbie's  Journal- 
Letters— Solicitude  for  the  conversion  of  her  schoolmates, 19 

CHAPTER  IV. 

Teaching  —  Commencement  of  school  in  Mt.  Carmel  —  Labors  for 
the  conversion  of  pupils  —  School  exhibition  —  "  The  flower 
fadeth, ' '  —  Missionary  aspirations, 45 

CHAPTER  V. 

Sickness  —  Thirst  for  knowledge — Darkness  —  Parting  from  friends 
—Spiritual  comfort  —  Resignation, ^67 


VI  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTEK  VI. 

Elizabeth's  journal  of  the  last  hours  — The  dying  scene— The 
funeral, 103 


CHAPTER  VII. 

Influence  of  Abbie's  character  and  death— Elizabeth's  resolutions 
—  Visit  to  Plymouth  —  Re-opening  of  school  —  Prayers  and  labors 
for  her  pupils  —  Music  lessons  —  Death  of  her  grandmother, 128 


CHAPTER 

Organization  of  the  Hart  Female  Seminary  —  Elizabeth  as  Prin- 
cipal —  Discouragements  —  Brightening  prospects  —  Household 
cares  —  Labors  for  souls  —  Revival, 153 


CHAPTER  IX. 

Fannie  —  Her  early  character  —  Conversion — Diary  —  Efforts  of 
usefulness, 179 


CHAPTER  X. 
Fannie— Sickness  and  death, , 199 

CHAPTER  XI. 

Improvement  of  affliction  —  Elizabeth's  return  to  her  school — Re- 
newed efforts  of  usefulness— Perplexity  as  to  duty— Determines 
to  relinquish  her  charge — Close  of  term, 212 


CONTENTS.  Vll 

CHAPTER  XH. 

At  home  —  Relaxation  from  labor  —  Domestic  duties — Visiting  — 
Correspondence, 236 


CHAPTER  XHI. 

End  of  the  diary  — Visiting  — Beginning  of  sickness  —  Invitation 
to  Harrisburgh  —  Severe  suffering  —  Medical  attendance  —  Cheer- 
fulness—Submission—Solicitude for  her  mother  —  Unclouded 
hope — Farewells — Death  —  Letters  of  friends, 261 


THE     SISTERS. 


CHAPTER  I. 

Residence  —  Birth  —  Childhood. 

THE  beautiful  plain  upon  which  New  Haven 
is  built  extends  northward  from  Long  Island 
Sound,  between  the  mountain  ranges  of  the 
East  and  West  Rocks,  across  the  whole  breadth 
of  Connecticut.  At  about  eight  miles  from  the 
city,  it  is  interrupted  by  the  high  and  rugged 
cliff  of  Mount  Carmel,  projecting  like  a  spur 
from  the  western  range,  from  which  it  is  sepa- 
rated by  a  deep  notch.  The  view  from  the  sum- 
mit of  this  mountain,  a  place  of  frequent  resort 
to  the  lovers  of  pleasant  scenery,  is  strikingly 
beautiful.  Northward,  the  broad  valley  stretches 
away  in  the  distance  in  a  variegated  landscape 
of  hill  and  dale,  of  venerable  orchards  and  green 
meadows,  with  here  and  there  a  winding  brook 
gleaming  through  the  verdure  like  a  silver  thread 


10  THE     SISTERS. 

woven  in  some  flower-wrought  carpet.  In  the 
south,  the  blue  waters  of  the  Sound  bound  the 
horizon,  embosoming  in  their  crescent  the  city, 
partly  hid  by  East  Rock,  and  the  prairie-like 
"  salt  meadows  "  which  surround  the  head  of  the 
bay ;  while,  at  your  feet,  is  the  little  white  church 
of  the  parish,  and  a  long  street  of  pleasant  resi- 
dences, with  here  and  there  the  tall  chimney  of 
a  manufactory,  and  ever  and  anon  a  railway 
train  gliding  in  graceful  curves  along  the  valley; 
the  whole  constituting  a  picture  of  quiet  beauty 
rarely  surpassed  in  all  the  diversified  scenery  of 
New  England. 

At  a  little  distance  from  the  foot  of  this  moun- 
tain, and  near  the  church  of  the  parish,  named 
from  this  conspicuous  feature  of  it,  "  Mount 
Carmel,"  was  the  home  of  the  subjects  of  this 
memoir.  They  were  children  of  Deacon  EZRA, 
and  SARAH  J.  DICKERMAN,  both  descended  from 
ancient  Puritan  families  in  New  Haven;  the 
mother  tracing  her  ancestry  to  the  Rev.  Nicho- 
las Street,  the  successor  of  Davenport  as  pastor 
of  the  first  church  in  that  city.  The  births  of 
the  three  were  as  follows: 

ELIZABETH  HALL,  born  May  21,  1829. 
ABBIE  ANN,  born  July  22,  1831. 
SARAH  PRANCES,  born  April  18,  1838. 


CHILDHOOD.  11 

They  were  the  only  daughters  in  a  family  of 
nine  children,  of  whom  one  died  in  infancy;  a 
family  who  were  all  trained  with  scrupulous  care 
in  the  principles  and  duties  of  religion,  and  who 
share  in  large  measure  the  blessing  of  God  upon 
parental  faithfulness. 

The  childhood  of  these  sisters  was  marked  by 
little  worthy  of  special  notice.  They  were  active 
and  intelligent,  fond  of  reading,  and  apt  in  the 
usual  studies  of  their  age.  In  disposition,  Eliz- 
abeth was  mild  and  gentle,  inclined  to  cheerful- 
ness, and  of  a  sunny  temperament.  Abbie,  and 
to  a  less  extent  also,  "  Fannie/7  (as  she  was  usu- 
ally called,)  were  more  impatient,  sometimes 
irritable,  and  the  former  suffered  often  from  de- 
pression of  spirits.  Though  remarkably  decided 
and  firm  of  purpose,  yet  there  mingled  with  this 
a  native  modesty  which  shrunk  from  notice,  and, 
in  the  two  eldest,  amounted  almost  to  reserve. 
They  were,  in  a  word,  amiable  and  interesting 
children,  the  pride  of  their  family,  *  and  giving 
promise  of  an  early  development  of  character 
in  more  than  ordinary  sweetness  and  purity. 


12  THE     SISTEES. 


CHAPTER  II. 


Early  religious  impressions  —  Conversion  —  Admission  to  the 
Church. 


IT  might  be  expected  that  persons  educated 
as  these  young  girls  were,  would  have,  even  in 
childhood,  seasons  of  marked  religious  impres- 
sions. Such  was  especially  the  case  with  Abbie. 
Her  mother  mentions  an  occasion  of  this  kind  in 
the  spring  of  1838,  when  she  was  scarcely  seven 
years  old.  As  the  family  were  sitting  by  the 
fireside,  Abbie  began  to  weep.  On  being  ques- 
tioned as  to  the  cause,  she  did  not  incline  to  an- 
swer; but  being  pressed  with  the  inquiry,  at 
length  said  it  was  because  she  felt  herself  to  be 
a  sinner;  and  as  Elizabeth  made  a  similar  avowal, 
while  nothing  unusual  had  occurred  to  awaken 
their  emotion,  their  parents  hoped  it  might  be 
the  work  of  the  Holy  Spirit  in  their  hearts,  and 
earnestly  renewed  their  consecration  of  them  to 
the  favor  of  their  covenant-keeping  God.  Nothing 
was  said  to  them  of  entertaining  a  hope  that  they 
were  Christians,  but  they  were  simply  encour- 


EARLY   IMPRESSIONS   OF   ABBIE.  13 

aged  to  enter  upon  the  performance  of  religious 
duty.  Ever  after  this  they  manifested  much  de- 
light in  spiritual  things,  and  were  very  regular 
in  their  habits  of  devotion.  In  1840,  the  church 
in  Mount  Carmel  enjoyed  a  season  of  revival,  in 
which  they  were  greatly  interested,  attending 
the  meetings,  striving  to  secure  the  presence  of 
their  young  companions,  and  frequently  express- 
ing the  most  ardent  desires  for  the  conversion 
of  souls,  and  for  the  progress  and  extension  of 
the  work.  At  one  of  the  first  of  these  meet- 
ings, when  the  minister  then  laboring  there  spoke 
to  her  in  relation  to  her  feelings,  Abbie  looked 
up  to  him  with  a  timid  smile,  and  said,  UI  do 
love  my  Saviour ! "  nor  did  there  seem  to  be  any 
good  reason  to  doubt  the  truth  of  her  assertion. 
It  was  not,  however,  till  1845,  that  religion 
assumed  a  distinctly  marked  character  in  either. 
In  the  autumn  of  that  year,  Abbie  came  down 
from  her  chamber  very  early  one  Sabbath  morn- 
ing, weeping;  having;  been  awakened  in  a  violent 
thunder  storm,  by  an  alarming  dream  which  the 
storm  had  probably  occasioned.  She  was  very 
much  distressed  in  view  of  her  guilt  and  danger 
as  a  sinner,  and  begged  her  mother's  advice  and 
prayers.  But  though  in  a  measure  relieved  by 
these,  she  did  not  immediately  find  peace.  Her 
convictions  were  deep  and  overwhelming.  In- 


14  THE     SISTERS. 

deed,  it  was  a  characteristic  of  her  experience 
in  all  her  subsequent  course,  to  have  at  times, 
and  often  for  weeks  together,  the  most  profound 
and  distressing  views  of  her  sinfulness ;  and  it 
was  only  when,  by  repeated  trials,  she  had  cast 
herself  wholly  on  Christ  for  pardon  and  deliver- 
ance, that  she  learned  to  throw  off  her  burden, 
and  take  to  herself  the  comfort  of  an  abiding 
hope  in  him. 

It  was  on  the  succeeding  Wednesday,  after 
a  season  of  very  peculiar  suffering,  and  while 
engaged  in  prayer  with  her  mother,  that  she 
first  felt  the  dawn  of  peace  in  her  soul.  It 
was,  indeed,  like  the  morning  light  after  a  night 
of  storm.  The  transition  from  despair  to  hope 
filled  her  with  joy.  "  Oh,"  she  exclaimed,  "  how 
I  want  to  have  Edward  and  Elizabeth  feel  as  I 
do  !  "  On  that  very  day  she  wrote  to  the  former, 
(her  eldest  brother,)  then  at  school  in  a  neigh- 
boring town,  narrating  what  she  had  just  expe- 
rienced, and  tenderly  entreating  him  to  seek 
forthwith  an  interest  in  the  Saviour.  Nor  did 
she  write  in  vain.  The  blessing  of  the  Holy 
Spirit  seemed  to  accompany  the  letter,  and  her 
brother  was  so  deeply  affected  by  the  intelligence, 
and  the  earnest  appeals  to  his  heart,  that  he  was 
unable  to  rest  till  he,  too,  was  rejoicing  in  the 
same  new-born  hopes. 


CONVERSION  OF  ABBIE  AND  HER  BROTHER.   15 

To  her  sister  Elizabeth  she  was  equally  faith- 
ful, though  not  with  the  same  immediate  results. 

"  E.,"  she  wrote  in  a  second  letter  to  her 
brother,  "  spent  the  Sabbath  at  home ;  and  oh!  how 
glad  I  was  to  see  her  and  tell  her  what  a  precious 
Saviour  I  trust  I  have  found."  The  latter  was 
then  engaged  in  teaching  ;  and  having  at  the  age 
of  sixteen  the  sole  care  of  a  school  of  fifty  pu- 
pils, it  is  not  surprising  that  her  mind  was  too 
much  engrossed  with  her  occupation  to  give  to 
anything  else  a  very  particular  attention.  Still, 
the  effect  of  Abbie's  entreaties  was  not  entirely 
lost.  An  impression  was  made  which  was  never 
obliterated ;  and  often  did  she  remark  in  later 
years,  that  both  she  and  her  brother  had  reason 
to  regard  their  sister  as  having  been  in  an  emi- 
nent degree  the  instrument  of  their  conversion. 

In  the  autumn  of  1846,  the  writer  of  this  me- 
moir, having  recently  been  installed  pastor  of  the 
church  in  Mount  Carmel,  called  to  converse  with 
Abbie  in  respect  to  her  uniting  with  the  church. 
Elizabeth  was  then  at  home.  During  the  con- 
versation, Mrs.  D.,  who  was  present,  made  some 
remark  expressive  of  her  anxiety  for  the  latter. 
The  pastor  immediately  addressed  an  appeal  to 
her,  founded  on  the  important  step  about  to  be 
taken  by  her  sister.  Elizabeth  manifested  an 
interest  in  the  subject,  but  said  little.  On  the 


16  THE     SISTEES. 

next  Monday  evening,  a  meeting  was  appointed 
at  the  house  of  the  pastor  for  those  who  might 
desire  religious  conversation  ;  and  at  the  sugges- 
tion of  her  mother,  Elizabeth  attended,  in  com- 
pany with  herself  and  Abbie.  The  subject  of 
her  personal  salvation  was  again  pressed  upon 
her  attention,  and  she  was  urged  to  an  immediate 
self-dedication  to  God.  She  appeared  to  be  very 
serious;  frankly  acknowledging  that  she  desired 
to  be  a  Christian,  and  ought  to  be  one  without 
delay;  and  saying  also  that  she  had  once  enter- 
tained a  hope  of  her  piety,  but  had  for  some  time 
past  relinquished  it.  At  length  she  pledged  her 
word  that  she  would  that  night  give  herself  to 
Christ  anew.  On  her  return  home  she  retired  to 
her  room,  and,  with  characteristic  promptness  and 
decision,  took  her  pen  and  wrote  out  her  solemn 
purpose  to  be  the  Lord's. 

"Resolved,  That  from  this  time  forth,  with  di- 
vine assistance,  I  will  renounce  the  pleasures  of 
the  world,  and  seek  to  glorify  God. 

Oct.  19,  1846.  E.  H.  DICKERMAN." 

She  knelt  with  this  resolution  before  her,  and 
there  solemnly  and  deliberately  adopted  it  as  the 
one  great  purpose  of  her  future  life  ;  giving  up 
herself  to  God,  and  beseeching  pardon  and  ac- 
ceptance through  the  blood  of  the  Redeemer. 


ELIZABETH'S  RESOLVE.  17 

When,  after  some  time,  she  came  from  her  room 
and  entered  the  family  circle,  she  wore  a  smile 
on  her  countenance,  and  a  look  of  such  calm,  yet 
earnest  purpose,  as  left  no  doubt  in  that  happy 
group  that  the  great  decision  had  been  made. 

The  experience  of  the  sisters  in  this  important 
crisis  of  their  lives  was  characteristically  differ- 
ent. Elizabeth  was  not  so  long  weighed  down 
with  the  burden  of  conviction,  as  Abbie;  indeed, 
it  was  the  prompt,  unquestioning  response  of 
her  heart  to  the  intellectual  perception  of  duty, 
which  distinguished  her  here,  as  ever  after. 
Abbie  dwelt  more  in  her  emotions,  and  was  very 
much  subject  to  their  control;  Elizabeth,  though 
not  destitute  of  deep  and  earnest  feelings,  was 
accustomed  rather  to  hold  them  in  check,  and 
subordinate  them,  as  well  as  everything  else,  to 
the  guidance  of  her  understanding.  In  the  for- 
mer, the  subjective  life  was  the  most  prominent; 
in  the  latter,  the  objective.  With  Abbie  it  was 
a  leading  inquiry  how  she  felt,  with  Elizabeth, 
what  she  was  doing;  yet  the  feeling  of  the  one 
had  its  outgrowth  in  a  very  earnest  self-denying 
life ;  and  the  activity  of  the  other,  its  reflection 
in  a  deep  conscientiousness,  and  an  ardent  devo- 
tion to  the  cause  of  her  Saviour. 

It  may  be  thought  that  a  formal  act  of  dedica- 
tion to  God  in  writing,  like  this  of  Elizabeth, 
2 


18  THE     SISTERS. 

unpreceded  by  a  period  of  pungent  conviction, 
was  premature,  and  tended  to  the  creation  of 
false  hopes.  In  some  cases,  perhaps,  it  might  be 
so.  The  precise  -instructions  that  should  be 
given  to  individuals  in  such  circumstances  ought, 
doubtless,  to  be  varied  according  to  the  peculi- 
arities of  each  case.  Yet  we  have  known  not  a 
few  instances  in  which  resolutions  so  formed 
have  been  attended  with  the  happiest  results. 
The  soul  thus  solemnly  given  to  the  Lord,  enters 
the  school  of  Christ ;  where,  under  the  teachings 
of  his  Spirit,  it  gains  instruction  both  in  respect 
to  its  own  depravity,  and  the  necessity  and  suf- 
ficiency of  the  atonement,  which  no  amount  of 
technical  conviction  could  afford.  If  not  itself 
properly  conversion,  it  speedily  eventuates  in  it ; 
as  the  fixed  resolve  of  the  prodigal  was  the  first 
step  in  that  return  which  brought  him,  at  length, 
to  the  home  and  the  embrace  of  his  rejoicing 
father. 

Abbie  was  received  to  the  church,  by  profes- 
sion, on  the  first  Sabbath  of  November,  1846;  and 
Elizabeth,  in  the  January  following. 


ATTENDANCE   AT  SCHOOL.  19 


CHAPTER  III. 

Attendance  at  school  —  Thirst  for  knowledge  —  Abbie's  journal  — 
Letters  —  Solicitude  for  the  conversion  of  her  schoolmates. 

A  LEADING  characteristic  of  these  sisters  was 
a  thirst  for  knowledge.  For  the  objects  most 
usually  attractive  to  girls  of  a  similar  age — dress, 
company  and  amusements — they  had  very  little 
taste.  Especially  after  their  conversion,  they 
sought  with  increased  ardor  the  advantages  of 
an  education,  as  a  qualification  for  usefulness. 
In  the  fall  of  1847,  Elizabeth  entered  as  a  pupil 
in  the  "  Seward  Institute,"  in  Florida,  Orange 
County,  New  York,  w^here  she  graduated  the 
ensuing  year,  receiving  the  first  premium  for 
scholarship  in  the  senior  department,  from  the 
Hon.  William  H.  Seward,  the  President  and  pa- 
tron of  the  institution.  After  her  graduation, 
Abbie  entered  the  same  school  and  remained 
through  the  ensuing  winter.  And  though  unable 
to  return  and  complete  the  course,  as  she  ardent- 
ly desired,  she  still  prosecuted  her  studies  at 
home,  and  while  herself  engaged  in  teaching, 


20  THE     SISTERS. 

with  great  assiduity,  till  her  failing  health  com- 
pelled her  to  desist. 

Of  Elizabeth's  religious  history  during  these 
two  years  of  study ,  there  is  but  slight  record. 
.  She  was  too  intensely  occupied  to  write  very 
frequently  to  her  friends,  and  her  allusions  to  the 
subject  in  her  correspondence  were  still  less  fre- 
quent. The  acquisition  of  knowledge  was  then 
her  all-engrossing  pursuit ;  and  it  is  probable  that 
the  standard  of  her  piety  was  less  elevated  than 
it  subsequently  became. 

Of  Abbie,  fortunately,  we  have  more  knowl- 
edge. Early  in  1848,  she  commenced  a  private 
journal  of  her  religious  experience,  which  she 
continued  with  slight  interruptions  till  a  short 
time  before  her  death.  In  this,  and  the  letters 
written  to  her  friends,  we  have  ample  materials 
for  tracing  her  religious  life,  and  observing  how 
rapidly  she  was  trained,  under  the  teachings  of 
the  Divine  Spirit,  to  that  maturity  of  piety  which 
made  her  early  ripe  for  heaven. 

There  is,  in  many  minds,  a  strong  prejudice 
against  these,  so  called,  private  journals  of  re- 
ligious experience;  a  prejudice  which  is  often, 
doubtless,  well  founded.  The  difficulty  of  keep- 
ing them  true  to  fact,  of  making  them  an  honest, 
unexaggerated  transcript  of  the  real  life,  is  so 
great,  under  the  natural  tendencies  to  self-decep- 


ABBIE'S  JOURNAL.  21 

tion;  that  little  reliance,  ordinarily,  can  be  placed 
on  them  as  exhibiting  the  actual  character.  Yet, 
notwithstanding  all  this,  it  can  not  be  questioned 
that  such  a  journal  may  be  so  conducted  as  em- 
inently to  aid  the  work  of  self-cultivation.  It 
very  evidently  was  so  in  the  present  case.  That 
Abbie  had  kept  such  a  record  of  her  spiritual 
life,  was  never  suspected  by  her  most  intimate 
friends  till  a  little  before  her  death.  It  had  been 
her  purpose  to  destroy  it ;  but  upon  the  earnest 
request  of  the  family,  and  being  assured  it  would 
be  a  great  gratification  to  them  after  her  depart- 
ure, she  reluctantly  consented  to  its  preservation. 
None  who  intimately  knew  her  will  doubt  that 
it  is  a  simple,  unvarnished  record  of  her  actual 
feelings  and  experience. 

The  first  entry  made  in  it  is  marked  by  great 
simplicity,  conscientiousness  and  solemnity. 

"HAMDEN,  Sunday,  March  14, 1848. 
I  have  felt  that  it  may,  perhaps,  aid  my  ad- 
vancement in  the  spiritual  course,  to  keep  a 
journal,  or  diary.  With  this  in  view  I  now  com- 
mence one,  feeling  as  I  do,  that  I  ought  not  to 
neglect  anything  which  may  have  a  tendency  to 
promote  my  growth  in  grace,  and  fit  me  for  that 
eternal  world  to  which  I  am  rapidly  hastening." 


22  THE     SISTERS. 

Other  extracts  will  show  her  prevalent  habit 
of  thought  and  feeling  at  this  time. 

Monday  Evening,  March  15.  Last  night  I  re- 
tired burdened  on  account  of  sin,  especially  my 
ingratitude  and  coldness  in  the  service  of  my 
dear  Redeemer.  I  passed  a  very  restless  night ; 
for  my  mind  was  constantly  occupied  with 
thoughts  of  my  situation,  and  of  those  around 
me,  and  of  how  little  I  am  doing  in  the  service 
of  Christ.  This  morning  I  had  a  season  of  sweet 
communion  with  God;  but  I  have  to  lament  that 
I  have  been  very  cold  in  religious  duties  during 
the  day,  and  it  has  been  with  difficulty  that  I 
could  devote  my  thoughts  to  heavenly  things. 
This  evening  I  have  attended  a  female  prayer- 
meeting,  and  felt  that  it  was  good  to  be  there. 
I  mourn  over  my  coldness,  and  it  grieves  me  that 
I  can  not  love  God  more  ;  but  this  heart  of  mine 
is  so  sinful  that  it  will  love  only  as  it  is  renewed 
by  grace. 

16th.  This  morning  I  had  unusual  enjoyment 
in  my  religious  duties,  and  I  thought  I  should 
go  through  the  day  trusting  in  God,  and  striving 
to  glorify  him ;  but  alas,  I  have  not  honored  him, 
either  by  my  w&lk  or  conversation,  but  when  lit- 
tle things  occurred  I  have  been  irritated  and 
vexed.  I  felt  that  this  was  wrong,  and  it  must 


DESIRE   TO   BE   USEFUL.  23 

be  that  I  have  not  looked  to  God  for  assistance, 
for  if  I  had,  he  would  have  provided  for  me  a 
way  of  escape.  This  evening  attended  singing 
school,  and  while  there,  felt  emotions  of  pride. 
Oh  when  shall  I  be  meek  and  lowly  in  heart  1 

Sunday  evening,  21st.  I  have  to-day  attended 
church,  and  heard  a  sermon  preached  from  Dan- 
iel xii.  3.  "  They  that  be  wise  shall  shine  as  the 
brightness  of  the  firmament;  and  they  that  turn 
many  to  righteousness,  as  the  stars  for  ever  and 
ever."  While  hearing  of  the  glory  that  awaits 
him  who  saves  a  soul  from  death,  it  seemed  as  if 
the  Sun  of  righteousness  shone  in  upon  my  heart, 
and  I  felt  new  aspirations  after  holiness.  I  re- 
solved to  devote  myself  to  the  work  of  doing 
good,  more  than  I  have  done.  If  it  should  be 
the  will  of  God  that  I  should  leave  my  beloved 
parents,  my  brothers  and  sisters,  and  all  that  is 
dear  to  me  in  this  world,  and  go  to  some  foreign 
country  that  I  might  lead  souls  to  Christ,  I  feel 
that  I  ought  cheerfully  to  obey.  Life  is  short, 
and  what  is  done  must  be  done  quickly.  If  I 
know  my  own  heart,  I  do  want  to  labor  in  the 
vineyard  of  my  Lord.  I  feel  that  it  is  folly  to 
spend  my  time  in  pursuit  of  the  honors,  wealth, 
or  pleasures  of  this  world.  There  is  no  true 
happiness  in  them ;  it  is  found  only  in  Christ. 
How  delightful  the  thought,  that,  if  faithful  in 


24  THE     SISTERS. 

duty,  we  may,  with  God's  blessing,  be  instru- 
mental in  adding  some  to  that j  innumerable  com- 
pany who  shall  surround  the  throne  of  God  and 
sing  praises  to  him  for  ever. 

This  is  the  first  intimation  left  on  record  of 
what  became  a  very  strongly  marked  desire  of 
Abbie,  that  she  might  ultimately  be  permitted 
to  serve  her  Saviour  as  a  missionary  to  the 
heathen.  Frequent  allusion  is  made  to  it  in  her 
journal,  and  in  her  letters  to  one  or  two  of  her 
most  confidential  friends.  It  was  this  which 
seemed  chiefly  to  actuate  her  in  her  efforts  at 
mental  cultivation ;  nor  was  the  hope  of  attain- 
ing this  privilege  relinquished  until  almost  the 
last  moment  of  her  life. 

March  28th.  My  health  has  been  such,  for  a 
few  days  past,  as  to  oblige  me  to  remain  below 
by  the  fire,  in  consequence  of  which  I  have  been 
deprived  of  the  opportunity  of  spending  much 
time  alone  in  my  room.  I  now  gladly  hasten  to 
have  a  little  season  of  communion  with  God  and 
my  own  heart.  I  have  been  thinking  of  the  mil- 
lions who  have  never  heard  of  a  crucified 
Saviour,  and  feel  that  I  ought  to  be  willing  to 
give  up  all  to  send  them  that  which  will  make 
them  wise  unto  salvation. 

30th.     I  fear  that  I   am  growing  cold,  and 


RENEWED     CONSECRATION.  25 

going  back  from  duty  and  from  God;  for  I  do  not 
have  those  earnest  desires  for  the  salvation  of 
souls  and  the  prosperity  of  Christ's  kingdom 
which  I  had  some  time  since ;  neither  do  I  feel 
so  much  of  the  love  of  Christ  in  my  own  soul  as 
I  have  been  wont  to  experience.  I  find  myself 
inclined  to  give  way  to  passion,  and  have  sadly 
indulged  in  fretfulness  towards  F.,  —  also  in 
trifling  conversation.  I  know  and  feel  that  it  is 
wrong  to  live  so.  Shall  I  ever  have  grace  to 
overcome  ? 

31st.  I  have  attended  a  conference  of  the 
churches  held  here  this  afternoon,  and  feel  that 
it  has  been  a  blessed  season  to  my  soul.  There 
were  present  brethren  from  the  neighboring 
churches,  and  their  hearts  appeared  to  be  full  of 
the  love  of  Christ.  When  I  understood  their 
feelings  in  behalf  of  sinners,  and  heard  what 
God  is  doing  in  other  places,  and  what  efforts 
his  children  are  making  to  promote  his  glory,  it 
seemed  as  if  I  had  done  nothing  but  to  injure 
his  cause.  I  resolved,  when  at  church,  to  con- 
secrate myself  to  him  anew.  And  I  do  now,  on 
my  knees,  before  God  and  angels,  give  myself  wholly 
to  him ;  and  am  resolved,  by  the  assistance  of  my 
heavenly  Father,  to  labor  and  pray  more  earnestly 
for  the  salvation  of  souls  than  I  have  ever  yet  done. 

April  1.     This  morning  I  felt  that  God  was 


26  THE     SISTERS. 

with  me.  I  have  not  spoken  to  any  impenitent 
person  to-day,  but  I  am  determined  to  have  a 

talk  with before  he  leaves  home.  I  have 

been  putting  it  off  because  it  seemed  that  I 
could  not  do  it,  but  I  feel  that  it  is  my  duty, 
and  so  am  resolved  to  improve  the  earliest 
opportunity  I  have. 

Evening.  When came  up  to  his  room, 

I  went  in,  and  found  him  reading  his  Testament. 
I  told  him  for  what  purpose  I  had  come,  and 
asked  him  to  state  his  feelings  to  me,  that  I 
might  know  how  to  pray  for  him.  He  replied 
that  he  was  indulging  a  hope,  but  did  not  seem 
inclined  to  say  more.  I  said  a  few  words  and 
left  him,  for  I  felt  that  I  could  do  no  more.  Per- 
haps I  did  wrong.  I  can  only  pray. 

13th.  I  have  heard  to-day  of  the  death  of  the 
young  lady  who  roomed  with  me  in  Meriden. 
She  was  on  Friday,  to  all  appearance,  as  well  as 
any  one,  and  on  Sunday  she  was  laid  in  the  cold 
and  silent  grave.  While  I  was  with  her  I 
wanted  to  speak  to  her  of  the  concerns  of  her 
soul ;  but  I  shrunk  from  the  duty,  and  if  she  has 
gone  into  eternity  unprepared  I  fear  her  blood 
will  rest  upon  me.  I  hope  I  shall  be  admon- 
ished by  this,  to  live  every  day  as  if  it  were  my 
last,  and  neglect  no  opportunity  to  speak  to  my 


LETTER    TO    AN    IMPENITENT    FEIEND.  27 

fellow  travelers  upon  that  subject  which  con- 
cerns us  all. 

14th.  Nothing  but  the  grace  of  God  can  be 
sufficient  for  me,  and  without  this  I  am  lost  for 
ever.  Oh,  what  a  thought,  —  lost  forever ! 

16th.  Sabbath.  Since  the  services  of  the 
day  I  have  given  myself  to  retirement,  reading 
and  prayer,  and  I  find  that  such  are  refreshing 
seasons  to  my  soul.  It  is  my  prayer  that  I  may 
so  love  the  cause  of  Christ  and  the  salvation  of 
souls  as  to  be  willing  to  forsake  all  for  him,  and 
be  as  faithful  in  his  service  as  it  is  possible  for 
me  to  be. 

17th.  To-day  I  have  been  very  busily  engaged 
in  my  worldly  duties,  so  that  I  have  had  but  lit- 
tle time  for  retirement  and  meditation.  I  have 
however  succeeded  in  finishing  the  letter  which 
I  commenced  last  evening,  addressed  to  one  of 
my  impenitent  friends.  I  feel  very  anxious  for 
her  spiritual  welfare,  and  have  long  been  think- 
ing of  writing  to  her. 

The  following  are  extracts  from  this  letter: 

MY  DEAR  FRIEND: — It  has  often  been  in  my 
heart  to  write  to  you,  and  as  often  been  delayed, 
but  I  am  resolved  to  neglect  my  pen  no  longer. 
In  no  way  can  I  spend  the  evening  of  this  day 
more  pleasantly  than  in  conversing  with  one  with 


28  THE     SISTERS. 

whom  I  have  passed  so  many  hours — hours  now 
gone  forever. 

Allow  me  to  express  to  you  the  deep  interest 
I  feel  in  your  spiritual  and  eternal  welfare.  How 
has  my  heart  reproved  me  for  neglecting  to 
speak  to  you  of  the  love  of  the  Saviour  when 
we  were  together.  I  have  had  bitter  reflections 
that  so  much  of  my  time  was  spent  in  trifling 
conversation,  when  I  knew  not  but  our  next 
meeting  would  be  before  the  bar  of  God.  I  hope 
I  have  sought  the  forgiveness  of  God,  and  will 
not  you  forgive  me?  I  take  it  for  granted  that 
at  some  future  time  you  intend  to  prepare  for 
death.  But  it  is  presumption  to  delay,  for  the 
present  is  the  only  time  that  we  can  call  our  own. 
"  Now  is  the  accepted  time,  now  is  the  day  of 
salvation."  Oh  that  I  could  find  words  to  express 
my  earnest  desire  that  you  should  now,  in  youth, 
be  brought  into  the  fold  of  our  blessed  Saviour! 

My  dear  friend,  I  ask  you  to  give  this  subject 
your  calm  and  faithful  consideration.  Allow 
yourself  no  rest  until  you  have  made  your  peace 
with  God.  If  you  feel  any  desires  for  holiness, 
any  conviction  of  sin,  you  may  be  sure  that  it  is 
the  Holy  Spirit  striving  with  you;  and  I  beg  of 
you  not  to  grieve  him  away,  for  he  may  never  be 
sent  again.  Satan  will,  doubtless,  suggest  many 
things  to  hinder  you  from  attending  to  this  all- 


LETTER    TO    AN    IMPENITENT    FRIEND.  29 

important  subject  at  once,  but  do  not  listen  to 
him,  though  he  may  point  to  the  scenes  of  gaiety 
and  mirth,  for  there  is  none  of  that  true  enjoy- 
ment in  these  which  is  to  be  found  in  the  service 
of  God.  Perhaps  you  think  religion  would  make 
you  gloomy,  but  I  assure  you  from  my  own  ex- 
perience, (if  that  is  worth  anything,)  of  the  con- 
trary. Nothing  is  so  well  able  to  make  us  happy 
as  the  religion  of  Christ.  This  alone  can  support 
us  in  life  and  in  death. 

If  I  could  say  anything  to  induce  you  to 
become  a  Christian,  I  would  gladly  say  it. 

Do  write  very  soon,  and  tell  me  what  are  your 
feelings; — write  freely,  for  you  know  I  am  your 
friend. 

Most  sincerely  and  affectionately  yours, 

ABBIE. 

30th.  This  morning  I  awoke  with  my  mind 
taken  up  with  worldly  things,  and  I  felt  a  deep 
sense  of  gratitude  to  him  who  made  and  pre- 
serves us,  and  who  cares  for  all  our  wants.  We 
lay  down  and  slept  in  peace,  we  awoke  this 
morning  refreshed,  to  praise  God.  We  have 
been  permitted  to  attend  upon  the  preached 
word.  May  it  make  a  salutary  impression  on  my 
heart,  and  may  I  from  this  time  strive  to  live 
nearer  to  God.  I  have,  to-night,  commenced 


30  THE     SISTERS. 

reading  the  Bible  by  course,  attended  with  med- 
itation ;  and  with  God's  help  I  design  to  read  and 
study  a  portion  daily,  upon  which  my  thoughts 
may  rest  during  the  day. 

May  15.  I  was  very  impatient  this  morning; 
the  cause,  I  suspect,  was  the  numerous  cares 
which  pressed  upon  me ;  but  I  know  I  ought  not 
to  indulge  myself  in  such  feelings.  My  dear 
sister  has  again  left  us,  (to  return  to  school,)  and 
I  have  to  mourn  that,  while  I  have  conversed 
with  her  on  almost  every  other  subject,  I  have 
neglected  to  speak  of  the  love  of  the  Saviour, 
and  the  state  of  my  own  heart.  I  know  not  how 
much  good  it  might  have  done  us  to  communi- 
cate our  feelings,  our  joys  and  sorrows.  How 
could  I  neglect  it,  when  of  all  subjects  this  is 
the  most  important? 

The  allusion  to  her  "worldly  cares"  is  very 
frequent  in  Abbie's  journal  during  the  summer,* 
and  they  were  uncommonly  numerous  and  press- 
ing. It  had  been  intended  that  she  should  ac- 
company Elizabeth,  this  spring,  on  her  return  to 
school,  at  Florida;  but  the  condition  of  the  fam- 
ily at  home  made  it  necessary  to  retain  there  one 
of  the  two.  In  April,  her  mother  had  been  at- 
tacked with  inflammatory  rheumatism,  and  was 
for  many  months  wholly  laid  aside  from  her  ordi- 


HOUSEHOLD    CARES.  31 

nary  duties.  It  was,  therefore,  at  Abbie's  earnest 
request,  that  she  was  permitted  to  remain,  both 
to  attend  upon  her  mother,  and  have  the  super- 
intendence of  the  household.  It  needs  only  to  be 
remembered  that  there  were  then  five  children, 
besides  herself,  at  home,  the  youngest  son  but 
two  years  old;  and  that  the  ordinary  work  of 
such  a  family,  beside  the  management  of  a  dairy 
and  the  duties  of  nurse  in  her  mother's  sick 
room,  all  devolved  upon  her,  assisted  only  by  one 
servant,  to  appreciate  the  amount  of  her  cares, 
or  cease  to  wonder  that  she  felt  them  an  incum- 
brance  to  her  religious  course.  Yet  these  duties 
were  most  cheerfully  and  faithfully  done ;  and  it 
is  the  testimony  of  all  the  family,  that  for  its  or- 
der, thoroughness,  and  success,  the  business  of  the 
household  never  went  on  better  than  during  the 
administration  of  this  slender  girl  of  seventeen. 
At  the  same  time,  her  journal  shows  that  she 
maintained  unbroken  her  habits  of  private  devo- 
tion, the  daily  hour  of  retirement,  of  reading  and 
prayer;  evincing  that,  though  so  young,  she  had 
learned  that  rare  lesson  of  subordinating  the 
most  pressing  worldly  care  to  the  cultivation  of 
her  heart,  and  an  intimate  walk  with  God.  The 
remembrance  of  these  circumstances  will  im- 
part additional  interest  to  the  extracts  from  her 
journal  at  this  period. 


32  THE     SISTERS. 

May  25th.  I  am  getting  into  the  habit  of  rising 
later  than  usual,  and  I  find  that  it  makes  every- 
thing go  wrong  through  the  day.  First,  I  can  not 
have  that  time  for  communing  with  God  which  I 
need,  in  order  to  grow  in  grace;  and  then  it 
makes  everything  press  upon  me  through  the 
day,  so  that  it  keeps  me  in  a  continual  hurry. 
But  I  intend  this  shall  be  so  no  longer.  I  have 
read  some,  and  thought  much,  of  a  missionary 
life  to-day,  and  if  it  is  the  will  of  God  I  hope  to 
spend  and  be  spent  in  his  service;  and  it  is  my 
earnest  desire  that  in  my  efforts  to  do  good  I 
may  be  actuated  only  by  pure  and  holy  motives, 
to  glorify  my  Redeemer  in  all  that  I  do. 

Aug.  20.  Arose  this  morning  before  any  other 
members  of  the  family,  and  had  a  good  season 
for  meditation  and  prayer.  I  endeavored  to  cast 
all  my  burdens  upon  the  Lord,  and  to  begin  the 
day  with  him.  I  was  troubled  with  worldly 
thoughts,  but  hope  it  was  not  in  vain  that  I 
enjoyed  the  privilege  of  meeting  with  the 
people  of  God.  I  trust  that  some  of  the  truths 
that  were  spoken  have  sunk  deep  into  my  heart, 
to  be  pondered  the  coming  week.  To-night  have 
had  a  good  season  of  meditation. 

Sept.  1.  Attended  this  afternoon  the  lecture 
preparatory  to  the  Lord's  Supper.  The  text  was 
Isaiah  xi.  11.  "He  shall  feed  his  flock  like  a 


SPIRITUAL   JOY.  33 

shepherd,  he  shall  gather  the  lambs  in  his  arms 
and  carry  them  in  his  bosom,  and  shall  gently 
lead  those  that  are  with  young."  I  found  it  I 
trust  a  very  profitable  season  to  me.  I  needed 
to  consider  Christ  more  as  a  shepherd,  who  is 
ever  watching  over  his  sheep  with  the  greatest 
tenderness.  Since  I  came  home,  I  have  had  a 
very  precious  season.  I  sat  down,  and  for  more 
than  an  hour,  I  tried  to  apply  my  mind  to  the 
study  of  the  Scriptures,  and  found  the  exercise 
very  profitable.  Have  had  unusual  delight  in 
prayer,  for  Christ  seemed  near  to  me,  and  I  hope 
I  have  given  myself  anew  to  him. 

Sept.  16. 
To  ELIZABETH: 

Sabbath  evening,  dear  sister,  finds  me  again 
seated  to  write  you.  I  hardly  know  what  to  say, 
for  my  heart  is  full.  I  hope  this  Sabbath  is  one 
in  which  you  have  been  led  "  in  green  pastures 
and  beside  still  waters."  How  sweet  the  thought 
that  we  have  the  same  throne  of  grace  to  which 
we  may  go  and  make  known  all  our  wants ;  that 
we  have  the  same  Father  in  Heaven,  and,  as  we 
hope,  are  treading  the  same  path  to  that  world 
where  we  shall  part  no  more.  Oh,  my  dearest 
sister,  if  we  are  so  happy  as  to  reach  the  New 
Jerusalem,  shall  we  not  feel  that  we  are  a  hun- 
dred times  repaid  for  all  the  exertions  we  have 


34  THE     SISTERS. 

here  made  in  the  service  of  Christ !  Then  let 
us  be  diligent,  ever  striving  to  do  the  will  of 
our  Father. 

I  hope  I  can  go  to  Florida,  this  fall ;  but  as  I 
have  been  disappointed  once,  I  do  not  feel  sure 
of  it. 

I  am,  as  ever,  your  affectionate 

ABBIE. 

24th.  I  commenced  this  day  in  a  cold  and 
lifeless  frame.  Attended  church  and  heard  a 
sermon  from  these  words,  "  Enter  ye  in  at  the 
strait  gate,"  &c.  Came  home  fearing  that  I  had 
no  part  nor  lot  with  the  children  of  God ;  and  on 
examining  my  heart,  I  find  there  nothing  but  sin. 
Yet  I  do  hope  that  I  have  had,  at  least,  some 
feeble  desires  awakened  for  a  revival  in  my  own 
heart,  and  in  the  whole  community.  May  it  be 
my  constant  inquiry :  "  Lord,  what  wilt  thou 
have  me  to  do  ? "  I  have  resolved  to  make 

C ,  S ,  and  J ,  objects  of  special 

prayer.  I  hope  I  can  say,  from  the  depths  of 
my  soul,  —  Jesus,  I  give  my  all  to  thee. 

Sabbath,  Oct.  1.  I  trust  that  I  have  found  this 
a  good  season  to  my  soul.  I  feel  that  Christ 
has  been  near  to  me.  If  I  know  my  own  heart, 
I  do  desire  to  have  more  enlarged  views  of  him 
and  of  heaven ;  to  drink  more  freely  of  the  wells 


RESOLUTIONS.  35 

of  salvation,  and  to  take  up  my  cross  daily  and 
follow  Christ. 

I  think  it  might  be  beneficial  for  me  to  adopt 
some  plan,  or  resolutions  which  shall  be  borne 
in  mind,  to  incite  me  to  greater  diligence  in  the 
service  of  God.  I  feel  that  this  is  a  solemn  act, 
and  that  there  may  be  much  depending  upon  it. 
I  do  not  desire  to  advance  one  step  without  the 
guidance  of  my  Father  in  Heaven.  I  do,  then, 
humbly  ask  for  the  guidance  and  direction  of  his 
Spirit  at  this  time,  and  may  he  guide  me  in  all 
that  I  now  write. 

Resolved,  1.  In  all  that  I  do,  to  seek  God's 
glory. 

2.  To  devote  myself  with  renewed  diligence 
to  his  service,  and  to  allow  no  opportunity  of 
doing  good  to  pass  unimproved. 

3.  To  keep  the  great  end  of  life  ever  in  view, 
and  to  be  daily  preparing  for  my  great  and  last 
change. 

4.  To  put  self  entirely  down,   and  to  exalt 
God  alone  upon  the  throne  of  my  heart. 

5.  To  strive  to  recommend  religion  to  others 
by  my  meek  and  quiet  deportment ;  ever  mani- 
festing to  them  that,  above   all  things  else,  I 
desire  their  spiritual  welfare. 

6.  Whenever  about   to  pursue  any  doubtful 
course  of  action    to  inquire  whether  it  is  the 


36  THE     SISTERS. 

will  of  God.  If  so,  I  must  go  straight  on  in  the 
performance  of  it ;  if  not,  I  must  calmly  and 
decidedly  refuse. 

7.  I  must  make  God's  word  my  daily  study 
and  rule  of  life. 

8.  Always  to  give  one-tenth  part  of  all  I  have 
for  the  cause  of  missions. 

Oct.  4.  This  morning  I  said  some  things  which 
were  very  improper  for  one  who  professes  to 
serve  Christ ;  but  I  hope  I  have  found  forgive- 
ness with  God.  I  have  been  down  to  Mr.  W.'s, 
and  how  I  did  long  to  converse  with  dear  Mrs. 
W.  upon  religious  themes ;  but  we  had  no  oppor- 
tunity. Always  when  I  talk  with  her  on  this 
subject,  I  feel  new  life,  as  it  were,  and  new 
encouragement  to  go  on  my  way. 

15th.  I  trust  it  has  not  been  in  vain  that 
I  have  spent  this  Sabbath  upon  earth.  This 
morning,  had  much  enjoyment  in  the  house  of 
God.  Christians  were  invited  to  come  with  con- 
fidence, and  embrace  God  as  a  father,  —  to  look 
up  to  him  in  filial  love,  calling  him  "  Abba, 
Father."  I  have  not  looked  upon  God  as  my 
Father,  though  I  have  known  that  he  is  the 
father  of  all  true  Christians.  I  have  a  hope 
indeed,  but  it  has  not  been  that  hope  which 
sheds  constant  peace  in  the  soul ;  for  I  am  con- 
tinually fearful  lest  I  shall  be  deceived.  It  is 


PREPARATION  FOR  SCHOOL.  37 

my  earnest  prayer  that  I  may  be  delivered  from 
these  gloomy  doubts  and  harassing  fears.  I 
have  to-day  had  many  sweets  thoughts  of  God 
and  heaven ;  and,  on  the  whole,  I  do  believe  that 
my  views  of  Christ  are  becoming  more  enlarged, 
and  that  I  see  more  of  the  beauty  of  the  way  of 
salvation  by  him. 

Though  her  intention  to  go  to  Florida  with 
Elizabeth  had  been  deferred,  at  her  own  request, 
that  she  might  assist  the  family  at  home  during 
her  mother's  illness,  yet  the  sacrifice  was  a 
great  disappointment,  and  cost  her  a  severe 
effort.  Her  desires,  however,  were  now  about 
to  be  gratified.  Her  sister  came  home  in  Octo- 
ber, and  it  was  decided  that  Abbie  should  imme- 
diately return  in  her  place.  We  find  her  in  her 
closet  on  the  evening  preceding  her  departure, 
thoughtfully  anticipating  the  trials  which  might 
await  her,  and,  by  prayer  and  earnest  resolve, 
gathering  strength  to  meet  them. 

Nov.  5.  If  nothing  occurs  to  prevent,  I  expect 
to  leave  home  to-morrow,  to  attend  school.  I 
shall  probably  be  surrounded  by  those  who  cast 
off  fear  and  restrain  prayer,  and  it  will  be  my 
duty  to  take  a  decided  stand,  and  go  straight 
forward  in  my  course.  By  God's  grace,  and 
with  divine  assistance,  I  am  resolved  to  do 


38  THE     SISTERS. 

A good;   and  I  hope  that  I  shall  be  enabled 

to    improve    every    opportunity    of  usefulness 
which  may  present  itself. 

The  person  here  referred  to  is  the  young  lady 
to  whom  Abbie  wrote  so  tenderly,  under  date 
of  April  17,  who  now  accompanied  her  to  the 
same  school,  and  was  her  room-mate  there. 
How  well  this  resolution  "  to  do  her  good  "  was 
carried  out,  will  presently  appear. 

To  MRS.  W. : 

I  want  to  tell  you  what  a  delightful  time  we 
had  going  up  the  Hudson.  Perhaps  you  remem- 
ber what  a  lovely  morning  it  was.  It  was  rather 
cold,  but,  notwithstanding  this,  I  went  upon 
deck,  and  gazed  upon  the  beautiful  scenery 
through  which  we  were  passing.  What  do  you 
imagine  were  my  thoughts  as  I  sat  looking  over 
the  boat  into  the  water?  I  thought  how  glad  I 
should  be,  if  only  prepared  for  it,  if  I  were  on 
board  some  ship  which  should  bear  me  to  a 
heathen  land,  where  I  might  point  dying  souls 
to  the  Lamb  of  God.  I  don't  know  but  I  do 
wrong  in  speaking  of  such  things,  but  I  always 
say  to  you  just  as  I  feel. 

I  find  it  no  easier  to  be  a  Christian  here  than 
at  home.  I  have  no  closet  to  which  I  can  go  at 
stated  times,  but  am  always  liable  to  be  inter- 


EFFORTS    FOR   SCHOOL-MATES.  39 

rupted.  I  feel  that  I  lose  much  on  this  account, 
for,  though  prayer  is  simply  the  desire  of  the 
heart,  and  will  be  acceptable  if  only  breathed  in 
thought,  yet  I  find  it  extremely  difficult  to  main- 
tain thus  that  frame  of  mind  which  I  desire. 

My  room-mate  has  had  many  serious  impres- 
sions since  she  came  here.  She  sometimes 
thinks  she  will  yield  her  heart  to  God,  but  still 
clings  to  the  world.  Will  you  not  pray  for  her  ; 
also  for  me,  that  I  may  discharge  my  duty  to  her 
faithfully? 

Your  sincere  friend, 

ABBIE. 

Sunday,  Dec.  3.  My  first  thoughts  this  morn- 
ing were  about  Christ  and  heaven.  I  lay  in 
bed  for  some  time,  watching  the  clear  sky,  and 
thinking  of  holy  things.  In  the  morning,  at- 
tended bible  class,  and  then  church.  To-night 
Mr.  M.  has  urged  sinners,  with  great  earnest- 
ness, to  come  to  Jesus.  Since  we  came  home, 
H.  has  been  up  to  my  room,  and  asked  me  to 
talk  with  her  about  good  things,  and  to  pray 
with  her.  I  have  endeavored  to  point  her  to 
the  Lamb  of  God.  Have  also  being  trying  to 

urge  A to   give  her  heart  to  the  Saviour 

to-night.  Oh !  it  seems  strange  to  me  how  she 
can  longer  wait.  My  heart  yearns  towards  her, 


40  THE   SISTERS. 

and  I  hope,  in  Christ's  strength,  to  be  faithful 
to  her. 

To  S.  B.,  (a  former  pupil.) 

.  .  .  .  But,  before  I  close,  I  must  say  one 
word  more.  Let  me  ask  you  to  give  your  heart 
to  the  Saviour,  and  love  him,  that  you  may  be 
for  ever  happy.  He  delights  to  have  little  chil- 
dren come  to  him;  will  you  not  give  him  all 
your  affection  ?  I  have  no  time  to  write  more, 
so  good-bye. 

Your  sincere  friend, 

ABBIE. 

Dec.  31.  I  have  been  taking  a  review  of  my 
life  the  past  year,  and,  alas  !  I  can  not  think  of 
one  soul  whom  I  have  been  instrumental  in 
bringing  to  Christ.  I  feel  that  I  have  made  lit- 
tle progress  in  holiness  myself,  yet  I  do  believe 
that  I  have  some  new  views  of  God  and  Christ ; 
and  that  it  is  my  purpose  to  serve  him  more 
faithfully  in  the  future.  Christ  strengthening 
me,  I  am  resolved  to  labor  more  for  souls  who 
are  without  an  interest  in  him.  I  hope  that  I 
shall  be  enabled  not  to  let  one  day  pass  without 
putting  forth  some  effort  to  do  good.  I  am  con- 
scious that  such  a  resolution  will  be  attended 
with  much  self-denial,  but  I  ought  to  take  up 


CONVERSION   OF   A .  41 

my  cross,  and  bear  it  patiently,  for  the  sake  of 
him  who  has  endured  so  much  for  me.  Directly 
after  dinner,  on  Sabbath  afternoon,  I  design  to 
pray  for  my  impenitent  friends  at  home.  It  is 
my  earnest  desire  to  live  nearer  to  God  than  I 
have  ever  done.  I  know  I  shall  fail  without  his 
assistance,  but  he  has  promised  to  give  the 
Holy  Spirit  to  all  who  ask  him,  so  that  there  is 
nothing  but  my  own  sinful  heart  to  separate 
between  me  and  my  God. 

To  MRS.  W. : 

Feb.  10,  1849. 

I   must   tell   you   one    piece  of  good   news. 

A ,  my    room-mate,    thinks    that    she    has 

given  her  heart  to  God,  and  is  now  happy  in 
his  love.  I  hope  that  my  feeble  prayers  have 
been  answered  in  her  behalf,  and  would  give 
God  all  the  praise.  I  trust  it  will  be  an  encour- 
agement to  me  to  continue  to  pray  for  others  of 
my  friends,  who  are  still  out  of  the  ark  of  safety. 

We  have  no  church  here  Sabbath  afternoon. 
I  have,  therefore,  chosen  this  time  to  remember, 
before  God,  my  friends  at  home,  especially  my 
impenitent  associates.  I  sometimes  feel  almost 
discouraged,  but  when  I  think  of  the  promises 
of  God,  I  feel  that  in  him  is  my  strength.  Still, 
I  suffer  from  that  same  depression  which,  you 


42  THE     SISTERS. 

know,  I  have  always  had  more  or  less  of.  My 
greatest  trouble  is  wandering  thoughts.  I 
never  had  so  much  annoyance  from  this  source 
as  since  I  left  home  ;  and  it  causes  me  no  little 
anxiety ;  for  it  appears  to  me  that,  if  my  treasures 
were  in  heaven,  my  thoughts  would  be  there 
also.  However,  I  feel  that  my  views  of  Christ 
are  clearer,  and  I  hope  I  find  him  more  precious 
than  I  used  to. 

Do  write  to  me  soon,  for  it  is  almost  the 
greatest  luxury  I  have  to  get  a  letter  from  a 
dear  friend. 

Yours,  affectionately, 

ABBIE. 

The  pleasing  intelligence  above  mentioned 
proved  to  be  not  only  "  good  news,"  but  true. 
The  following  letter  from  the  person  referred 
to,  written  after  Abbie's  death,  not  only  con- 
firms this  particular  statement,  but  gives  ample 
testimony  to  the  zeal  and  fidelity  with  which 
this  young  disciple  of  Christ  performed  whatso- 
ever her  hand  found  to  do. 

Letter  from  A to  Mrs.  Dickerman  :  — 

April  1st,  1857. 
DEAR  MRS.  D. :  —  Your  letter  was  received 


LETTER   FROM   A .  43 

last  evening.  With  much  pleasure  I  answer, — . 
giving  such  information  as  I  can  of  her  who  was 
one  of  my  dearest  friends.  I  have  often  thought 
of  the  hours  we  passed  together,  especially  the 
winter  when  we  were  at  Florida.  Abbie  was 
truly  a  devoted  Christian,  ever  trying  to  do 
good.  I  remember  one  circumstance  particu- 
larly. There  was  quite  an  interest  felt  on  the 
subject  of  religion  among  some  of  the  members 
of  the  Bible  class.  One  of  the  younger  girls, 
who  was  deeply  concerned  for  her  spiritual  wel- 
fare, came  to  our  room,  and  Abbie  besought  her 
to  forsake  her  sins,  and  flee  to  Christ.  She 
talked  with  her  long  and  earnestly,  and  several 
times  engaged  in  prayer  with  her,  but  it  was 
hard  for  her  to  renounce  her  sins. 

Often  did  we  converse  together  on  the  sub- 
ject of  religion,  and  many  times  did  she  pray 
with  me.  I  think  that  not  a  day  passed  but 
morning  and  evening  found  her  by  herself,  in 
some  quiet  corner,  reading  her  Bible,  and  hold- 
ing sweet  communion  with  God.  It  was  while 
with  her  that  I  resolved  to  be  a  Christian.  I 
had  been  deeply  interested  in  the  subject  for  a 
year  or  two,  and  she  was  aware  of  it,  and  wrote 
me  a  letter,  but  I  could  not,  and  did  not,  at  that 
time,  come  out  decided,  though  I  felt  differently 
ever  after. 


44  THE     SISTERS. 

Often  did  she  express  her  determination  to 
become  a  missionary,  should  her  life  be  spared. 
I  would  say,  "Abbie,  why  do  you  study  so  hard, 
when  I  know  you  are  not  able  ?  "  Her  reply 
was  ever  the  same :  "  To  acquire  knowledge  suf- 
ficient to  teach  the  heathen."  This  seemed  to 
be  all  her  aim. 

Could  I  see  you,  I  could  tell  you  many  things 
which  would  be  interesting,  respecting  that 
winter,  which  I  have  no  time  to  write.  I  hope 
you  will  go  on  with  your  design.  It  would  be 
a  precious  memorial  to  me. 

Affectionately,  your  friend, 

A.  G.  H . 


TEACHING.  4j 


CHAPTER   IV. 

Teaching — Commencement  of  school  in  Mt.  Carmel  —  Labors  for 
the  conversion  of  pupils  —  School  exhibition  — "  The  flower 
fadeth  "  —  Missionary  aspirations. 

IN  the  spring  of  1849  the  two  sisters  engaged 
in  teaching.  Elizabeth,  at  the  request  of  several 
families  in  Mt.  Carmel,  opened  a  small  select 
school  for  girls,  in  a  private  house  near  her 
father's  residence.  So  great  was  the  interest 
awakened  in  this  school  during  the  summer,  and 
such  the  talent  for  instruction  developed  by  her, 
that  it  was  resolved  by  her  patrons  to  erect  for 
her  a  suitable  edifice,  and  establish  a  school  of 
a  superior  grade  for  the  education  of  their  chil- 
dren. The  enterprise  was  undertaken  in  the 
fall,  and  the  building  so  far  completed  as  to  be 
occupied  late  in  the  winter. 

Abbie,  having  returned  from  Florida  in  April, 
was  employed  to  take  charge  of  one  of  the  com- 
mon schools  in  N.  B .  The  position  was 

a  difficult  one,  —  the  pupils  having  been  under 
little  previous  restraint,  and  herself  with  but  a 


46  THE     SISTERS. 

very  limited  experience  in  duties  of  this  sort. 
An  amusing  letter  to  her  mother  will  show  some 
of  the  trials  she  encountered  here ;  and  disclose, 
also,  certain  features  of  her  own  character, 
which,  from  her  ordinary  gentleness  and  re- 
serve, might  be  little  suspected  by  persons  not 
intimately  acquainted  with  her. 

July  31,  1849. 

.  .  .  .  I  have  had  difficulty  in  the  school 
but  once  since  I  returned.  Would  you  like  to 
know  what  it  was  ? 

Three  of  the  boys  ran  away  from  school  one 
morning,  and  staid  all  the  forenoon.  I  had  told 
them  that  if  they  did  I  should  punish  them  ;  so, 
in  the  afternoon,  I  was  obliged  to  fulfill  my 
promise.  One  of  them  said  he  would  hollo  to 
some  large  boys  that  were  near  the  school  house 
if  I  did,  and  would  call  his  father,  <fec.  I  applied 
the  rod,  and  he  did  "  hollo/7  but  I  continued  til] 
he  ceased.  I  then  took  the  second,  and  finally 
the  third ;  and,  just  then,  looked  up,  and  saw 
four  or  five  people  standing  at  the  window. 
One  fat  woman  held  up  her  hands,  and  cried, 
"You  had  better  not  kill  the  children."  Another 
thought  I  ought  to  use  "  a  little  reason  "  in  pun- 
ishing. I  quietly  informed  them  that  the  school 
was  mine,  and  that  I  intended  to  govern  it  my- 


TEACHING    IN    N.    B .  47 

self.  I  heard  afterwards  that  the  father  of  one 
of  the  boys  expressed  much  satisfaction  at  what 
I  had  done,  and  said  that,  if  the  offense  was  re- 
peated, he  hoped  I  would  continue  the  flogging 
until  it  would  be  likely  to  last.  But  enough  on 
this  subject. 

You  will  want  to  know  about  my  Latin.  I 
have  learned  about  thirty  pages  since  I  came. 
I  study  every  morning,  and  have  read  and 
parsed  a  little.  I  parse  every  word  that  I  read. 

ABBIE. 

The  entries  in  her  journal  during  this  summer 
are  few. 

Aug.  14.  No  one  knows  how  much  I  feel  the 
need  of  a  place  where  I  can  retire,  and  alone 
hold  converse  with  God.  In  my  present  situa- 
tion, I  have  scarcely  a  moment  in  my  room  to 
myself.  In  my  school  room  I  can  commune 
with  my  Saviour  and  Friend,  and  this  I  am  re- 
solved to  do ;  there  to  take  hold  of  his  promises, 
and  not  let  him  go  without  his  blessing.  How 
much  grace  do  I  need  to  enable  me  to  do  my 
duty  faithfully !  How  responsible  is  my  situa- 
tion as  an  instructor  of  the  young  !  and  how 
many  opportunities  have  I  neglected  of  impress- 
ing their  minds  with  divine  truth ! 

Sept.  2.    It  seems  to  me  that  I  have  never 


48  THE     SISTERS. 

lived  so  far  from  God,  and  in  such  neglect  of 
Christian  duty,  as  I  have  done  this  summer.  I 
am  filled  with  shame  and  confusion  when  I  think 
of  it.  I  am  covered  with  sin  as  a  garment.  Oh 
that  it  might  be  exchanged  for  the  garments  of 
righteousness  ! 

At  the  expiration  of  her  engagement  in  N. 

B she  returned  home,  and  joined  Elizabeth 

as  an  assistant  in  her  school.  At  this  period 
she  made  a  solemn  review  of  the  past,  and  gave 
herself  anew  to  the  service  of  Christ. 

Nov.  3.  During  the  past  summer  I  have  been 
engrossed  with  the  cares  of  the  world,  and  have 
suffered  my  interest  in  spiritual  things  to  de- 
cline. But  God  has  been  pleased  to  lead  me  to 
consider  my  ways,  and  examine  my  hopes  for 
eternity.  For  a  long  time  I  have  had  little 
enjoyment  in  religion ;  and,  of  late,  have  been 
in  distress  of  mind,  lest  I  have  never  known  the 
love  of  God.  To-morrow  will  be  our  communion 
season ;  and,  as  I  have  thought  of  it,  I  have 
almost  resolved  to  absent  myself  from  it,  fearing 
that  I  shall  bring  dishonor  upon  my  Saviour  ;  — 
but  this  ought  not  so  to  be.  I  have  just  received 
a  little  note  from  dear  Mrs.  W.,  full  of  the  prom- 
ises of  God's  word,  assuring  me  that  his  ear  is 
ever  open  to  the  cry  of  those  who  trust  in  him. 


COMMUNION   WITH   GOD.  49 

I  feel  that  God  has  enabled  me  to  come  to  him 
with  such  trust.  If  it  please  him  to  hide  from 
me  the  smiles  of  his  countenance,  I  hope  still  to 
be  enabled  to  say,  "  Not  my  will  but  thine  be 
done." 

Nov.  4.  How  sweet  this  Sabbath  has  been. 
I  had  this  morning  a  season  of  precious  com- 
munion with  God.  Let  me  call  upon  my  soul, 
and  all  that  is  within  me,  to  praise  him  for  his 
infinite  mercy  in  allowing  me  once  more  to 
enjoy  the  smiles  of  his  countenance.  His  divine 
compassion  —  oh  how  great !  It  seems  to  me  I 
never  experienced  a  more  blessed  Sabbath  than 
this.  I  have  derived  much  comfort  from  the 
passage  :  "  Cast  thy  burden  upon  the  Lord,  and 
he  shall  sustain  thee  ;  he  shall  never  suffer  the 
righteous  to  be  moved."  I  trust  he  has  allowed 
me  to  come  and  take  shelter  under  his  wing.  I 
tremble  when  I  think  of  the  temptations  to 
which  I  shall  be  exposed,  but  his  grace  shall  be 
my  all-sufficient  stay ;  —  in  him  will  I  trust.  0 
God,  put  underneath  me  thine  everlasting  arm 
Hold  thou  me  up,  and  I  shall  be  safe. 

The  new  school  edifice  was  so  far  completed 

as  to  permit  of  being  occupied  in  February.     It 

is  a  neat  building,  two  stories  high,  with  cupola 

and  bell,  standing  on  an  eminence  half  a  mile 

4 


50  THE     SISTERS. 

south  of  the  church  in  Mt.  Carmel.  It  was 
dedicated  with  appropriate  public  exercises, 
and  the  school  immediately  after  removed 
thither.  About  forty  pupils  were  at  this  time 
in  attendance,  of  whom  a  few  had  come  as 
boarders  in  the  family. 

To  A : 

Feb.  24,  1850. 

MY  VERY  DEAR  FRIEND  :  —  I  presume  you  will 
begin  to  think  I  have  forgotten  my  promise  of 
writing,  but  my  time  has  been  very  much  occu- 
pied through  the  vacation,  which  continued  till 
last  Monday,  when  sister  re-opened  her  school. 
The  Seminary  and  Hall  will  be  dedicated  to- 
morrow evening.  Sister  has  three  music  schol- 
ars, and  expects  more  this  week ;  so  you  may 
infer  that  we  have  piano-jingling  enough  out  of 
school  hours. 

Does  it  seem  possible  that  the  winter  is  so 
nearly  gone  ?  It  almost  frightens  me  to  think 
of  it,  especially  when  I  see  how  little  I  have 
accomplished ;  how  few  efforts  I  have  made 
for  those  around  me,  and  how  I  have  neglected 
to  take  up  my  cross  and  follow  Christ.  And 
now  its  account  will  soon  be  sealed  up  for  the 
judgment.  Oh,  what  a  thought  I  .  .  . 

My  dear  friend,  shall  we  be  content  to  just 


LETTER   TO   A .  51 

gain  entrance  to  heaven?  Or  shall  we  not 
rather  seek  high  attainments  in  holiness  ?  In 
view  of  the  privileges  of  the  children  of  God, 
how  earnest,  how  persevering  ought  we  to  be, 
that  we  may  not  only  make  such  attainments 
ourselves,  but,  through  Christ,  persuade  others, 
also,  to  go  with  us  in  our  heavenly  course. 

One  week  more,  and  we  hope  to  be  permitted 
to  sit  down  again  at  the  table  of  our  dying,  but 

now  risen  and  ascended  Lord.    Oh,  A ,  how 

I  wish  you  would  unite  with  us  in  this  interest- 
ing duty !  Do  you  not  feel  it  to  be  a  duty,  if 
you  are  a  child  of  God,  to  acknowledge  him 
before  men?  Christ  has  said,  —  "Do  this  in 
remembrance  of  me  ;  "  and,  if  it  is  a  duty  of  one, 
why  not  of  all  who  have  tasted  that  he  is 
gracious  ?  Do  you  feel  ashamed  to  show  your 
attachment  to  him  in  this  ordinance  ?  He  has 
said,  "  Whosoever  shall  be  ashamed  of  me  and 
my  words,  of  him  will  the  Son  of  man  be 
ashamed,  when  he  shall  come  in  the  glory  of  his 
Father."  You  doubtless  feel  this  to  be  a 
solemn  step.  It  is  so.  I  would  not  advise  you 
to  enter  upon  it  without  prayerful  consideration, 
thorough  self-examination,  and  a  constant  de- 
pendence on  God  for  guidance  and  aid.  It  is 
now  more  than  a  year  since  you  found  peace  in 
Christ ;  and  if  you  still  love  him,  and  have  access 


52  THE     SISTERS. 

to  his  throne  of  grace ;  if  you  find  a  loathing  of 
sin,  a  desire  after  holiness,  and  a  willingness  to 
do  God's  will,  why  should  you  not  show  your 
attachment  to  him  by  uniting  with  the  visible 
church  ?  If  you  do  this,  make  an  entire  conse- 
cration of  soul  and  body  to  him,  for  time  and 
eternity ;  and  may  the  grace  which  maketh  rich 
and  addeth  no  sorrow,  abide  in  your  heart. 

Your  friend  ABBIE. 

March  21.  I  have  not  yet  said  anything  to 
the  school  girls  about  their  souls.  As  I  see 
them  day  after  day  living  in  sin,  I  feel  that  I 
must  do  something  for  them ;  but,  oh,  this  diffi- 
dence !  I  feel  guilty,  for  conscience  tells  me 
that  my  duty  is  not  done.  Lord,  assist  me  by 
thy  Spirit ! 

April  1.  I  awoke  this  morning  with  a  sense 
of  the  great  responsibility  which  rests  upon  me, 

and  I  was  fully  determined  to  speak  with  0 

to-day  about  her  soul.  I  deferred  it  to  the  close 
of  school,  but  she  then  seemed  in  such  haste 
that  I  feared  she  would  be  unwilling  to  remain. 
Assist  me,  0  God,  to  discharge  every  duty.  I 
need  more  longing  desires  for  the  salvation  of 
souls,  more  earnestness  and  fervor  in  prayer, 
more  watchfulness  over  self,  more  love  for 
Christ,  my  Saviour. 


EFFORTS   FOB    PUPILS.  53 

20.  I  think  I  never  felt  a  stronger  desire  for 
the  salvation  of  souls  than  I  did  about  two 
weeks  since.  I  felt  guilty  every  day  that  I 
neglected  to  warn  the  impenitent,  and  entreat 
them  to  come  to  Christ.  By  God's  grace  I  was 

enabled  to  speak  with  0 .  At  first  I  knew 

not  what  to  say,  but  I  received  strength  from 
above;  and  when  we  parted,  she  thanked  me, 
and  said  she  would  go  home  and  try  to  give 
herself  to  Christ.  Two  or  three  days  after,  she 
told  me  that  she  hoped  she  had  done  so.  My 
prayer  is  that  the  smiles  of  God  may  light  her 
pathway,  and  that  she  may  at  last  meet  him  in 
the  skies.  I  feel  that  this  is  of  God,  and  to  him 
be  all  the  glory. 

During  the  past  week  we  have  followed  uncle 
A —  -  to  the  grave.  May  it  be  a  warning  to  us 
to  be  ready,  for  we  know  not  the  hour  when  the 

Son  of  man  shall  come.  Surely  C must  be 

affected  by  it.  It  seems  to  me  that  I  would 
willingly  die,  if  it  could  only  be  the  means  of 
saving  her  soul.  0  God,  sanctify  her  father's 
death  to  her  everlasting  good. 

May  1.  I  have  been  down  to  see  M.  to-night, 
and  converse  with  her  about  her  soul.  She 
seemed  much  affected,  and  promised  me  that 
she  would  attend  to  the  subject  at  once.  I  feel 
that  I  must  plead  as  I  have  never  done  before, 


54  THE     SISTERS. 

for  an  immortal  soul  is  at  stake,  which  is  of  more 
value  than  the  whole  universe  beside.  0  my 
God,  I  can  not  let  thee  go  until  thou  grant  this 
blessing.  Help  her  to  cast  herself  at  thy  feet, 
a  poor  worm  of  the  dust,  resolved  that,  if  she 
must  perish,  it  shall  be  at  the  foot  of  the  cross. 
I  can  not  rest  until  her  peace  is  made  with  thee. 

5.  This  Sabbath  has  been  to  me  a  day  of  good 
things.  I  have  been  employed  in  contemplating 
the  infinite  condescension  of  Christ  in  taking  to 
himself  a  human  nature,  coming  to  this  world, 
and  suffering  the  persecutions  of  wicked  men, 
being  tempted  in  all  points  like  as  we  are,  yet 
without  sin.  I  can  but  wonder,  and  adore  the 
wisdom  and  goodness  of  God,  in  thus  providing 
for  our  souls.  He  is  adequate  to  supply  all  our 
wants  and  desires.  I  know  that  my  sins  are 
many,  and  of  an  aggravated  character ;  they 
have  risen  over  my  head  like  great  mountains ; 
but  the  mercy  of  God,  through  Jesus  Christ,  is 
infinitely  higher. 

The  time  has  arrived  for  the  reorganization 
of  our  Sabbath  school,  and  I  am  looking  forward 
to  this  as  a  delightful  field  of  employment.  If 
I  am  permitted  to  have  charge  of  a  class,  it  is, 
and  shall  be,  my  prayer  that  their  souls  may  be 
saved.  I  hope  to  visit  some  families  this  week, 
who  are  in  the  habit  of  absenting  themselves 


EFFORTS   FOR    PUPILS.  55 

from  the  house  of  God,  and  invite  them  to  send 
their  children  to  the  Sabbath  school 

To-day  I  have  been  permitted,  with  God's  peo- 
ple, to  commemorate  the  dying  love  of  Christ, 
and  I  feel  it  to  be  a  great  privilege  to  partake  of 
this  precious  ordinance.  May  it  be  the  means  of 
strengthening  my  Christian  graces,  and  of  unit- 
ing me  to  Christ,  "  as  the  branch  is  united  to 
the  vine.77  I  think  I  can  say  from  the  heart, 
"  Jesus,  I  give  my  all  to  thee,"  to  be  thine  for 
time  and  eternity. 

June  16.  Have  again  met  my  Sabbath  school 
class  ;  and,  oh !  have  I  been  faithful  to  them  ? 
How  it  would  rejoice  my  heart  if  my  humble 
efforts  might  be  blessed  to  the  salvation  of  one 
soul ! 

19.  To-day  I  have  spoken  to  Miss  S. about 

her  soul,  and  urged  her  to  immediate  repent- 
ance.    She  seemed  deeply  affected,  and  prom- 
ised that  she  would  try  and  give  herself  to-day 
to   her    long-slighted    Saviour.      It    is    several 
weeks  since  her  attention  was  first  called  to  this 
subject.    She  feels  that  God  has  done  everything 
for  her ;  and  nothing  but  her  own  sinful  heart 
keeps  her  from  yielding  herself  to  him.     She 
thinks  she  is  willing  to  do  this,  but  does  not  yet 
see  Jesus  as  her  Saviour. 

20.  The  first  thought  that  fills  my  mind  this 


56  THE     SISTERS. 

morning   is,  What  are   Miss   S ?s   hopes  for 

eternity?  Has  the  decision  been  made?  I  will 
go  and  lay  her  case  before  the  Lord,  for  with 
him  all  things  are  possible. 

Evening.  Have  seen  Miss  S to-day.     She 

says  she  has  tried  to  make  her  peace  with  God, 
and  is  determined  that,  if  she  perishes,  it  shall 
be  in  pleading  for  mercy.  She  does  not  know 
whether  her  sins  are  forgiven,  but  I  can  not  but 
believe  she  will  yet  find  peace.  I  can  and  will 
plead  with  God  in  her  behalf,  feeling  assured 
that  he  will  not  send  mo  empty  away.  0  God, 
how  can  I  let  thee  go  till  thou  grant  this  desire 
of  my  heart !  I  will  leave  all  in  thy  hands,  cer- 
tain that  thou  wilt  do  whatsoever  thou  seest  to 
be  best. 

To  MRS.  B.: 

June  25,  1850. 

MY  DEAR  MRS.  B. :  —  I  trust  you  will  pardon 
my  seeming  neglect,  when  I  assure  you  it  has 
not  been  intentional.  I  have  thought  much  of 
you,  and  often  longed  to  see  you.  The  kindness 
shown  me  while  with  you  greatly  endeared  you 
to  my  heart.  I  look  back  upon  the  summer 
when  I  was  with  you  as  the  happiest  I  ever 
spent ;  and  I  know  of  no  place  it  would  afford 
me  so  much  pleasure  to  visit  as  W.  My  mind 


LETTER   TO   MRS.    B.  57 

often  reverts  to  the  pleasant  hours  I  enjoyed 
when  engaged  in  the  instruction  of  those  dear 
children.  Oh  that  I  could  embrace  them  in  my 
arms,  and  entreat  them  to  consecrate  the  best 
part  of  their  lives  to  the  service  of  God  !  Have 
any  of  them  found  the  Saviour  precious,  or  are 
they  all  living  in  sin,  regardless  of  the  welfare 
of  their  never-dying  souls  ?  I  say  living,  — •  but 
perhaps  some  of  them,  ere  this,  have  slept  the 
sleep  of  death  ;  for  we  know  not  the  changes 
which  three  short  years  will  make  in  a  little 
circle  of  friends. 

I  am  now  engaged  in  teaching,  in  connection 
with  my  sister.  The  people  of  Hamden  have 
erected  a  seminary  about  half  a  mile  below  our 
house,  of  which  she  takes  charge.  The  primary 
department  is  under  my  care,  besides  which  I 
have  several  studies,  and  recite  Latin  also  to 
Mr.  Warren. 

Give  my  love  to  all  the  dear  children  whom  I 
formerly  called  my  pupils,  and  beg  them  from 
me  to  love  the  Saviour,  that  we  may  all  meet, 
an  unbroken  band,  around  the  throne  of  God. 

ABBIE. 

30th.  To-day  I  endeavored  to  bring  my  dear 
Sabbath  School  class,  and  present  them  to  my 
Father,  feeling  assured  that  he  will  not  send  us 


58  THE     SISTERS. 

away  empty.  I  can  not  endure  the  thought 
that  one  of  them  should  finally  perish.  Lord, 
help  me  to  be  more  faithful.  Last  week  I  saw 
Miss  S — ?  and  can  but  hope  she  has  passed  from 
death  to  life,  though  she  is  afraid  to  entertain  a 
hope  for  herself.  The  feelings  she  has,  it  seems 
to  me,  must  have  been  planted  by  a  heavenly 
hand ;  and,  though  she  is  at  times  filled  with 
doubts  and  fears,  I  trust  that  the  Lord  will  at 
length  grant  her  peace  and  joy  in  believing. 

July  22.  This  is  my  nineteenth  birth-day. 
Can  it  be  that  I  have  lived  nineteen  years  in 
the  world,  and  accomplished  so  little?  I  can 
think  of  very  few  souls  whom  I  have  been,  in 
any  mariner,  instrumental  in  bringing  to  Christ. 
But  I  have  abundant  reason  to  praise  and  mag- 
nify God's  unspeakable  love  and  mercy  in  per- 
mitting me  to  do  good  to  one  soul.  Who  can 
realize  the  worth  of  the  soul,  which  shall  live  on 
and  on,  when  millions  and  millions  of  years  have 
passed  away  ?  Oh !  I  will  not  be  discouraged  if  I 
have  been  enabled  to  help  one  towards  heaven. 
I  feel  that  I  have  not  lived  wholly  in  vain,  but 
for  this  God  shall  have  all  the  glory.  May  I  be 
encouraged  to  be  more  faithful  in  the  perform- 
ance of  every  Christian  duty,  and  to  pray  more 
earnestly  for  the  salvation  of  those  who  are  per- 
ishing in  sin. 


SCHOOL  EXHIBITION.  59 

During  the  last  year  I  have  lived  too  far  away 
from  God ;  and,  unless  he  grant  me  his  Spirit,  I 
shall  again  wander  from  him,  for  nothing  short 
of  his  grace  can  preserve  me  from  yielding  to 
temptation  and  sin ;  but  this  is  all-sufficient. 
0  God,  grant  it  for  thy  Son's  sake.  And  may 
the  coming  year,  should  my  life  be  spared,  be 
filled  up  with  usefulness. 

The  summer  term  of  the  seminary  closed 
July  25,  and  was  attended  with  an  "  exhibition" 
and  picnic  festival  in  an  adjacent  grove.  It  was 
a  joyous  time  with  the  little  school.  The  chil- 
dren, dressed  in  white  and  wreathed  in  flowers, 
passed  in  procession  from  the  school-room,  and 
the  soft  air  of  a  fine  summer  day  resounded 
with  their  merry  voices  and  laughter.  Alas ! 
how  little  was  it  imagined  that  a  cloud  was 
already  gathering  over  that  happy  group,  and 
that  one  of  the  happiest  of  all  would  soon  be 
numbered  among  them  no  more. 

On  that  very  day  an  epidemic  dysentery 
broke  out  in  the  village,  which  continued 
through  the  season,  and  shrouded  many  a  house- 
hold in  mourning.  Its  first  victims  were  found 
in  the  house  of  the  pastor.  A  little  niece  visit- 
ing there  was  smitten  down,  a  lovely  child  of 
seven  years,  and,  shortly  after,  the  pastor's  only 


60  THE     SISTERS. 

daughter,  aged  five  years  and  nine  months. 
Though  so  young,  she  had  attended  the  school 
during  the  preceding  year,  and  was  deeply 
attached  to  her  teachers,  by  whom  also  she  was 
equally  loved.  The  subjoined  notice  of  these 
events,  from  the  pen  of  a  ministerial  friend  who 
had  been  present  at  the  close  of  school,  shortly 
after  appeared  in  the  Independent  newspaper. 

"  THE  FLOWER  FADETH." 

During  my  recent  journeyings  I  found  myself  in  that 
delightful  valley  which  opens  between  the  two  rocky  bluffs 
like  standing  sentinels,  north-east  and  west  of  the  "  City  of 
Elms,"  and  which  stretches  away  northward  in  the  blue  dis- 
tance some  eight  miles  to  Mount  Carmel.  Having  known  this 
valley  in  other  days,  I  was  not  a  little  interested  to  observe 
what  changes  the  exertions  of  industry  and  skill  had  created, 
to  heighten  its  natural  beauties.  Among  other  marks  of  im- 
provement, a  new  and  beautiful  structure,  on  a  green  emi- 
nence, indicated  the  present  population  to  be  descendants  of 
the  Pilgrims,  who  laid  of  old  the  foundations  of  New  Eng- 
land's pride  and  glory,  in  the  village  school-house  by  the  side 
of  the  church  edifice.  It  is  the  seat  of  one  of  those  numerous 
seminaries  of  learning  which  your  columns  so  usefully  com- 
mend to  the  public.  The  summer  term,  under  the  direction 
of  its  excellent  preceptress,  was  about  to  close  in  a  public 
examination,  which  I  had  the  pleasure  of  attending.  The 
school-room,  which  is  ample  in  size,  having  the  necessary 
fixtures,  was  tastefully  decorated  for  the  occasion  with  vases 
of  flowers,  the  walls  were  hung  with  numerous  specimens  of 
drawing,  and  the  exercises  of  the  pupils  in  the  several 
departments,  including  French  and  algebra,  music  on  the 


"  THE   FLOWER   FADETH."  61 

piano,  and  compositions,  were  highly  creditable,  proving  the 
course  of  instruction  and  training  in  this  seminary  to  pos- 
sess rare  merit  for  thoroughness,  variety,  and  correctness.  I 
was  delighted  to  find,  in  this  rural  vale  of  Carmel,  a  scene 
so  full  of  bright  promise  for  that  growing  community.  And 
I  will  add,  that  had  I  daughters  whom  I  wished  to  place  at 
any  retired  school  in  the  country,  I  know  of  none  of  whose 
advantages  I  would  sooner  avail  myself. 

At  this  examination  I  observed  among  the  younger  pupils 
one  sprightly  child  of  about  six  years  of  age,  whom  they 
called  "  little  Jennie."  I  watched  her,  and  I  thought  she 
must  be  the  joy  of  her  parents,  and  the  favorite  of  the 
school.  I  found  she  was  the  only  daughter  of  the  clergy- 
man of  the  parish,  and  that  she  was  indeed  a  lovely  flower, 
in  this  early  promise  of  unfolding  sweetness. 

Three  weeks  after,  I  had  occasion  again  to  pass  that  way, 
and,  alas,  I  found  "  little  Jennie,"  how  changed !  Rapid 
disease  had  done  its  work  upon  her  beautiful,  but  frail  form. 
Her  prattling  voice  was  hushed  —  her  bright  eyes,  now 
deeply  sunken,  were  closed  in  death.  She  was  shrouded  in 
white,  with  a  modest  flower  withering  on  her  cold  bosom, 
while  parents  and  teachers  and  school-mates  were  weeping 
around.  The  bud  was  suddenly  crushed ;  how  many  fond 
hearts  were  crushed  with  it !  And  yet  what  strong  conso- 
lation they  have  in  Jesus,  who  loves  little  children,  and  bids 
them  come  to  him;  and  who  will  make  all  these  flowers 
which  have  been  similarly  crushed  in  the  bud,  to  bloom 
again  in  the  paradise  of  his  presence  and  glory. 

"The  flower  fadeth"  So  fade  the  fondest  hopes,  the 
brightest  promise  for  this  world ;  "  but  the  word  of  God 
abideth  for  ever." 

The  death  of  this  child  was  a  very  painful 
blow  to  Abbie.  Her  intercourse  with  the  pas- 


62  i         THE     SISTERS. 

tor's  family  had  been  so  intimate  and  affection- 
ate, that  she  seemed  almost  like  one  of  them; 
and  her  entrance  was  always  greeted  by  the 
children  as  that  of  a  sister.  Often  does  she 
recur  to  it  in  her  journal,  in  a  manner  to  show 
how  deeply  the  affliction  had  touched  her  heart. 

August  25.  Last  Monday  we  followed  the 
remains  of  dear  little  Jennie  to  the  grave,  and 
saw  her  beautiful  form  consigned  to  the  narrow 
tomb.  Can  it  be  that  we  shall  no  more  behold 
that  sweet  child  ?  I  never  knew  the  affection  I 
had  for  her  until  she  was  taken  from  us.  She 
is  in  my  thoughts  when  I  awake  in  the  morning, 
through  the  day,  and  when  I  retire  at  night. 
Yet,  while  I  mourn  our  loss  I  would  not  recall 
her  to  earth,  for  I  trust  she  is  now  in  heaven. 
I  daily  wonder  what  are  her  employments  in 
that  new  home  above.  When  we  read  of  the 
state  of  the  redeemed  there  we  can  not  wish 
them  back,  to  encounter  the  trials  of  those  who 
sojourn  here.  Rather  let  us  bless  God  for  his 
goodness,  and  consecrate  our  all  to  him  for  ever 
more,  knowing  that  "  he  doeth  all  things  well." 

So  numerous  was  now  the  family  at  home, 
including  several  boarding  pupils  of  the  school, 
that  it  was  difficult,  even  there,  to  command  the 


MISSIONARY   ASPIRATIONS.  63 

needful  privacy  for  her  hours  of  devotion.  The 
following  entry  will  be  sufficiently  explained  by 
this  fact ;  while  it  illustrates  the  fidelity  with 
which  she  adhered  to  her  closet  duties,  and  how 
truly  prayer  was  her  "  vital  breath/7 

To-night  have  had  a  season  of  sweet  commu- 
nion with  God,  in  the  garret,  and  am  thankful  for 
even  this  place  of  retirement.  Often  have  I 
there  found  my  Saviour  precious  to  my  soul. 

Frequent  allusion  has  been  made  to  Abbie's 
strong  desire  to  engage  in  the  missionary  work. 
While,  however,  she  waited  the  developments 
of  Providence  to  open  to  her  the  way  for  so 
doing,  she  did  not  make  it  a  mere  sentiment,  to 
be  indulged  at  the  expense  of  present  useful- 
ness. It  has  been  seen  how  earnestly  she 
sought  the  conversion  of  her  friends  and  pupils, 
and  how  constant  were  her  prayers  and  her 
efforts  to  secure  this  result.  It  is  extremely 
interesting  to  observe,  in  the  ardor  of  her  mis- 
sionary aspirations,  the  entire  submission  which 
she  cultivated,  to  the  divine  will;  and  with 
what  blended  meekness  and  good  sense  she,  at 
the  same  time,  addressed  herself  to  whatever 
work  she  found  at  hand.  Thus  she  writes : 


64  THE     SISTERS. 

This  afternoon  I  have  been  reading  from  the 
memoir  of  Mrs.  H.  Winslow,  how  she  loved  the 
souls  of  the  perishing  around  her,  especially  of 
the  poor  heathen.  Often  do  I  almost  wish  that 
I  were  a  man,  that  I  might  go  to  them.  But 
this  I  know  is  wrong.  If  God  designs  me  for 
that  work,  he  will  open  a  door  for  me.  May  my 
great  aim  be  to  fill  well  the  duties  of  the  station 
in  which  I  am  placed ;  for,  if  I  am  unfaithful 
here,  how  can  I  expect  to  be  admitted  to  sta- 
tions of  greater  trust  ? 

Sept.  22.  This  afternoon  our  pastor  pre- 
sented the  claims  of  missions;  and  when  I  think 
of  the  wants  of  the  world,  and  how  little  is 
being  done  for  its  subjection  to  Christ,  I  want 
to  lay  my  all  upon  his  altar.  I  want  to  be  more 
entirely  united  to  him,  and  have  a  more  ardent 
longing  for  the  glory  of  God  and  the  salvation 
of  souls.  How  much  there  is  to  be  done  here ! 
How  much  need  of  wrestling,  prevailing  prayer ! 
We  must  have  a  revival  of  religion  soon,  for 
what  multitudes  are  going  down  the  broad  road 
to  ruin  !  When  I  meet  my  Sabbath  School  class, 
I  feel  that  these  precious  souls  must  be  gath- 
ered into  the  garner  of  the  Lord ;  but  with  him 
alone  is  the  power.  I  have  had  a  precious  sea- 
son of  prayer  to-night.  Oh !  may  the  Lord  grant 
me  many  more  such. 


CHARITABLE  COLLECTIONS.         65 

Oct.  6.  For  two  or  three  days  past  my  mind 
has  been  very  much  interested  in  the  subject  of 
missions,  and  I  wish  to  do  all  in  my  power  for 
this  cause.  During  the  present  week  I  am 
hoping  to  make  an  effort  to  collect  a  trifle  to 
send  with  the  little  gift  of  our  sewing  society 
to  the  destitute.  The  wants  of  the  world  are 
very  great,  and  how  shall  they  be  supplied? 
Not,  surely,  by  folding  our  hands,  and  shutting 
our  ears  against  the  cry,  "  come  over  and  help 
us ; "  but  by  active  exertion,  sacrifice  and  self- 
denial.  How  small  are  the  sacrifices  which  we 
have  made,  in  comparison  with  those  which 
Christ  made  for  us !  This  evening,  at  the 
monthly  concert,  a  report  was  given  of  the 
amount  contributed  in  this  place  for  the  differ- 
ent benevolent  purposes  which  we  aid.  It  was 
less  than  in  preceding  years,  and  the  remark 
was  made  that  more  might  be  obtained  if  col- 
lectors would  visit  people  at  their  houses.  If  I 
can  do  any  good  in  this  way,  I  shall  rejoice  to 
do  it,  and  will  speak  to  Mr.  W.  about  it  as  soon 
as  I  can. 

Oct.  11.  We  have  had  a  meeting  of  the 
Consociation  here  this  week,  and  it  has  been 
exceedingly  interesting  to  me.  Yesterday  after- 
noon the  Sabbath  school  was  addressed  by  re- 
turned missionaries,  who  gave  us  some  account 
5 


66  THE     SISTERS. 

of  their  schools,  the  willingness  of  the  heathen 
children  to  learn;  their  want  of  teachers,  &c. 
Oh !  I  do  so  long  to  go  to  them  myself,  —  to 
spend  my  life  on  missionary  ground.  It  is  my 
prayer  that  a  door  may  be  opened  for  me  to  go  ; 
but  if  God  has  otherwise  determined,  may  I  be 
ready  to  say,  "  Thy  will  be  done ; "  and  exert 
every  energy  of  my  soul  to  advance  his  cause 
and  kingdom  where  I  am. 

I  am  not  well  to-day,  and  am  confined  to  my 
bed.  As  I  lie  and  recount  God's  dealings  with 
me  in  past  days,  I  think  of  my  ingratitude,  that, 
through  his  infinite  mercy,  my  life  has  been 
spared;  and  I  do  feel  determined  to  labor  hence- 
forth more  earnestly  for  the  good  of  souls. 
Lord  help  me,  for  Jesus7  sake. 

These  ardent  desires  were  not  to  be  gratified. 
God,  who  selects  the  instruments  of  his  service 
with  profoundest  wisdom,  had  another  work  for 
her  to  do.  It  Avas  to  glorify  him  not  only  in 
the  performance,  but  in  the  reception  of  his 
will;  to  display  the  triumphs  of  his  grace 
amid  sickness  and  suffering ;  and,  above  all,  to 
show  that  most  beautiful  of  all  lessons,  how  a 
Christian  can  die ! 


BEGINNING    OF   SICKNESS.  67 


CHAPTER   V. 

Sickness — Thirst  for  knowledge  — Darkness  —  Parting  from  friends  — 
Spiritual  comfort  —  Resignation. 

THE  illness  mentioned  in  the  last  extract  from 
Abbie's  journal  was  the  commencement  of  a  vio- 
lent attack  of  the  prevailing  epidemic,  which 
confined  her  to  her  bed  for  several  weeks. 
Prom  this  time,  indeed,  she  never  recovered  her 
former  health.  At  times  she  was  able  to  con- 
tinue her  studies,  and  to  give  drawing  lessons 
in  the  school,  but  never  to  resume  full  employ- 
ment there ;  and  at  length  she  was  compelled  to 
desist  altogether.  Her  disease  developed  itself 
as  an  affection  of  the  liver,  and  from  this  passed 
on  into  that  fearful  scourge  of  our  northern 
climate,  consumption. 

The  record  of  her  spiritual  history  during 
this  year  and  a  half  of  decline  is  full  of  interest. 
In  the  early  part  of  it  she  was,  as  usual,  in- 
dulging herself  in  plans  and  hopes  of  enlarged 
usefulness,  chiding  herself  for  her  indolence  and 
sinfulness,  and  repeating  almost  daily  her  self- 


68  THE     SISTERS. 

consecration  to  Christ.  As  her  health  became 
more  and  more  precarious,  she  disciplined  her- 
self in  patience,  still  looking  wistfully  to  the 
hopes  she  had  formed  of  the  future,  yet  with 
them  recognizing  the  growing  probability  that 
she  was  not  to  realize  them ;  next,  striving  to 
be  wholly  reconciled  to  whatever  God  should 
appoint  for  her,  and  giving  herself  to  be  his 
in  life  and  in  death ;  and,  lastly,  waiting  in  calm 
and  peaceful  trust  the  hour,  now  evidently 
approaching,  when  she  would  be  called  to  her 
rest.  Little  need  be  said  to  supply  the  slight 
thread  of  narrative  running  through  this  period; 
and  it  is  preferred  to  allow  the  chapter  to  be 
filled  almost  wholly  with  her  own  words. 

Nov.  1,  1850.  It  is  just  three  weeks  to-day 
since  I  was  prostrated  on  a  bed  of  sickness,  and 
what  I  supposed  to  be  a  bed  of  death.  God 
has,  however,  seen  fit  to  raise  me  from  it,  and  I 
am  now  able  to  walk  about  my  room.  How  my 
gratitude  ought  to  flow  out  to  him  for  all  the 
mercies  and  blessings  with  which  he  has  sur- 
rounded me  !  Christ  has  been  with  me  in  all 
my  sickness ;  he  has  made  all  my  bed,  and  has 
been  near  to  comfort  and  sustain  me.  I  do  feel 
that  I  can  say,  "  I  know  in  whom  I  have  be- 
lieved." For  some  time  before  my  sickness,  I 


THOUGHTS   OF   HEAVEN.  69 

felt  that  I  needed  something  to  bring  me  back 
to  duty,  and  God,  in  infinite  wisdom,  has  be- 
stowed it.  He  has  laid  me  aside  from  the  busy 
cares  of  the  world,  that  I  might  have  time  for 
reflection ;  and  I  trust  that  I  shall  thank  him  for 
it  for  ever. 

I  have  had  many  sweet  thoughts  of  Christ 
and  heaven.  Sometimes  it  seemed  as  if  I  could 
almost  hear  the  music  of  the  heavenly  choir,  as 
they  sang  the  praises  of  the  Most  High.  Oh, 
how  much  I  thought  of  our  dear  Jennie !  I 
felt  so  confident  that  I  should  meet  her  in  that 
glorious  home,  never  more  to  be  separated. 
Never  shall  I  forget  the  form  which  I  imagined 
the  dear  one  to  wear,  as  she  stood,  with  her 
little  golden  singing-book,  praising  God.  When 
shall  I  meet  her  in  our  Father's  house,  and  be 
near  and  like  my  Saviour  ? 

Nov.  7.  If  I  know  my  own  heart,  I  desire  to 
make  an  entire  surrender  of  every  power  and 
faculty  of  my  soul.  I  would  keep  back  nothing, 
but  bring  all  —  yes,  all — that  I  have,  am,  or 
hope  ever  to  be,  and  lay  it  at  the  feet  of  Jesus. 
Here,  Lord,  I  give  myself  to  thee ;  take  me  and 
do  with  me  whatsoever  seemeth  good  in  thy 
sight. 

llth.  Felt  so  comfortable  this  morning  that 
I  rode  as  far  as  Centerville,  and  think  it  did  me 


70  THE     SISTERS. 

good.  How  thankful  ought  I  to  be  for  kind 
friends,  who  are  ready  to  deny  themselves  for 
my  comfort.  Especially,  how  can  I  express  my 
gratitude  for  Christian  parents.  God  only  knows 
how  many  times  the  burden  of  their  prayers 
has  been  for  my  salvation.  None,  save  those 
who  have  experienced  the  same,  can  conceive 
how  much  comfort  their  prayers  have  afforded 
me  during  my  illness.  When  I  wTas  so  wearied, 
both  in  body  and  mind,  that  I  could  not  collect 
my  thoughts  enough  to  make  one  prayer,  then 
would  my  dear  mother  kneel  at  my  bedside  and 
commend  me  to  her  covenant-keeping  God.  I 
shall  never  forget  her  prayers,  nor  those  of  my 
dear  father.  I  can  never  repay  them  for  all 
their  care  and  kindness  from  my  infancy.  0 
God,  may  they  receive  their  reward  from  on 
high,  and  help  to  lighten  all  their  cares.  And 
may  I  devote  myself  wholly  to  the  service  of 
him  to  whom  they  have  so  often  consecrated  me. 
12th.  When  I  consider  my  ignorance,  and 
the  wants  of  a  world  lying  in  wickedness,  I  feel 
that  I  must  improve  every  moment  of  my  time ; 
and,  if  my  strength  is  restored,  I  hope  to  do  it. 
I  do  long  for  more  time  for  study ;  and,  if  I 
could  live  without  sleep,  I  would  gladly  do  it  to 
gain  that  time.  I  do  thirst  for  knowledge  ;  and 
when  I  think  of  the  fields  of  science  which  lie 


INTEREST  IN  PUBLIC   WORSHIP.  71 

before  me,  I  long  to  explore  them,  and  make 
acquisitions  there  which  will  last  for  ever. 

26th.  There  is  one  question  which  weighs 
heavily  on  my  mind,  and  that  is,  how  shall  I 
obtain  a  more  thorough  education  ?  I  feel  that 
I  must  have  it,  but  how  am  I  to  get  it  ?  I  know 
not,  but  I  trust  the  Lord  will  provide.  I  believe 
God  has  a  work  for  me  to  perform  in  bringing 
souls  to  himself,  and  this  has  been  my  conviction 
ever  since  I  first  hoped  that  my  sins  were  for- 
given. In  order  to  be  prepared  for  it,  I  need 
to  have  my  mind  more  thoroughly  disciplined. 
May  Go4  guide  and  direct  me  into  all  truth,  for 
Christ's  sake. 

Abbie  was  a  very  faithful  hearer  of  the  word 
preached  in  the  sanctuary.  Ever  present  when 
not  detained  by  illness,  she  gave  to  it  the  most 
marked  attention,  and  received  it  as  addressed 
to  herself.  Her  journal  abounds  with  references 
to  the  discourses  which  she  heard,  almost  always 
mentioning  the  text  and  the  subject,  with  such 
an  application  to  her  own  heart  as  the  topic 
naturally  suggested.  The  following  is  an  in- 
stance of  this  kind. 

Dec.  15.  This  afternoon  I  was  permitted  to 
attend  church,  and  hear  Mr.  W.  preach  from 
these  words,  "  It  is  a  fearful  thing  to  fall  into 


72  THE     SISTERS. 

the  hands  of  the  living  God."  It  was  truly  a 
solemn  discourse,  and  perfect  quiet  reigned 
through  the  house.  Nothing  was  heard  save 
the  voice  of  our  dear  pastor,  as  he  warned  sin- 
ners to  flee  from  the  wrath  to  come.  It  ap- 
peared to  me  that  God  was  indeed  present  by 
his  Spirit,  to  impress  the  truth  upon  all  hearts. 
For  one,  I  felt  that  I  would  no  longer  live  with- 
out more  effort  for  the  good  of  souls.  Oh  that 
sinners  might  be  converted,  that  Christians 
would  awake  from  sleep,  examine  their  hearts 
anew,  and  unite  their  prayers  and  efforts  to 
draw  down  a  blessing  upon  this  community  !  It 
is  the  burden  of  my  supplication,  Lord,  what 
wilt  thou  have  me  to  do  ?  Have  had  a  season 
of  prayer  in  which  I  felt  unusual  earnestness. 
The  salvation  of  souls  is  at  stake,  and  shall  I 
not  wrestle  until  I  receive  a  blessing? 

It  has  been  remarked  that  she  was  not  unfre- 
quently  subject  to  depression  of  spirits.  Some- 
times, doubtless,  this  may  have  arisen  from  the 
state  of  her  health,  but  more  commonly  it 
resulted  from  her  very  great  fidelity  in  the 
scrutiny  of  her  own  heart.  So  severe  was  her 
analysis  of  her  feelings,  and  so  rigid  the  tests 
by  which  she  tried  them,  that  her  self-examina- 
tions very  often  concluded  in  bitter  things 


SPIRITUAL   DAKKNESS.  73 

recorded  against  herself.  The  writer  well  re- 
members one  very  marked  occasion  of  this  kind 
lasting  many  days,  of  which  she  wrote  as  fol- 
lows : 

Dec.  29.  My  mind  was  so  much  disturbed  in 
church,  this  morning,  that  I  thought  of  staying 
at  home  in  the  afternoon.  I  can't  pray  as  I  want 
to,  nor  can  I  do  any  thing  right.  I  don't  know 
what  to  do,  but  am  like  a  mariner  tossed  on  the 
tempestuous  ocean,  without  chart  or  compass. 

Jan.  5.  For  a  few  days  past  it  has  seemed  to 
me  that  I  am  fast  filling  up  the  measure  of  my 
iniquities.  I  very  much  doubted  to-day  whether 
I  ought  to  approach  the  communion  table,  but 
did  not  dare  to  stay  away.  I  feel  that  God  has 
reason  to  show  mercy  to  me  no  longer,  and  I 
fear  that  he  has  forsaken  me.  I  try  to  pray,  but 
fear  that  my  prayers  are  not  accepted.  I  find  no 
nearness  to  the  throne  of  grace ;  in  short,  I  fear 
that  I  have  been  altogether  deceiving  myself  in 
my  hope  of  being  a  Christian.  Under  what  a 
load  of  sin  I  am  groaning  !  0  God,  give  me  not 
up  to  hardness  of  heart,  —  spurn  me  not  away 
from  thy  presence. 

6th.  This  morning  went  down  to  Mr.  W.'s  to 
recite,  and  longed  to  state  to  him  or  Mrs.  W. 
my  feelings,  but  had  not  the  courage  to  do  so. 
I  can  neither  study,  nor  recite,  nor  do  any  thing 


74  THE     SISTERS. 

else,  without  the  thought  of  my  sins  coming  in 
and  marring  my  peace.  Oh  that  I  could  roll  off 
this  burden  upon  Christ ! 

llth.  This  afternoon  have  attended  a  prayer 
meeting  at  Mrs.  W.?s,  but  found  no  enjoyment 
in  it.  I  was  there  for  half  an  hour  before  any 
other  person  came  in,  and  had  it  on  my  tongue 
to  tell  Mrs.  W.  how  I  am  feeling,  but  could  not. 
0  my  soul,  what  will  become  of  thee  ?  Has 
God  forever  withdrawn  the  light  of  his  counte- 
nance ?  My  heart  is  as  hard  as  the  nether  mill- 
stone. What  shall  I  do  ? 

12th.  What  will  become  of  me  if  I  remain 
in  this  awful  state  ?  God  has  hidden  from  me 
the  light  of  his  countenance.  My  prayers  seem 
to  me  a  form  of  words  upon  a  thoughtless 
tongue. 

13th.  Blessed  be  thy  name,  0  God,  for  thou 
hast  heard  my  cry,  and,  as  I  humbly  hope,  hast 
enabled  me  to  cast  myself  upon  thee.  I  thank 
thee,  Father,  for  the  wonderful  plan  of  salvation 
by  which  sinners  may  be  pardoned,  and  freed 
from  the  righteous  condemnation  of  thy  law. 
This  morning  I  felt  that  I  could  live  no  longer 
as  I  have  done  for  a  few  days  past,  and  deter- 
mined to  disclose  my  feelings  to  my  dear  pastor, 
hoping  that  the  affectionate  advice  which  I  am 
always  sure  to  receive  from  him  might  do  me 


RELIEF.  75 

good ;  and  I  was  not  disappointed.  He  so 
helped  me  to  analyze  my  feelings,  and  so  clearly 
pointed  out  the  path  of  duty,  urging  me  so 
kindly  to  put  my  whole  trust  in  Christ,  and  roll 
off  all  my  burden  of  sin  upon  him,  that  I  gave 
him  my  promise  to  try  to  do  so.  He  recited, 
also,  many  of  God's  promises  to  those  who  rely 
upon  him :  and  since  I  came  home  I  have  been 
looking  for  more  of  them.  The  Bible  is  indeed 
full  of  assurances  of  God's  willingness  to  for- 
give. I  feel  that  these  promises  are  made  to 
me,  and  am  willing  to  leave  all  in  the  hands  of 
my  Saviour.  Blessed  Jesus,  thou  art  mine,  and 
I  am  thine.  Seal  me  as  thine  for  ever,  and  let 
me  never  more  stray  from  thee. 

17th.  How  great  is  the  love  of  Christ! 
While  we  were  yet  sinners  he  died  for  us.  He 
came  not  to  call  the  righteous,  but  sinners  to 
repentance.  Oh  that  we  could  realize  some- 
thing of  the  length,  and  breadth,  and  height,  and 
depth  of  that  love  !  There  is  nothing  which 
will  cause  self  to  appear  so  insignificant  as 
meditating  on  the  boundless,  overwhelming  love 
of  the  Saviour.  If  I  know  my  own  heart,  I 
desire  to  put  self  entirely  down;  to  become 
nothing ;  to  sink  into  oblivion,  as  it  were,  that 
he  may  become  all  in  all  to  my  soul.  Dear 
Saviour,  wilt  thou  reign  supreme  in  my  heart? 


76  THE     SISTERS. 

I  desire  to  be  wholly  thine ;  to  have  no  will  of 
my  own  ;  to  ask  for  nothing  that  will  not  be  for 
thy  glory.  I  am  poor  and  needy,  I  leave  myself 
helpless  at  thy  feet. 

Abbie's  health  seemed  to  improve  during  the 
latter  part  of  the  winter,  and  with  it,  her  ardent 
desire  for  a  thorough  education  revived. 

Feb.  16.  I  feel  that  I  might  be  much  more 
useful  with  a  better  education,  and  long  to 
attend  school.  But  I  can  not  apply  to  my 
parents  for  the  necessary  means,  and  I  see  not 
how  I  can  obtain  them.  I  leave  it  all  with  my 
heavenly  Father ;  he  only  knows  what  is  best 
for  me.  Dear  Saviour,  into  thy  hands  I  commit 
my  all  for  time  and  eternity. 

23d.  I  do  long  to  improve  my  mind  by  study 
more  than  I  can  do  at  home ;  and  I  think  so 
much  of  it  that,  some  days,  almost  every  thing 
else  is  forgotten.  I  have  tried  to-day  not  to 
think  of  it,  but  Mt.  Holyoke  and  the  way  to 
reach  it,  would  crowd  themselves  into  my  mind. 
To-night  I  have  endeavored  to  commit  all  my 
way  to  the  Lord,  and  desire  to  do  his  will.  If 
he  has  otherwise  determined,  I  desire  to  submit 
cheerfully,  for  he  doeth  all  things  well.  0  Lord, 
thou  art  my  Friend,  my  Counselor  and  Guide. 


BREATHING    AFTER    HOLINESS.  77 

Show  me  what  ihou  wilt  have  me  to  do  and 
to  be. 

March  2.  Night  before  last  I  had  a  long  talk 

with  I about  giving  herself  to  the  Saviour. 

I  have  wished  for  a  long  time  to  introduce  the 
subject,  but  have  lacked  courage,  and  conse- 
quently put  it  off.  I  trust  that  the  Lord  was 
with  me  ;  and  my  prayer  is  that  he  will  enable 
me  to  be  faithful  to  her.  I  am  sure  that  the 
effort  did  me  good,  whether  it  benefited  her 
or  not. 

16th.  This  morning  found  much  enjoyment 
in  reading  and  prayer.  I  would  not  exchange 
these  employments  for  every  thing  which  the 
world  can  give.  Heavenly  Father,  omnipotent 
and  merciful,  whose  word  can  animate  the  silent 
dust,  wilt  thou  awake  my  heart  to  praise  thy 
name  !  Give  fervor  to  my  devotions,  enlighten 
my  understanding,  purify  my  mind.  Keep  me 
in  the  path  of  duty,  the  narrow  way  that  lead- 
eth  to  eternal  life.  Teach  me  to  repent  and  to 
forsake  all  sin,  to  remember  that  it  is  opposed  to 
thy  holy  and  righteous  law,  and  is  the  source  of 
all  evil.  Almighty  Father,  erase  from  my  heart 
all  idolatry  of  a  world  so  transitory  and  vain  as 
this.  Teach  me  that  it  is  not  my  home,  but 
that  I  am  journeying  to  a  better  country, 
"whose  builder  and  maker  is  God."  When  I 


78  THE     SISTERS. 

review  my  past  life,  I  see  continual  remissness 
in  duty,  and  failure  in  reaching  that  standard  of 
excellence  which  my  imagination  has  depicted. 
That  I  have  wished  to  perform  my  duty  is  my 
chief  consolation. 

April  3.  Have  felt  very  weak  to-day,  and 
suffered  some  pain,  yet  I  have  no  disposition  to 
complain,  but  rather  say,  "  Sweet  affliction,  that 
brings  Jesus  to  my  soul." 

4th.  Last  evening  had  a  long  talk  with  my 
father.  He  spoke  much  of  the  Christian's  hope, 
the  vanity  of  earthly  things,  and  the  importance 
of  preparation  for  death.  If  God  has  work  for 
me  to  do,  I  am  willing  to  do  it.  If  he  sees  fit 
to  afflict  and  lay  me  aside  from  active  life,  I 
trust  that  he  will  help  me  to  bear  it  with  Chris- 
tian submission.  I  have  given  myself  to  the 
Lord  to  do  with  me  as  seemeth  good  in  his 
sight ;  and  it  is  my  desire  that  he  will  so  use 
me  as  best  to  promote  his  honor  and  glory.  I 
find  light  in  my  Saviour's  smiles,  and  would  not 
give  up  my  hope  in  Christ  for  all  the  wealth  of 
the  world.  I  do  feel  that  he  is  the  chief  among 
ten  thousands,  and  the  one  altogether  lovely. 

Her  eldest  brother  being  about  to  leave  home, 
in  the  expectation  of  establishing  himself  in 
business  at  the  West,  she  addressed  to  him,  just 


LETTER   TO    HER   BROTHER.  79 

before   his   departure,  the   following    touching 
note  : 

April,  1851. 
DEAR  BROTHER  E : 

You  know  not  the  emotions  which  fill  my 
breast  as  the  hour  is  drawing  near  when  we 
must  part,  —  and,  perhaps,  for  ever.  For  ever, 
did  I  say  ?  Ah  no,  for  have  we  not  the  same 
hope  of  heaven  ?  Are  we  not  traveling  to  the 
same  home  ?  But  I  feel  that  the  cords  which 
bind  us  to  one  another  here  may  be  broken 
before  we  again  meet.  Since  I  have  been  sick 
I  have  felt  that,  probably,  my  work  here  is  well 
nigh  done  ;  and  that  ere  long  I  shall  be  called 
to  put  off  this  mortal,  and  put  on  immortality. 
My  heavenly  Father  only  knows. 

My  dear  brother,  when  the  thought  of  part- 
ing from  you  comes  up  in  all  its  reality,  and  we 
are  conversing  upon  every  worldly  subject,  I 
feel  that  the  all-important  one  should  not  be 
forgotten.  Let  me,  therefore,  with  all  the  love 
of  a  sister,  entreat  you  to  be  firm  and  unyield- 
ing when  temptation  assails  you;  keep  your  eye 
on  heaven ;  turn  neither  to  the  right  hand  nor 
to  the  left;  and  let  your  couse  be  onward  and 
upward.  Let  not  the  wTorld  lure  you  from  the 
path  of  duty,  but  ever  listen  to  the  monitor 
within  and  heed  its  friendly  warnings.  Take 


80  THE     SISTERS. 

Jesus  Christ  as  your  perfect  pattern,  and  follow 
in  his  footsteps ;  doing  good  to  all  as  you  have 
opportunity,  and  remembering  that  "  the  night 
of  death  cometh  when  no  man  can  work." 

0  dear  brother,  I  want  to  sit  down  and  have 
a  long  talk  with  you  ;  but,  as  I  can't  do  this,  I 
trust  you  will  excuse  me  for  writing  these  few 
lines.  I  feel  tired  and  weak,  so  that  I  can't 
write  much,  but  nothing  shall  hinder  me  from 
daily  commending  you  to  my  Father  in  heaven. 
I  design  to  devote  the  hour  of  twilight  as  a  sea- 
son in  which  to  remember  you  at  the  throne  of 
grace.  Will  you  not  think  of  me,  at  this  quiet 
hour,  as  I  bend  the  knee  before  my  Father's 
throne  to  supplicate  the  richest  of  heaven's 
blessings  upon  my  absent  and  beloved  brother  ? 

Your  loving  and  affectionate  sister, 
Sunday  afternoon.  ABBIE. 

To  MRS.  W. 

MY  DEAR  MRS.  W.:  —  I  have  been  wishing 
for  two  or  three  days  that  I  could  see  you,  and, 
as  a  substitute,  I  send  you  these  few  lines.  I 
regret  much  that  I  shall  not  be  able  to  attend 
our  prayer  meeting  this  afternoon ;  for  when  I 
do  it  always  does  me  good.  But  though  I  may 
not  meet  with  you,  I  shall  esteem  it  a  privilege 
to  go  alone  and  ask  the  blessing  of  God  on  that 


SUBMISSION.  81 

little  circle.  If  I  know  my  own  heart,  I  want 
to  labor  in  the  service  of  Christ ;  yet,  if  he  sees 
best  to  afflict  me  .with  bodily  weakness  and  pain, 
I  would  not  complain. 

Do  exhort  the  ladies  to  labor  and  pray  as  if 
they  knew  it  was  the  last  opportunity  they 
would  ever  have  to  do  good.  While  Christians 
sleep  on,  so  regardless  of  the  interests  of  the 
soul,  how  can  they  expect  sinners  to  be  con- 
verted ?  Let  us  be  more  faithful ;  let  us  wrestle 
in  prayer  until  we  obtain  a  blessing;  until  a 
shower  of  divine  grace  descends  and  causes 
these  dry  bones  to  live. 

I  have  just  been  reading  this  over,  and  am 
doubting  whether  I  had  better  send  it ;  but  I 
trust  you  will  pardon  the  liberty  I  have  taken. 

Your  ever  loving  and  affectionate  friend, 
Saturday  morning.  ABBIE. 

May  4.  It  is  now  six  weeks  since  I  have 
been  able  to  attend  church,  or  to  go  out,  and 
during  this  time  I  have  been  constantly  afflicted 
with  weakness  and  pain.  I  feel  no  disposition 
to  complain,  for  I  believe  that  this  affliction  is 
for  my  good.  My  Saviour  deals  very  gently 
w^ith  me,  and  in  great  mercy  lays  me  aside  from 
more  active  cares,  that  I  may  have  opportunity 
to  think  of  him,  of  my  own  condition,  and  of  the 
6 


82  THE     SISTERS. 

responsibilities  of  life.  I  have  often  complained 
of  the  want  of  time  and  the  pressure  of  worldly 
cares,  as  being  a  great  impediment  to  my  growth 
in  grace  ;  but  these  are  now  removed,  and  I  have 
nothing  but  my  own  hard  heart  to  contend  with. 
It  is  now  a  little  more  than  three  years  since  I 
was  induced  to  commence  this  journal,  in  order 
to  render  the  work  of  self-examination  more  com- 
plete. During  this  time  many  things,  in  them- 
selves often  "trifles  light  as  air/'  have  very 
frequently  prevented  me  from  'rendering  my 
daily  account.  Is  it  that  my  life  is  too  unprofit- 
able to  deserve  record  ?  If  so,  how  can  it  bear 
the  scrutiny  of  him  who  sees  all  its  errors  and 
imperfections  ?  If  unable  to  stand  the  test  of 
my  own  judgment,  how  shall  it  endure  to  bo 
judged  at  the  tribunal  of  a  righteous  God? 
How  solemn  and  alarming  are  these  questions. 
0  Thou,  to  whom  the  thoughts  of  all  hearts  are 
revealed,  wilt  thou  search  my  heart  and  my 
life  ?  Send  down  thy  light  and  truth  into  my 
understanding.  Suffer  me  not  to  rely  upon  the 
broken  reed  of  my  own  strength,  but  lead  me 
by  thy  wisdom ;  uphold  me  by  thy  power. 

I  often  think  that  my  days  here  are  nearly 
spent,  —  that  a  few  more  days  of  illness  will 
close  my  eyes  upon  all  earthly  things.  Oh,  in 
that  solemn  moment  may  the  consoling  recol- 


ENJOYMENT    OF   NATURE.  83 

lection  of  a  life  of  usefulness  be  mine ;  and  may 
the  merits  of  a  crucified  Saviour  secure  me  a 
place  at  his  right  hand. 

June  1.  As  I  sit  by  my  window,  looking  out 
upon  this  beautiful  world,  now  clothed  in  its 
richest  verdure,  every  thing  seems  to  repeat  the 
same  utterances  of  love  and  joy.  Morning 
seems  to  be  the  time  for  praise.  When,  rising 
from  our  beds,  we  open  our  eyes  upon  all  this 
beauty,  how  can  our  thoughts  but  rise  to  the 
Giver  of  all.  Evening  seems  to  be  peculiarly 
adapted  to  gentle  and  peaceful  thoughts ;  but 
both  morning  and  evening  speak  alike  of  our 
heavenly  Father,  who  is  ever  good  and  kind. 
How  lovely  is  Nature !  The  trees,  robed  in 
luxuriant  foliage,  wave  gracefully  in  the  fra- 
grant breeze,  while  the  sunlight,  merrily  dancing 
in  shadows  beneath,  sheds  a  mellow  tint  over 
leaf  and  flower,  or  rests  in  golden  beauty  on 
hill  and  dale,  clothed  in  their  living  green.  The 
happy  songsters  of  the  grove  plume  their  bright 
wings  and  soar  aloft  towards  the  clear  vault  of 
heaven,  as  if  to  pour  their  notes  of  praise  into 
the  ear  of  their  Maker.  And  shall  I  alone  re- 
main cold  and  ungrateful  ?  Ah  no ;  I  have 
resolved  to  come  now  and  consecrate  myself  in 
love  to  him.  I  want  to  be  wholly  the  Lord's. 
I  want  to  have  my  mind  brought  into  entire 


84  THE     SISTERS. 

conformity  to  his  will.  I  want  a  heart  ever 
open  to  the  wants  arid  woes  of  my  fellow  crea- 
tures, and  ever  ready  to  sympathize  with  the 
distressed. 

June  3.  Have  spent  the  day  with  my  dear 
Mrs.  W.,  and  it  seems  to  me  that  I  never  loved 
her  half  so  well  before.  Her  heart  is  running 
over  with  love  and  Christian  kindness.  She 
has  to-day  told  me  some  of  their  thoughts  in 
regard  to  removing  from  this  place.  If  they 
should  leave,  it  seems  to  me  I  could  not  bear 
up  under  it.  What  should  I  now  be  but  for 
them  ?  How  kind  they  have  been  to  me  ;  how 
many  times  have  they  taken  me  by  the  hand 
and  pointed  me  to  the  Saviour,  in  the  hour  of 
darkness  and  temptation.  I  can  never  express 
my  thanks  ;  but  they  will  meet  their  reward  in 
heaven.  Had  a  precious  season  of  prayer  with 
Mrs.  W. 

Aug.  18.  I  have  for  some  time  discontinued 
my  journal,  and  have  doubted  whether  I  had 
better  resume  it,  fearing,  from  some  things 
which  I  have  read  respecting  private  journals, 
that  it  might  be  injurious  rather  than  beneficial. 
But  I  feel  that  this  exercise  has  been  useful  to 
me  hitherto,  and  I  hope  it  will  continue  to  be 
so.  To-day  I  have  been  recounting  God's  deal- 
ings with  me  for  the  last  ten  months,  and  feel 


AFFLICTION   SANCTIFIED.  85 

that  he  has  indeed  been  merciful.  He  saw  me 
wandering  from  the  fold  of  Christ,  and  has  sent 
affliction  to  bring  me  back  to  duty.  He  has 
given  me  kind  friends,  ever  ready  to  minister  to 
my  wants,  and  all  the  privileges  and  enjoyments 
of  social  life.  But,  among  all  the  blessings 
which  I  have  experienced,  I  feel  that  for  none 
have  I  more  reason  to  be  thankful  than  for  the 
sickness  with  which  I  have  been  visited.  In 
these  seasons  I  have  had  the  clearest  views  of 
earth  and  heaven,  of  life  and  of  death ;  and 
have  resolved  that  every  energy  and  faculty  of 
my  soul  should  be  devoted  to  my  Redeemer. 

Sept.  11.  Yesterday  attended  the  Sewing 
Society  at  Mr.  W.'s,  who,  with  his  wife,  made 
some  remarks  relative  to  leaving  us.  It  was 
really  a  very  sad  day  for  me.  I  have  tried  not 
to  think  much  about  their  going,  but  as  the  time 
draws  near,  I  find  I  can  think  of  little  else.  I 
thought  of  it  all  last  night,  and  often  wonder 
what  I  shall  do  without  them  in  time  of  trouble 
and  distress.  But  it  is  a  comforting  assurance 
that  though  earthly  friends  forsake,  there  is  a 
"  Friend  that  sticketh  closer  than  a  brother." 
Perhaps,  if  I  am  separated  from  earthly  friends, 
I  shall  lean  more  upon  Christ  for  help.  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  W.  have  indeed  been  like  father  and  mother 
to  me,  and  I  can  never  repay  them  for  all  their 


86  THE     SISTERS. 

kindness.  I  feel  that  I  am  more  indebted  to 
them  than  to  any  body  else  for  any  right  views 
I  have  of  life,  of  Christian  responsibility,  and  of 
Christ  himself.  During  the  five  years  they  have 
spent  here,  I  have  been  permitted  to  enjoy 
many  pleasant  and,  I  trust,  profitable  interviews 
with  them ;  but  the  seasons  longest  to  be  re- 
membered are  those  which  we  have  spent 
together  in  prayer.  Can  it  be  that  we  shall 
meet  thus  no  more? 

Sept.  21.  Have  to-day  attended  church  and 
heard  Mr.  W.  preach  for  the  last  time  as  our 
pastor-  in  the  morning  from  John  14:  21,  in 
the  afternoon  from  1  Peter  4 :  7,  "  But  the  end 
of  all  things  is  at  hand,  be  ye  therefore  sober 
and  watch  unto  prayer."  Our  dear  pastor  dwelt 
much  on  the  transitoriness  of  all  earthly  things. 
Surely,  "  passing  away  "  is  written  on  all  below. 
The  end  of  all  earthly  connections  is  at  hand. 
If  not  separated  before,  death  wrill  soon  rend 
asunder  the  ties  which  bind  pastor  and  people, 
husband  and  wife,,  parents  and  children,  brothers 
and  sisters,  friend  and  friend ;  but  if  we  only 
have  an  interest  in  Christ,  we  may  soon  meet 
where  parting  shall  be  no  more. 

Oct.  26.  Oh  for  a  heart  full  of  love  to  souls! 
Dear  Saviour,  be  pleased  to  shed  upon  me  the 
riches  of  thy  grace.  Abase  every  high  imagi- 


LETTER   TO    S.    B.  87 

nation  before  thee,  and  help  me  to  walk  humbly 
in  thy  sight.  In  spite  of  what  the  world  may 
say,  may  I  ever  retain  a  low  opinion  of  my  best 
actions,  viewing  them  all  as  unworthy  of  thy 
notice,  and  far  bcxow  what  ought  to  have  come 
from  one  so  highly  favored.  Oh,  give  me  the 
most  abasing  views  of  self,  and  the  most  deep 
and  abiding  sense  of  my  unworthiness,  utter 
helplessness,  vileness  and  nothingness,  that  wrhen 
I  approach  the  mercy  seat  it  may  be  as  an  im- 
potent beggar  craving  a  crumb  of  undeserved 
mercy. 

Hamden,  Dec.  3,  1851. 
To  S.  B. 

It  was  with  much  pleasure  that  I  received 
your  kind  letter.  It  always  affords  me  pleasure 
to  hear  from  those  I  love  ;  and  I  hope,  my  dear 
Sarah,  that  you  will  often  write  to  me,  for  your 
letters  will  meet  with  a  hearty  welcome.  I  am 
glad  to  see  that  you  have  made  so  good  progress 
in  writing. 

I  suppose  if  I  should  come  to  W.  I  should 
scarcely  know  you,  or  your  brothers,  and  I  am 
quite  sure  I  should  need  an  introduction  to 
Abb ie  Dickerman.  I  really  feel  quite  honored  to 
have  your  little  sister  named  for  me  ;  —  please 
tell  your  parents  that  I  am  much  obliged  to 
them  for  this  token  of  their  kind  remembrance. 


88  THE     SISTERS. 

I  should  like  to  see  the  little  miss  very  much. 
Give  her  six  sweet  kisses  from  me,  and  tell  her 
to  be  a  good  girl.  How  much  you  must  think 
of  her !  If  she  is  spared  to  grow  up,  she  will, 
of  course,  look  up  to  you  as  an  older  sister,  and 
do  as  she  sees  you  do.  Strive,  then,  to  set  an 
example  before  her  worthy  of  imitation.  Give 
your  heart  to  the  Saviour,  love  and  serve  him, 
and  look  to  him  constantly  for  guidance.  If  you 
do  this,  you  may  rest  assured  that  he  will  assist 
you,  and  enable  you  to  be  a  good  daughter  and 
a  faithful  sister. 

Dear  Sarah,  you  know  the  affection  I  have  for 
you,  and  the  deep  interest  I  feel,' — yes,  and 
ever  shall  feel, — in  all  that  concerns  you.  And 
my  most  ardent  wish  for  you  is  that  you  may  be 
an  heir  of  heaven.  You  are  not  too  young  to 
love  the  Saviour ;  give  your  heart  to  him,  and 
you  will  be  happy  for  ever. 

While  I  write,  my  mind  continually  reverts  to 
two  little  girls  who  died  here  last  year.  If  you 
will  bear  with  me  a  few  moments  I  will  tell  you 
about  them.  One  of  them  was  our  minister's 
"  little  Jennie/'  aged  six  years ;  the  other  a 
cousin  of  hers,  from  New  York,  "  little  Lillie," 
aged  seven.  She  came  here  with  her  mother 
on  a  visit,  and  was  taken  sick  a  day  or  two  after, 
and  died  in  a  little  more  than  a  week.  She  died 


LETTER   TO   S.    B.  89 

rejoicing  in  Christ.  She  told  her  mother  she 
was  going  to  live  with  him  in  heaven,  and  she 
would  come  and  watch  over  her,  and  her  dear 
lonely  papa  and  sister.  Our  dear  Jennie,  too, 
she  is  gone.  On  Friday  she  was  at  the  public 
examination  of  our  school,  full  of  animation,  and 
the  very  picture  of  health.  She  recited,  before 
a  crowded  assembly,  part  of  Colburn's  arithme- 
tic and  nearly  the  whole  of  Smith's  geography, 
without  a  single  failure,  and  in  such  a  manner 
as  would  have  done  credit  to  a  girl  twice  her 
age.  She  left  her  books,  expecting  to  return 
the  next  term ;  but,  alas !  her  heavenly  Father 
called,  and  she  must  obey  the  summons.  In  two 
short  weeks  from  that  time  we  were  called  to 
follow  her  remains  to  the  grave  !  She  was  a 
lovely  child,  the  joy  of  her  parents  and  teachers, 
and  the  favorite  of  all.  Never  have  I  felt  the 
loss  of  a  friend  so  much  before ;  it  seemed  like 
parting  with  a  sister.  She  will  never  go  to 
school  to  me  any  more,  but  I  trust  she  is  in  a 
better  school,  and  Christ  is  her  teacher.  Lovely 
child  !  thou  canst  not  come  to  us,  but  we  shall 
go  to  thee.  Let  us,  dear  Sarah,  be  prepared  to 
meet  in  heaven,  never  again  to  part. 

My  health  has  not  been  good  this  winter.  I 
had  a  very  severe  fit  of  sickness  in  the  fall,  from 
which  I  have  never  recovered.  I  do  n't  think 


90  THE     SISTERS. 

you  would  know  me  at  all,  for  I  have  had  my 
hair  cut  off  close  to  my  head.  My  sisters  call 
me  "  bub ;?  some  of  the  time. 

I  am;  as  ever,  your  affectionate  friend, 

ABBIE. 

Jan.  16.  My  heavenly  Father  is  dealing  very 
gently  with  me.  He  makes  all  my  bed  in  my 
sickness,  and  puts  underneath  me  his  arm  of 
love.  Yesterday  I  suffered  a  good  deal,  but  not 
half  so  much  as  I  deserve.  I  feel  that  my  cup 
is  running  over  with  blessings.  What  shall  I 
render  to  the  Lord  for  all  his  benefits  ?  It  is, 
indeed,  a  very  great  favor  to  have  such  kind 
friends,  who  anticipate  my  every  want ;  and  I 
feel  that  they  are  from  the  Lord.  Oh,  how  good 
and  kind  he  is  !  I  have  great  cause  for  grati- 
tude that  it  should  have  pleased  him  to  call  me 
in  early  life  into  his  service  ;  and  now,  though 
so  univortliy,  I  can  look  forward  with  the  hope 
of  a  glorious  immortality. 

When  shall  I  reach  that  happy  place, 

And  be  for  ever  blest  ? 
When  shall  I  see  my  Father's  face, 

And  in  his  bosom  rest  ? 

Feb.  5.  I  have  just  received  a  very  beautiful 
bouquet  from  C.,  of  which  I  think  a  great  deal. 
How  kind  my  friends  all  are  ! 


LETTER   TO    MRS.    W.  91 

8th.  This  has  been  such  a  day  as  I  have  long 
desired,  —  one  in  which  I  could  be  alone  with 
God,  that  I  might  review  my  life,  and  spread 
out  all  my  sins  before  him,  hoping  for  a  full 
pardon  through  my  crucified  Redeemer.  What 
a  privilege  to  be  alone.  I  am  strongly  attached 
to  my  friends,  and  dearly  do  I  love  their  society, 
but  I  would  rather  be  debarred  all  intercourse 
with  them  than  to  have  no  season  of  retirement 
and  communion  with  God.  Without  this  we 
can  not  be  living  and  growing  Christians.  I 
would  bring  death,  judgment,  and  eternity 
nearer  to  my  view.  I  would  look  upon  them 
as  realities  concerning  me,  personally,  and  be 
preparing  to  meet  them  calmly  and  joyfully. 

To  MBS.  W.  Fek  27' 

MY  DEAR  MRS.  W.:  —  I  hope  you  will  not 
think  I  have  forgotten  you,  though  I  have 
allowed  your  kind  letter  to  remain  unanswered. 
I  have  had  a  bad  cough  for  three  months,  and 
for  eight  weeks  have  been  unable  to  do  any 
thing.  During  this  time  I  have  been  wholly 
confined,  and  sit  up  only  about  half  of  the  time. 
The  doctor  thinks  I  have  a  disease  of  the  spine 
and  lungs,  together  with  nry  old  complaints.  I 
sometimes  think  it  rather  hard  to  be  laid  aside 
so  much,  just  at  the  time  when  I  want  to  be  im- 


92  THE     SISTERS. 

proving  my  mind  ;  then  I  think  this  very  afflic- 
tion may  be  the  means  which  God  will  see  fit 
to  bless  in  bringing  me  nearer  to  himself.  I 
would  not  direct,  but  rejoice  that  I  am  in  the 
hands  of  One  who  will  overrule  all  things  as  he 
sees  best  for  me.  If  I  know  my  own  heart,  I 
ask  not  for  life  or  death,  sickness  or  health,  but 
that  God  will  dispose  of  me  in  such  manner  as 
will  best  promote  his  glory.  I  often  think  of 
what  Mr.  W.  said  to  me  last  spring,  viz. :  "  We 
can  as  well  glorify  God  by  suffering  as  by  doing 
his  will ; "  and  it  has  been  a  great  comfort  to 
me. 

How  I  wish  I  could  sit  down  and  talk  with 
you  one  half  hour.     I  have  a  great  deal  to  say, 
but  don't  feel  able  to  write  much  more  to-day. 
As  ever,  your  affectionate  friend, 

ABBIE. 

March  29.  This  morning  I  had  much  enjoy- 
ment in  calling  to  mind  passages  of  Scripture, 
and  meditating  upon  them.  I  find  such  an 
exercise  very  profitable. 

The  patience  which  Abbie  manifested  in  her 
protracted  and  painful  sickness  proceeded  from 
no  insensibility,  either  physical  or  mental.  It 
was  the  fruit  rather  of  severe  self-discipline;  of 


RESOLUTIONS.  93 

incessant  watchfulness  and  self-restraint,  aided 
by  prayer  and  reliance  on  the  strength  of  Christ. 
Not  unfrequently  do  we  find  some  such  record 
as  the  following : 

April  15.  I  am  resolved  to  strive  earnestly 
to  gain  the  mastery  over  my  own  evil  temper. 
I  often  allow  feelings  of  anger  to  rise  in  my 
breast  at  the  least  provocation,  which  I  feel  to 
be  very  sinful.  I  will  endeavor  to  have  every 
word,  every  look  fraught  with  kindness  and 
love,  —  to  show  in  all  things  that  I  desire  the 
happiness  of  others  above  my  own.  I  know 
that  I  shall  be  strongly  tempted  to  speak  and 
act  hastily.  I  have  found  it  hard  to-day  to  com- 
mand my  feelings,  but  I  have  looked  to  God  for 
guidance,  and  hope  I  ever  shall  do  so.  I  know 
that  his  grace  will  be  sufficient  for  me.  If  I 
would  overcome,  I  must  fight  earnestly ;  I  must 
not  allow  difficulties  to  discourage  me ;  but 
these  should,  as  I  hope  they  will,  drive  me 
nearer  to  Christ,  where  is  help  for  the  feeblest 
lamb  of  the  flock. 

April  22.  Christ  seems  to  me  precious  to- 
night, and  I  feel  that  I  can  trust  him.  How 
delightful  it  will  be  to  spend  eternity  in  his 
presence.  I  feel  sometimes  that  I  can  hardly 
wait  all  my  appointed  time  ;  and  wish  for  "  the 
wings  of  a  dove,  that  I  may  fly  away  and  be  at 


94  THE     SISTERS. 

rest."  And  yet  I  love  this  beautiful  world,  my 
friends  and  all  around  me, — ah  yes,  far  too  well! 
Often  do  they  draw  away  my  thoughts  and  my 
affections  from  heaven.  Dear  Saviour,  wilt  thou 
throw  around  me  thine  arms  of  love,  and  pre- 
serve me  from  all  these  snares?  I  daily  find 
that,  of  myself,  I  can  do  nothing  right.  There 
are  in  my  heart  so  many  wicked,  selfish  feel- 
ings, so  much  pride  and  rebellion  left ;  but  the 
blood  of  Jesus  cleanseth  from  all  sin.  "  Thanks 
be  to  God  for  this  unspeakable  gift." 

Am  I  striving  to  glorify  God  ?  I  fear,  not ; 
but  Oh !  I  will  strive.  I  do  not  pray  as  much  as 
I  ought,  and  without  prayer  every  thing  goes 
wrong :  prayer  is  my  only  stronghold.  Lord, 
teach  me  to  pray,  —  to  pray  with  a  right  spirit. 
"  Call  upon  me  in  the  day  of  trouble  and  I  will 
answer."  "  Seek  and  ye  shall  find ;"  "  Ask  and 
ye  shall  receive."  How  precious  !  I  will  trust 
him.  Begone  unbelief! 

April  30.  I  asked  the  doctor  to-day  whether 
he  thought  I  would  recover.  He  did  not  tell 
me  plainly,  but  I  inferred  from  what  he  said 
that  he  thought  it  doubtful.  I  am  afraid  that  I 
do  not  feel  as  submissive  as  I  ought.  I  had 
hoped  to  be  useful  in  the  world,  —  that  I  should, 
some  time,  be  permitted  to  teach  those  who 
have  never  heard  of  a  crucified  Saviour.  I 


RESIGNATION.  95 

have  been  very  anxious  to  study,  but  for  a  year 
and  a  half  my  studies  have  been  interrupted  by 
ill  health,  and,  for  the  most  part,  discontinued. 
I  feel  that  I  must,  probably,  relinquish  all  my 
favorite  plans  for  improvement  and  usefulness. 
I  have  cherished  them  so  long  that  it  is  hard, 
yet  I  know  that  it  is  well.  God  can  glorify  him- 
self in  me  here,  when  confined  by  disease,  as 
well  as  in  any  other  circumstances.  I  hope  that 
he  will  enable  me  to  be  entirely  submissive  to 
his  will,  bearing  patiently  anci  cheerfully  what- 
ever he  shall  lay  upon  me.  He  knows  what  I 
need  far  better  than  I  do,  and  what  will  best 
prepare  me  for  an  inheritance  among  the  saints 
in  light. 

I  have  not  borne  my  sickness  thus  far  as  I 
ought.  I  have  been  impatient  that  I  had  to 
take  so  much  medicine,  and  have  said  things 
which  I  know  have  hurt  my  dear  mother's  feel- 
ings. I  never  do  it  without  deep  compunction. 
It  grieves  me  that  I  should  thus  pain  her,  and 
dishonor  Christ.  She  is  the  kindest  of  mothers, 
ever  anxious  for  the  welfare  of  her  children,  — 
how  can  I  thus  afflict  her  ?  I  have  no  strength 
in  myself.  In  my  Saviour  is  an  all-sufficient 
help,  one  mighty  to  save ;  I  will  go  to  him  for 
grace  and  strength  to  overcome. 

May  2.     This  is  indeed  a  delightful  morning. 


96  THE     SISTERS. 

All  nature  seems  to  speak  forth  the  praises  of 
God.  How  can  I  sufficiently  bless  him  for  all 
his  goodness  to  me,  —  how  can  I  best  show 
forth  my  gratitude  ?  I  feel  this  morning  that  I 
can  praise  him  from  my  heart.  I  am  calm  and 
peaceful  in  his  love.  I  long  to  sit  this  after- 
noon at  his  table  and  commemorate  his  dying 
love,  but  I  am  too  weak  to  attempt  it.  I  trust 
that  my  Saviour  will  manifest  himself  to  me 
here  at  home ;  that  he  will  help  me  to  recognize 
his  hand  in  this  sickness,  and  bless  the  glorious 
Giver,  who  doeth  all  things  well. 

4th.  "What  a  beautiful  world  this  is !  How 
much  in  it  to  admire  and  to  love  !  We  can  turn 
our  eyes  in  no  possible  direction  without  behold- 
ing the  handiwork  of  God.  The  earth  is  full  of 
his  goodness.  I  want  to  view  the  beauties  of 
nature  with  the  eye  of  a  Christian,  considering 
them  as  pledges  of  brighter  glories  to  be  en- 
joyed in  the  heavenly  world.  I  want  to  see  my 
Father  in  every  thing ;  to  have  all  my  thoughts 
rising  "  from  nature  up  to  nature's  God  ;"  to  be 
daily  taught  of  him,  to  be  constantly  preparing 
for  a  seat  at  his  right  hand. 

May  6.  Yesterday  I  suffered  a  good  deal  of 
pain,  and  felt  very  feeble  through  the  day.  I 
tried  to  be  patient,  and  was  grieved  that  I  did 
not  succeed  better.  I  feel  much  the  same  to-day 


JOY   AND    PEACE.  97 

in  body,  but  my  inind  is  more  calm,  and  I  feel 
more  like  submitting  to  my  heavenly  Father's 
will.  He  has  promised  that  he  will  never  leave 
nor  forsake  those  who  trust  in  him;  and  has 
said  "  My  grace  is  sufficient  for  thee.77  How 
precious  are  the  promises  of  God !  "  Though 
the  Lord  be  high,  yet  hath  he  respect  unto  the 
lowly."  "  Call  upon  me  in  the  day  of  trouble; 
I  will  deliver  thee,  and  thou  shalt  glorify  me.77 

"  Dear  refuge  of  my  weary  soul, 
On  thee,  when  sorrows  rise, 
On  thee,  when  waves  of  trouble  roll, 
My  fainting  hope  relies." 

Have  had  a  precious  season  with  my  Saviour 
this  afternoon,  and  I  would  bless  him  who  "  hath 
not  turned  away  my  prayer,  nor  his  mercy  from 
me.77  It  is  my  constant  prayer  that  I  may  bear 
with  patience  whatever  is  laid  upon  me,  and 
that  I  may  have  the  presence  of  Christ  con- 
tinually, and  be  filled  with  his  spirit.  Oh !  I 
want  always  to  trust  him,  to  be  perfectly  re- 
signed and  submissive. 

"  O  Lord,  my  best  desires  fulfill, 

And  help  me  to  resign 
Life,  health  and  comfort  to  thy  will, 
And  make  thy  pleasure  mine." 

It  is  comforting  to  know  that  I  am  in  the 

7 


98  THE     SISTERS. 

hands  of  such  a  holy  and  merciful  God,  who 
does  not  afflict  willingly.  I  rejoice  that  it  is 
not  left  with  me  to  mark  out  my  path  in  life,  for 
I  might  now  be  gaily  passing  on  in  that  broad 
road  that  leads  down  to  destruction ;  chasing 
the  butterflies  of  a  day,  without  a  thought  of 
death,  judgment,  or  eternity.  I  might  have 
avoided  sickness  and  disease,  and  passed  on 
prosperously  for  a  time,  but  oh,  what  would 
have  been  my  end  !  The  thought  is  enough  to 
make  me  shrink  with  terror  from  myself  and 
seek  refuge  under  the  shadow  of  Christ's  wing. 
The  afflictions  which  God  sends  upon  his  chil- 
dren are  blessings  in  disguise,  designed  to  pre- 
pare them  the  better  for  heaven.  Oh,  will  not 
heaven  be  a  great  deal  sweeter  because  we 
have  suffered  here  ? 

Friday,  May  7th.  God  is  dealing  with  me  in 
love.  In  these  days  of  weakness  and  pain  he  is 
granting  me  many  comforts  and  consolations, 
and  I  believe  he  will  help  me  bear  all  my  trials, 
and  put  all  my  trust  in  him.  I  don't  think  I 
feel  much  anxiety  about  the  final  issue  of  my 
disease,  but  I  rejoice  that  I  am  in  the  hands  of 
God  and  at  his  disposal.  I  know  that  he  directs 
all  things  in  infinite  wisdom,  and  not  a  hair  of 
my  head  will  he  suffer  to  fall  to  the  ground 
without  his  notice  and  permission.  He  causeth 


WEAKNESS.  99 

all  things  to  work  together  for  good  to  those 
who  love  him. 

Sunday,  May  9th.  I  have  sat  down  to  write 
a  few  lines,  but  feel  badly,  and  my  thoughts  are 
confused.  I  have  had  some  views  and  thoughts 
to-day  which  I  want  to  note  down,  but  I  can  not 
think  of  any  thing  I  wish.  "  It  is  the  Lord,  let 
him  do  what  seemeth  him  good." 

Wednesday,  12th.  Many  are  the  blessings 
with  which  my  pathway  is  strown.  My  mercies 
are  new  every  morning,  fresh  every  evening, 
and  repeated  every  moment  of  my  life.  Alas  ! 
what  returns  have  I  made  for  all  these  favors  ? 
My  poor  attempts  at  serving  God  have  been 
unsuccessful,  and  I  have  come  far  short  of  my 
duty.  If  I  know  my  own  heart,  I  do  indeed 
desire  to  serve  him;  to  be  filled  with  higher 
and  holier  aspirations ;  to  have  my  affections 
entirely  weaned  from  this  world,  and  fixed  on 
my  heavenly  home.  It  is  true  that  I  sometimes 
have  close  and  intimate  communion  with  God  in 
prayer ;  that  I  feel  his  presence  in  my  heart  to 
bless ;  but  this  state  is  not  constant  and  abiding 
as  I  would  have  it.  I  am  too  easily  led  astray. 
I  often  yield  to  the  suggestions  of  Satan,  even 
before  I  am  aware  of  his  temptations.  I  am  not 
mindful  to  keep  a  constant  watch,  remembering 
that  the  adversary  is  going  to  and  fro  in  the 


100  THE     SISTEES. 

earth,  and  walking  up  and  down  in  it,  constantly 
drawing  the  feet  of  the  unwary  into  his  net. 
Oh !  how  we  should  shun  and  resist  him,  even 
unto  death.  I  find  that  he  is  often  tempting 
me  to  murmur  at  the  dealings  of  Providence, 
but  I  would  say  to  every  rebellious  thought,  be 
still,  and  know  that  "  God  doeth  all  things 
well.77 

When  I  look  abroad  upon  Nature,  which  is  so 
lovely,  I  can  hardly  help  longing  to  go  out  and 
enjoy  its  beauties.  May  I  not  forget  to  look 
away  with  the  eye  of  faith  "  from  Nature  up  to 
Nature's  God,77  and  be  ever  mindful  of  him  who 
is  strewing,  with  a  bountiful  hand,  so  many 
rich  gifts  in  my  pathway.  May  I  acknowledge 
him  in  all  my  way,  and  may  he  direct  my  steps. 

Sunday,  16th.  The  sky  has  been  for  four 
days  overcast  with  thick  clouds,  and  the  earth 
has  been  refreshed  with  plentiful  showers  of 
rain.  This  afternoon  the  clouds  have  been  dis- 
persed, and  now  the  sun  is  giving  out  his  genial 
beams,  and  all  nature  seems  to  rejoice.  How 
lovely  every  thing  is,  as  it  shows  the  handiwork 
of  God !  It  seems  to  me  that  the  world  was 
never  so  beautiful  before.  Every  leaf,  every 
blade  of  grass  seems  to  say,  "  None  but  God 
could  make  me.77  Had  sin  never  entered  into 
this  world,  what  a  paradise  it  would  have  been. 


LAST   WORDS   OF   HER    DIARY.  101 

Thursday,  May  20th,  1852.  I  have  suffered 
a  good  deal  of  pain  for  a  few  days,  but  have  not 
borne  it  with  that  patience  and  resignation 
which  I  ought.  Doctor  came  in  to  see  me  this 
morning,  and  gave  me  some  new  medicine ; 
what  a  kind  physician  and  friend  he  is.  He 
told  me  that  he  and  his  wife  expect  to  see  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  W.  next  week.  Oh,  how  I  wish  I 
could  see  them !  I  have  been  uneasy  for  two 
or  three  days  because  I  don't  hear  from  them. 
I  believe  there  is  nothing  earthly  in  which  I 
should  so  much  delight  as  seeing  them,  to  sit 
down  and  have  such  a  nice  talk  as  we  used  to 
have. 

July 


The  night  after  I  last- 


These  were  her  last  written  words.  The  sen- 
tence was  left  unfinished,' — the  few  words  show- 
ing a  feeble,  tremulous  hand,  which  absolutely 
refused  to  do  its  office  further.  What  she 
designed  to  say,  undoubtedly,  was,  that  during 
the  night  after  the  preceding  entry  had  been 
made,  she  was  suddenly  attacked  with  hemor- 
rhage of  the  lungs,  by  which  she  was  reduced 
to  a  state  of  great  weakness.  The  record  of  her 
feelings  under  this  surprise  we  can  not  supply. 
That  they  were  peaceful  and  composed,  can  not 


102  THE   SISTERS. 

be  doubted.      It  was   her  Father's  call;   why 
should  she  fear? 

The  journal  is  finished,  —  her  work  is  done  ! 
A  few  more  days  of  suffering,  —  a  few  more  of 
patient  waiting,  and  she  will  be  taken  home. 


WAITING.  103 


CHAPTEE  VI. 

Elizabeth's  journal  of  the  last  hours — The  dying  scene  —The  funeral. 

"  Where  on  thy  kindly  pinions  tarriest  thou, 

O  soft  celestial  breath, 
Sent  to  my  spirit  from  the  Infinite,  — 
Why  should  I  call  thee  —  Death  ? 

"  On  my  white  couch  all  day  I  wait  for  thee, 

And  through  the  dewy  night ; 
Hath  he  commissioned  thee  to  wing  so  slow 
And  calm  thy  solemn  flight  ? 

'**  Should  I  repine  while  here  in  arms  I  love 

Just  under  heaven's  bright  gate, 
Until  the  angel  of  the  Lord  come  down, 
A  little  while  I  wait  ?  " 

So  sang  another  youthful  pilgrim,  a  "  child  of 
genius  and  of  song/7  *  as  she  drew  near  the 
goal  of  life,  —  chiding  the  delay  of  that  messen- 
ger which  should  bear  her  away  to  rest.  It  was 
thus,  with  meek  resignation  and  joyous  hope, 

*  MARY  E.  HUBBELL,  a  native,  also,  of  Mt  Carmel,  born  a  few  rods 
distant  from  the  home  of  Abbie,  and  two  years  younger  than  she.  She 
was  daughter  of  Rev.  S.  Hubbell,  formerly  pastor  of  the  parish. 


104  THE   SISTEES. 

that  our  Abbie  waited,  through  the  bright  weeks 
of  early  summer,  until  her  "  change  "  should 
come.  Whatever  of  conflict  there  had  been  in 
her  bosom  at  the  thought  of  relinquishing  her 
deeply  cherished  plans  of  self-improvement  and 
of  usefulness  was  now  past.  It  was  her  com- 
fort, almost  daily  and  hourly  repeated,  that  her 
"  Father  "  was  doing  all  things  well.  The  dis- 
tressing fears,  also,  which  had  once  so  filled  her 
horizon,  were  all  dissipated.  The  one  kind 
design  for  which,  apparently,  they  had  been 
permitted,' — to  teach  her  herself,  and  to  bring 
her  with  a  whole  heart  and  entire  faith  to  the 
Saviour,  had  been  accomplished.  We  have  seen 
how  often  and  how  earnestly  she  gave  her  "  all" 
to  him,  and  with  what  emphasis  she  declared 
that  she  did  and  would  trust  in  his  care  ;  and  he 
now  fulfilled  his  promises,  —  keeping  in  perfect 
peace  the  soul  that  stayed  itself  on  him. 
Though  suffering  often,  in  the  paroxysms  of 
her  disease,  beyond  all  power  of  utterance,  yet 
never  a  word  of  impatience  passed  her  lips, 
never  a  look  but  of  holy  submission  and  love 
sat  upon  her  countenance. 

Occasionally  she  had  strength  enough  to  ride, 
and,  if  not  too  much  fatigued,  enjoyed  it  much. 
She  was  an  ardent  lover  of  Nature,  and  her  eye 
drank  in,  with  great  delight,  the  beauty  of  the 


105 


scenery  about  her  home,  —  the  gray  old  cliff  of 
Carmel,  the  rounded  slopes  of  the  hills,  the  rich 
meadows  and  pastures,  and  the  long,  wood- 
covered  mountain  ranges  that  fringed  the  hori- 
zon in  the  distance.  Dear  they  all  were  for 
their  own  sakes  ;  dearer  as  the  work  of  her 
heavenly  Father;  dearest  of  all,  in  her  own 
words  of  faith,  "  as  pledges  of  brighter  glories 
in  the  heavenly  world." 

Once,  indeed,  there  was  a  temporary  hiding 
of  the  light.  Her  mother,  who  watched  by  her 
bed,  perceived  her  silently  weeping,  and  on 
inquiry  found  that  she  was  giving  way  to  that 
thought  which  will  arise  often  in  every  mind, 
What  if,  after  all,  I  am  deceived,  —  what  if  the 
Saviour  is  not  mine !  The  very  suggestion 
plunged  her  into  grief  which,  in  her  enfeebled 
state,  she  could  not  restrain.  Just  then  Eliza- 
beth entered  the  room  with  a  Bible  in  her  hand. 
Mrs.  D.  said,  "  Haven't  you  got  something  there 
to  comfort  Abbie  ? "  She  came  and  sat  down 
by  the  bedside,  and  read  to  her  many  of  the 
sweet  promises  of  God's  word ;  especially  this, 
which  greatly  relieved  her,  "  Fear  not,  for  I  have 
redeemed  thee,  I  have  called  thee  ~by  my  name;  thou 
art  mine.  When  thou  passest  through  the  waters,  I 
ivill  be  with  thee ;  and  through  the  rivers,  they  shall 
not  overflow  thee ;  when  thou  ivalkest  through  the 


106  THE     SISTERS. 

fire,  tJiou  shalt  not  be  burned;  neither  shaU  the  flame 
kindle  upon  thee."  The  cloud  which  had  for  a 
moment  overshadowed  her  was  dispelled  by 
these  soothing  words,  and  never  returned  again. 
She  walked  henceforth,  during  the  few  days 
that  remained,  "in  the  light  of  his  counte- 
nance.'7 

The  occasion  was  one  of  interest  on  another 
account.  There  had  been  something  of  an 
instinctive  shrinking,  on  the  part  of  Elizabeth, 
from  speaking  with  Abbie  in  respect  to  her 
danger,  and  the  event  now  so  evidently  at  hand. 
The  idea  of  separation  had  been  too  painful  to 
be  allowed,  and  sisterly  fondness  had  almost 
beguiled  from  itself  the  sad  certainty  in  refusing 
to  think  of  it.  But  from  this  time  the  reserve 
was  broken.  The  reading  of  the  promises  to 
Abbie  was  followed  by  a  free  and  tender  con- 
versation on  the  subject,  and  ever  after,  the  sis- 
ters, with  the  other  members  of  the  family, 
spoke  and  wrote  of  it  with  entire  freedom, 
enjoying  much  communion  of  spirit,  and  mu- 
tually strengthening  and  being  strengthened  for 
the  great  grief  which  was  so  fast  coming  on. 

ELIZABETH  TO  MRS.  W.  May  26' 

DEAR  MRS.  W. :  —  For  four  or  five  weeks 
Abbie  has  seemed  to  be  failing,  although  she 


VISIT    OF   HER   FORMER   PASTOR.  107 

has  been  able  to  go  out  every  day  until  Friday, 
when  she  had  her  first  attack  of  hemorrhage, 
(from  the  Iungs7)  followed  by  others  in  every 
severe  fit  of  coughing,  for  several  days ;  conse- 
quently, she  is  much  reduced.  "We  hoped  when 
this  was  checked  that  she  would  begin  to  revive, 
but,  instead  of  it,  her  strength  seems  to  be  fail- 
ing, and  we  very  much  fear  that  her  stay  here 
is  nearly  finished.  She  seems  fully  aware  of 
her  situation  and  entirely  resigned ;  indeed, 
from  the  first  I  think  she  has  not  had  a  desire  to 
recover.  We  have  such  a  glorious  hope  that 
she  is  prepared  to  dwell  in  a  far  better  home, 
that  it  seems  selfish  to  mourn,  though  it  is  — 
oh  1  so  hard  to  part. 

LIZZIE 

Abbie  had  expressed  a  very  earnest  desire  to 
see  once  more  her  former  pastor  and  his  wife. 
We  hastened,  accordingly,  to  Mount  Carmel. 
As  we  entered  the  room,  and  beheld  her  ema- 
ciated form  and  sunken  cheek,  we  saw  indeed 
that  the  spoiler  was  there,  while  the  bright  glad- 
ness of  the  eye,  and  the  eager  grasp  of  the 
hand  told  us  that  his  power  was  upon  the  poor 
body  only,  —  it  could  not  reach  the  heart.  Her 
cough  was  so  incessant  that  she  could  not  talk 
much.  As  we  spoke  of  the  Christian's  hope, 


108  THE     SISTERS. 

and  of  the  blest  home  awaiting  him  in  the 
"  many  mansions/'  it  needed  not  words  to  tell 
how  precious  that  hope  to  her.  The  smile  on 
her  speaking  face,  the  sweet  serenity  that  sat 
on  her  brow,  the  few  low  spoken  utterances 
which  her  weakness  would  permit,  revealed  a 
joy  and  peace  "  passing  all  understanding.7' 
And  when  we  knelt  in  prayer  around  her  bed, 
we  felt  that  there  was  little  to  ask  for,  but  the 
words  fashioned  themselves  spontaneously  into 
thanksgivings  for  the  grace  which  had  been 
given  to  our  loved  one,  and  which  was  now 
lighting  the  dark  valley  with  the  glory  of 
heaven  begun. 

One  night  her  mother,  who  slept  by  her  side, 
was  awakened  by  the  voice  of  the  sufferer  as  if 
speaking  to  herself.  She  lay  and  listened.  It 
was  the  voice  of  faith  and  hope  repeating  those  . 
words  of  triumph  which  have  been  the  song  of 
so  many  of  God's  faithful  ones  in  death :  — 

"  I  have  fought  a  good  fight,  I  have  finished 
my  course,  I  have  kept  the  faith ; 

"  Henceforth  there  is  laid  up  for  me  a  crown 
of  righteousness,  which  the  Lord,  the  righteous 
Judge,  shall  give  me  at  that  day ;  and  not  to 
me  only,  but  unto  all  them,  also,  that  love  his 
appearing." 

51 


INSIDIOUS   DISEASE.  109 

June  5. 

DEAR  MRS.  W. :  —  We  think  your  little  flying 
visit  was  very  beneficial  to  Abbie,  for  she  has 
been  improving  since  that  time,  and  this  morn- 
ing has  been  sitting  up  two  hours.  Her  cough 
is  not  quite  as  tedious  as  it  has  been,  and,  were 
it  not  for  our  apprehensions  of  renewed  hemor- 
rhage, I  should  almost  hope,  even  now,  that  she 
might  recover.  She  has  been  feeding  on  fond 
recollection  ever  since  you  left.  She  has  been 
eating  one  of  the  oranges  you  gave  her,  and 
thinks  it  "  a  little  better  "  than  any  she  has  had. 
It  is  such  a  consolation  to  have  her  so  perfectly 
resigned  and  happy,  and  it  seems  as  if  we  could 
hardly  be  grateful  enough. 

LIZZIE. 

For  a  time  the  favorable  symptoms  continued, 
and,  but  for  the  insidious  nature  of  her  disease, 
there  might  seem  to  have  been  some  real 
grounds  to  hope  for  her  restoration.  But  the 
seeming,  alas !  was  brief.  July  20th  Elizabeth 
wrote  to  Mrs.  W. — 

"  The  doctor  told  us,  about  a  week  since,  that 
her  disease  was  gaining  ground,  and  he  thought 
it  vain  to  hope  for  a  favorable  change,  since 
every  thing  has  been  tried  with  no  beneficial 
result.  Her  countenance  is  still  natural,  but 


110  THE   SISTERS. 

she  is  much  thinner  than  when  you  were  here. 
Rev.  Mr.  Cowles  called  this  morning,  with  his 
wife,  to  see  us,  and  it  really  seemed  refreshing. 
Oh,  how  much  we  feel  the  need  of  a  pastor's 
sympathy  and  prayers  ! " 

It  was  during  this  visit  of  Mr.  Cowles  that  it 
first  became  known  that  Abbie  had  kept  a  pri- 
vate journal.  Some  inquiry  of  his  drew  from 
her  a  disclosure  of  the  fact,  and  it  was  in  con- 
sequence of  his  representations  that  she  was 
induced  to  change  her  purpose  of  destroying  it, 
and  permit  it  to  be  retained  by  the  family. 

It  can  be  imagined  with  what  delight  the  dear 
pages  were  perused.  It  became  the  special 
solace  of  the  weary  night-watchings  for  the 
mother  and  sisters,  and  greatly  aided  in  furnish- 
ing those  resources  of  comfort  by  which  their 
hearts  were  fortified  against  the  sore  bereave- 
ment. 

Upon  the  sisters,  especially,  did  it  produce  a 
marked  impression.  It  disclosed  to  them  the 
secret  springs  of  that  hope  which  so  brightened 
their  sick  room,  —  the  habits  of  self-communion 
and  self-discipline,  of  prayer,  and  meditation, 
and  repeated  consecrations  to  God,  which  had 
wrought  out  this  maturity  of  piety.  An  exam- 
ple so  commended  to  them,  it  was  most  natural 
to  follow.  Both  of  them  commenced  at  that 


ELIZABETH'S  JOURNAL  BEGUN.  Ill 

time  similar  journals  of  their  own,  which  they 
continued,  with  equal  fidelity  and  interest,  till 
they,  too,  laid  down  their  pens  to  follow  her  to 
rest.  It  will  be  our  rare  privilege  to  read  the 
record  of  the  last  hours,  as  it  was  written  during 
those  hours,  by  a  sister's  hand,  and  hallowed  by 
a  sister's  tears  of  mingled  anguish  and  joy. 

ELIZABETH  S    JOURNAL. 

Hamden,  August  1,  1852. 

Believing  that  my  darling  sister  Abbie's  un- 
cojnmon  growth  in  grace  has  been  greatly 
assisted  by  keeping  a  journal  of  her  experience, 
and  earnestly  desiring  to  do  what  I  can  to  fill 
the  vacant  place  which  will  soon  be  made  by  her 
death  in  our  family  circle,  and  in  the  church  of 
God,  I  have  resolved  to  pursue  the  same  course 
which  has  been  so  greatly  blessed  to  her,  pray- 
ing that  the  richest  blessings  of  Abbie's  God 
may  rest  upon  it. 

It  is  the  close  of  another  holy  Sabbath.  I 
have  not  attended  church,  on  account  of  Abbie's 
feeble  state  ;  but  methinks  the  day  has  not  been 
wholly  lost,  for  in  the  retirement  of  my  closet, 
I  have  had  sweet  communion  with  my  heavenly 
Father,  and  never  before  has  his  holy  word 
seemed  so  precious.  Am  sitting  up  for  a  few 


112  THE   SISTERS. 

hours  with,  my  dear  sister,  that  'nra,  who  is  worn 
down  by  protracted  watchings,  may  get  a  little 
undisturbed  repose.  How  grateful  ought  we  to 
be  that,  although  the  Lord  is  grievously  afflict- 
ing us,  he  is  still  mingling  many  mercies  with  his 
chastisements.  Strange  that  we  can  be  so  un- 
grateful as  to  murmur  and  repine  at  his  dealings, 
when  we  so  well  know  that  this  affliction  is  sent 
in  infinite  love.  I  think  I  can  already  say  that 
it  has  been  sanctified  to  me,  for  never  before 
have  I  enjoyed  so  much  of  my  Saviour's  pres- 
ence, as  for  a  few  days  past.  Abbie's  pilgrim- 
age seems  almost  finished ;  her  work  is  all  done, 
and  well  done,  and  she  is  only  waiting  for  her 
summons  home.  It  seems  selfish  to  mourn  for 
her,  for  we  know  that  she  will  be  infinitely 
happier  with  her  Saviour.  In  his  arms  she  longs 
to  repose,  safe  from  all  the  snares  and  tempta- 
tions of  the  world.  0  Lord,  prepare  us  for  this 
sad  bereavement;  be  with  us  in  the  hour  of 
trial;  be  her  stay  and  her  staff  as  she  passes 
through  the  dark  valley,  and  give  her  a  peaceful 
and  triumphant  entrance  into  thy  rest. 

2d.  Dear  sister  Abbie — her  sufferings  must  be 
nearly  ended !  How  selfish  to  desire  her  con- 
tinuance here  in  such  agony  of  body  as  she  has 
to-day  experienced,  when  she  longs  to  fly  away 
and  be  at  rest.  We  thought  this  morning  that 


THE   LAST    HOURS.  113 

she  could  scarcely  continue  through  the  day, 
but  for  some  wise  purpose  her  life  is  still  spared. 
She  has  expressed  very  strong  desire  to  see 

brother  E once  more,  but  this  morning  said 

that  she  did  not  expect  to  live  until  his  return. 
I  rather  thoughtlessly  told  her  that  the  doctor 
thought  she  might  possibly  continue  through 
the  week,  though  he  did  not  expect  it.  She 
instantly  burst  into  tears,  saying,  "  How  can  I  ? 
How  could  doctor  say  so?'7  Dear  child,  how 
she  longs  to  be  with  her  Saviour !  Sometimes 
almost  impatient  to  be  gone.  I  can  not  be  suffi- 
ciently thankful  that  I  have  had  the  privilege  to 
spend  my  whole  time,  for  the  last  six  or  seven 
weeks,  by  her  bed-side.  Seldom  has  a  murmur 
escaped  her  lips,  and  yet,  she  is  daily  mourning 
her  impatience.  Death  seems  deprived  of  all 
its  terrors,  and  she  can  look  it  in  the  face,  and 
talk  about  it  with  as  much  composure  as  any 
common  incident  of  every-day  life.  It  seems  to 
afflict  her  greatly  to  see  us  indulging  our  grief, 
and  in  most  cases,  I  have  been  able  to  control 
my  feelings  in  her  presence  ;  but  when  I  think 
what  a  precious  treasure  we  are  about  to  lose- 
precious  in  more  ways  than  one  to  every  member 
of  our  family  circle — -wishes  that  God  would 
spare  us  this  blow,  amounting  almost  to  rebellion, 
sometimes  arise  in  my  mind.  Yet  I  would  not, 


114  THE    SISTERS. 

for  worlds,  were  it  possible,  take  upon  myself 
the  responsibility  of  saying,  Sister,  live.  If  E. 
were  only  here,  one  bitter  ingredient  in  our  cup 
of  sorrow  would  be  removed  —  for  I  know  that 
she  longs  to  see  him,  and  at  the  same  time  it 
would  be  a  relief  to  him  to  weep  with  us.  Have 
been  with  father  to  select  a  burial-place  for  her. 
It  was  a  sad  duty,  and  yet  God  sustained  me, 
not,  however,  without  many  bitter  tears. 

3d.  Abbie  had  a  very  distressed  night,  and  it 
seems  almost  impossible  that  she  can  see  another. 
She  seems  impatient  to  be  gone,  and  says,  "  Oh, 
if  I  could  only  go  home  ! "  A  little  later,  in 
speaking  of  E.,  she  says,  "  I  do  n't  expect  to  see 
him  again,  but  I  don't  know,  for  it  takes  so  long." 
This  morning  -she  wished  to  have  the  children 
called,  that  she  might  give  them  some  little 
mementoes  of  her  affection.  She  accompanied 
each  gift  with  a  few  parting  words,  and  a  fare- 
well kiss.  About  noon  we  thought  her  dying, 
and  called  in  the  family  to  see  her  breathe  her 
last.  Such  distress  I  had  never  before  dreamed 
of,  and  we  prayed — Oh,  how  earnestly!  that 
she  might  be  released  from  her  sufferings,  but 
God  had  some  wise  purpose  in  continuing  her 
life.  She  said,  on  being  asked,  that  Christ  was 
still  precious.  She  several  times  gasped  for 
breath,  and  we  doubted  not  all  would  soon  be 


THE   LAST   HOUES.  115 

.over;  but  after  about* an  hour  of  intense  suffer- 
ing, she  found  some  relief,  and  about  four  o'clock 
seemed  much  revived.  Oh,  the  delightful  hours 
we  then  enjoyed  !  A  heavenly  smile  lighted  up 
her  features,  and  sweet  peace  and  serenity 
dwelt  upon  her  countenance.  I  could  not 
refrain  from  asking  her  if  she  felt  very  happy, 
to  which  she  answered,  "Yes."  How  can  I  ever 
thank  God  enough  for  those  precious  hours  ! 

About  nine  o'clock  our  many  prayers  were 
answered  in  E.'s  return.  When  told  of  his 
arrival,  Abbie  said,  "  Has  he  come  ?  Where  is 
he  ?  "  He  immediately  went  to  her  room,  and 
desired  that  they  might  be  left  alone  for  a  little 
season.  Abbie  was  able  to  converse  with  him, 
and  the  benefit  of  those  moments  to  the  interests 
of  his  soul,  will  never,  I  trust,  be  lost. 

Her  room  has,  this  afternoon,  seemed  like  a 
little  heaven  on  earth.  She  spoke  little,  but 
words  were  needless,  her  countenance  spoke 
volumes.  Until  midnight  she  rested  very 
quietly;  more  so  than  for  several  previous 
nights,  but  she  then  complained  of  coldness  in 
her  extremities,  and  asked  if  'ma  had  been  put- 
ting ice  in  the  bed.  After  bathing  and  rubbing 
them,  wrapping  them  in  warm  flannels,  etc.,  she 
is  again  (one  o'clock)  sleeping.  She  said  this 
evening,  "I  don't  get  away  very  fast,  do  I,  'ma?" 


116  THE   SISTERS. 

I  have  just  heard  her  say  ing,  "  Oh,  if  I  could 
only  go  to  sleep  and  never  wake  again !77 

4th.  Abbie  has  had  a  more  comfortable  day 
than  we  anticipated,  and  we  have  enjoyed  it  so 
much  that  we  feel  very  grateful.  She  has  slept 
a  good  part  of  the  day,  and  we  have  w^atched 
her  very  closely,  thinking  she  might  depart  in 
sleep.  The  doctor  has  called  and  says  he  should 
not  be  surprised  if  she  should  finish  her  course 
before  morning,  but  she  may  continue  for  several 
days ;  and  he  thinks  it  quite  probable  that  she 
may  have  more  of  those  distressing  pains  she 
experienced  yesterday.  This  morning  I  found 
it  impossible  to  control  my  feelings,  and  Abbie 
looking  intently  in  my  face,  asked  what  was 
the  matter;  had  she  said  or  done  anything 
wrong?  To  which  I  replied,  "  Oh,  no  !  but  it  is 
so  hard  to  part."  She  said,  "  I  know  it  is  hard, 
but  my  sufferings  have  been  very  great.77  This 
afternoon  ?ma  asked  her  if  she  was  waiting  and 
longing  to  go.  She  replied,  "  Oh,  yes,  but  E.  and 
E.  feel  so  badly  that  it  makes  it  hard.77  Why 
should  we  not  sorrow,  for  if  we  were  ever  con- 
verted, she  was  the  happy  instrument  in  both 
instances.  Oh,  what  a  glorious  crown  awaits 
her !  No  wonder  she  longs  to  wear  it.  What 
will  eternity  reveal  for  her !  Many,  I  believe, 
will  rise  up  and  call  her  blessed. 


THE   LAST    HOURS.  117 

5th.  Our  heavenly  Father  has  graciously 
spared  the  life  of  our  dear  Abbie  another  day. 
Yet  I  know  she  desires  rather  to  depart  and  be 
with  her  Saviour.  Her  impatience  to  be  gone, 
however,  seems  entirely  over,  and  she  is  ready 
now  to  say,  "  Not  my  will,  but  thine  be  done." 
How  many  mercies  our  Father  is  mingling  with 
our  cup  of  sorrow !  It  is  not  a  bitter  cup, 
although  it  sometimes  seems  hard  to  think  we 
must  be  separated ;  but  he  knows  how  to  temper 
the  wind  to  the  shorn  lamb ;  how  to  bind  up  the 
broken  heart.  Who  that  is  permitted  to  witness 
the  heavenly  smile  her  face  constantly  wears, 
could  wish  it  otherwise  ?  It  seems  lighted  up 
with  a  holy  joy,  such  as  earth  can  not  afford  — 
serene  and  peaceful  as  a  summer  evening.  She 
has  conversed  more  this  afternoon  than  for 
several  days  past  —  asked  where  the  family 
would  sit  at  her  funeral,  and  said  she  had 
thought  she  should  like  flowers  in  her  coffin, 
with  perfect  composure.  Surely  her  faith  must 
be  built  upon  the  Rock  of  Ages.  How  consoling 
it  will  be  after  her  departure,  to  look  back  upon 
these  delightful  days.  God  knew  what  was  best 
in  that  paroxysm  of  pain,  and  it  seems  to  me 
that  I  can  always  trust  him  henceforth  to  do  just 
what  seemeth  good  in  his  sight.  I  feel  now 
as  if  I  could  give  Abbie  up  without  a  murmur, 


118  THE     SISTERS. 

for  God  has  been  so  gracious,  and  has  dealt  so 
gently  with  us  for  the  last  two  days.  "  Bless 
the  Lord,  0  my  soul,  and  all  that  is  within  me 
bless  his  holy  name." 

6th.  This  has  been  to  Abbie  a  day  of  suffering. 
Last  night  we  were  obliged  to  give  her  opiates, 
and  to-day  she  has  been  quite  stupid  from  their 
effects.  Her  mind  has  been  rather  wandering  all 
day,  but  this  afternoon  she  has  slept  less,  and 
suffered  more  from  delirium.  Early  in  the 
morning  she  called  F.  in  from  another  room  to 
change  the  water  in  her  vases  of  flowers,  and 
soon  after  said,  "  Beautiful  flowers  !  but  I  am 
going  where  flowers  will  never  fade."  As  I  wras 
sitting  beside  her  this  afternoon,  she  wiped  the 
tears  from  my  face,  and  said,  "  I  love  you  —  it  is 
hard  to  part/7  and  asked  me  to  lie  down  by  her 
side,  when  she  threw  her  arms  around  me  and 
drew  me  close  to  her.  She  has,  during  the  day, 
frequently  asked  to  kiss  us,  and  seems  even 
more  affectionate  than  ever.  We  had  hoped  her 
mind  would  continue  unclouded  to  the  last,  but 
God  has  ordered  it  otherwise.  After  saying 
something  which  she  imagined  might  make  me 
feel  unpleasantly,  she  said,  "  How  could  I  say 
that,  it  makes  E.  cry  so."  She  has  slept  most 
of  the  night  thus  far  (twelve  o' clock),  but  when 
awake  seems  no  more  rational.  It  is  very  trying 


THE   LAST   HOURS.  119 

to  see  her  suffer  so  intensely,  while  we  know 
we  can  do  nothing  to  afford  any  relief.  She 
said,  this  afternoon,  in  a  lucid  moment,  "  I  sup- 
pose the  body  can  not  be  kept  long/7  thinking, 
doubtless,  that  we  may  not  have  time  to  procure 
flowers  for  her  coffin.  'Ma  had  previously  told 
her  we  would  get  some  from  New  Haven.  How 
dearly  she  loves  them ! 

7th.  This  has  been  decidedly  the  most 
distressful  day  Abbie  has  yet  experienced ; 
distressful  to  her  friends,  although  I  doubt 
whether  she  is  fully  conscious  of  her  sufferings. 
Her  delirium  greatly  increased  during  the  latter 
part  of  the  night,  but  for  a  few  moments  early 
this  morning,  she  appeared  rational,  and  at- 
tempted to  repeat  the  words,  "  0  death,  where 
is  thy  sting !  0  grave,  where  is  thy  victory ! 
thanks  be  to  God  who  giveth  us  the  victory 
through  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ."  About  eight 
o'clock,  she  was  very  delirious,  and  it  was  with, 
great  difficulty  we  could  keep  her  on  the  bed, 
although  she  had  not  before  had  strength  to 
move.  She  begged  us  to  take  her  off,  and  said 
she  would  get  off.  We  finally  pacified  her  by 
lifting  her  on  the  sheet,  and  when  we  laid  her 
back,  she  seemed  quite  exhausted,  and  fell 
asleep.  In  the  evening,  she  twice  repeated  the 


120  THE     SISTERS. 

words,  "  Thanks  be  to  God  who  giveth  us  the 
victory  through  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ.77 

8th.  Sabbath  —  Poor  Abbie's  mind  seems 
completely  worn  out ;  and  shattered  to  pieces. 
She  has  many  times  to-day,  attempted  to  say 
something  to  us,  but  has  been  obliged  to  stop 
and  seemed  trying  to  collect  her  thoughts,  but 
all  in  vain.  It  is  affecting  to  see  her  with  eyes 
fixed  on  the  wall,  and  mouth  partly  open  in  such 
a  deep  study,  and  then  have  to  give  over  with, 
"  I  can't  think.77  Early  this  morning  she  en- 
deavored to  repeat  the  hymn  "  Rock  of  Ages/7 
but  could  recall  only  two  lines.  I  finished  it  for 
her,  and  at  the  end  of  the  first  verse,  she  re- 
peated three  times,  "  make  me  pure.77  This  is 
doubtless  the  last  Sabbath  she  will  spend  on 
earth,  and  before  the  dawn  of  another,  she  will 
be  purified  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb,  which  is 
able  to  cleanse  from  all  sin. 

9th.  Abbie  has  been  a  little  more  comfortable 
to-day;  her  intellect,  however,  seems  entirely 
wasted.  If  intellectual  attainments  are  to  be- 
nefit us  only  during  our  brief  sojourn  here,  they 
too  are  but  vanity.  Abbie  has  always  mani- 
fested a  strong  desire  to  improve  her  mental 
powers,  and  when  opportunity  presented,  has 
toiled  early  and  late,  to  secure  the  desired 
object ;  and  when  her  spirit  shall  be  loosed  from 


£  THE   LAST   HOURS.  121 

her  poor  suffering  body,  we  hope  she  may  drink 
in  streams  of  intellectual  enjoyment,  such  as 
earth  knows  not,  and  of  which  the  wisest  of 
earth's  millions  have  never  dreamed.  She  seems 
so  passive  and  so  much  like  a  little  infant,  that 
we  can  but  say,  "how  has  the  strong  one  fallen  1" 
Doctor  called  this  evening,  and  he  says  he  can 
not  see  what  has  sustained  life  so  long;  for  more 
than  a  week,  we  have  been  expecting  every 
night  and  day  —  almost  every  hour,  would  be 
her  last ;  and  yet  she  lingers  on,  in  intense 
suffering.  Oh,  what  a  glorious  change  will  she 
experience,  when  the  bonds  which  fasten  her 
here  shall  be  dissolved,  and  she  shall  be  wel- 
comed to  her  Saviour's  presence  ! 

10th.  Abbie  was  comparatively  comfortable 
for  a  few  hours  this  morning,  and  wished  to  be 
taken  to  the  window,  where  she  could  see  the 
flowers.  We  moved  her  bed  and  raised  her  so 
that  she  might  look  out.  She  seemed  highly 
gratified,  and  talked  about  the  different  varieties  ; 
then,  after  resting  awhile,  wished  to  be  raised 
again.  She  has  been  in  possession  of  her  reason 
through  the  whole  day,  though  occasional  signs 
of  weakened  intellect  have  been  manifested.  I 
brought  in  a  fresh  bouquet  for  her  about  noon, 
which  she  attentively  examined,  asking  the 
names  of  the  different  flowers,  seeming  not  to 


122  THE     SISTERS.  ** 

remember  them  herself.  She  has  been  very 
quiet  during  the  night  to  the  present  time  (two 
o'clock),  though  not  entirely  rational.  At  one 
time  she  called,  "  Sister  E.,  do  come  and  stay 
with  me."  I  told  her  I  was  sitting  by  her  and 
holding  her  hand.  She  replied,  "  I  thought  it  was 
somebody  else — Oh  !  I  am  so  glad."  At  another 
time  she  pointed  to  the  wall,  and  said,  "  Beauti- 
ful—  beautiful —  I  am  going  to  get  it  for  sister 
E./7  and  stretched  out  both  hands  to  grasp  it. 
She  then  clasped  both  arms  around  my  neck, 
and  drew  me  down  to  her  face  and  kissed  me 
repeatedly,  saying,  "  How  I  do  love  you  !  "  In 
one  of  her  coughing  fits,  she  several  times  said, 
"  Oh,  my  mother  !  "  but  her  mother  could  afford 
no  relief.  In  all  her  pains  and  trials,  she  seems 
patient  as  a  lamb,  and  perfectly  resigned.  This 
afternoon  she  said,  "  Oh,  if  I  could  only  die  !  but 
it  seems  so  hard."  ?Ma  replied  that  she  could 
not  stay  much  longer,  and  she  seemed  quite 
relieved.  Not  a  murmur  has  escaped  her  lips 
for  many  days,  amid  all  her  great  suffering,  but 
patience  seems  indeed  to  have  had  its  perfect 
work.  Two  or  three  weeks  since  she  could 
not  endure  the  thought  of  staying,  but  now  she 
seems  willing  to  wait  her  Master's  call.  She  is 
so  pleasant,  so  affectionate,  that  it  is  hard  to  give 
her  up.  May  we  all  be  prepared  to  say,  "  Even 


DEATH.  123 

so,  Father ;  "  and  to  kiss  the  rod  with  which  he 
chastiseth  us. 

Wednesday  morn,  August  11.  Precious,  pre- 
cious sister,  her  trials  are  over  —  her  sufferings 
are  ended !  How  can  we  ever  be  sufficiently 
grateful  that  there  is  a  world  beyond  this  vale 
of  tears,  where  those  who  serve  their  Maker 
here  below,  shall  be  for  ever  blest ! 

Early  this  morning,  Abbie  asked  to  be  re- 
moved to  the  window,  that  she  might  once  more 
behold  the  works  of  God.  She  murmured  some- 
thing about  the  flowers  being  beautiful;  said, 
"beautiful — God  —  tree — "  but  could  not  con- 
nect her  words,  and  was  unable  to  articulate 
distinctly.  She  seemed  to  be  drinking  in  foun- 
tains of  inexhaustible  delight  in  those  few 
moments.  She  gazed  at  them  for  about  fifteen 
minutes,  and  then  we  laid  her  head  upon  the 
pillow.  Presently  she  fell  asleep,  and  after  a 
time  (a  little  before  eight  o'clock),  we  noticed  a 
change  in  her  breathing,  and  called  in  the  family. 
Her  respiration  continued  to  grow  less  and  less 
frequent,  until  it  finally  stopped,  and  she  slept  in 
Jesus.  Not  a  struggle  nor  a  groan,  not  the 
movement  of  a  muscle  indicated  the  change,  but 
pulsation  had  ceased,  the  wheels  of  life  stood 
still,  and  we  knew  that  she  was  dead.  Oh,  the 
blissful  change  she  then  experienced !  Our 


124  THE     SISTERS. 

many  prayers  are  answered ;  she  has  passed 
peacefully  through  the  dark  valley,  leaning  on 
the  arm  of  Jesus.  A  heavenly  smile  is  on  her  face, 
beautiful  in  death.  Her  shining  curls  fall  negli- 
gently about  her  neck,  and  never  before  have  I  • 
seen  her  so  lovely.  After  Abbie  had  been  look- 
ing at  the  flowers  for  the  last  time,  and  just 
before  she  fell  asleep,  her  face  seemed  lighted 
up  with  such  a  heavenly  radiance,  that  ?ma  asked 
her  if  she  felt  happy.  She  replied,  "  Yes,  happy, 
happy/7  and  these  were  her  last  words.  Yes,  she 
is  happy,  for  Jesus  has  promised  to  those  who 
love  him  a  seat  at  his  right  hand,  and  pleasures 
for  evermore.  Precious  promises !  precious 
Saviour  !  precious  hopes !  may  they  all  be  ours 
for  time  and  for  eternity. 

12th.  This  has  been,  indeed,  a  trying  day, 
yet  God  is  my  strength.  Let  rne  lean  upon  his 
almighty  arm  for  support,  and  he  will  bear  me 
through  the  furnace  of  affliction.  Let  me  say 
to  my  rebellious  heart,  Peace,  be  still,  for  thou, 
Lord,  didst  it.  Thanks  to  his  holy  name,  I  can 
say,  "  The  Lord  gave,  and  the  Lord  hath  taken 
away ;  blessed  be  the  name  of  the  Lord.77 

I  humbly  trust  that  my  Saviour  is  sanctifying 
this  affliction  to  my  soul,  for  never  before  have 
I  had  such  sweet  seasons  of  communion  with 
him  ;  yet  I  fear,  Oh,  how  much,  that,  when  the 


FUNERAL.  125 

excitement  is  past,  I  shall  return  to  my  old  care- 
less habits  again.  How  can  I  endure  the  thought 
of  again  becoming  so  cold  and  indifferent,  and 
loving  this  vain  world  so  well.  Blessed  Ee- 
•deemer,  help  me  to  wean  my  affections  from  all 
things  else,  and  to  place  them  supremely  upon 
thee.  Take  whatever  course  thou  wilt,  give 
me  poverty,  sickness  and  bereavement,  but 
deny  me  not  an  inheritance  in  thy  kingdom. 
Help  me  to  follow  the  example  of  the  dear 
departed,  as  she  endeavored  to  follow  the  teach- 
ings of  her  Saviour.  How  many  times  to-day 
I  have  been  to  gaze  on  that  lovely  countenance, 
radiant  in  death  with  such  a  smile  as  none  but 
angels  wear!  How  can  we  wish  her  back  in 
this  world  of  sorrow  and  suffering,  when  she 
has  been  permitted  to  pass  so  gently  through 
the  cold,  swelling  tide  of  Jordan  !  Thanks,  in- 
deed, be  unto  God,  who  gave  her  the  victory, 
and  thanks  to  his  holy  name  for  his  comforting 
assurance,  "  Blessed  are  the  dead  which  die  in 
the  Lord." 

13th.  Another  trying  day,  for  we  have  depos- 
ited all  that  is  mortal  of  our  treasure  in  the 
cold  grave,  and  left  her  there  to  her  last,  long 
sleep.  During  the  whole  morning  beautiful 
flowers  came  pouring  in ;  tributes  of  affection 
from  kind  friends.  May  God  reward  them  all 


126  THE    SISTERS. 

for  their  sympathy  and  love,  with  the  precious 
hope  that  cheered  dear  Abbie  in  her  dying 
hour.  Mrs.  P.  and  cousin  C.  arranged  the 
flowers  most  tastefully  in  the  coffin.  In  her 
hand  she  clasped  a  bunch  of  elegant  roses  and 
buds,  — •  a  gift  from  Miss  W.  The  lid  was  off, 
and  the  coffin  literally  filled  with  them.  How 
kind  every  body  is. 

I  have  received  a  very  kind  letter  from  cousin 
P.  this  evening.  It  seems  as  if  I  could  never 
thank  God  enough  for  giving  me  so  many  kind 
friends,  whose  sympathy  is  like  a  healing  balm. 
Rev.  Mr.  Cowles  said,  at  the  grave,  that  it  was 
precious  to  parents  to  know  that  a  child  already 
initiated  into  the  employments  of  heaven,  should 
be  waiting  to  welcome  them  home.  The  idea 
struck  me  forcibly  as  being  exceedingly  beauti- 
ful. How  many  precious  thoughts  are  con- 
nected with  the  memory  of  the  dead  1  It  seems 
as  if  the  grave  was  robbed  of  all  its  terrors,  for 
we  know  that  the  clay  alone  reposes  there. 

The  following  letter,  received  shortly  after 
from  the  Rev.  Mr.  Putnam,  narrates  the  funeral 
services  more  particularly. 

Whitneyville,  Friday,  Aug.  13,  1852. 
MY  DEAR   BROTHER,  —  I  have  just   returned 
from  the  funeral  of  Miss  Abbie  A.  Dickerman. 


LETTER   OF   REV.    MR.    PUTNAM.  127 

The  weather  was  delightful,  and  a  large  assem- 
bly was  present. 

It  was  a  most  affecting,  and  still,  a  most  inter- 
esting—  I  had  almost  said,  a  delightful  occasion. 
I  think  that  I  never  attended  any  other  'funeral 
which  was  so  free  from  every  thing  of  a  gloomy 
character.  A  light  from  heaven  seemed  to 
stream  down  on  the  lovely  corpse,  and  to  drive 
all  darkness  far  away. 

At  the  house  I  began  the  services  by  a  short 
prayer  for  the  divine  presence,  then  read  the 
twenty-third  Psalm,  made  a  short  address,  and 
offered  prayer.  After  which  we  sang  one  of 
her  favorite  hymns,  — 

"  I  love  to  steal  awhile  away  " 

then,  after  taking  our  last  look  of  the  face  of 
the  dead,  on  which  a  sweet  smile  seemed  to  lin- 
ger, we  repaired  to  the  grave,  where  the  Rev. 
Mr.  Cowles,  who  was  present,  officiated.  He 
made  some  very  interesting  and  appropriate  re- 
marks, suggested,  in  part,  by  some  personal 
recollections  of  the  deceased. 

I  have  not  time  to  write  more. 

Believe   me   to   be,  truly  and  affectionately, 

AUSTIN  PUTNAM. 


128  THE   SISTERS. 


CHAPTEE   VII. 

Influence  of  Abbie's  character  and  death  —  Elizabeth's  resolutions  — 
Visit  to  Plymouth  —  Re-opening  of  school  —  Prayers  and  labors  for 
her  pupils  —  Music  lessons  —  Death  of  her  grandmother, 

A  LIFE  and  death  like  that  which  we  have 
now  contemplated  could  not  but  exert  a  very 
great  influence  upon  the  surviving  members  of 
the  family.  It  was  a  rare  exhibition  of  the 
power  and  beauty  of  religion,  made  doubly 
effective  as  brought  into  the  bosom  of  their  own 
circle,  and  commended  to  them  by  one  most 
deeply  and  tenderly  loved.  From  this  time  it 
remained  with  them  as  an  invisible,  yet  ever 
felt  presence,  hallowing  their  home  with  precious 
memories,  and  pointing  to  the  bright  world  to 
which  they  were  now  linked  by  a  tie  so  sacred 
and  so  dear. 

To  Elizabeth,  especially,  the  present  was  a 
new  era  in  the  religious  life.  Her  outward 
character  had  indeed  been  exemplary,  and  she 
was  not,  it  is  believed,  without  some  true  expe- 
rience of  the  inward  power  of  Christ's  love. 
But  she  had  been  greatly  absorbed  in  her 


129 


studies  and  her  teaching,  and  did  not  seem  to 
have  so  wholly  subordinated  all  to  the  service 
of  Christ,  as  did  her  sister.  From  this  period 
onward,  however,  she  evinced  in  this  particular 
a  marked  change.  We  find  her,  after  Abbie's 
death,  sitting  very  solemnly  in  judgment  upon 
her  past  course,  and  entering  into  new  resolu- 
tions of  fidelity  to  herself  and  of  devotedness 
to  God.  Her  journal,  as  in  the  case  of  Abbie, 
will  be  henceforth  our  chief  guide  in  delineating 
the  progress  and  success  of  these  efforts. 

Aug.  20.  This  afternoon  I  have  been  reading 
in  dear  Abbie's  journal,  and,  I  hope,  have  been 
profited  by  it.  Oh,  how  unworthy  I  am,  polluted 
with  sin  from  the  crown  of  my  head  to  the  soles 
of  my  feet !  What  infinite  mercy,  what  won- 
derful condescension  in  the  Ruler  of  heaven 
and  earth  to  permit  one  like  me  to  approach 
into  his  presence  !  How  much  I  fear  and  dread 
the  world,  lest  I  again  fall  into  its  snares.  0 
my  God,  help  me  to  consecrate  myself  more  un- 
reservedly to  thy  service.  Help  me  to  take  up 
the  cross,  and,  through  evil  report  and  good 
report,  follow  my  blessed  Master,  who  suffered 
so  much  for  me.  I  have  resolved  to  go  about 
my  Father's  business,  not  fearing  the  taunts  or 
reproaches  of  the  world.  Help  me,  Lord,  to 
9 


130  THE   SISTERS. 

embrace  every  opportunity  of  promoting  thy 
cause,  and  grant  that  I  may  so  live  that  there 
shall  be  no  more  occasion  to  say  of  me,  What 
doest  thou  more  than  others?  In  thee,  0  God, 
is  all  my  strength. 

22d.  This  morning  I  retired  for  devotion 
until  breakfast,  and,  after  looking  over  my  Sab- 
bath School  lesson,  I  sat  down  and  wrote  a  little 
note  to  E.  G-.,  urging  her  to  attend  to-day  to  the 
interests  of  her  soul.  Oh,  I  have  been  unfaith- 
ful to  my  dear  class.  I  have  not  exhorted  them 
personally  to  repent  of  their  sins,  and  I  stand 
condemned  for  my  neglect  before  the  tribunal 
of  my  own  conscience.  How,  then,  must  God 
look  upon  it  ?  Wonderful  mercy,  —  that  he  still 
gives  me  time  and  opportunity  to  labor  in  his 
vineyard,  all  unworthy  as  I  am. 

I  have  told  E.,  in  my  note,  that  I  shall  pray 
for  her  every  night ;  may  I  be  helped  to  fulfill 
this  promise,  and  may  they  be  such  earnest  and 
fervent  prayers  as  God  shall  delight  to  bless. 
And  wilt  thou,  Father  of  every  good  and  per- 
fect gift,  lead  her  to  give  herself,  soul  and  body, 
into  thine  hands,  and  get  glory  to  thy  great 
name  ? 

A  little  before  Abbie's  departure,  she  had  had 
a  long  and  interesting  conversation  with  her 


REV.  MB.  PUTNAM'S  SERMON.  131 

father,  in  which  she  betrayed  "  the  ruling  pas- 
sion strong  in  death."  The  spiritual  condition 
of  her  youthful  companions  weighed  heavily  on 
her  heart,  and  she  sought  by  one  effort  more  to 
do  them  good,  even  after  her  lips  should  be 
silent  in  the  grave.  She  desired  that,  if  practi- 
cable, a  discourse  might  be  preached  on  the 
occasion  of  her  death  specially  addressed  to  the 
young  ;  and  designated  the*  Rev.  Mr.  Putnam,  in 
whose  preaching  she  was  ever  particularly  in- 
terested, as  the  one  whom  she  would  prefer  for 
this  service.  He  cheerfully  complied  with  the 
request,  in  allusion  to  which  Elizabeth  has  the 
following : 

Aug.  22.  This  evening  Rev.  Mr.  Putnam  has 
been  up,  and  preached  to  the  young  people  here 
according  to  dear  Abbie's  dying  request ;  his 
text,  Eccl.  12  :  1,  "  Remember  now  thy  Creator 
in  the  days  of  thy  youth."  He  addressed  the 
audience  for  ha]f  an  hour,  in  a  most  faithful  and 
affectionate  manner ;  describing  religion  as  a 
precious  ornament  of  the  young,  and  reminding 
them  how  uncertain  is  life,  which,  if  prolonged 
to  old  age,  would  be  an  age  of  sorrow  unless 
they  early  made  God  their  portion.  There  was 
a  full  house,  apparently  deeply  interested,  and 
it  seems  as  if  its  effect  must  be  happy. 


132  THE    SISTERS. 

Elizabeth  had  a  heart  full  of  sympathy  for 
others.  In  her  own  great  grief,  under  the  stroke 
of  bereavement,  she  had  a  tear  and  a  word  of 
gentle  comfort  for  a  dear  friend  who  had  just 
buried  a  little  son.*  Though  written  shortly 
before  Abbie's  death,  it  is  inserted  here  not  to 
break  the  continuity  of  events  then  rapidly 
hastening  to  the  impending  crisis. 

Hamden,  July  14,  1852. 

MY  DEAE  MRS.  L. :  —  Since  hearing  of  the 
deep  affliction  with  which  you  have  been  vis- 
ited, in  the  death  of  your  darling  little  Eddie,  I 
feel  constrained  to  write  you  a  few  lines.  It 


*  The  father  of  this  interesting  child,  in  transmitting-  his  little  legacy 
to  the  A.  B.  C.  F.  M.,  accompanied  it  with  an  affecting  notice  of  his 
death,  concluding  as  follows :  — 

"After  he  had  ceased  to  notice  any  thing  about  him,  and  we  were 
watching  the  last  sands  of  life,  —  appearing  to  feel  the  shades  of  death 
gathering  about  him,  he  repeated,  in  a  fully  audible  voice,  his  usual 
evening  prayer.  '  O  God,  forgive  me  my  sins,  and  give  me  a  nice 
new  heart,  for  Jesus  Christ's  sake  —  Amen.'  How  heartily  did  our 
aching  hearts  respond  —  Amen. 

"  He  loved  the  Sabbath  School,  and  always  desired  to  put  something 
into  the  missionary  box.  He  had  a  little  store  of  which  he  made  me  the 
trustee,  and  on  which  he  claimed  interest.  I  can  not  doubt,  were  he 
now  with  us,  he  would  take  a  lively  interest  in  the  Missionary  Packet, 
and  I  think  I  can  not  better  discharge  my  trust  —  too  long  delayed  — 
than  by  sending  you,  for  that  object,  as  I  now  do,  the  amount,  with  in- 
terest, six  dollars  and  forty-five  cents.  If  there  is  cognizance  of  the 
passing  events  and  enterprises  of  earth  in  heaven,  doubtless  it  will  add 
to  the  joy  of  his  angel  spirit,  to  know  that  his  little  earthly  treasure  has 
been  applied  to  so  good  an  object;  and  it  also  affords  a  mournful  satis- 
faction to  a  bereaved  father." 


SYMPATHY   WITH   A   FRIEND.  133 

seems,  sometimes,  to  alleviate  our  grief  to  know 
that  it  is  shared  by  others,  although  in  such  an 
hour  of  trial  the  friendship  of  Jesus  is  more 
precious  than  that  of  all  earthly  comforters. 
How  dark  and  cheerless  earth  appears ;  but, 
when  we  raise  the  eye  of  faith  upward,  we  see 
the  loved  one  safe  from  all  the  troubles  of  this 
world  in  the  bosom  of  him  who  said,  "  Suffer 
the  little  ones  to  come  unto  me."  How  your 
heart  must  bleed ;  and  yet,  (though  none  but  a 
mother  knows  the  strength  of  the  tie  which 
binds  her  to  her  child,)  I  am  sure  you  can  not 
wish  your  darling  back,  for,  had  he  been  spared, 
he  would  have  found  life  at  best  but  a  weary 
pilgrimage,  and  now  he  is  "an  angel  in  heaven." 
Dear  little  Eddie,  he  always  seemed  to  me  an 
exceedingly  interesting  child.  I  can  hardly 
realize  that  he  has  passed  away  for  ever.  How 
comforting  the  thought  that  his  little  ransomed 
spirit  is  looking  down  from  the  skies,  perhaps 
ever  near  those  who  so  fondly  loved  him  on 
earth. 

"  It  is  a  beautiful  belief, 

That  ever  round  our  head 
Are  hovering,  on  angels'  wings, 

The  spirits  of  the  dead." 

How  precious,   too,    the    assurance   that   we 
have  a  friend  in  heaven  who   can  sympathize 


134  THE     SISTERS. 

with  us  in  all  our  sorrows,  who  invites  us  to 
come  and  cast  all  cares  upon  him  who  careth 
for  us. 

Please  present  my  kind  regards  to  Mr.  L. ; 
and  may  an  infinitely  compassionate  Father 
grant  you  all  the  consolation  you  need  in  the 
more  abundant  communications  of  his  Spirit 
and  grace. 

Ever  affectionately  yours,  —  doubly  so  in 
affliction, 

LlZZIE   DlCKERMAN. 

Aug.  23.  Ta  brought  home  the  piano  this 
noon,  but  I  do  not  find  as  much  pleasure  in 
playing  as  I  anticipated,  for  it  seems  so  sad. 
The  last  time  I  played  before,  Abbie  was  here 
to  listen,  but  now  she  has  joined  the  innumer- 
able choir  of  heaven.  Oh,  what  music  warbles 
from  her  tongue,  and  with  what  skill  does  she 
touch  her  golden  lyre  to  the  praise  of  redeem- 
ing love !  She  greatly  regretted  here  that  she 
had  no  talent  for  music;  but  now  she  is  satis- 
fied; and  my  poor  attainments  can  no  longer 
compare  with  hers.  Mrs.  W.  writes,  "  If  I  am 
permitted  to  reach  those  heavenly  mansions, 
shall  I  ever  get  near  enough  to  gain  one  glimpse 
of  her  there?"  It  had  not  occurred  to  me 
before  that  I  might  not  spend  eternity  with  her, 


ENCOURAGEMENT   IN   LABOR.  135 

even  if  I  attained  heaven  itself.  Father  of 
mercies,  grant  me  stronger  desires  for  holi- 
ness, • — earnest  and  longing  desires,  such  as  them 
wilt  not  refuse.  Help  me  to  draw  nearer  to  the 
throne  of  thy  grace,  and  to  live  in  intimate  com- 
munion with  thee  ! 

26th.  I  have  just  returned  from  prayer  meet- 
ing, with  my  heart  full  to  overflowing.  Last 
Sabbath  I  gave  Emily  G.  a  little  note,  and  have 
ever  since  longed  to  hear  from  her.  She  was 
at  the  meeting  this  evening,  and,  after  it  closed, 
J  had  opportunity  to  speak  with  her  for  a  mo- 
ment, when  she  seemed  deeply  affected,  and 
burst  into  tears.  Can  it  be  that  such  a  feeble 
effort,  put  forth  in  perfect  weakness,  shall  be 
blessed  of  God  ?  What  have  I  been  doing  all 
my  life  long,  —  neglecting  to  labor  in  my  Mas- 
ter's vineyard  ?  And  now  that  this  first  attempt 
should  so  soon  promise  immortal  fruits  !  I  shall 
be  an  ungrateful  wretch  if  I  still  refuse  to  take 
up  the  cross.  I  asked  E.  if  she  did  not  think 
she  could  give  herself  to  Christ,  and  she  said 
she  did.  Oh  that  I  could  only  see  her  and  have 
a  good  talk  with  her !  for  I  long  to  know  just 
where  she  is  standing. 

It  seems  as  if  God  had  done  this  on  purpose 
to  encourage  me,  and  now  I  hope  that  I  shall  ever 
be  instant  in  season,  and  out  of  season,  warning 


136  THE     SISTERS. 

all  with  whom  I  associate,  to  repent  and  come 
to  Christ.  I  long  to  do  all  in  my  power  for  my 
dear  S.  S.  class.  Oh,  how  dearly  I  love  their 
souls  !  and  it  seems  now  that  God  is  preparing 
the  way  for  a  blessing. 

27th.  This"  morning  I  wrote  a  note  to  C. 
May  the  Lord  bless  it  to  the  salvation  of  her 
precious  soul. 

What  a  cause  for  gratitude  it  is  that  I  have 
Christian  parents  who  dedicated  me  in  infancy 
to  the  service  of  God,  and  have  been  offering 
up  for  me  their  fervent  prayers  from  the  dawn 
of  my  existence  ;  whose  wrestlings  and  tears  the 
midnight  hour  has  often  witnessed.  Shall  I  not 
be  doubly  guilty,  if  I  refuse  to  labor  in  his  cause 
who  has  blessed  me  with  such  parents  ? 

28th.  It  is  three  o'clock  in  the  morning, 
and  as  I  design  to  go  to  New  Haven  as  soon  as 
it  is  light,  I  have  risen  thus  early  that  my  morn- 
ing devotions  may  not  be  interrupted ;  for  if  I 
omit  them,  it  seems  as  if  a  whole  day  is  lost.  I 
love  to  consecrate  the  earliest  and  best  hour  of 
day  to  communion  with  heaven,  before  the  world 
creeps  in  and  takes  possession  of  my  too  yield- 
ing heart.  I  do  desire  to  restrain  its  rovings, 
and  make  God  all  in  all. 

During  a  visit  of  a  week  with  her  friends,  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  W.,  in  Plymouth,  she  writes  : 


VISITING.  137 

August  31.  This  afternoon  Mrs.  W.  has  been 
showing  me  some  of  Abbie's  letters  to  her;  from 
which  I  have  copied  some  extracts.  They 
breathe  such  a  spirit  of  devotion  and  of  self- 
consecration  to  God's  work,  that  I  feel  con- 
demned for  my  lukewarmness.  Oh  that  I  could 
be  a  whole-hearted  Christian,  for  I  can  not  en- 
dure this  halfway  work ;  it  seems  so  much  like 
mocking  God  !  And  yet  I  would  not  take  the 
whole  world  for  the  little  enjoyment  I  have  in 
religion. 

Sept.  4«  Left  Plymouth  about  half-past  ten 
this  morning.  I  had  designed  to  spend  the 
Sabbath  there,  but  when  I  came  to  think  that  if 
I  did,  'ma  would  have  to  go  to  the  communion 
table  without  any  of  the  children  with  her,  I 
knew  she  would  feel  lonely,  so  I  concluded  to 
come  directly  home.  Our  communion  season  is, 
however,  deferred  till  another  Sabbath,  and  I 
now  almost  regret  that  I  did  not  remain.  How- 
ever, it  matters  little,  for  I  can  serve  God  here 
as  well  as  there  ;  indeed  I  find  home  much  the 
best  place  for  accomplishing  the  great  work  of 
life,  for  there  is  less  here  to  distract  atten- 
tion. 

8th.  Returned  this  morning  from  a  visit 
to  Wallingford,  where  I  went  on  Monday.  Last 
night  after  we  retired  I  had  a  long  talk  with 


138  THE     SISTERS. 

M.  She  seemed  quite  free  to  communicate  her 
feelings,  and  says  she  is  fully  determined  to  be 
a  Christian.  Circumstances  have  not  yet  per- 
mitted her  to  make  a  public  profession  of  reli- 
gion, but  she  says  she  should  feel  it  a  privilege 
to  do  so.  She  expects  soon  to  go  to  Albany  to 
school.  She  will  board  with  P.  in  a  public 
house  where  there  are  no  religious  influences, 
and  I  tremble  for  her.  Her  companions  will 
perhaps  be  of  the  most  thoughtless  sort,  and 
where  will  it  end  ?  May  God  preserve  her  from 
wandering  away  from  him. 

The  last  two  extracts  are  characteristic  ex- 
amples of  Elizabeth's  regard  for  her  friends.  It 
was  not  only  that  she  knew  how  to  "  weep  with 
those  that  weep/7  but  to  identify,  also,  all  their 
welfare  with  her  own.  Often  does  she  record 
events  in  the  history  of  others,  with  expressions 
of  her  interest  therein,  and  almost  always,  as  in 
this  instance,  with  prayer  for  a  blessing  upon 
them. 

She  was  now  about  recommencing  her  school, 
which  had  been  suspended  during  the  summer. 
Like  every  similar  occasion,  we  find  her  making 
it  a  time  of  earnest  self-communing,  resolve,  and 
supplication  for  guidance  and  help. 


PRAYER   FOR    FIDELITY.  139 

12th.  To-morrow  1  design  to  commence 
school  again.  Never  before  have  I  so  felt 
the  responsibility  resting  on  me  as  a  teacher. 
Immortal  souls  are  entrusted  to  my  care,  and 
perhaps  their  eternal  happiness  or  misery  will 
depend  on  my  fidelity.  Oh  !  may  I  ever  set 
before  them  a  godly  example ;  may  they  never 
judge  from  my  conduct  or  conversation  that 
religion  is  a  gloomy  thing ;  while  I  am  careful 
on  the  other  hand  to  indulge  in  no  light  and 
trifling  conversation  before  them.  I  have  read 
of  large  classes  being  converted  to  God  through 
the  instrumentality  of  a  faithful  teacher.  Oh 
that  our  school-room  this  session  might  be  a  little 
Bethel ;  that  the  anxious  inquiry  might  there 
be  heard,  "  what  shall  I  do  to  be  saved  ?  "  and 
that  these  dear  youth  might  taste  the  blessed- 
ness of  a  Saviour's  love  !  I  have  resolved  that, 
with  the  grace  of  God  to  assist  me,  I  will  im- 
prove every  opportunity  to  lead  my  dear  pupils 
to  see  themselves  just  as  they  are  —  sinners 
against  a  justly  offended  God.  I  have  lived 
long  enough  in  sloth,  and  feel  that  it  is  high  time 
for  me  to  be  about  my  Father's  business.  Few 
have  so  many  opportunities  to  converse  with 
impenitent  ones  as  I  have,  and  for  all  these  I 
must  account.  Oh!  may  I  meet  them  when 
called  before  my  judge  and  say,  "  Here,  Lord,  am 


140  THE     SISTERS. 

I,  and  the  souls  which  thou  hast  given  me,"  and 
hear  in  return,  "  well  done,  good  and  faithful 
servant." 

15th.  Rose  this  morning  very  early,  and 
received  a  rich  reward,  for  I  enjoyed  much  of 
God's  presence.  Was  also  aided  in  my  petitions 
at  the  opening  of  school.  Oh  that  these  dear 
pupils  may  see  that  I  am  in  earnest,  and  that  I 
do  strive  to  honor  my  God ! 

19th.  This  evening  have  been  again  to  dear 
Abbie's  grave.  Beside  it  another,  scarce  two 
feet  long,  has  recently  been  made.  There  sleeps 
a  little  infant  son  of  uncle  A.'s.  He  opened  his 
eyes  and  breathed  a  few  short  hours,  then  closed 
them  forever.  It  is  a  bitter  disappointment  to 
the  parents,  but  he  has  escaped  a  life  of  toil  and 
trial  which  he  hardly  tasted.  Thus  all  are 
passing  away.  The  destroyer  comes  alike  to 
the  gray-headed  sire  who  has  filled  out  his 
fourscore  years,  to  the  active  and  gladsome 
youth,  and  to  the  new-born  infant;  but  it  matters 
not  when,  provided  life's  great  end  is  accom- 
plished. 

Would  that  I  might  realize  more  and  more 
every  day  the  object  for  which  I  was  created ; 
"  to  glorify  God  and  enjoy  him  for  ever."  Help 
me,  0  Father,  to  look  away  from  myself  to 
Jesus  Christ,  my  advocate  with  thee.  For  his 


PRAYER   MEETINGS.  141 

sake  strengthen  me  for  all  the  conflicts  of  life, 
and  help  me  to  come  off  victorious  over  every 
sin.  "  Cleanse  me,  Lord,  and  make  me  pure." 
In  Jesus  alone  is  my  trust. 

23d.  We  had  a  precious  little  meeting  this 
evening  at  Mr.  L.  I.'s,  for  God  was  there.  The 
room  was  filled,  mostly  with  professing  Chris- 
tians, but  among  them  were  a  few  of  our  dear 
impenitent  friends.  Scarcely  a  moment  was 
wasted,  but  all  our  brethren  —  even  those  whose 
voices  I  never  heard  before,  unless  specially 
called  upon  —  were  ready  to  speak  and  pray. 
Surely  God  is  waiting  to  bless  us,  and  shall  we 
refuse  to  receive?  I  believe  we  shall  yet  gather 
a  rich  harvest  of  souls,  for  Christians  do  seem  to 
be  waking  to  their  duty,  and  God  has  promised 
his  blessing  to  those  who  ask  it.  Come,  Lord, 
and  work  like  thyself,  and  get  glory  to  thy  great 
name  in  the  salvation  of  precious  souls. 

1  had  quite  a  talk  with  C.  coming  home,  and 
do  most  sincerely  hope  that  the  Spirit  of  God  is 
striving  with  her.  She  is  a  sweet  girl,  one 
whom  my  soul  loves,  but  she  lacks  the  one  thing 
needful.  How  much  I  do  long  to  see  her  within 
the  fold  of  Christ !  1  could  intercede  for  her 
the  whole  night  at  the  throne  of  grace.  Take 
her  into  thine  arms,  0  Father,  and  may  she 


142  THE     SISTERS. 

not  give  sleep  to  her  eyes  until  her  peace  is 
made  with  thee. 

25th.  Last  evening  I  attended  our  weekly 
female  prayer  meeting  at  Mrs.  C.'s.  Our  number 
has  doubled  since  our  last  meeting  —  eight 
ladies  being  present.  Oh  !  how  pleasant  it  did 
seem  to  kneel  down  together  and  unitedly  pray 
for  a  blessing  on  our  own  souls,  upon  the  church, 
and  the  souls  of  our  dear  impenitent  friends. 
Precious  little  meeting !  may  I  love  it  more  and 
more,  and  never  willfully  absent  myself  from  it. 
It  does  seem  as  if  God  was  waiting  to  be  gra- 
cious, as  if  his  Spirit  was  striving  with  his  people 
to  bring  them  out  boldly  on  the  side  of  truth, 
and  lead  them  to  advocate  his  cause  fearlessly 
before  a  gainsaying  world. 

This  morning  God  was  with  me  in  my  closet, 
and  I  hope  that  I  shall  be  able  to  withdraw  my 
thoughts  more  from  earth  than  I  have  hitherto 
done.  I  find  a  thousand  foes  within  and  without, 
all  striving  to  draw  me  away  from  my  blessed 
Saviour. 

29th.  This  morning  I  arose  very  early  and 
went  to  New  Haven  to  engage  a  music  teacher. 
Have  concluded  to  take  lessons  of  Mr.  B.,  who 
has  been  highly  recommended  to  me.  My 
prayer  is  that  I  may  not  be  so  much  engrossed 
with  them  as  to  neglect  more  important  duties, 


RESOLUTIONS.  143 

especially  my  morning  and  evening  devotions  ; 
and  that  God's  presence  and  blessing  may  crown 
my  humble  efforts  with  abundant  success. 

This  afternoon  the  Sabbath  School  Anniver- 
sary* has  been  celebrated  here.  Dr.  H.,  from 
New  Haven,  addressed  the  parents  and  teachers, 
and  related  a  remarkable  instance  of  fidelity  in 
a  teacher,  which  had  come  under  his  own  obser- 
vation. A  young  lady  had  a  class  of  girls  who, 
in  a  short  time  after  being  placed  under  her 
care,  were  all  converted.  Another  class  was 
soon  after  assigned  her,  when  the  like  result 
followed,  then  a  third.  After  her  death,  which 
occurred  not  long  subsequent,  the  following 
resolutions  were  found  among  her  papers : 

1.  "  To  pray  for  those   dear  children  every 
day. 

2.  To  make  each  one  a  particular  subject  of 
prayer,  daily. 

3.  To  persevere  till  they  are  all  converted." 
Here  was  the  secret  of  her  success,  for  prayer 

"moves  the  hand  that  moves  the  world."  Oh!  I 
do  desire  to  be  more  faithful  to  my  dear  Sabbath 
School  class,  and  to  see  them  all  lambs  of  the 
flock.  If  I  pray  with  a  fervent  spirit  and  labor 
with  them  as  I  ought,  I  know  that  God  can  bless. 

*  Anniversary  of  a  "  S.  S.  Union,"  embracing  a  number  of  the  schools 
of  this  vicinity." 


144  THE     SISTERS. 

Here  then,  before  thee,  0  my  Father,  do  I  adopt  the 
same  resolutions.  May  I  have  thy  assistance  to 
enable  me  to  keep  them;  for  in  thee  alone  am  I 
strong. 

30th.  Rev.  Mr.  T.  called  to  see  our  school, 
and  was  pleased  to  express  his  gratification  with 
his  visit.  I  do  hope  that  I  am  doing  some  good 
and  making  myself  useful,  for  I  have  little  time 
in  which  I  can  work. 

E.  came  home  this  afternoon,  and  wished  very 
much  to  have  me  go  out  and  make  calls  with 
him  ;  but  it  is  the  evening  of  our  prayer  meet- 
ing, and  God  has  given  me  grace  to  resist  the 
temptation.  May  I  be  rewarded,  in  getting  my 
spiritual  strength  renewed.  I  do  love  these 
little  prayer  meetings,  for  they  are  precious 
seasons  to  my  soul,  and  of  late  they  have  been 
peculiarly  interesting.  Lord,  be  with  us  to- 
night, and  lead  some  inquiring  soul  to  him 
whence  comes  all  our  help. 

Oct.  1.  What  -shall  I  say  to-night?  One  of 
my  dear  pupils,  a  member  of  my  Sabbath  School 

class  has  found  her  Saviour  !  A came  home 

with  us  last  night,  and,  after  a  little  con- 
versation on  the  subject,  seemed  greatly  dis- 
tressed in  her  mind.  Fannie  was  alone  with  her 
for  a  long  time  before  the  meeting,  and  I  won- 
dered they  did  not  come  down,  since  it  was  get- 


CONVERSION   OF   A    PUPIL.  145 

ting  late,  but  now  I  know  the  reason.  Before 
A went  to  sleep  she  told  Fannie,  in  a  whis- 
per, that  she  had  found  relief;  and  this  morning 
she  was  happy.  I  never  before  saw  her  wear 
such  a  countenance  as  she  has  worn  to-day. 
The  love  of  Jesus  has  shone  in  her  very  face. 
Oh;  how  unworthy  I  am?  that  my  poor  prayers 
should  be  so  answered  !  Only  two  days  since  I 
resolved  to  pray  daily  for  my  dear  class,  and, 
almost  before  a  day  passed,  one  was  already 
rejoicing  in  hope.  Oh,  how  much  I  shall  have 
to  answer  for  if,  after  such  encouragement,  I  am 
unfaithful ! 

3d.    A came  home  with  me  this  noon,  and 

it  is  really  soul-reviving  to  see  how  happy  she 
is.  She  expresses  a  desire  to  be  useful,  and 
says  she  is  not  afraid  to  have  her  companions 
know  that  she  means  to  be  a  Christian.  One 
may  read  in  her  countenance  that  she  has  tasted 
joys  which  the  world  knows  not  of.  Blessed  be 
God's  holy  name,  if  he  has  saved  one  of  those 
dear  souls  from  everlasting  death.  May  I  have 
wisdom  and  grace  to  direct  her  aright.  She 
will  doubtless  find  foes  within  and  without; 
but  may  God  give  her  grace  to  overcome  them. 
I  can  not  praise  God  enough  for  his  goodness. 
I  have  longed  to  see  some  of  these  dear  ones 
safe  within  the  fold,  and  God  has  chosen  one 
10 


146  THE     SISTERS. 

whom  I  have  always  tenderly  loved  for  her 
amiable  qualities. 

6th.  This  has  been  a  very  interesting  day  to 
me.  This  morning  L.  G.  came,  about  eight 
o'clock,  in  great  distress  of  mind.  I  conversed 
and  prayed  with  him,  and  when  it  was  time  for 
school,  left  him  with  'ma  and  Fannie.  He  did 
not  come  to  school  till  nearly  noon,  and  has  not 
been  able  to  study  much  to-day.  As  soon  as 
the  school  was  dismissed  he  came  to  me  and 
burst  into  tears  again,  and  said  he  could  not  go 
home.  I  tried  to  direct  him  to  Jesus,  and  told 
him  the  work  lay  between  his  soul  and  God, — - 
then  prayed  with  him  again,  and  advised  him  to 
go  by  himself  in  prayer  and  resolve  not  to  leave 
his  room  till  he  had  given  himself  to  the  Saviour. 
Oh,  how  I  did  long  for  the  tongue  of  an  angel ! 
I  have  been  praying  for  just  such  a  season,  and 
now  that  it  has  come  I  know  not  what  to  say. 
I  do  believe  that  the  dear  one  is  not  far  from 
the  kingdom  of  heaven.  Teach  me,  0  Lord, 
how  to  direct  inquiring  souls  to  thee. 

7th.  L.  came  to  me  again  this  morning  quite 
early,  feeling  much  as  he  did  yesterday.  I 
really  do  n?t  know  what  to  say  to  him,  for  I 
can't  see  where  his  difficulty  is,  unless  he  is 
relying  too  much  on  human  instrumentality.  I 
cautioned  him  against  this,  and  told  him  that  I 


PRECIOUS    MEETING.  147 

could  do  nothing  for  him,  but  point  him  to  Jesus 
who  is  all-sufficient.  Oh  that  I  might  have  that 
preparation  of  heart  which  will  fit  me  to  act 
wisely  and  speak  with  discretion  to  inquiring 
souls  !  Have  been  to  Deacon  G.'s  this  evening, 
to  the  prayer  meeting.  The  majority  of  those 
present  were  of  the  impenitent.  Oh  that  this 
night  might  witness  the  striving  of  God's  Spirit 
with  their  hearts  !  We  had  a  good  little  meet- 
ing, though  there  were  but  few  to  bear  a  part 
in  it. 

8th.  It  is  raining  quite  fast,  and  I  fear  for 
our  female  prayer  meeting  this  evening.  Some- 
times I  have  almost  desired  something  to  pre- 
vent my  going,  but  to-night  it  does  seem  that  I 
must  go.  Yet,  Lord,  thy  will  be  done,  for  I  can 
have  the  privilege  of  secret  prayer,  and  this 
thou  wilt  not  deny  me.  .  .  , 

...  It  stopped  raining  in  time,  and  I  called 
for  cousin  M.,  and  went  down  to  the  meeting. 
No  one  else  was  in,  but  we  had  a  precious  little 
season.  I  felt  much  more  freedom  than  usual, 
and  was  very  glad  I  went,  for  I  find  my  spir- 
itual strength  renewed,  and  am  more  determined 
to  serve  the  Lord.  Oh  for  heavenly  wisdom 
and  grace !  In  my  own  self  I  am  miserable, 
and  poor,  and  blind,  and  naked.  I  desire  to  feel 
my  own  nothingness.  If  I  am  permitted  to  labor 


148  THE     SISTERS. 

in  thy  vineyard,  0  my  Father,  help  me  to  ren- 
der to  thee  all  the  fruits,  and  to  feel  that  I  am 
still  an  unprofitable  servant. 

llth.  7Pa  has  a  slow  fever.  I  think  I  can 
see  the  hand  of  God  in  it  for  my  benefit.  My 
mind  has  been  completely  absorbed  by  my  mu- 
sic, and  now  God  prevents  my  practicing,  that 
it  may  get  into  a  more  rational  state.  I  am 
already  feeling  more  indifferent  about  it;  and 
when  God  sees  that  I  am  willing  to  submit  the 
matter  entirely  to  him,  I  doubt  not  that  I  shall 
be  able  to  go  on.  I  hope  my  dear  father  will 
not  have  to  suffer  on  my  account. 

To  MRS.  W.  Oct  20>  1852' 

Our  church  have  given  Mr.  T.  a  call  to  be 
their  pastor.  I  hope  he  will  accept  it,  for  I 
think  we  never  needed  the  labors  of  a  faithful 
pastor  more  than  now.  There  are  some  indica- 
tions of  good  among  us.  Our  prayer  meetings 
are  well  attended,  and  at  the  last  two  or  three 
we  have  had  more  than  a  room  full.  My  school 
is  much  pleasanter  than  ever  before,  for  the 
Spirit  of  God  seems  to  be  with  us.  It  is  as  yet 
a  "  still  small  voice/7  but  I  think  I  can  truly  say 
that  God  is  here.  I  feel  that  I  have  the  greatest 
encouragement  to  be  faithful  to  him. 


LETTER    TO    MRS.   W.  149 

Nov.  25.     This  morning came  up  from 

New  Haven  very  early,  and  I  neglected  to  go 
into  my  closet,  to  thank  God  for  all  his  mercies 
and  all  his  chastisements.  How  much  I  have  to 
be  grateful  for,  yet  how  prone  I  am  to  forget 
the  Author  of  all  my  blessings  ! 

To  MBS.  W.  Jan'  17>  1853' 

DEAR  MRS.  W. :  —  It  would  be  superfluous 
for  me  to  tell  you  that  I  was  delighted  to 
receive  another  token  from  you  that  I  am  still 
"  held  to  memory  dear.77  I  deferred  replying 
till  after  ordination,  (of  Mr.  T.,)  but  you  doubt- 
less have  the  particulars  of  that  fresh  from  Mr. 
W.,  without  their  having  been  squeezed  into  a 
mail  bag,  so  I  don't  know  what  I  shall  resort  to 
for  "  news.77  Allow  me,  however,  to  say  that 
the  very  best  part  of  the  occasion  was  the 
privilege  of  seeing  him,  though  his  stay  was 
so  short.  His  presence  was  as  gratifying  as 
it  was  unexpected ;  and,  if  he  had  only  brought 
his  "better  half77  and  little  fractions  along  too, 
our  happiness  would  have  been  complete. 

How  much  I  have  thought  of  dear  little  L., 
and  her  shocking  burn  I  It  must  be  very 
tedious  this  wintry  weather.  I  am  glad  S.  is 
progressing  so  finely  in  the  art  of  reading.  It 


150  THE   SISTERS. 

looks  a  little  like  getting  old  enough  to  "  shave 
and  wear  a  collar." 

Many  letters  to  her  intimate  friends  exhibit  a 
very  genial  temperament,  which  gave  a  rare 
charm  to  her  society.  Eeligion  was  to  her  far 
from  being  asceticism ;  her  extreme  self-watch- 
fulness and  conscientiousness  were  enlivened  by 
many  a  smile  and  many  a  playful  word,  showing 
the  sunshine  of  the  heart  within. 

Among  her  papers  are  found  a  few  com- 
positions in  verse,  which,  though  of  a  very 
unpretending  kind,  evince  at  least  a  refined 
taste  and  a  harmonious  ear.  One  of  these, 
written  at  this  time  in  Abbie's  album,  is  ad- 
dressed, 

TO   MY   SISTER  IN  HEAVEN. 

Is  it  well  with  thee,  sweet  sister,  in  thy  heavenly  home 
above  ? 

That  blessed  home  where  thou  dost  dwell  in  endless  light 
and  love :  — 

Methought  I  heard  angelic  bands  sing  to  their  harps  of  gold, 

"  Thrice  welcome,  gentle  spirit,  to  this  world  of  bliss  un- 
told." 

We  can  not  mourn  that  thou  hast  gone,  although  a  vacant 

chair 

We  see  beside  our  hearthstone  as  we  sadly  gather  there ; 
For  we  know  that  a  better  seat  for  thee  thy  Saviour  doth 

provide, 
A  radiant  throne  of  victory  close  by  his  wounded  side. 


DEATH   OP   HER   GRANDMOTHER.  151 

And  we  know  that  thou  art  happy  beyond  our  mortal  ken ; 
No,  we  will  not  be  so  selfish  as  to  wish  thee  back  again ; 
For  even  in  death  a  heavenly  light  shone  on  thy  marble 

brow, 
And  we  heard  thee  softly  breathing,  "  I  am  happy,  happy, 


Methinks  I  hear  thy  glad  response  steal  gently  from  above, 
"  It  is  well  with  me,  my  sister,  in  this  world  of  light  and 

love  ; 
And  when  thy  days  are  ended,  and  the  golden  cord  shall 

sever, 
We  shall  meet  again  in  heaven  to  part  no  more  for  ever." 

April  24.  The  death  of  her  grandmother  is  re- 
corded, a  venerable  lady  residing  in  the  family, 
who  departed  in  peaceful  hope.  She  had  been 
remarkable  for  her  cheerfulness  in  age  and 
infirmity.  A  visitor  once  observed  to  her, 
"  I  suppose  you  can  say  with  Jacob,  few  and 
evil  have  been  the  days  of  my  pilgrimage." 
"  Oh ! "  said  she  with  a  smile,  "  I  have  seen 
a  great  many  good  days."  Elizabeth  thus 
writes  : 

During  the  past  week  we  have  been  called  to 
lay  our  dear  grandmother  in  the  grave.  How 
blessed  the  change  for  her  !  No  more  burdened 
with  infirmity,  no  more  pain,  no  more  care — 
henceforth  the  crown  of  victory  and  the  harp 
of  praise  !  What  matter  is  it  that  our  mortal 


152  THE   SISTERS. 

bodies  molder  back  to  dust  ?  If  life  has  been 
spent  in  the  service  of  our  Maker,  and  our 
treasure  is  laid  up  above,  then  welcome  the 
hour  when  we  shall  put  off  these  "  clay  taberna- 
cles "  and  go  to  dwell  with  Him. 


HART    FEMALE   SEMINARY.  153 


CHAPTER    VIII. 

Organization  of  the  Hart  Female  Seminary  —  Elizabeth  as  Principal  — 
Discouragements  —  Brightening  prospects  —  Household  cares  —  La- 
bors for  souls  —  Revival. 

IN  the  spring  of  1853,  a  Seminary  for  young 
Ladies  was  established  in  Plymouth,  Conn.,  under 
the  superintendence  of  the  writer.  An  associa- 
tion of  gentlemen  was  formed,  and  became  incor- 
porate under  a  general  law  of  the  State ;  the 
old  mansion  long  the  residence  of  the  pastor  of 
the  church  was  purchased ;  and  the  institution, 
after  a  former  occupant  whose  memory  was  dear 
to  that  people,  was  named  the  "  Hart  Female 
Seminary. " 

Elizabeth  was  invited  to  take  charge  of  it,  as 
Principal.  The  enterprise,  at  this  stage  of  it, 
was  an  experiment.  Not  a  pupil  had  as  yet 
been  secured  ;  no  provision  had  been  made  for 
salary,  or  for  the  necessary  furniture  of  the 
house.  Our  chief  endowment  was  an  earnest 
resolve,  and  a  firm  faith  that  no  true  work  of 
love  to  God  and  love  to  souls  would  be  permitted 


154  THE     SISTERS. 

to  fail.  Elizabeth's  success  in  teaching  and  the 
solid  traits  of  her  character  were  known,  and 
in  looking  about  for  one  to  whom  the  charge  of 
the  infant  institution  might  be  entrusted,  our 
choice  fell  upon  her,  as  eminently  qualified  for 
the  station,  and  adapted  to  secure  the  ends 
contemplated  in  its  establishment.  The  result 
proved  that  these  expectations  were  not  un- 
founded. 

It  needs  but  a  glance  at  her  diary  to  discern 
the  motives  with  which  she  entered  on  this  new 
scene  of  responsibility.  "  Mr.  W.,"  she  writes, 
"  has  invited  me  to  go  to  Plymouth  to  teach. 
Shall  I  be  more  useful  there  than  here?" — Then 
follows  one  of  those  searching  interrogations  of 
herself  as  to  her  fidelity  to  her  former  pupils, 
and  earnest  prayers  for  divine  aid  in  the  duties 
before  her.  "  How  many  happ}^  hours  I  have 
spent  in  my  schoolroom  here,  and  how  kind  my 
patrons  have  been  to  overlook  so  many  failings. 
And  my  dear,  dear  pupils — them  too  I  must 
leave.  Have  I  done  all  I  could  to  lead  them  to 
Christ  ?  Shall  I  be  prepared  at  the  judgment 
to  say,  Here,  Lord,  am  I  and  those  whom  thou 
hast  given  me  ! — May  I,  in  my  new  field  of  labor, 
put  self  wholly  aside,  and  have  God's  glory  alone 
in  view.  May  I  be  guided  entirely  by  divine 


HOUSEKEEPING.  155 

wisdom,  and  depend  wholly  on  infinite  grace  for 
every  duty." 

It  was  intended  that  the  Seminary  should  be 
both  a  boarding  and  day  school.  The  house- 
keeping was  to  be  under  the  care  of  a  matron, 
and  the  pupils  and  teachers  were  to  live  there 
together, — the  Principal  to  have  the  direction 
of  the  whole.  It  was  impossible,  however,  to 
make  the  necessary  arrangements  for  housekeep- 
ing until  about  the  middle  of  the  first  term ;  the 
three  or  four  pupils  who  had  meantime  joined 
the  school  being  provided  for  in  the  families 
of  the  village.  These,  with  some  ten  or  twelve 
day  scholars,  constituted  the  school  during  the 
summer. 

At  length  housekeeping  commenced.  An  inti- 
mate friend  of  Elizabeth  consented  to  come  with 
her,  and  serve  as  matron  till  some  one  was  pro- 
cured permanently  for  that  office.  A  letter  to 
her  mother  describes  the  important  beginning, 
and  the  buoyancy  of  heart  and  hope  with  which 
it  was  made. 

Plymouth,  July  7,  1853. 

MY  DEAR  MOTHER  : — We  are  really  here,  all 
safe  and  sound. — Mrs.  T.  came  up  and  took 
Mary  home  with  her.  We  expected  to  stay  at 
the  Seminary  to-night,  but  every  thing  is  not 


156  THE     SISTERS. 

complete  yet,  and  we  shall  wait  till  to-morrow. 
—They  are  fitting  us  up  beautifully.  The  par- 
lor is  to  be  handsomely  furnished,  and  it  is  hinted 
that  we  are  to  have  a  grand  piano  there,  leaving 
mine  to  go  into  the  dining-room  for  the  girls. 
We  have  white  breakfast,  dining,  and  tea  sets, 
and  every  thing  nice  so  far,  of  Mr.  T.7s  selection, 
—also  a  barrel  of  flour,  some  codfish,  and  a  little 
of  all  kinds  of  groceries.  Our  stove  is  just  like 
yours,  so  Ellen  will  manage  it  easily.  She  is  as 
happy  as  a  lark ;  and,  with  the  aid  of  Mrs.  W.'s 
girl,  whom  she  has  lent  us,  has  been  driving  a 
double  team  since  I  came.  They  all  like  Mary 
right  well.  The  first  night  she  slept  but  little, 
as  she  was  half  sick  and  alone,  at  Mr.  T.'s.  The 
next  morning  she  had  the  blues  and  thought  she 
must  go  straight  home,  but  I  told  her  /  should 
stay.  In  the  afternoon  she  felt  better  and  we 
laughed  her  troubles  all  away.  Now  she  seems 
delighted. 

LIZZIE. 

Though  the  school  this  summer  was  not  large, 
yet  the  duties  of  teaching  and  the  novelty  of 
her  position  as  the  head  of  the  family  imposed 
upon  her  much  care  and  anxiety.  To  her 
mother  she  writes,  in  reference  to  it,  "  It  seems 
to  me,  once  in  a  while,  that  any  thing  would  be 


TEACHES  IN  THE  SABBATH  SCHOOL.     157 

a  relief  in  which  I  should  not  have  to  think, 
think,  think.  I  told  Ellen  yesterday,  when  she 
was  ironing,  that  I  envied  her.  She  replied 
that  she  wished  she  was^  to  swap." 

Notwithstanding  these  cares,  she  still  found 
time  for  her  own  studies.  "  Have  to-day/7  she 
records,  "  commenced  the  study  of  Latin.  I 
almost  fear  that  I  am  undertaking  too  much,  but 
it  is  better  to  wear  out  than  to  rust  out  in  this 
world,  where  there  is  so  much  to  do,  and  so 
little  time  to  do  it  in.  I  know  that  I  shall  make 
no  proficiency  in  this  without  God's  blessing, 
and  most  earnestly  do  I  implore  his  assistance. 

Very  soon  after  coming  to  Plymouth  she  was 
chosen  teacher  of  an  interesting  class  of  young 
ladies  in  the  Sabbath  School.  Of  these  she 
writes  : 

July  24.  I  have  never,  till  to-day,  ascer- 
tained how  many  of  my  Sabbath  School  class 
have  a  hope  in  Christ ;  and,  to  my  great  disap- 
pointment and  sorrow,  I  find  that  none  of  them 
have  it.  Here  is  a  new  call  for  me  to  be  dili- 
gent and  faithful.  I  am  resolved  to  take  up  my 
cross  and  bear  it,  for  the  sake  of  that  Saviour 
who  has  done  so  much  for  me.  I  felt  that  God 
was  with  me  to-day,  and  he  loosed  my  tongue 
and  enabled  me  to  warn  my  dear  pupils  to  flee 
from  the  wrath  to  come  and  lay  hold  on  eternal 


158  THE     SISTERS. 

life.  I  urged  them  to  come  now ;  to-day ;  and 
oh  that  the  grace  of  God  may  follow  what  I 
said,  and  bring  these  wanderers  home  to  him. 

I  do  desire  to  be  instrumental  in  the  salvation 
of  souls.  Our  present  term  will  close  in  little 
more  than  two  weeks.  Oh  that  we  may  see 
some  soul  brought  into  the  fold  of  the  Redeemer 
before  we  separate  ! 

At  the  close  of  the  term  Elizabeth  hastened 
home  in  great  anxiety  for  the  health  of  her  sis- 
ter Fannie,  who  began  to  show  symptoms  of 
alarming  disease.  The  vacation  was  mostly 
spent  in  the  care  of  her ;  and,  though  the 
unfavorable  symptoms  abated,  yet  she  returned 
to  her  school,  in  September,  with  a  heavy  heart, 
partly  from  anxiety  for  her  sister,  and  partly 
from  apprehensions  respecting  the  school  itself. 
The  first  entry  in  her  journal  after  her  return 
betrays  the  despondency  which  oppressed  her. 

Plymouth,  Sept.  14, 1853.  Commenced  school 
this  morning  with  oulyfour  scholars.  Have  felt 
very  lonely  and  sad  through  the  day,  and  know- 
ing how  much  I  am  needed  at  home,  I  con- 
cluded this  afternoon  to  go,  till  I  saw  Mr.  W. 
who,  of  course,  had  words  of  comfort  for  me. 
He  says  if  I  am  laboring  for  God  I  must  leave 
all  my  solicitude  with  him,  feeling  that  he  will 


MULTIPLIED    LABORS.  159 

appoint  for  us  just  what  is  best.  If  the  pros- 
perity of  our  school  will  promote  his  glory,  he 
will  grant  us  success.  We  must  leave  the  mat- 
ter entirely  with  him.  Oh,  how  pleasant  it  is 
to  have  a  little  light  break  in  when  one  is  all  in 
darkness ! 

The  friend  who  had  assisted  her  as  matron 
during  the  summer  was  unable  to  return.  The 
number  of  pupils  that  might  offer  for  the  next 
term  being  uncertain,  it  seemed  hardly  warrant- 
able to  engage  another;  and  Elizabeth,  with 
characteristic  self-forgetfulness,  offered  for  the 
present  to  dispense  with  one.  She  would  be 
principal  and  matron,  too.  With  the  aid  of  the 
efficient  Ellen,  her  mother's  former  domestic, 
she  would  do  both  the  teaching  and  the  house- 
keeping. An  engagement  was,  however,  made 
of  a  young  lady  to  come  in  a  few  days  as  "  assist- 
ant pupil ; "  and  all  further  arrangements  were 
left  to  be  subsequently  made,  as  the  progress 
of  events  should  call  for  them. 

The  beginning  of  the  fall  term,  as  already  in- 
timated, was  very  inauspicious.  Four  pupils 
only,  the  first  day,  and  five  the  next !  One 
whole  tedious  week  rolled  by  and  the  number 
had  scarcely  increased.  The  enterprise  was  a 
new  one,  the  very  existence  of  the  seminary 


160  THE     SISTERS. 

had  scarcely  become  known  beyond  the  town. 
Even  many  in  the  village  who  were  purposing 
to  come,  under  the  lax  habits  which  had  been 
tolerated  in  respect  to  the  district  school ,  had 
not  thought  it  important  to  be  punctual  at  the 
beginning.  No  wonder  that  loneliness,  despond- 
ency, and,  at  last,  desperate  homesickness  seized 
upon  Elizabeth.  Letters  were  despatched  to 
her  mother,  day  after  day,  saying  that  she  must, 
she  would  corne  home.  An  extract  from  one  of 
these,  while  it  gives  a  somewhat  amusing  view 
of  the  miseries  of  this  malady,  will  awaken  sym- 
pathy for  the  sufferer  herself. 

MY  DEAR  MOTHER  :  —  If  you  will  send  to  me 
that  you  need  me  at  home,  you  may  dismiss 
Margaret,  and  I  will  go  into  the  kitchen  and 
work  early  and  late ;  for  I  am  so  perfectly  mis- 
erable that  I  can  't  live  here  fourteen  weeks,  I 
am  sure.  I  can't  eat; — have  not  eaten  as  much 
as  one  good  meal,  in  all,  since  I  came.  I  have 
to  sit  down  and  make  the  motions  on  the  others7 
account,  but  it  seems  as  if  every  morsel  would 
choke  me.  I  must  not  cry,  because  others  will 
be  unhappy,  and  so  I  keep  my  distress  pent  up 
in  my  own  bosom  until  my  heart  is  well  nigh 
bursting. 

Noon.     It  is  just  as  clear  before  me  as  the 


HOMESICKNESS.  161 

noonday  sun.  At  home  is  my  mother,  the  very 
best  woman  that  ever  lived,  slaving  herself  to 
death  for  her  children.  There  is  my  only  dar- 
ling sister,  whose  very  life  may  depend  upon 
watchful  care.  Here  am  I,  away  from  all  that 
are  near  and  dear  to  me,  — •  for  what  ?  To  teach 
Jive  scholars !  No,  my  eyes  are  open.  My  deter- 
mination is  taken,  and  my  next  duty  is  to  carry 
it  out.  I  have  not  yet  made  it  known  to  Mr. 
W.,  but  I  know  that  nobody  can  censure  me. 
At  any  rate,  if  I  can  get  home,  the  world  may 
say  what  they  please.  Perhaps  you  will  think 
me  crazy.  I  don't  think  I  am  now,  but  believe 
I  shall  be  if  I  stay.  I  shall  get  off  to-morrow 
if  I  can ;  at  any  rate  you  may  expect  me  in  a 
few  days. 

Yours,  very  affectionately, 

LIZZIE. 

Prospects  at  length  began  to  brighten.  Her 
next  letter  is  of  a  more  cheerful  tone. 

Sept.  24. 

MY  DEAR  MOTHER  :  —  I  presume  that  by  this 
time  you  have  come  to  the  conclusion  that  I  am 
getting  over  the  blues.  Well,  so  I  am,  but, 
really,  they  were  not  without  cause. 

Mr.  W.  and  two  or  three  others  were  wholly 
unreconciled  to  my  determination  to  leave,  and 
11 


162  THE   SISTERS. 

they  have  been  making  a  special  effort  this 
week.  The  result  is  that  we  are  to  have  five 
new  boarders  next  week,  and  our  day  scholars 
will  probably  be  increased  to  fifteen  or  twenty ! 
Then,  our  original  plan  of  having  only  young 
ladies  has  been  suspended,  and  we  are  to  have 
a  primary  department,  though  distinct  from  the 
other.  The  juveniles  we  are  going  to  put  into 
the  middle  back  chamber,  and  Mr.  W.  says  that 
the  only  trouble  about  the  arrangement  is,  that 
he  is  having  too  many  applications  for  "  small 
favors."  If  we  can't  get  scholars  for  pay,  we 
have  concluded  to  take  them  for  nothing,  par- 
ticularly boarders ;  and  have  reduced  our  terms 
to  $120  per  year,  which  is  so  much  lower  than 
any  thing  of  the  kind  elsewhere,  that  we  are 
sure  people  will  look  this  way. 

Nor  was  it  the  brightening  prospects  of  the 
school  alone,  but  the  never-failing  resource  of 
prayer  and  trust  in  God,  which  brought  to  her 
this  relief.  On  the  25th  she  writes  in  her  jour- 
nal thus :  — 

Have  been  perusing  a  very  precious  sermon 
which  Mr.  W.  preached  to-day,  and  was  after- 
wards kind  enough  to  lend  me.  It  is  entitled 
"  Cares  cast  upon  God,"  from  the  text,  "  Casting 
all  your  cares  upon  him,  for  he  careth  for  you." 


163 

I  feel  that  it  has  done  me  much  good,  and  that 
I  can  cast  every  care  upon  my  heavenly  Father, 
and  trust  my  all  in  his  hands.  Oh;  this  has  been 
a  good  day  to  my  soul !  Thanks  be  to  God  who 
has  given  me  the  victory  over  temptation  ! 
How  different  are  my  feelings  from  what  they 
were  last  Sabbath !  I  do  hope  that  I  shall  not 
be  left  to  wander  back  again  to  unbelief  and 
darkness,  but  that  my  faith  will  grow  stronger 
and  brighter  until  my  Father  calls  me  home. 

The  sermon  was  returned  a  few  days  after- 
ward, and  the  following  lines  were  found  folded 
within  the  leaves. 

TRUST  IN   GOD, 

"  Casting  all  your  care  upon  him,  for  he  careth  for  you." 

And  will  my  heavenly  Father  hear  so  weak  a  cry  as  mine  ? 
And  may  I  cast  my  every  care  upon  a  Friend  divine  ? 
My  sins  have  ever  risen  high,  like  mountains,  o'er  my  head, 
Though  clothed  by  his  all-bounteous  hand,  and  from  his  table 

fed; 
Though  he  called  with  tenderest  words  of  love  to  me,  his 

wayward  child, 

Bidding  me  leave  the  dross  of  earth  for  pleasures  undefiled  ; 
And  when  I  would  not  follow  he  used  his  chastening  rod :  — 
Oh,  blessed  faithfulness  that  smote,  to  lead  me  back  to  God  ! 
But  how  in  every  sorrow  do  I  know  that  he  will  hear, 
Since  he  dwells  in  highest  glory  where  angels  praise  with. 

fear, 

Where  brightest  seraphs  lowly  bow,  and  myriad  voices  sing 
"  Honor,  and  power,  and  glory,  to  heaven's  Eternal  King  ?  " 


164  THE   SISTERS. 

I  read  that  not  a  sparrow  shall  fall  without  his  word  ; 

He  clothes  the  grass,  and  beast  and  bird  feed  from  his  ample 
board ; 

He  says  to  every  sorrowing  one  that  upon  him  relies, 

"  Call  on  me  in  time  of  trouble,  and  my  grace  shall  e'er  suf- 
fice." 

And  more  than  all,  hath  sent  his  Son  to  wash  away  our 
guilt, 

And  will  not  leave  the  souls  for  whom  that  precious  blood 
was  spilt. 

Oh !  sweet  to  call  him  Father  then,  and  sweet  to  trust  his 
love ; 

Sweet  to  believe  that  Jesus  can  all  our  guilt  remove  ; 

Sweet  to  look  up  to  heaven,  the  home  of  spirits  blest, 

Where  the  wicked  cease  from  troubling,  and  the  weary  are 
at  rest. 

Ah  yes  !  my  heavenly  Father,  in  thee  I  will  confide  ; 

Under  the  shadow  of  thy  wing  my  soul  shall  e'er  abide  ; 

And  let  me  never  from  thy  side,  again,  ungrateful  rove, 

But  take  me  to  thyself  at  last,  to  dwell  with  thee  above. 

To  HER  MOTHER.  SePt>  27' 

MY  DEAR  MOTHER: — I  suppose,  when  I  tell 
you  that  we  have  to-day  thirty-two  scholars,  you 
will  think  that  a  brighter  prospect  has  dawned 
upon  us.  We  have  already  five  boarding  pupils, 
and  three  more  positively  engaged  to  come  next 
week,  Mr.  W.  says  he  believes  we  shall  "  make 
a  live  of  it  yet."  He  asked  me  this  morning 
how  many  we  had,  and  when  I  told  him,  he  said, 


SCHOOL   INCREASING.  165 

Now  yon  may  write  to  your  mother,"  of  which 
privilege  you  see  I  am  availing  myself. 

I  made  soda  biscuits  for  tea  to-night,  for  the 
first  time.  I  had  to  snatch  time  from  a  music 
lesson,  and  didn't  expect  they  would.be  eatable -, 
but  they  were  first-rate.  I  wish  I  could  send 
some  with  my  letter.  What  funny  letters  I 
should  have,  if  I  could  enclose  all  I  want  to  1 
Well,  if  you  would  know  what  a  cook  I  am  you 
must  come  up  and  see. 

How  is  Fannie  ?  Tell  her  we  shall  want  an- 
other teacher  next  term, — may  be, — and  she 
must  get  well  fast.  I  am  to  have  seven  music 
scholars,  and  perhaps  more.  Am  getting  on  very 
nicely,  so  don't  borrow  trouble  about  my  worfc 
ing  too  hard,  for  Miss  H.,  my  assistant,  holds  her- 
self in  readiness  for  all  emergencies.  Love  to 

LIZZIE. 

Tuesday  morning,  27th.  Our  new  teacher 
Miss  H.  came  yesterday  afternoon.  I  hope  we 
shall  labor  together  faithfully  for  the  spiritual 
welfare  of  our  pupils.  I  feel  that  this  session 
must  not  pass  without  some  fruit  to  God's  glory .- 
We  have  two  or  three  in  school  who  profess  to 
have  made  Jesus  their  friend,  and  I  design  as 
soon  as  practicable  to  propose  to  them  to  hold  a 
little  prayer  meeting,  to  pray  for  the  descent  of; 


166  THE   SISTERS. 

God's  Spirit  among  us.  Oh !  how  my  responsi- 
bilities are  increasing,  but  it  is  sweet  to  know 
that  I  may  come  in  all  my  weakness  to  him 
whose  strength  is  perfected  therein.  Oh!  I  love 
to  trust  in  him.  Precious  Saviour  !  Precious 
Friend ! 

Oct.  6.  Our  family  now  numbers  fourteen ! 
I  feel  that  it  is  a  responsible  thing  to  have  the 
care  of  it,  and,  besides,  I  have  six  hours  to  spend 
in  school  every  day,  and  six  music  scholars  to 
teach,  myself,  out  of  school  hours.  I  don't  know 
but  it  is  wrong  for  me  to  try  to  do  so  much,  but 
I  love  to  work  with  my  might,  and  there  is  so 
much  here  to  be  done  by  somebody.  My  great- 
est trial  is  that  I  have  so  little  time  to  spend 
alone  with  my  God,  for  I  feel  that  I  am  entirely 
dependent  upon  him,  and  that  without  his  grace 
I  am  nothing. 

Have  received  intelligence  to-day  that  sister 
Fannie  is  worse.  I  have  now  very  little  hope 
for  her,  yet  it  is  hard  to  give  up  all.  O  my 
Father,  must  it  be  that  she  too  is  to  be  taken  ? 
How  can  I  be  left  alone  ?  Oh  !  help  me  to  feel 
that  thou  knowest  what  is  best  and  wilt  do  all 
things  well. 

Sabbath  afternoon,  Oct.  9.  This  has  been  a 
lovely  day,  and  for  the  first  time  we  have  been 
to  church  together,  as  a  boarding  school.  I  am 


RESPONSIBILITIES.  167 

afraid  I  have  been  a  little  vain,  and  too  much 
elated  with  having  so  large  a  number,  but  to  God 
alone  is  due  all  our  success.  Have  been  think- 
ing this  afternoon  of  the  weight  of  responsibility 
which  is  resting  upon  me,  until  I  am  almost 
crushed  beneath  it.  What  could  I  do, — where 
could  I  go,  had  I  not  a  firm  hope  that  I  have  a 
Friend  whose  strength  is  made  perfect  in  my 
weakness  !  I  do  long  to  witness  the  outpouring 
of  God's  Spirit  upon  this  beloved  Seminary, — 
to  know  that  these  precious  souls  are  inquiring 
the  way  to  life.  Still,  I  am  afraid  to  do  any 
thing  out  of  the  ordinary  course,  lest  it  should 
do  more  harm  than  good.  Oh  that  I  may  learn 
of  the  Great  Teacher  who  alone  is  able  to  guide 
and  direct  me  ! 

God  has  been  good  in  giving  me  such  a  kind 
and  faithful  assistant.  I  can  not  see  how  I  would 
have  her  different  from  what  she  is.  I  hope  that 
I  shall  always  treat  her  kindly  and  affectionately, 
for  surely  she  deserves  it.  The  great  secret  of 
her  willingness  to  spend  and  be  spent,  I  doubt 
not,  lies  in  her  devoted  piety.  It  is  sweet  to 
have  a  kindred  spirit  near,  who  has  felt  the 
Saviour's  love,  and  can  sympathize  in  my  anxie- 
ties as  well  as  joys.  May  the  richest  of  Heaven's 
blessings  be  her  reward  ! 


168  THE   SISTERS. 

To  HER  MOTHER. 

You  seldom  find  a  more  genteel  set  of  girls 
than  ours.  I  should  not  be  ashamed  to  compare 
them  with  any  boarding  school  in  the  land.  In 
fact,  we  think  we  have  the  pleasantest  school 
(numbering  forty-three)  and  the  happiest  family 
(numbering  seventeen)  in  New  England.  How 
I  wish  Fannie  could  be  here  too. 

Mr.  W.  has  engaged  for  us  the  services  of 
"Aunt  T."  a  notable  housewife,  for  two  or  three 
days  in  a  week.  She  has  been  here  to-day  for 
the  first  time,  revolutionizing  in  the  kitchen, 
making  pies,  gingerbread,  cookies,  &c.,  besides 
some  apple  and  quince  preserves  which  are  first- 
best.  Have  I  told  you  that  we  have  in  all  twelve 
music  scholars,  and  five  in  French  ?  Then  Mr. 
W.  has  a  class  in  Latin,  and  I  have  had  two  addi- 
tions to  my  drawing  class  the  past  week.  We 
have  ceased  expecting  that  they  are  all  in,  for 
they  are  coming  every  week. 

Oct.  16.  I  have  written  nothing  in  my  diary 
since  last  Sabbath,  for  I  have  so  many  cares  that 
I  can  scarcely  call  a  moment  my  own.  For  two 
or  three  weeks  I  have  hardly  been  able  to  retire 
for  a  single  night  before  midnight,  and  in  the 
morning  I  am  so  drowsy  that  I  rise  only  in  time 
to  dress  for  breakfast ;  then  come  music  lessons 


DESIRES    FOR   A    REVIVAL.  169 

till  school  time.  Something  must  be  done,  for  I 
feel  that  by  pursuing  such  a  course,  I  am  injur- 
ing my  own  soul ;  and  how  can  I  guide  aright 
those  committed  to  me,  without  drawing  fresh 
supplies  of  grace  from  that  Fount  whence  all 
my  blessings  flow  ? 

I  feel  that  I  am  engaged  in  a  noble  work,  and 
thank  God  from  my  inmost  soul  that  he  has 
given  it  to  me  to  do.  But  I  have  need  of  earnest, 
fervent  prayer.  Oh,  how  my  heart  yearns  for 
these  precious  souls  !  I  am  resolved  not  to 
sleep  to-riight  till  I  have  done  something  for 
them.  0  God,  give  me  grace  ;  —  for  a  word  fitly 
spoken,  how  good  it  is  !  Put  thoughts  into  my 
heart,  and  attend  my  humble  efforts  with  the 
mighty  power  of  thy  Spirit. 

These  arduous  labors  and  desires  for  the  ben- 
efit of  her  pupils  were  not  long  in  yielding  their 
precious  fruits.  Very  faithfully  was  she  seconded 
in  them  by  her  assistant,  Miss  II.,  whom  she 
truly  pronounced  a  congenial  spirit.  Indeed, 
the  efforts  of  these  young  ladies  at  this  period 
were  such  as  might  well  instruct  many  a  professed 
disciple  of  Christ,  who  can  find  little  to  do  for 
him.  For  several  weeks,  until  a  suitable  matron 
could  be  procured,  they  had,  as  we  have  seen, 
all  the  care  of  the  household,  as  well  as  of  the 


170  THE   SISTERS. 

school ;  and  it  is  not  too  much  to  say  that  their 
management  of  both  was  all  that  could  be  wished. 
Neatness  and  order  reigned  in  every  depart- 
ment ;  while  unaffected  kindness,  mingled  with, 
and  chastened  by  a  grave  seriousness,  such  as 
sprung  from  a  deep  sense  of  responsibility,  and 
from  constant  communion  with  Heaven,  alike  con- 
troled,  while  they  won  the  hearts  of  all  their 
pupils.  Very  soon  Elizabeth  had  joyful  facts  to 
record. 

Sabbath  eve,  Oct.  23.  The  Spirit  of  the  Lord 
is  evidently  among  us.  Immediately  after  tea, 
I  told  the  young  ladies  that  Miss  H.  and  myself 
were  going  to  our  room  for  a  little  season  of 
prayer,  and  proposed  to  them  to  do  the  same. 
As  we  were  going  into  church  this  evening,  Miss 
C.  asked  Miss  H.  if  she  could  see  her  after  the 
service.  She  told  her  that,  "  when  they  went 
by  themselves  to  pray,  there  was  no  one  to  con- 
duct their  devotions.  At  length  Miss  J.  read  a 
prayer  and  they  were  much  affected."  At  our 
evening  prayers  to-day,  sobs  were  audible  in  dif- 
ferent parts  of  the  room,  and  some  of  the  girls 
were  so  much  affected  with  the  hymn  we  sung 
that  they  could  scarcely  finish  it.  I  have  been 
talking  with  Miss  C.,  and  she  seems  very  much 
distressed,  but  I  fear  not  so  much  on  account  of 


REVIVAL    IN   THE   SEMINARY.  171 

her  sins  as  something  else.  She  is  a  sweet  girl, 
and  would  to  God  the  one  thing  needful  were 
added  to  her  virtues. 

Monday  eve,  24th.  This  morning  we  found 
Miss  J.  in  deep  distress.  When  the  young  ladies 
came  down  to  breakfast,  anxiety  was  depicted  on 
almost  every  countenance,  and  when  addressed 
personally,  we  find  that  they  are  feeling  deeply. 
One,  who  is  a  professor  of  religion,  says  she 
knows  she  is  not  a  Christian,  and  seems  as 
anxious  as  the  others.  Not  knowing  what  "to 
do,  and  fearing  I  should  do  something  wrong, 
I  sent  for  Mr.  W.  He  conversed  with  Miss  J. 
for  some  time,  and  she  has  spent  the  day  in  her 
room  alctae.  She  says,  "  Oh,  I  am  so  guilty ! " 
May  she  find  that  Jesus  alone  can  cleanse  her 
from  guilt.  Mr.  TV.  went  into  the  school  and 
addressed  a  few  words  to  the  pupils,  as  they 
repeated  yesterday's  texts.  —  Oh,  how  much 
grace  do  we  need  at  this  crisis  !  I  am  willing 
to  take  up  my  cross,  but  much  fear  that  I  shall 
be  indiscreet  in  my  advice.  I  feel  that  prayer 
is  my  surest  refuge,  my  only  hope  for  doing 
good,  and  I  will  plead  with  my  heavenly  Father 
to  put  words  into  my  mouth;— to  teach  me  that 
I  may  teach  others. 

Sabbath,  Oct.  31.  The  past  week  has  been 
one  that  will  long  be  remembered.  "  The  Lord 


172  THE   SISTERS. 

hath  done  great  things  for  us,  whereof  we  are 
glad."  Seven  of  our  little  flock  have  found  the 
Saviour  precious.  In  some  hearts  the  tempest 
has  raged  fearfully,  but  Christ  has  spoken  peace, 
and  now  there  is  a  great  calm.  For  two  days, 
Miss  C.  was  in  the  deepest  distress,  and  it  was 
almost  heart-rending  to  hear  her  cries  for  mercy. 
Thursday  night,  we  were  up  with  her  until  after 
midnight.  Just  before  twelve,  she  seemed  more 
calm,  and  entertained  a  trembling  hope  that  her 
sins  were  forgiven.  The  next  morning,  before 
we  were  dressed,  she  knocked  at  our  door,  and 
without  waiting  for  us  to  open  it,  she  came  in 
crying,  "  Oh,  I  wras  deceived  last  night,  what 
shall  I  do  ?  "  and  then,  •«  I  will  seek  until  I  find.'7 
She  threw  herself  on  her  knees  and  there  re- 
mained through  the  day,  the  picture  of  despair. 
But  in  the  evening,  God  whispered  peace,  and 
she  came  down  stairs  with  such  a  sweet  smile 
on  her  countenance  that  none  could  doubt  the 
greatness  of  the  change.  Two  others  enter- 
tained a  hope  the  same  evening, — Miss  W.  and 
one  of  the  day  scholars.  The  young  ladies  in 
our  family  have  a  little  prayer  meeting  every 
evening,  which  all  attend,  and  we  are  hoping  for 
a  still  greater  blessing.  Oh,  why  should  our 
faith  be  so  weak  that  it  can  not,  like  God's  love, 
embrace  them  all  ? 


REVIVAL   IN   THE   SEMINARY.  173 

Miss  B.  was  one  of  the  first  awakened.  Friday 
evening,  while  in  prayer  with  E.  C.,  her  distress 
was  very  great.  Hearing  her  groans  and  cries 
I  went  up  stairs,  and  on  entering  her  room,  she 
threw  her  arms  around  me,  asking  me  so  earn- 
estly what  she  should  do,  and  saying,  "  Oh !  I 
will  be  a  Christian."  When  she  came  down  to 
the  prayer  meeting  she  seemed  changed,  and 
has  continued  in  a  happier  frame  of  mind  since. 
All  seem  ready  to  take  up  the  cross  and  go  to 
work  for  Christ. 

This  noon  in  my  Sabbath  School  class  I  had 
some  personal  conversation  with  J.  S.  She  has 
no  hope  in  Christ,  but  promised  to  give  the  sub- 
ject serious  attention  immediately.  Oh,  how 
my  heart  ought  to  overflow  with  gratitude  when 
I  recount  all  God's  dealings  with  me  !  Truly  I 
have  been  led  in  a  way  which  I  knew  not.  For 
ever  praised  be  my  Saviour,  that  I  am  allowed 
the  blessed  privilege  of  bearing  a  humble  part 
in  this  holy  work. 

I  had  some  conversation  with  M.  C.  when  we 
were  walking  on  Friday,  and  her  feelings  seemed 
very  tender.  Miss  H.  has  just  been  talking  with 
her  again,  and  she  hopes  she  has  given  her  heart 
to  Christ.  If  so,  she  is  the  eighth  over  whom 
we  hope  angels  in  heaven  have  rejoiced  during 
the  last  week. 


174  THE     SISTERS. 

Nov.  7.  The  attention  of  some  of  our  day 
scholars,  particularly  of  the  younger  portion, 
seems  to  have  been  arrested,  and  some  of  the 
little  ones  think  they  have  resolved  to  serve  the 
Lord. 

22d.  I  intend  to  invite  my  scholars,  who 
have  an  interest  at  the  throne  of  grace,  to 
remain  with  me  after  school  to-morrow  to  ask 
for  a  more  abundant  outpouring  of  God's  Spirit 
here.  The  Lord  direct  me  in  all  my  doings. 

Hart  Female  Seminary,  Nov.  23,  1853. 
To  REV.  D.  H.  T.,  OF  MT.  CARMEL. 

DEAR  SIR  :  —  I  am  very  happy  to  have  the 
privilege  of  acknowledging  the  receipt  of  a  let- 
ter from  you,  and  to  know  that  though  out  of 
sight,  I  am  not  entirely  forgotten  by  my  pastor. 
Truly,  the  Lord  hath  done  great  things  for  us 
here.  Fifteen  of  our  pupils,  including  four  or 
five  little  girls,  have  come  out,  as  we  hope,  on 
the  Lord's  side.  The  work  commenced  in  a 
very  quiet  way,  and  has  thus  gone  on  to  the 
present  time. 

I  need  not  tell  you  IIOAV  entirely  inadequate  I 
have  felt  myself  to  occupy  the  position  in  which 
I  am  placed.  When  I  have  stopped  to  reflect 
that  the  salvation  of  an  immortal  soul  may 
depend  upon  a  word  fitly  spoken,  then  I  have 


ENGAGEMENT    OF   A    MATRON.  175 

felt  how  weak  I  am.  I  know  that  it  is  a  mo- 
mentous responsibility,  ever,  to  teach ;  but  to 
direct  inquiring  souls  to  Christ,  to  point  out 
clearly  the  way  of  salvation,  to  tell  when  to 
warn,  when  to  entreat,  when  to  encourage 
hope,  —  to  speak  a  word,  and  the  right  one,  to 
all, —  to  distinguish  between  excited  feeling 
and  genuine  conviction  of  sin,  requires  wis- 
dom and  grace  such  as  can  be  gained  only  by 
experience  and  the  teachings  of  God's  Spirit. 
And  what  am  I,  that  I  should  attempt  to  guide 
others?  "  Can  the  blind  lead  the  blind?" 

We  have  now  forty-five  pupils  in  our  school, 
and  eighteen  in  our  family.  I  have  been  mat- 
ron, principal,  and  all  together,  but  we  now 
have  a  new  helpmeet,  and  I  am  hoping  to  be  a 
little  less  burdened  with  care. 

The  "helpmeet"  here  mentioned  was  MissH., 
an  estimable  lady,  who  had  now  been  employed 
as  matron.  She  entered  warmly  into  the  plans 
of  the  teachers  and  their  labors  for  the  good  of 
their  pupils,  and  was  a  very  valuable  aid  to  the 
success  of  the  institution. 

The  subsequent  deportment  of  a  few  of  those 
who  now  entertained  hope  was  not  altogether 
such  as  Elizabeth  desired,  and  it  filled  her  mind 
with  much  anxiety  and  distress.  She  feared 


1T6'  THE     SISTERS. 

that  her  own  influence  over  them  was  not  what 
it  should  be,  and  records  in  her  journal  many 
expressions  of  apprehension  as  to  the  result. 

I  resolved,  she  writes,  last  Sabbath,  to  invite 
them  to  remain  after  school  on  Monday,  and 
urge  them  to  be  wholly  devoted  to  Christ,  —  to 
labor  for  him  as  good  stewards,  and  to  be  care- 
ful not  to  bring  reproach  upon  his  cause.  I  felt 
it  to  be  a  great  cross,  but  my  Saviour  helped 
me  to  bear  it,  and  gave  me  words  to  speak. 
Fourteen  of  my  pupils  remained,  and  some 
were  absent  who,  I  think,  are  Christians. 

Sabbath,  Dec.  4.  Mr.  W.  preached  this  after- 
noon on  entire  submission  to  God ;  showing  that 
we  must  accept  salvation,  if  we  ever  have  it, 
on  God's  terms.  He  will  not  stoop  to  accommo- 
date himself  to  us,  but  we  must  receive  his 
offers  just  as  they  are,  and  yield  ourselves 
wholly  to  him.  Oh !  I  do  believe  that  I  am 
ready  to  make  this  consecration. 

"  Here,  Lord,  I  give  myself  away, 
'T  is  all  that  I  can  do." 

Take  me  and  do  with  me  just  as  seemeth 
good  in  thy  sight ;  deprive  me  of  all  that  I  pos- 
sess, of  health  and  of  life  itself,  if  need  be,  but, 
0  Lord,  I  must  be  at  peace  with  thee.  I  can 
not  live  so  far  away  from  thee.  My  heart  is 


CLOSE    OF   THE    TERM.  177 

breaking  in  view  of  my  ingratitude  to  thee,  and 
the  many  mercies  with  which  thou  hast  all  my 
life  crowned  my  pathway.  Grant  me  the  light 
of  thy  countenance,  and  the  smile  of  thine  ap- 
proval ;  't  is  all  that  I  desire. 

The  close  of  the  term  was  now  near  at  hand. 
Elizabeth  anticipated  the  vacation  with  much 
eagerness,  for  she  was  anxious  to  be  with  her 
sister  Fannie,  who  was  manifestly  approaching 
her  end.  Intelligence  of  her  decline  had  been 
frequently  received,  and  nothing  but  the  deep 
interest  of  the  work  in  which  she  was  engaged 
kept  her  from  hastening  home  at  once.  The 
last  entry  in  her  journal;  for  the  term,  breathes 
the  fervency  of  her  desires  for  the  conversion 
of  her  remaining  pupils. 

Dec.  18.  To-day  have  been  reading  to  the 
young  ladies  from  Abbie's  journal.  They  were 
much  interested  in  it,  and  some  of  them  seemed 
much  affected.  Oh  that  it  may  be  blessed  to 
the  salvation  of  their  souls  !  Some  of  the  most 
promising  among  them,  who  seem  to  have  every 
thing  but  the  one  thing  needful,  are  almost  con- 
tinually in  my  thoughts.  Nothing  but  the  grace 
of  God  can  renew  their  hearts,  and  to  him  do  I 
commend  them,  earnestly  praying  that  our  circle 
12 


178  THE     SISTERS. 

may  not  be  broken  at  the  last  day.  May  we  all 
unite  in  singing  the  songs  of  redeeming  love 
for  ever. 

The  labors  of  the  school  are  now  to  be  ex- 
changed for  those  of  the  sick  room.  It  is  an 
appropriate  place  in  which  to  speak  of  that 
loved  sister,  to  sketch  another  picture  of  youth- 
ful piety,  and  behold  how,  sustained  by  it,  the 
beautiful  and  tender  may  die  1 


FANNIE.  179 


CHAPTER   IX. 

Fannie  —  Her  early  character—  Conversion  —  Diary  —  Efforts  of  use- 
fulness 

FANNIE,  the  youngest  of  the  three,  was,  in 
most  respects,  much  like  her  sisters.  In  her 
natural  love  of  books  and  study  she  even  ex- 
celled them.  Reading'  aloud  to  her  mother,  and 
especially  to  her  aged  grandmother,  was  one  of 
her  favorite  occupations.  Often,  in  her  early 
childhood,  would  she  follow  her  mother  about 
with  her  book,  amid  the  labors  of  the  house- 
hold, reading,  asking  questions,  and  manifesting 
eager  desires  for  gaining  knowledge  on  every 
subject. 

In  her  temperament  she  was  quick,  ardent, 
impatient  of  reproof,  though  easily  influenced 
by  an  appeal  to  her  better  feelings.  She  early 
manifested  a  mature  cast  of  thought  and  ex- 
pression, so  that  her  letters  and  writings  at  the 
age  of  twelve  appear  more  like  the  productions 
of  one  twice  her  age  than  those  of  a  mere  child. 
The  writer  remembers  an  occasion  in  which  the 


180  THE     SISTERS. 

pupils  of  her  sister's  school  in  Mount  Carmel 
prepared  "  compositions  "  for  prizes,  of  which 
he  was  one  of  the  committee  of  award.  One 
of  the  pieces,  not  then  known  to  be  hers,  was 
noticed  as  far  superior  to  the  rest ;  but  the  ma- 
turity of  thought  and  style  displayed  in  it  led 
him  to  doubt  its  having  been  written  by  any  of 
the  pupils,  and  the  prize  was,  on  this  account, 
adjudged  to  another  piece.  The  gratification 
of  this  indirect  compliment  to  its  merit  amply 
consoled  her  for  the  loss,  and  an  extra  prize  was 
privately  conferred  upon  her,  as  a  compensa- 
tion. 

Fannie's  attention  was  first  effectively  awa- 
kened to  the  subject  of  religion  in  the  spring 
of  1849,  when  she  was  eleven  years  old.  A 
work  of  grace  was  then  enjoyed  in  Mt.  Carmel, 
in  which  a  considerable  number  of  the  youth 
were  embraced.  She  has  left  on  record  the  fol- 
lowing account  of  her  experience  at  this  time, 
having,  like  Elizabeth,  commenced  a  private 
journal  of  her  life  immediately  after  Abbie's 
death,  and,  evidently,  in  imitation  of  her  ex- 
ample. 

The  commencement  of  my  religious  impres- 
sions I  owe,  under  God,  to  my  mothers  prayers. 
Often,  when  I  was  quite  small,  and  slept  in  her 


HER    CONVERSION.  181 

room,  I  would  be  awakened  by  her  voice ;  and, 
as  I  listened  to  her  and  my  father  in  earnest 
prayer  for  their  children,  I  wept  in  silence,  and 
felt  that  I  ought  to  love  God.  Alas !  when 
morning  came,  I  forgot  those  feelings  in  play, 
and  was  as  thoughtless  as  ever.  Yet  those  im- 
pressions have  never  been  wholly  effaced. 
About  three  years  ago  it  pleased  God  to  pour 
out  his  Holy  Spirit  upon  this  community,  and  I 
then  hoped  that  I  obtained  an  interest  in  Christ. 
I  believe  that  the  weekly  inquiry  meetings 
which  were  held  at  the  house  of  our  pastor, 
and  the  little  afternoon  prayer  meetings  with 
Mrs.  W.,  were  blessed  to  my  soul.  I  felt  then 
a  new  life  within  me,  and  longed  to  do  some- 
thing for  the  cause  of  my  Saviour.  But  as  the 
interest  subsided  I  was,  in  a  measure,  drawn 
back  to  the  world,  and  I  grieve  to  say  that  I 
can  recall  seasons  spent  in  the  closet  in  which  I 
had  no  enjoyment,  but  prayer  was  a  cold  and 
heartless  exercise.  Thanks  be  to  God  that  he 
did  not  cut  me  off  from  his  favor,  but  has,  I 
hope,  led  me  by  my  failures  to  see  my  own 
weakness,  and  trust  alone  in  him.  God  grant 
that  I  may  never  more  go  astray. 

These    "  afternoon    prayer    meetings "   were 
occasions  of  much  interest.  They  were  attended 


182  THE     SISTERS. 

by  the  young  girls  of  the  village,  many  of  whom 
in  turn,  led  in  prayer.  The  propriety  of  her 
language,  and  the  glow  and  fervor  of  her  feel- 
ings in  these  exercises  will  never  be  forgotten. 

Often,  likewise,  did  the  pupils  of  the  school 
remain,  after  dismission,  for  a  prayer  meeting 
by  themselves.  A  lady  residing  in  the  house 
where  the  school  was  temporarily  held,  says 
that  she  frequently  overheard  these  children  at 
their  devotions,  and  was  much  impressed  with 
the  earnestness  and  solemnity  with  which  they 
were  conducted. 

The  death  of  Abbie  exerted  a  very  marked 
influence  upon  Fannie.  It  led  to  a  new  conse- 
cration of  herself  to  God,  and  awakened  a 
strong  desire  to  imitate  one  who  had  so  beauti- 
fully exemplified  the  power  and  blessedness  of 
religion.  Her  private  journal  was  then  com- 
menced, and  continued  for  about  a  year,  till  she 
was  called  to  follow  the  dear  departed  through 
a  similar  scene  of  triumph  to  her  rest.  This 
journal,  with  a  few  letters  to  her  friends,  will 
exhibit,  with  peculiar  interest,  her  religious 
character  and  history  during  this  period. 

Saturday,  Aug.  14,  1852. 
I   have   been  some  time  considering  what  I 
believe  to  be  my  duty,  if  I  have  any  reason  to 


GOVERNMENT   OF   TEMPER.  183 

think  myself  a  child  of  God.  I  am  desirous  to 
unite  with  his  people,  but  have  had  misgivings 
lest  I  should  fall  short  of  my  profession.  I  wish 
to  fill  sister  A.'s  place,  not  only  in  the  family, 
but  in  the  church  ;  and  though  this  I  feel  to  be 
impossible,  yet  I  may  by  divine  assistance  do 
something.  I  think  her  place  ought  not  to  be 
vacant  over  even  one  communion.  One  reason 
that  influences  me  strongly  to  this  important  step 
is  that  I  think  it  may  be  easier  for  me  to  speak 
to  others  on  the  subject  of  their  salvation.  If  I 
know  my  own  heart,  I  do  desire  to  be  the  means 
of  converting  some  souls,  for  as  yet  I  have  done 
nothing  in  the  vineyard  of  the  Lord. 

18th.  Oh,  when  shall  I  learn  to  govern  my 
temper  and  set  a  watch  over  my  tongue !  I 
have  hoped  that  I  should  so  fill  sister  A.'s  place 
as  in  some  measure  to  lessen  'ma's  and  sister's 
grief  at  her  removal,  but  I  am  afraid  that  as 
they  see  my  perverseness,  they  will  feel  more 
and  more  the  want  of  her  kind  and  gentle  in- 
fluence upon  the  family  circle.  I  do  earnestly 
desire  to  overcome  this  evil  temper,  and  the  sins 
which  so  easily  beset  me,  and  live  a  life  of  true 
devotedness  to  Christ,  but  it  seems,  at  times,  as 
if  Satan  had  dominion  over  me.  "Am  I  his  or 
am  I  not?" 

20th.  Yesterday  morning  my  mother  and  my- 


184  THE     SISTERS. 

self  visited  my  sister's  grave,  after  which  I  called 
on  C.j  and  said  a  few  words  to  her  upon  the  im- 
portance of  making  her  peace  with  God.  I  do 
not  know  the  state  of  her  mind,  but  she  seemed 
quite  tender,  and  I  feel  that  I  ought  to  do  all  in 
my  power  to  lead  her  to  Christ.  We  have  been 
bosom  companions  for  more  than  three  years, 
and  have  been  in  the  habit  of  confiding  to  each 
other  what  we  would  to  none  else  ;  and  now  if 
we  were  both  Christians,  we  might  be  a  great 
help  to  each  other,  and  be  the  humble  instru- 
ments of  leading  some  of  our  impenitent  friends 
to  Christ.  0  God,  help  me  to  be  faithful. 

Soon  after,  she  addressed  to  this  young  friend 
the  following  note  :  — 

DEAR  C.  I  am  obliged  to  stay  at  home  from 
school  to-day.  But  I  have  something  to  say  to 
you  which  for  some  time  I  have  felt  it  my  duty 
to  say,  but  have  not  had  courage.  Have  you 
yet  given  yourself  in  sweet  submission  to  Christ  ? 
I  hope  you  have,  but  know  not.  I  feel,  or  at 
least  hope,  that  I  have  some  interest  in  Christ. 
We  have  long  been,  I  trust,  friends  in  a  worldly 
sense,  but  have  we  been  united  by  the  love  of 
God  ?  I  have  long  prayed  for  your  conversion, 
but  I  fear  that  I  have  not  lived  as  I  ought,  and 


LETTER    TO    C.  185 

that  I  have  done  wrong  in  neglecting  to  express 
to  you  these  feelings  of  my  heart.  As  I  love 
you  and  desire  your  happiness,  I  beg  you  to 
consider  these  things. 

You  know  that?  during  the  last  revival,  some 
of  the  girls  who  were  seeking  to  become  children 
of  God,  met  at  Mrs.  W.'s  and  had  a  little  prayer 
meeting,  and  afterwards  we  met  by  ourselves 
after  school,  I  think,  once  a  week.  I  found  that 
these  were  a  great  benefit  to  me,  and  I  trust  to 
others  that  attended  them ;  and  I  have  been 
thinking  whether  we  might  not  find  it  profitable 
thus  to  meet  Wednesdays  and  Fridays  to  pray 
for  each  other,  and  for  those  around  us. 

I  pray  that  you  may  become  a  humble,  active 
Christian.  I  do  not  say  this  because  I  feel  capa- 
ble of  leading  you  to  Jesus.  Par  from  it.  But 
I  say  it  in  love,  and  ask  you  to  go  to  him  who 
can  render  all  needed  assistance.  It  is  hard  for 
me  thus  to  write,  but  as  it  is  written  in  love,  I 
hope  you  will  receive  it  kindly  and  admit  Christ 

into  your  heart. 

Yours,  for  ever, 

FANNIE. 

26th.  I  have  attended  the  prayer  meeting  this 
evening,  and  know  not  when  I  have  enjoyed 
it  so  much.  I  called  for  M.  to  go  with  me,  and 
as  A.  was  there,  they  both  went.  I  intend  to 


186  THE   SISTERS. 

make  a  practice  of  getting  some  one  to  accom- 
pany me  every  week. 

29th.  To-day  brother  S.  and  myself  were  ex- 
amined  for  admission  to  the  church.  I  thank 
God  that  he  put  it  into  S.'s  heart  to  come  for- 
ward  with  me.  Oh,  may  we  not  be  deceived, 
but  set  such  an  example  before  our  companions, 
and  make  such  efforts  for  their  salvation  as  shall 
lead  them  to  see  that  we  have  been  with  Jesus ! 

Sept.  1.  M.  P.  came  yesterday  to  spend  a 
day  or  two  with  us,  and  I  was  not  permitted 
last  evening  such  a  season  of  retirement  as  I 
usually  have.  Although  I  did  not  neglect  my 
private  duties,  yet  I  was  not  alone  where  I  could 
pour  out  my  whole  soul  to  God  feeling  that  no 
eye  but  his  beheld  me.  But  this  morning  I 
have  stolen  away  from  her  and  my  cousin,  for  a 
little  while,  and  am  now  alone  with  my  God. 
Oh,  blessed  privilege  of  prayer  !  I  do  feel  that 
there  is  no  employment  I  love  so  well.  In  the 
few  enjoyments  of  this  world,  there  is  nothing 
that  can  satisfy  the  longings  of  a  thirsty  soul, 
but  here  I  can  pour  out  my  heart  to  God,  feeling 
that  he  will  hear  and  bless  beyond  all  that  I  can 
ask  or  think.  And  this  room  seems  to  shed  a 
hallowed  influence  on  my  soul,  for  it  leads  me  to 
think  of  our  dear  Abbie  and  her  glorious  em- 
ployments in  heaven.  Since  her  death,  most  of 


PROFESSION   OF   RELIGION.  187 

my  seasons  of  retirement  nave  been  spent  here, 
and  I  feel  that  I  do  enjoy  them. 

8th.  Cousin  E.  went  home  last  Saturday  and 
I  accompanied  her,  but  came  back  this  morning. 
I  had  a  very  pleasant  visit,  yet  I  am  glad  to  be 
at  home,  for  here  I  can  come  to  the  throne  of 
grace  at  any  time  without  interruption.  Before 
retiring  for  the  night  we  had  some  precious 
seasons  of  prayer  together,  and  in  the  morning 
I  arose  before  the  rest,  that  I  might  have  some 
time  to  be  alone.  These  seasons  I  enjoyed  more 
than  any  other  part  of  my  visit. 

12th.  This  day  has  been  one  of  peculiar  inter- 
est to  my  soul.  I  could  not  attend  church  this 
morning  on  account  of  the  storm,  as  I  have  a  bad 
cold,  but  I  enjoyed  a  precious  season  of  commu- 
nion with  God.  Went  in  the  afternoon,  and  S. 
and  myself  publicly  professed  our  faith  in  Christ. 
It  was  with  peculiarly  interesting  feelings  that 
I  took  this  important  step.  When  I  think  that 
I  am  to  occupy  the  seat  at  the  table  of  the  Lord 
which  has  been  left  vacant  by  my  dear  departed 
sister,  I  feel  that  my  responsibilities  are  indeed 
great.  She  was  a  valuable  member  of  the 
church,  and  I  ought  by  every  means  in  my 
power  to  fill  her  place.  God  helping  me,  I  will 
try. 

17th.  I  have  commenced  to  take  charge  of  the 


188  THE    SISTERS. 

younger  department  of  E.'s  school.  I  have  now 
but  eight  pupils,  but  I  love  to  teach  them,  and 
I  pray  for  grace  to  teach  them  not  only  to  im- 
prove their  minds  but  their  hearts.  I  have  great 
need  to  watch  carefully  and  constantly  my  con- 
duct, for  I  have  taken  the  vows  of  God  upon  me, 
and  others  are  looking  to  see  whether  there  is 
really  any  difference  between  me  and  them. 

31st.  My  heart  is  overflowing  with  love  to 
God  for  all  his  mercies  towards  me.  Our  prayer 
meeting  was  held  last  evening.  A.  and  E.  came 
up  from  school  in  order  to  attend  it,  and  passed 
the  night  with  me.  I  felt  that  then  was  the 
time  to  speak  with  A.  upon  the  concerns  of  her 
soul.  She  was  very  much  affected,  and  told  me 
that  she  had  never  felt  so  before.  I  prayed 
with  her  and  it  was  a  long  time  before  she  could 
rise  from  her  knees.  She  said  she  wanted  to 
give  her  heart  to  Christ,  but  she  did  not  know 
how.  I  could  only  point  her  to  Jesus  and  com- 
mend her  to  God.  We  went  to  meeting.  She 
said  she  enjoyed  it  very  much,  for  she  felt  it  was 
jusi  what  she  needed,  and  yet  she  did  not  feel 
Christ  to  be  her  Saviour.  We  knelt  in  prayer 
— joined  by  E.  This  time  A.  tried  to  pray,  and 
her  prayer  I  trust  was  answered.  Some  fifteen 
or  twenty  minutes  after  we  retired  she  whis- 
pered to  me,  "  I  think  I  do  now  feel  the  love  of 


PRIVATE   DEVOTION.  189 

Christ  in  my  heart."  Oh,  what  joyful  news  was 
this  !  We  awoke  very  early  in  the  morning  and 
her  first  words  were,  "  Oh,  I  am  so  happy,  my 
wonder  is  that  I  could  have  lived  so  long  in 
sin  ! "  She  has  indeed  appeared  to-day  like  a 
changed  person. — E.  says  that  her  own  mind 
has  been  more  than  usually  interested  in  religion 
and  she  wants  to  come  to  Christ,  but  something 
is  in  the  way.  0  Lord,  remove  this  "  something/7 
and  make  her  truly  thine.* 

So  numerous  at  this  time  were  the  family  at 
home,  that  Fannie,  as  did  Abbie  at  a  former 
period,  found  great  difficulty  in  securing  the 
needful  privacy  for  her  hours  of  devotion.  This 
will  explain  the  following  extract.  What  can 
be  more  touching  than  a  young  girl  of  fourteen 
recording  such  sad  lamentations  that  she  can 
find  no  where  a  place  for  undisturbed  retirement 
and  prayer  ? 

Oct.  18.     Oh  that  I  might  have  a  place  where 

*The  young  ladies  here  spoken  of  have  now,  we  trust,  been  reunited 
to  her  who  so  ardently  sought  their  salvation.  A.  from  this  time  ap- 
peared a  decided  Christian  and  was  soon  after  received  to  the  church. 
She  subsequently  fell  a  victim  to  that  same  scourge  of  our  climate,  con- 
sumption, and  died  in  the  spring  of  1858  Her  death  was  eminently 
peaceful  and  happy  E  too,  died  of  the  same  disease  and  on  the  very 
same  week.  In  her  sickness,  it  is  believed  that  the  "  something  "  which 
had  so  long  kept  her  from  Christ  was  removed,  and  her  last  hours  were 
cheered  by  his  presence  and  support. 


190  THE   SISTERS. 

I  could  go  and  commune  with  God  and  know 
that  I  should  not  be  interrupted  !  After  dear 
sister  Abbie  died  I  felt  that  I  could  get  nearest 
to  God  in  her  room,  and  loved  to  go  there  for 
prayer,  but  I  was  obliged  to  give  up  that  sacred 
place.  I  then  went  to  the  carriage  house,  but 
this  I  could  not  long  do  unobserved,  and  I  next 
resorted  to  the  north  chamber.  Here  for  a  time 
I  was  not  interrupted,  and  I  had  just  begun  to 
be  thankful  for  the  privilege,  when  even  this 
was  taken  from  me.  This  made  my  tears  flow, 
and  it  seemed  as  if  my  last  refuge  was  forbidden 
me.  My  mother  has  spoken  to  me  recently  for 
being  late  at  breakfast.  I  know  I  ought  to  be 
punctual,  but  I  do  not  feel  as  if  I  wanted  break- 
fast till  I  have  first  thanked  God  for  his  protec- 
tion and  besought  his  guidance  ;  and  the  morn- 
ings are  so  short  that  I  have  no  time  for  this 
before  breakfast.  I  am  going  to  ask  'ma  to  wake 
me  in  the  morning  as  soon  as  she  rises,  and  at 
that  hour  I  hope  I  can  have  the  north  chamber. 
Nov.  13.  Have  been  very  anxious  to  go  to 
the  city  that  I  might  purchase  some  tracts  for 
distribution.  To-day  was  enabled  to  do  so.  I 
spent  two  or  three  hours  at  the  Depository  very 
pleasantly.  I  ask  God's  blessing  upon  these 
tracts,  and  on  all  my  endeavors  to  do  good,  and 
desire  to  be  more  faithful  in  duty  hereafter. 


ORDINATION   OF    REY.    MR.    T.  191 

15th.  What  can  I  do  to  save  the  souls  around 
me  ?  Something  must  be  done,  and  WHAT  CAN 
I  DO? 

Jan.  5.  I  have  just  retired  to  my  room  to 
review  the  scenes  of  this  day,  so  full  of  solemn 
interest.  Rev.  Mr.  T.  has  to-day  been  ordained 
as  the  pastor  of  this  people  ;  and  how  thankful 
we  ought  to  be  that  we  are  again  granted  so 
rich  a  blessing.  Never  did  I  attend  a  service 
so  interesting,  and  so  well  calculated  to  make  us 
all  feel  the  responsibilities  devolving  upon  us. — 
May  the  services  of  this  day  and  the  labors  of 
our  beloved  pastor  be  a  savor  of  life  unto  life  to 
multitudes  of  undying  souls. 

The  following  will  serve  to  show  her  fidelity 
to  herself  in  discerning  and  correcting  her  faults. 

March  1.  I  have  just  been  unkind  to  E.  D. 
(her  younger  brother.)  Oh,  when  shall  I  learn 
to  govern  this  wicked  temper  ?  I  do  not  enough 
consider  what  an  influence  I  am  exerting  over 
my  little  brothers.  I  have  asked  God  to  forgive 
me.  I  will  ask  the  same  of  E.  D.,  and  endeavor 
in  the  strength  of  Christ  not  to  give  way  to  this 
infirmity  again. 

DEAR  E.  D. — I  am  very  sorry  that  I  was  so 
unkind  to  you,  I  have  been  praying  God  to 


192  THE   SISTERS. 

forgive  me  and  I  trust  he  has  washed  away  my 
sin.  And  now  I  want  to  ask  if  you  will  forgive 
me,  and  Christ  helping  me  I  will  try  to  be  kinder 
and  better  in  future.  God  sees  all  that  we  do, 
and  knows  all  our  thoughts.  I  wish  we  could 
all  love  and  serve  God  always  who  has  sent  his 
Son  to  die  for  us  sinners.  Will  you  forgive  me  ? 
Prom  your  wicked,  but  sorry  sister, 

FANNIE. 

March  21.  I  left  a  note  for  C.  to-day,  in  which 
I  urged  upon  her  the  necessity  of  coming  to 
Jesus.  I  know  that  I  can  effect  nothing  of  my- 
self, but  I  pray  for  the  blessing  of  God  upon  it, 
and  do  hope  that  she  will  be  brought  to  him. 

Monday  morning. 

MY  BEAR  C.:  —  Oh  that  I  could  express  to 
you  the  feelings  I  have  had  this  morning  of  love 
to  your  undying  soul !  This  lovely  morning 
reminds  me  of  the  time  when  the  saintly  spirit 
of  our  Abbie  winged  its  flight  to  heaven.  I 
have  been  reviewing,  with  sad  pleasure,  those 
last  days  that  she  spent  here  ;  and,  as  I  think 
how  she  was  enabled  to  bear  with  such  Chris- 
tian fortitude  and  patience  all  her  sufferings, 
and  soar,  with  faith  and  holy  joy,  above  this 
world,  I  long  to  possess,  and  have  others  pos- 


LETTER   TO    C.  193 

sess,  the  same  blessed  hope.  Nor  have  I  for- 
gotten those  words,  which  she  uttered  with  so 
much  earnestness,  "  Oh  !  do  tell  them  all,  —  tell 
every  body  of  the  love  of  Jesus,  and  urge  them 
to  flee,  without  delay,  to  him  their  only  hope.77 
Will  you  not  come  now,  dear  C.,  and  find  in 
Christ  those  joys  which  you  can  have  no  where 
else  ?  Your  neglected  Saviour  has  long  borne 
with  you,  and  will  you  longer  refuse  his  prof- 
fered mercy  ?  Will  you  reject  the  Lord,  who 
bought  you  with  his  own  Uoodj  and  still  showers 
unnumbered  blessings  along  your  path  ?  Oh  !  I 
ask  you  to  consider  the  debt  of  love  you  owe  to 
him,  and  grieve  him  no  longer  by  despising  his 
glorious  offers. 

May  there  be  joy  in  heaven  over  another  soul 
saved  by  the  matchless  grace  of  the  Redeemer, 
is  the  constant  and  earnest  prayer  of  your 

affectionate  companion, 

FANNIE.* 


*  Even  as  we  now  write,  C.  has  been  called  away.  The  faithful  coun- 
sels and  prayers  of  her  young  friend  were  not  in  vain.  She  yielded 
her  heart  to  the  Saviour,  and  to  great  natural  sweetness  of  disposition 
added  the  yet  higher  graces  of  piety.  In  the  summer  of  1858  she  grad 
uated  with  honor  at  the  Packer  Institute,  in  Brooklyn,  N.  Y.,  and 
came  home  with  a  slight  cough,  which,  alas!  speedily  ripened  into  that 
fatal  malady  which  bears  away  so  many  of  the  young  and  beautiful  to 
the  grave  Her  death  was  more  than  peaceful,  —  it  was  triumphant. 
It  would  be  difficult  to  say  whether  the  influence  of  "  the  sisters  "  upon 
their  pupils  and  companions  was  more  marked  in  teaching  them  how 
to  live,  or  to  die ! 

13 


194  THE     SISTERS. 

March  25.  In  reviewing  my  diary  I  find  so 
many  resolutions  made  and  broken,  and  renewed 
and  re-broken,  that  I  hardly  dare  to  make  any 
more.  But,  if  I  know  my  own  heart,  I  desire 
to  live  nearer  to  Christ,  to  imbibe  his  spirit, 
and  to  follow  him  to  the  end.  Do  thou  help  me, 
0  God,  trusting  in  thee,  and  knowing  that  with- 
out thee  I  am  nothing,  solemnly  to  resolve, 

1.  To  trample  the  world  and  self  under  my 
feet,  and  endeavor  to  place  God  supreme  upon 
the  throne  of  my  heart. 

2.  To  pray  more  earnestly  for  the  welfare  of 
Zion,  and  especially  for  the  dear  souls  that  are 
perishing  around  me  ;  and  to  wrestle  with  God 
daily  for  a  revival  of  his  work  in  this  place. 

3.  To  strive,  from  day  to  day,  to  make  ad- 
vances in  holiness,  and  do  something  for  God's 
glory,   and   to   ask  myself   every   night    what 
record  the  past  day  has  carried  into  eternity. 

4.  To  endeavor  so  to  demean  myself  that  the 
world  shall  "  take  knowledge  of  me  that  I  have 
been  with  Jesus.7' 

5.  To  endeavor  to  overcome  the  secret  sins 
of  my  heart,  such  as  pride,  envy,  &c.     Yea,  to 
pray,  and  strive,  and  wrestle,  till  they  are  en- 
tirely rooted  out. 

6.  To  keep  the  end  of  life  constantly  in  view, 
and   be    daily   preparing   for   it,  so   that  when 


COMPLETION   OF   HER   FIFTEENTH  YEAR.      195 

death  shall  come;  to  call  me  home,  he  may  not 
be  an  unwelcome  messenger. 

These  resolutions  I  will  renew  every  day ; 
and,  in  the  strength  of  God,  for  I  have  none  of 
my  own,  I  will  endeavor  to  keep  them.  So  help 
me,  0  God. 

April  13.  Have  to-day  completed  my  fifteenth 
year ;  and,  as  I  look  back  on  my  sinful  life,  I 
can  not  but  wonder  at  the  goodness  of  God  in 
sparing  me,  that  I  might  repent  of  my  sins  and 
turn  to  him.  Although  I  have  not  made  much 
advancement  in  religion,  I  do  trust  that  I  have 
given  myself  to  God,  to  be  his  for  ever. 

I  have  to-day  visited  my  sister's  grave,  and 
placed  upon  it  a  bunch  of  the  first  wild  flowers 
of  spring,  which  I  plucked,  a  few  days  since, 
from  the  mountain  side.  It  recalls  to  my  mind 
her  words  of  holy  trust,  "  I  shall  very  soon  be 
where  flowers  will  never  fade."  Heavenly 
Father,  help  me  to  commence  this  year  with 
new  purposes  of  heart  to  serve  thee  through 
life,  and  be  prepared  for  a  happy  death,  and  for 
an  entrance  into  that  world  of  light  and  purity 
whither  our  beloved  one  has  gone. 

May  2.  Monday  morning.  0  heavenly  Father, 
help  me,  by  thy  Holy  Spirit,  to  live  this  week 
more  devoted  to  thee.  Let  the  love  of  Christ 
be  shed  into  my  heart,  and  let  the  world  have 


196  THE   SISTERS. 

no  more  dominion  over  me.  This  I  ask  for 
Jesus7  sake.  Amen. 

17th.  Elizabeth  has  gone  to-day  to  Plymouth. 
As  I  think  of  my  dear  sisters,  who  have  done 
so  much  for  me,  and  feel  that  I  am  left  here 
without  them,  I  can  not  refrain  my  tears.  Such 
a  sense  of  loneliness  has  crept  over  me  as  I 
never  felt  before.  I  don't  know  but  this  is 
wrong ;  if  so,  0  God,  forgive  me.  May  I  be 
enabled  to  trust  thee,  and  feel  that  all  my  trials, 
if  rightly  improved,  will  work  for  my  good. 
And  Oh  !  make  me  more  faithful  to  my  dear 
mother,  and  endeavor  to  lessen  her  sorrows  by 
my  readiness  to  do  my  whole  duty.  My  trust 
is  alone  in  thee,  without  thee  I  can  do  nothing. 

May  25.  I  have  just  been  viewing  the  twi- 
light of  the  lovely  Sabbath  eve.  How  should 
such  a  scene  lead  our  thoughts  to  heaven,  and 
to  him  who  reigns  over  all.  How  does  it  im- 
press us  with  his  grandeur  and  power.  "Would 
that  I  could  always  feel  as  I  do  at  such  a  time  ! 

Oh  that  the  Lord  would  pour  out  his  Spirit 
upon  us  and  revive  his  work,  and  that  there 
might  be  a  great  and  general  ingathering  into 
his  garner !  Lord,  remember  my  dear  little 
brothers,  and  bring  them  now,  while  young, 
into  thy  fold ;  and  may  we  all  meet,  an  un- 
broken family  —  not  one  lost  —  in  heaven. 


LETTER   TO   A.  197 

To  A. 

MY  DEAR  A. :  —  I  am  very  glad  to  hear  that 
it  is  still  your  determination  to  live  for  Christ, 
and  it  is  my  daily  prayer  for  you  that  you  may 
not  waver  or  be  led  astray  from  him.  It  seems 
to  me  that  you  ought,  if  you  love  Christ,  to  feel 
it  your  duty  and  high  privilege  to  avow  pub- 
licly your  love  for  him,  and  partake  of  the  em- 
blems of  his  body  and  tlood  which  were  offered 
for  our  sins.  I  do  not  feel  capable  of  advising 
you,  for  it  is  a  solemn  matter,  resting  between 
God  and  your  own  soul ;  but  I  ask  you  to  give  it 
your  most  prayerful  consideration,  and  decide  it 
as  you  believe  God  would  have  you  do.  In  my 
own  experience  I  think  it  has  been  a  shield  to 
me  many  times,  to  remember  that  the  vows  of 
God  are  upon  me,  and  that  I  am  compassed 
about  with  a  great  cloud  of  witnesses,  who  are 
looking  to  see  if  there  is  really  any  love  of 
Jesus  in  my  heart.  Oh  that  I  could  always 
remember  this  ! 

Believe  me,  as  ever,  yours, 

FANNIE. 

July  11.  I  have  this  morning  enjoyed  a 
precious  season  of  communion  with  God.  I 
trust,  (and  hope  I  am  not  deceived,)  that  my 
sins  are  forgiven,  and  that  I  am  accepted  of 


198  THE     SISTERS. 

God  through  Christ.  I  have  been  thinking  of 
the  redeemed  spirits  who  have  gone  before  us, 
and  have  been  reading  some  beautiful  hymns 
about  their  happiness,  and  I  feel  as  if  I  could 
almost  wish  to  go  and  be  with  them.  Oh  that 
through  faith  in  Jesus,  I  may  know  assuredly 

that 

"  God  hath  laid  up  in  heaven  for  me 

A  crown  which  can  not  fade, 
The  righteous  Judge,  at  that  great  day, 
Shall  place  it  on  my  head ! " 

Dear  child  of  God  —  her  desires  were  nearer 
fulfillment  than  she  thought.  A  few  more  short 
months  of  languishing  and  weakness,  yet  of 
delightful  peace  and  joy,  and  that  crown  will 
have  been  attained.  The  flower  that  drooped 
so  early,  amid  its  opening  beauty  and  fragrance, 
shall  be  transplanted  to  bloom  in  the  celestial 
paradise  for  ever ! 


SICKNESS.  199 


CHAPTEE    X. 

Fannie—-  Sickness  and  death. 

IN  the  latter  part  of  July  appeared  the  first 
symptom  of  that  disease  which  was  so  soon  to 
remove  our  Fannie  from  earth.  During  a  visit 
to  Elizabeth,  in  Plymouth,  it  was  noticed  that 
she  had  a  cough,  —  the  effect,  it  was  supposed, 
of  a  slight  cold  recently  taken.  This  cough, 
instead*  of  subsiding,  lingered  from  week  to 
week,  notwithstanding  the  vigorous  use  of  the 
remedies  which  are  usual  in  such  cases,  and  the 
quick  eye  of  maternal  watchfulness  took  the 
alarm.  Her  strength  very  soon  began  to  fail, 
and  her  countenance  to  take  on,  almost  imper- 
ceptibly, those  changes  which  reveal  so  surely 
the  presence  of  the  destroyer  within.  These 
symptoms  were  at  length  mentioned  to  her  by 
her  mother,  who  expressed  her  deep  concern 
for  them,  and  her  fear  that  she,  too,  had  not 
long  to  remain  below. 

How  will  this  youthful  disciple,  looking  out 
on  life  in  all  the  freshness  of  her  young  hopes 


200  THE     SISTERS. 

and  expectations,  receive  such  an  intimation 
as  this? 

In  her  diary,  under  date  of  Aug.  7,  she  writes 
thus : 

I  have  not  been  well  for  a  week,  in  conse- 
quence of  a  severe  cold,  which  has  caused  me  to 
cough  almost  constantly,  and  I  have  but  very  lit- 
tle strength,  so  that  I  shall  be  obliged  to  remain 
away  from  church  to-day.  I  have  slept  with 
'ma  the  past  two  nights,  and  she  told  me  that 
she  thought  my  cough  was  something  more 
than  a  cold,  and  she  was  afraid  that  my  life 
would  be  short.  I  was  surprised,  for  I  had  sup- 
posed it  to  be  only  a  cold,  but  I  trust  I  feel 
resigned  to  the  will  of  God.  I  trust  that  he 
has  forgiven  my  sins  through  the  blood  of  the 
Lamb,  and  I  know  that  "  He  doeth  all  things 
well."  I  wish  to  understand  clearly  my  situa- 
tion. I  do  not  want  to  be  deceived,  and  I  trust 
the  Lord  will  prepare  me  for  all  he  has  in  store 
for  me.  If  he  has  a  work  for  me  on  earth  to 
perform,  I  pray  that  I  may  be  enabled  to  per- 
form it  aright ;  but,  if  he  designs  to  take  me 
away  from  the  sins  and  temptations  of  this  life, 
may  I  be  fitted  to  shine  as  one  of  his  chosen 
ones  in  heaven.  Only  let  me  be  prepared  for 
health  or  sickness,  life  or  death,  and  I  can  com- 


ELIZABETH'S  RETURN.  201 

mit  myself  into  the  hands  of  God,  feeling  that 
he  doeth  right  in  all  things. 

Elizabeth  closed  the  first  term  of  her  school 
August  10.  She  knew  that  Fannie  had  had  a 
severe  cold,  and  some  cough,  but  little  sus- 
pected the  change  which  two  short  weeks  had 
wrought.  Hastening  home  with  fondest  antici- 
pations, she  ran  into  the  room  where  Fannie, 
wrapped  in  her  white  loose  dress,  was  sitting 
by  the  window.  One  glance  at  that  dress,  and 
the  pale  countenance  which  met  her  gaze,  —  so 
vividly  recalling  the  recollection  of  Abbie  in 
her  sickness,  —  revealed  to  her  the  whole  sad 
reality,  and  snatching  hastily  one  kiss,  and  one 
pressure  of  the  hand,  she  rushed  to  another 
room,  and  threw  herself  upon  the  bed  in  a  burst 
of  uncontrollable  grief. 

It  was  thenceforth  her  special  care,  during 
her  five  weeks'  vacation,  to  attend  to  the  invalid. 
All  that  the  tenderest  sisterly  affection  could 
devise  was  done.  To  gather  for  her  the  freshest 
flowers,  to  prepare  the  nicest  delicacies,  to  ride 
with  her,  and  to  guard  against  every  exposure, 
were  her  occupation  and  delight.  She  was  soon 
rewarded  with  the  signs  of  improvement.  The 
cough  abated,  strength  seemed  to  return,  and 
at  the  expiration  of  the  vacation  Elizabeth 


202  THE     SISTERS. 

resumed  her  school,  believing  that  the  danger 
was  nearly  past.  Arrangements  were  even 
made,  in  case  an  assistant  in  the  school  should 
be  needed,  for  Fannie  to  take  that  place. 

Alas  for  human  hopes  !  On  that  very  day 
Fannie  wrote  in  her  journal  for  the  last  time ! 

Sept.  14.  I  have  for  the  past  five  weeks  been 
laid  aside  by  sickness,  and  been  obliged  to  give 
up  writing  in  my  diary,  although  I  often  wished 
it.  I  desire  to  recount  the  loving  kindness  of 
my  heavenly  Father  in  all  the  mercies  which  he 
has  bestowed  upon  me.  Such  kind  parents  to 
care  for  me,  brothers  and  a  sister  to  be  with  me, 
and  thousands  of  blessings  which  many  do  not 
enjoy.  Sister  has  returned  to  P.  to-day.  I 
feel  that  I  shall  miss  her  greatly,  but  the  Lord 
is  with  me  and  I  shall  not  be  alone ;  and  I  hope 
and  trust  she  will  be  more  useful  there. 

Sabbath  before  last  I  rode  to  church,  and 
attended  the  communion.  I  was  much  fatigued 
when  I  came  home,  but  my  soul,  I  trust,  was 
refreshed.  I  have  been  rather  worse  for  a  few 
days  past,  but  feel  a  little  better  to-day,  though 
I  am  very  weak  and  continue  to  cough  some. 
I  know  not  the  designs  of  the  Lord  concerning 
me,  but  I  think  I  feel  resigned  to  his  holy  will. 
Oh  that  I  may  continually  live  prepared,  so  that 


ADVANCING  DISEASE.  203 

when  death  does  come  I  may  enter  joyfully  the 
dark  valley  which  leads  to  the  heavenly  man- 
sions above ! 

It  is  needless  to  recount  the  well-known 
stages  of  that  dread  disease  which  was  now 
rapidly  wearing  away  her  life.  For  a  time  it 
seemed  probable  that  she  might  recover;  but,  as 
the  cool  autumnal  evenings  drew  on,  she  began 
to  have  daily  chills,  and  soon  the  fatal  hec- 
tic burned  upon  her  cheek,  —  life's  last  frail 
flower,  that  blooms  to  deck  the  beautiful  for  the 
grave. 

At  Thanksgiving  her  eldest  brother  being 
about  to  depart,  to  spend  the  winter  at  the 
South,  had  a  long,  affecting  interview  with  her, 
and  they  exchanged  with  each  other  the  part- 
ing farewell.  About  the  same  time  she  was 
removed  into  that  beloved  south  chamber,  which 
had  been  hallowed  to  her  as  the  dying  room  of 
Abbie.  It  had  no  gloom  for  her,  but  when  the 
suggestion  was  made  she  responded  joyfully, 
"  Oh !  yes,  I  love  that  room,  I  would  rather  be 
there  than  any  where  else." 

The  following  brief  note  was  addressed  by 
Fannie,  in  her  weakness,  to  her  second  brother: 


204  THE     SISTERS. 

Dec.  23,  1853. 

DEAR  BROTHER  :  —  I  have  failed  a  good  deal 
since  you  left  home,  and  can  scarcely  guide  my 
pencil,  but  must  write  to  you,  since  it  is  uncer- 
tain whether  we  meet  again  on  earth.  I  feel 
that  the  scenes  of  this  life  will  soon  be  over 
with  me  and  I  shall  enter  into  rest ;  and  how 
pleasing  the  thought  that  so  many  of  our  family 
are  God's  children.  Persevere,  dear  brother,  in 
your  Christian  course,  and  you  shall  at  last  re- 
ceive a  crown  of  life  which  fadeth  not  away. 
Your  affectionate  sister, 

FANNIE. 

Fannie  had  been  very  much  attached  to  the 
Sabbath  School,  especially  to  the  class  of  which 
she  was  teacher,  One  of  her  last  attempts  at 
writing  was  for  the  purpose  of  sending  them  a 
message  of  love,  and  entreaty  that  they  would, 
without  delay,  secure  an  interest  in  Christ.  Be- 
fore, however,  it  was  finished,  her  strength  was 
exhausted  and  she  was  obliged  to  leave  it,  sim- 
ply adding  "  &c."  The  following  is  the  note  : 

MY  DEAR  FRIENDS  :  —  Although  I  can  scarcely 
guide  my  pen,  yet  feeling  as  I  do  for  your  dear 
immortal  souls,  I  can  not  forbear  addressing  a 
word  to  those  whom  I  have  so  long  known  and 


ELIZABETH'S  JOURNAL.  205 

loved,  and  with  whom  I  have  so  long  associated. 
I  long  to  have  you  all  become  the  devoted  fol- 
lowers of  Jesus,  and  show  to  the  world  your 
determination  to  live  for  his  service,  &c. 

The  second  term  of  the  Seminary  closed  Dec. 
22,  and  Elizabeth  hastened  home  to  take  her 
place  by  the  sick  bed.  Henceforth,  as  at  the 
death  of  Abbie,  it  will  be  our  privilege  to  read 
the  record  of  the  last  hours  as  written  by  her 
while  watching  and  waiting  for  the  departure. 

Mt.  Carmel,  Dec.  25.  This  is  the  last  Sab- 
bath of  the  year,  and,  in  all  probability,  the  last 
our  dear  Fannie  will  spend  on  earth.  She  seems 
to  be  sinking  rapidly,  and  says  that  she  shall 
continue  but  little  longer.  I  had  expected  that 
she  would  go  down  in  the  spring,  but  was 
wholly  unprepared  to  find  that  the  time  of  her 
departure  is  so  near.  I  can  scarcely  wish,  how- 
ever, to  have  her  live  to  suffer  as  Abbie  did.  Oh 
how  much  reason  have  wTe  to  rejoice  and  bless 
God  that  she  is  so  well  prepared  to  go  !  Fan- 
nie was  poorly  fitted  to  buffet  the  trials  of  life ; 
and,  should  her  days  be  prolonged,  she  would 
experience  many  conflicts.  When  I  realize  that 
I  shall  soon  be  left  without  a  sister,  it  seems  so 
hard, — but  it  is  better  to  have  sisters  in  heaven 


206  THE     SISTEES. 

than  sisters  on  earth,  because  they  are  there 
safe  in  the  arms  of  a  precious  Saviour,  who  will 
be  to  them  more  than  all  earthly  friends. 


TO   HER   BROTHER    S. 

DEAR  BROTHER  :  —  On  Sunday  Fannie  seemed 
so  very  feeble  that  we  scarcely  expected  she 
would  continue  through  the  day.  She  lay  with 
her  eyes  closed  and  took  almost  nothing,  but 
the  following  night  she  rested  better.  She 
seemed  pleased  with  your  letter,  and  says  she 
is  so  glad  S.  is  a  Christian,  for  the  separation 
will  be  short,  and  we  shall  soon  meet  again. 
How  much  we  have  to  be  grateful  for  !  What 
is  our  affliction,  compared  with  what  it  would 
have  been  had  we  not  abundant  reason  to  be- 
lieve that  she  is  prepared  for  a  home  above. 

On  Sabbath  evening  Fannie  wished  the  chil- 
dren to  be  called  in,  and  gave  them  each  a  little 
keepsake.  Her  smallest  picture,  (the  moonlight 
scene,)  her  gold  ring,  and  one  of  her  books  she 
wished  given  to  you.  She  feels  that  her  worldly 
affairs  are  now  all  arranged,  and  is  calmly  and 
patiently  awaiting  her  summons  home.  Death 
is  to  her  disarmed  of  all  his  terrors,  for  she 
knows  that  her  Saviour's  presence  will  light  up 
the  dark  valley,  and  that  heaven's  portals  will 


SUFFERING.  207 

be  open  to  receive  her.     Blessed  hope  !  is  she 
not  to  be  envied  ? 

LIZZIE. 

Jan.  8.  Our  dear  Fannie  is  still  spared  to  us? 
although  two  weeks  since  we  had  no  thought 
that  she  would  continue  so  long.  Some  days 
she  has  been  comparatively  comfortable,  and 
often  it  has  seemed  as  if  she  could  live  but  little 
longer.  Her  principal  suffering  arises  from  the 
soreness  occasioned  by  having  lain  so  long  in 
one  posture,  and  from  her  swollen  limbs.  On 
Friday  morning  we  supposed  her  dying.  About 
4  o'clock  'ma  lay  down,  and  I  soon  after  observed 
that  F.  breathed  with  great  difficulty  and  opened 
a  door  to  give  her  more  air.  She  said,  "  I  shall 
live  but  little  longer,  I  want  to  see  them  all."  I 
immediately  called  the  family,  and  as  they  came 
in  she  just  whispered,  "  Come,  Lord  Jesus,  come 
quickly."  "We  heard  that  strange  gurgling  sound 
in  her  throat  peculiar  to  a  dying  person,  and 
doubted  not  that  all  would  soon  be  over.  But 
after  a  fit  of  coughing  she  revived,  and  7ma  asked 
her  how  she  felt  when  she  thought  herself  dying. 
She  replied  that  "  she  had  not  a  fear — she  felt 
it  would  be  better  to  depart  and  be  with  Christ." 

We  know  not  how  long  she  may  be  continued 
to  us,  but  it  seems  that  she  must  soon  depart. 


208  THE     SISTERS. 

How  blessed  to  believe  that  she  will  be  taken 
home  to  glory.  There  she  will  meet  two  of  our 
dear  family  who  have  gone  before  her,  never  to 
be  again  separated. 

And  oh,  the  joyous  greetings  of  sister  and  brother  dear, 
As  within  that  blessed  world  above  our  loved  one  shall 

appear ! 

A  happy,  happy  angel  band,  they'll  walk  the  golden  street 
And  cast  their  crowns  of  victory  before  the  Saviour's  feet. 
A  golden  harp  he  '11  give  her,  —  and  a  robe  of  spotless 

white, 

Emblem  of  Heaven's  purity,  shall  clothe  her  spirit  bright. 
Then  every  sorrow  shall  be  past,  and  all  her  pains  and 

fears, 
For  Jesus,  with  his  own  kind  hand,  shall  wipe  away  all 

tears. 
We  would  not,  sister,  keep  thee  here,  when  such  a  home 

above 

Is  waiting  to  receive  thee  —  our  weary,  wounded  dove ; 
But  we  '11  thankfully  resign  thee  to  joys  no  tongue  can  tell, 
And  we'll  bless  our  heavenly  Father  who  doeth  all  things 

well. 

Wednesday  evening,  Jan.  11,  1854. 

"  'T  is  finished,  the  conflict  is  past ! 
The  heaven-born  spirit  has  fled  !  " 

Dear,  dear  Fannie.  She  sleeps  in  Jesus,  and 
is  clothed  now  in  the  white  robes  of  heaven  ! 

On  Sunday  she  had  two  attacks  of  bleeding  at 
the  nose,  and  on  Monday  morning  another  which 


LAST   MOMENTS.  209 

continued  three  hours,  though  not  very  violent. 
Monday  night  she  slept  quietly,  but  was  very 
restless  and  uneasy  through  the  day.  About 
six  on  Tuesday  evening  she  commenced  bleed- 
ing at  the  lungs  when  she  coughed.  I  sat  up 
with  her  alone,  but  as  the  hemorrhage  increased 
I  called  7ma,  about  eleven.  She  coughed  for 
nearly  an  hour  without  cessation,  then  was  able 
to  take  a  little  tea  and  cracker  with  some  pre- 
served peaches.  She  said,  "  How  nice  these 
peaches  are,"  and  admired  a  little  bouquet  which 
Mrs.  M.  had  sent  her.  Many  times  in  looking 
at  those  flowers  she  said,  "  beautiful,  beautiful !  " 
After  a  little  the  coughing  and  bleeding  com- 
menced again,  and  she  said,  "  How  weak  I  am 
getting,  my  days  are  almost  numbered."  At 
one,  we  perceived  a  change  and  hastened  to 
call  'pa.  She  said,  "  I  am  going.  Lord  Jesus, 
receive  my  spirit."  Then  soon  after,  "  My  love 
to  all,  good-by." 

Soon  she  revived  again,  and  said  to  us  many 
precious  things  which  we  can  never  forget.  She 
earnestly  entreated  her  little  brothers  who  were 
weeping  by  her  bed  to  prepare  for  death.  "  Boys," 
said  she,  "you  must  meet  me  in  heaven, — love 
the  Sabbath  School,  learn  your  lessons  well,  and 
try  to  understand  them."  7Pa  repeated  the 
verse,  "  On  Jordan's  rugged  banks  I  stand,"  and 
14 


210  THE     SISTERS. 

as  he  uttered  the  last  line,  she  exclaimed,  "  I  Ve 
no  possessions  here."  'Ma  asked,  "  Would  you, 
if  you  could,  come  back  to  enjoy  worldly  posses- 
sions ?  "  "  Oh  !  no,"  she  quickly  replied,  "  you 
Jcnoiv  I  would  not." 

As  we  stood  almost  broken-hearted  around 
her  bed,  she  looked  up  and  said,  "  Weep  not  for 
me."  'Ma  asked  if  her  Saviour  was  still  precious 
to  her.  She  replied,  "  Extremely  so,"  and  added, 

"'While  on  his  breast  I  lean  my  head 

And  breathe  my  life  out  —  sweetly  there." 

She  seemed  to  gather  all  her  strength  to  empha- 
size the  word  "  sweetly,"  and  as  she  spoke  her 
features  were  lighted  up  with  a  holy,  heavenly 
smile,  such  as  none  but  angels  wear.  Afterwards 
she  sent  a  message  to  brother  S.  "  I  want  him 
not  to  forsake  the  Sabbath  School,  and  to  attend 
the  prayer  meeting."  When  asked  if  she  had 
not  a  message  for  E.  also,  she  said,  "  0  yes,  I 
believe  he  is "  the  rest  her  lips  were  una- 
ble to  utter. 

When  the  clock  struck  two,  she  whispered, 
"  One  hour  nearer  home  ! "  She  seemed  to 
breathe  with  some  difficulty,  and  'ma  said,  "  Je- 
sus has  suffered  death  for  you."  She  replied, 
"  I  do  n't  suffer."  She  continued  to  breathe  till 
nearly  four,  when  heaven's  portals  opened  to 


DEATH. —  FUNERAL.  211 

receive  her,  and  without  a  struggle  she  was  at 
rest. 

Friday,  13th.  Brother  S.  came  home  last  night. 
He  started  immediately  on  receiving  notice  of 
our  bereavement.  I  am  very  glad  to  see  him 
so  calm,  for  I  expected  he  would  be  overcome 
with  grief.  He  and  F.  have  always  been  to- 
gether, and  loved  each  other  so  well.  He  has 
gone  this  afternoon  to  procure  flowers  for  the 
coffin.  I  hope  he  will  succeed,  for  she  loved 
them  fondly.  She  has  now.gone  where  are  more 
beautiful  flowers  than  any  we  know  on  earth, 
herself  a  bud  of  early  promise  fairer  than  them 
all.  I  can  not  weep  for  her  to-day.  The  foun- 
tain of  my  tears  is  dried  up.  Her  features,  cold 
in  death,  yet  wearing  a  heavenly  smile  such  as 
angels  wear,  forbid  us  to  weep.  Sweet,  sweet 
sister.  ?Tis  hard  to  think  of  laying  thee  in  the 
cold  damp  ground,  but  we  know  that  only  the 
casket  will  there  repose,  while  the  gem  will 
sparkle  in  the  Saviour's  diadem  for  ever. 

Saturday  evening,  14th.  Our  dear  Fannie  is 
sleeping  beside  our  sainted  Abbie, — her  spirit 
rests  in  her  Saviour's  bosom.  Precious  thought! 
An  angel  of  light,  her  home  in  Paradise  !  Oh, 
why  should  I  not  love  heaven !  Why  not  love 
him  who  folds  my  sisters  in  his  arms  and  car- 
ries them  in  his  bosom  ! 


212  THE     SISTERS. 


CHAPTER    XL 

Improvement  of  affliction  —  Elizabeth's  return  to  her  school —Renewed 
efforts  of  usefulness  —  Perplexity  as  to  duty  —  Determines  to  relin- 
quish her  charge  —  Close  of  term. 

WORN  with  protracted  labor  in  school  and  by 
the  sick-bed,  and  pressed  with  the  grief  of  her 
second  bereavement,  Elizabeth  was  unfitted  to 
return  at  once  to  her  post  in  the  Seminary.  Pro- 
vision having  been  made  for  a  temporary  supply 
in  her  absence,  she  was  permitted  to  devote  a 
few  weeks  to  quiet  and  rest  at  home.  But 
though  weeks  of  rest,  they  were  not  weeks  of 
idleness.  First,  as  usual,  were  many  faithful 
communings  with  herself,  and  new  plans  and 
purposes  of  spiritual  advancement,  then  earnest 
and  affectionate  correspondence  with  friends, 
describing  the  triumphs  of  grace  which  she  had 
witnessed,  and  filled  with  tender  appeals  to  them 
to  make  similar  attainments  in  preparation  for 
heaven.  In  the  sorrowing  family  circle  at  home 
too,  she  had  a  work  of  comfort  to  perform;  and 
they  only  who  experienced  it  can  tell  how  gently 


CONSOLATIONS.  213 

it  was  done,  shedding  upon  it  the  sweet  light  of 
her  own  chastened  peace  and  joy,  and  beguiling 
by  redoubled  affection  the  loss  which  had  wrung 
all  their  hearts. 

Jan.  16.  Oh7  it  does  one  good  sometimes  to 
weep  !  Tears  relieve  the  overburdened  heart, 
and  it  can  not  be  wrong  to  shed  them.  Jesus 
wept  at  the  grave  of  his  friend,  and  may  we  not 
do  the  same  ?  I  do  not  repine  that  God  has 
taken  my  sisters  from  the  world,  and  I  would  not 
recall  them,  still  when  I  think  of  our  irreparable 
loss,  I  cannot  but  feel  lonely.  It  is  to  me  a  loss 
which  never  can  be  made  up;  there  is  a  vacancy 
in  my  aching  heart  which  none  can  ever  fill. — 
None  !  Ah,  yes — Jesus,  my  Saviour,  will  be  to 
me  more  than  all  the  world  beside  if  I  will  look 
away  to  him.  Blessed  Saviour,  thou  hast  sus- 
tained me, — wilt  thou  still  continue  to  bless? 
Make  me  more  holy,  more  entirely  conformed  to 
thy  divine  will.  Let  me  suffer  patiently  all  thy 
chastisements,  and  kiss  the  rod  which  afflicts- 
me,  saying  as  thou  didst,  "  Even  so,  Father,  for 
so  it  seemeth  good  in  thy  sight ! " 

20th.  Another  week  has  passed,  and  with 
what  fruit  to  my  soul?  Have  I  advanced  in 
holiness  ?  Do  I  love  the  Saviour  more  ?  Have 
I  done  any  thing  for  him  ?  I  determined  to 


214  THE     SISTERS. 

converse  with  some  of  Fannie 's  companions, 
but  none  of  them  have  been  here,  and  I  have 
felt  little  like  going  out.  If  I  can  not  see  them 
I  will  write,  for  I  feel  that  I  am  doing  nothing 
for  Christ,  and  I  want  to  be  active  in  his  service 
continually. 

I  do  n't  know  what  to  do  about  returning  to 
Plymouth.  They  have  written  for  me  several 
times,  but  I  can  not  leave  my  dear  mother  yet. 
I  should  rejoice  to  know  that  the  Spirit  of  God 
is  striving  again  with  souls  there,  and  many 
are  pressing  into  the  kingdom.  Oh  that  my 
prayers  for  them  were  so  earnest  and  fervent 
that  the  blessing  could  not  be  withheld  ! 

TO  FANNIE'S  s.  SCHOOL  CLASS. 

Sabbath  eve,  Jan.  22,  1854. 
MY  DEAR  YOUNG  FRIENDS  :  —  The  enclosed 
note,*  written  with  a  trembling  hand,  and  left 
unfinished,  is  the  last  effort  of  our  now  sainted 
Fannie  to  do  something  for  your  souls.  She  did 
not  design  to  send  it  to  you  in  its  present  form, 
but,  three  or  four  days  before  her  death,  asked 
for  pen  and  paper  to  copy  it  and  add  something 
more.  She  had,  however,  scarcely  strength  to 
speak,  and  we  knew  it  would  be  impossible  for 

*See  page  204. 


LETTER  TO   FANNIE?S  S.   S.    CLASS.  215 

her  to  guide  a  pen.  What  else  she  would  have 
said  to  you  eternity  alone  can  reveal.  But  is 
not  this  sufficient,  coming,  as  it  does,  from  her 
dying  bed, — almost  from  her  open  grave  ?  Her 
heart  yearned  over  you ;  she  could  not  endure 
the  thought  of  an  eternal  separation,  but  would 
have  you  meet  her  in  heaven.  With  her  dying 
breath  she  testified  to  the  value  of  religion.  .  . 

Would  you,  my  dear  friends,  be  prepared  for 
such  a  joyful  departure,  —  such  a  full  and  abun- 
dant entrance  into  the  mansions  above  ?  Then, 
while  life  and  health  remain,  prepare  for  it. 
Delay  not  until  a  sick,  a  dying  hour,  when  the 
body  is  racked  with  pain,  and  reason,  perhaps, 
is  clouded,  this  work,  which  demands  every  en- 
ergy of  your  souls. 

Shall  Jesus,  your  slighted  Saviour,  who  has 
purchased  redemption  by  his  agony  and  death, 
sue  in  vain  for  admittance  to  your  hearts?  Ever 
since  you  were  capable  of  distinguishing  be- 
tween right  and  wrong  he  has  been  knocking 
there,  until  "  his  locks  are  wet  with  the  dews 
of  the  night/'  and  you  have  yet  refused  him ! 
But  beware  lest  the  time  come  when  he  will 
depart,  and  then  you  will  seek  him  in  vain.  Do 
not,  I  beseech  you,  slight  his  offers  longer. 
Receive  him  now,  and  your  pardon  will  be 
sealed  in  his  precious  blood.  "  Whoso  cometh 


216  THE   SISTERS. 

unto  me  1  will  in  no  wise  cast  out."  He  is 
faithful  to  his  promises,  and  to  his  grace  do  I 
commend  you. 

With  many  prayers  that  you  may  come  to  a 
wise  decision,  I  am 

Yours,  very  affectionately, 

E.    H.    DlCKERMAN. 

With  similar  earnestness  she  wrote  to  the 
young  ladies  of  her  school  in  Plymouth.  Well 
is  it  remembered  how  solemn  was  the  impres- 
sion made  by  it;  and  when,  at  the  request  of  the 
Superintendent,  the  letter  was  read  before  the 
Sabbath  School  also,  there  were  few  dry  eyes 
of  either  pupils  or  teachers  present. 

Mt.  Carmel,  Jan.  29,  1854. 

MY   VERY   DEAR   YOUNG    FRIENDS  :  —  You   have 

already  heard  of  the  sore  bereavement  which  I 
have  recently  experienced  in  the  death  of  an 
only  sister.  Thinking  that  you  might  be  inter- 
ested, and  perhaps  profited,  by  learning  some- 
thing of  a  life  which  has  terminated  in  such  a 
triumphant  death,  I  send  you  a  few  particulars. 
Fannie  had  a  peculiarly  ardent  temperament, 
and,  when  a  little  child,  was  sometimes,  if  irri- 
tated, very  passionate  ;  but  at  the  early  age  of 
eleven  years  she  became,  as  we  hope,  a  child 


LETTER  TO  PUPILS  OF  THE  SEMINARY.   217 

of  God.  From  that  time  she  maintained  a  con- 
tinual warfare  against  the  evil  propensities  of 
her  nature  until  she  became,  in  spirit  and  tem- 
per, like  a  lamb.  So  complete  was  her  victory, 
that  during  her  long  and  tedious  confinement 
of  five  months,  not  an  impatient  murmur 
escaped  her  lips.  She  was  uniformly  cheerful 
and  happy,  reposing  herself  with  entire  confi- 
dence in  the  hands  of  her  Saviour,  knowing 
that  he  would  do  all  things  well.  How  often 
have  I  heard  her,  when  in  health,  in  the  secrecy 
of  her  closet  pleading  for  the  entire  sanctifica- 
tion  of  her  own  soul,  and  the  salvation  of  her 
young  companions.  Sometimes,  in  the  fervor 
of  her  devotions,  especially  when  praying  for 
her  friends,  she  seemed  completely  lost,  as  if 
carried  away  into  the  immediate  presence  of 
Jehovah.  Those  prayers  have  been  answered 
in  the  conversion  of  some  whom  she  dearly 
loved,  and  I  can  not  but  hope  they  will  be  fol- 
lowed by  others,  although  her  voice  is  now 
hushed  in  the  grave. 

[After  a  description  of  the  last  hours  and  of 
the  dying  scene,  in  language  similar  to  that 
already  given  from  her  journal,  she  proceeds  :] 

How  many  of  you,  my  young  friends,  are  pre- 
pared for  such  a  death  as  hers?  Six  months 
since  her  prospects  for  a  long  and  happy  life 


218  THE     SISTERS. 

were  as  fair  as  any  of  yours,  —  now  she  has 
passed  away,  and  the  record  of  her  short  life 
(less  than  sixteen  years)  is  sealed  up  against 
the  great  day  of  account.  If  you  would  die  the 
death  of  the  righteous,  you  have  a  work  to  do. 
Some  of  you  hope  that  you  have  just  begun  to 
serve  your  Maker.  To  you  let  me  say,  do  not 
be  content  with  but  just  entering  the  king- 
dom, —  with  having  once  entertained  a  hope 
that  your  sins  are  forgiven.  You  can  not  rely 
upon  past  experience.  Do  not  look  there  for 
your  evidence  of  acceptance  with  God,  but  ask 
yourselves,  What  is  the  present  state  of  my 
heart?  Am  I  living  by  faith  on  the  Son  of 
God  ?  Am  I  advancing  in  the  Christian  course  ; 
growing  in  grace  day  by  day  ?  There  is  no 
such  thing  as  remaining  stationary.  You  are 
either  going  forward  or  backward;  and  do  not 
forget  that  "  he  that  putteth  his  hand  to  the 
plow,  and  looketh  back,  is  not  fit  for  the  king- 
dom of  God." 

Live  near  to  your  Father  in  prayer.  Daily 
commune  with  him  in  secret.  Ask  yourselves 
what  evidence  your  closets  bear  to  your  fidel- 
ity. You  can  not  live  without  prayer  and  be 
Christians,  for 

"  Prayer  is  the  Christian's  vital  breath, 
The  Christian's  native  air." 


LETTER  TO  PUPILS  OF  THE  SEMINARY.   219 

Here  you  may  at  all  times  meet  him  who  has 
never  said  "  Seek  ye  me  in  vain ; "  here  you  may 
commune  with  him  before  whom  seraphs  bow ; 
here  you  may  obtain  fresh  supplies  of  grace  for 
every  want.  If  you  earnestly  desire  his  pres- 
ence, he  will  manifest  himself  to  you  as  he  does 
not  to  the  world. 

Be  not  content  to  enter  Christ's  kingdom 
alone.  Show  to  your  companions,  by  your 
solicitude  for  them,  that  religion  is  worth  pos- 
sessing. Let  them  see  that  there  is  a  difference 
between  you  and  the  world,  —  that  you  are 
seeking  a  better  country,  even  a  heavenly. 
Think  of  the  promise  God  has  given  to  them 
who  labor  faithfully  for  souls ;  "  They  that  be 
wise  shall  shine  as  the  brightness  of  the  firma- 
ment, and  they  that  turn  many  to  righteousness,  as 
the  stars,  for  ever  and  ever."  Do  not  follow  the 
unworthy  example  of  your  teacher,  who  daily 
mourns  her  shortcomings  in  duty,  but  remem- 
ber that  you  have  in  Jesus  a  perfect  pattern. 
Be  like  him,  "  meek  and  lowly/7  and  you  shall 
find  rest  to  your  souls. 

But,  alas  !  have  I  not  reason  to  fear  that  some 
of  those  whom  I  dearly  love,  and  for  whom  I 
am  deeply  solicitous,  are  still  in  the  broad  road 
to  death?  Can  it  be  that  any  of  you  are  ene- 
mies of  God,  who  has  all  your  lives  long  loved 


220  THE     SISTERS. 

you,  and  urged  you  to  accept  his  love  ?  Oh ! 
do  not  presume  on  his  goodness  still  longer. 
Grieve  not  away  that  Saviour  who  has  been 
sueing  for  admittance  to  your  hearts,  in  so 
many  ways,  and  for  so  many  years.7'  Per- 
haps even  now  he  may  be  about  to  turn 
from  you.  Let  not,  I  beseech  you,  a  salvation 
which  has  been  so  dearly  purchased,  —  even  by 
the  blood  of  the  Son  of  God,  —  be  longer 
slighted.  If  you  still  refuse  it  he  will  soon  say 
of  his  barren  tree,  "  Cut  it  down,  why  cumber- 
eth  it  the  ground."  Oh !  choose  ye  this  day 
whom  ye  will  serve. 

With  many  prayers  that  you  may  all  be  gath- 
ered into  the  fold  of  Christ,  —  that  we  may 
all,  —  teachers  and  pupils,  be  permitted  to  sit 
together  at  his  right  hand,  I  am,  as  ever, 

Very  affectionately  yours, 

B.    H.    DlCKERMAN. 

Feb.  4.  I  have  received  two  very  kind  and 
affectionate  letters  from  brother  B.  the  past 
week.  He  entreats  me  to  be  careful  of  my 
health,  and  not  work  so  hard  in  school  as  I  have 
done.  For  my  friends7  sake,  if  not  for  my  own, 
I  feel  that  I  must  be  more  prudent;  and  am 
resolved,  when  I  return,  not  to  overtask  myself, 
though  it  would  be  far  more  agreeable  to  do 


AT    HOME.  221 

this  than  to  see  any  thing  left  undone.  Miss 
H.  writes  me  that  the  girls  seem  very  thought- 
less, and  she  fears  that  some  for  whom  we  en- 
tertained hope  have  gone  back  to  the  world.  I 
have  written  them  a  long  letter,  which  they 
have,  before  this,  received.  I  know  that  in  my 
weakness  I  can  do  nothing  to  save  them,  but  I 
know,  too,  that  God  often  blesses  human  instru- 
mentality, and  that  he  will  hear  and  answer 
prayer.  It  seems  to  me  that,  when  I  hear  from 
them  again,  souls  must  be  inquiring.  Oh  that  I 
may  be  more  faithful  to  them  when  I  return  ! 
I  can  not  bear  that  any  one  of  them  should  at 
last  perish.  I  want  them  all  to  belong  to  Christ. 

Have  been  reading  a  little  tract  this  after- 
noon, which  speaks  of  Christians  looking  too 
much  within  themselves,  and  not  enough  to 
Christ,  to  find  the  ground  of  their  acceptance. 
I  know  that  this  has  been  a  difficulty  with  me. 

10th.  I  expected  to  be  in  Plymouth  again 
before  this,  but  a  few  days  since  I  received  a 
letter  saying  that  I  might  remain  at  home 
another  week.  God  orders  every  thing  so 
wisely  for  me  that  I  wonder  I  can  ever  distrust 
him.  At  the  time  fixed  for  my  return  I  was 
very  ill,  and  could  not  possibly  have  gone,  and 
my  anxiety  was  all  relieved  by  the  kind  release 
which  Mr.  W.  gave  me.  My  illness  is  now 


222  THE   SISTERS. 

almost  gone,  and  I  trust  I  do  feel  grateful  tc 
my  heavenly  Father  for  his  sparing  mercy. 

17th.  Plymouth.  Yesterday  I  returned  to 
my  old  sphere  of  labor,  and  once  more  find  my- 
self borne  down  with  a  sense  of  my  responsi- 
bilities. God  alone  can  strengthen  me  for  my 
arduous  duties,  and  in  him  would  I  trust. 

Yesterday,  on  my  way,  I  commenced  reading 
a  little  book  entitled  "  Christian  progress."  I 
am  not  satisfied  with  my  low  attainments.  I 
desire  to  make  progress,  and  am  resolved  that 
henceforth  my  watchword  shall  be  "  onward." 
I  feel  very  sad  this  morning,  as  I  think  of  ?ma's 
loneliness. 

Evening.  Mr.  W.  has  made  an  arrangement 
with  Miss  C.,  (who  had  had  charge  of  the  school 
in  Elizabeth's  absence,)  to  return  next  week,  and 
give  instruction  in  music.  I  shall  then  be  freed 
from  all  responsibility  and  care  in  that  respect, 
which  will  be  a  very  great  relief.  I  shall  have 
time  for  seasons  of  retirement  and  communion 
with  God,  without  which  I  can  not  grow  in 
grace.  I  am  determined,  in  my  Saviour's 
strength,  to  strive  .more  earnestly  for  heaven. 
Oh  that,  as  my  day  is,  so  my  strength  may  be  ! 

Rarely  can  a  happier  family  circle  be  found 
than  that  which  now  filled  the  Seminary  man- 


THE    SEMINARY   FAMILY.  223 

sion  at  P.  Elizabeth,  with  her  Assistant,  Miss 
H.,  a  spirit  in  every  way  congenial  to  her  own, 
presided  over  the  establishment ;  Miss  C.,  the 
accomplished  daughter  of  a  neighboring  clergy- 
man, superintended  the  music ;  and  "  the  good 
Miss  H."  had  charge  of  the  domestic  depart- 
ment. About  fifteen  pupils  boarded  in  the 
institution,  and  from  twenty  to  thirty  others 
attended  as  day  pupils.  The  regulations  were 
systematic  and  strict,  but  the  administration 
was  so  kind  that  they  received  a  cheerful  com- 
pliance ;  and  teachers  and  pupils  were  alike 
bound  to  each  other  with  a  degree  of  unaffected 
love,  which  has  very  seldom,  if  ever,  been  sur- 
passed. 

Nor  can  it  be  doubted  that  the  spring  of  this 
happiness  was,  in  an  eminent  degree,  in  that 
spirit  of  deep  and  earnest  piety  which  presided 
over  the  whole.  It  was  the  one  end  and  aim  of 
Elizabeth,  in  taking  upon  her  such  responsibili- 
ties, that  she  might  do  good.  She  longed  to 
win  her  pupils  to  Christ.  She  loved  them  not 
merely  as  such,  but  because  of  the  worth  of 
their  souls.  She  prayed  for  them.  She  affec- 
tionately warned  and  counseled  them,  and,  by 
every  means  in  her  power,  sought  to  lead  them 
to  the  Saviour.  Yet  there  was  no  austerity  of 
word  or  look.  While  religion  was  set  before 


224  THE   SISTERS. 

them  in  example,  and  that  so  evidently  that 
they  could  not  but  see  it,  it  was  still  in  its  most 
attractive  form.  They  saw  it  at  home  in  a 
young  heart,  —  scarcely  older  than  their  own, — 
a  heart  which  had  been  sorely  smitten,  yet  it 
was  neither  soured  nor  sad ;  glowing  still  with 
all  the  sensibilities  of  youth ;  quick  to  enjoy, 
and  to  impart  enjoyment;  and,  while  wearing 
the  thoughtful  mien  of  one  who  "  walked  with 
God/7  still  manifesting  an  inward  happiness  as 
far  surpassing  the  empty  gaiety  of  the  world- 
ling as  it  was  higher  in  its  source,  and  holier  in 
its  tendencies. 

On  the  first  Sabbath  morning  after  her  return 
we  find  her  planning  and  praying  for  her  school 
thus : — 

Feb.  19.  Sabbath  morn.  I  feel  so  anxious  to 
do  something  for  the  spiritual  good  of  our  dear 
pupils.  Last  term  many  of  the  Sabbaths  were 
spent  by  them  very  unprofitably,  and  I  can  not 
endure  the  thought  of  going  on  in  such  a  way 
again.  After  all,  I  believe  much  of  the  sin  lies 
at  my  door,  for  I  did  not  strive  as  I  ought,  to 
interest  them,  but  secluded  myself  almost  en- 
tirely, feeling  it  much  pleasanter  to  be  alone,  or 
only  with  my  dear  Miss  H.  Yet  this,  I  now 
see,  was  not  right;  for  girls  must  be  constantly 


BIBLE    EXERCISE.  225 

engaged  in  something.  I  have  this  morning 
proposed  a  Bible  exercise  after  church,  with 
which  all  seemed  interested  and  pleased.  The 
question  I  have  selected  is  this,  "  Will  God  save 
all  who  repent  of  their  sins  and  seek  salvation?" 
I  will  ask  the  young  ladies  to  bring  as  many 
texts  as  they  can  to  prove  the  affirmative.  0 
my  Father,  wilt  thou  bestow  thy  blessing,  that 
we  may  all  be  profited  by  the  exercises  of  this 
holy  day.  Let  some  poor,  hungry,  starving  soul 
be  fed  to-day  wTith  the  bread  of  heaven  and  the 
water  of  eternal  life  ! 

...  I  have  just  had  a  season  of  such  sweet 
communion  with  my  heavenly  Father  as  I  have 
not  for  several  days  before  enjoyed.  How 
delightful  to  come  and  trust  all  our  interests  in 
his  hands  !  It  does  seem  to  me  that  we  shall 
this  day  be  blessed !  that  we  shall  hear  some 
soul  inquiring  the  way  to  life.  Oh,  how  won- 
derful is  God's  love !  As  I  think  of  it  this 
morning  I  could 

"  sit  and  sing  myself  away 
To  everlasting  bliss." 

I  do  thank  thee,  my  Father,  that  thou  hast 
been  pleased  to  manifest  thyself  unto  me,  —  to 
lift  on  me  the  light  of  thy  countenance  recon- 
ciled.    Oh  !  hide  not  thy  face  again  from  me. 
15 


226  THE    SISTERS. 

Sabbath  evening.  Our  Bible  exercise  this 
afternoon  was  quite  interesting,  and,  I  trust, 
profitable.  The  young  ladies  listened  atten- 
tively to  what  I  said  after  the  texts  were 
repeated,  and  some  of  them  seemed  very 
thoughtful.  The  question  proposed  for  next 
Sabbath  is,  "How  must  we  come  to  God  if  we 
would  be  accepted  by  him?77 

I  have  experienced  much  spiritual  enjoyment 
to-day,  and  feel  that  the  Lord  has  been  with  me. 

"  How  sweet,  a  Sabbath  thus  to  spend, 
In  hope  of  one  that  ne'er  shall  end ! " 

22d.  Wednesday  morn.  I  have  determined 
to  revive  our  little  prayer  meetings,  which  we 
enjoyed  so  much  last  term ;  and  have  concluded 
to  ask  the  young  ladies  to  remain  after  school 
this  afternoon  for  that  purpose.  I  am  anxious 
to  see  the  Spirit  of  God  again  present  among 
us.  Some  who,  we  hoped,  had  turned  from 
their  sins,  seem  to  have  gone  back  again  to  the 
world.  0  Lord,  forsake  them  not,  but  give  me 
grace  to  be  faithful  to  them,  and  bless  my  hum- 
ble efforts  to  do  them  good.  Oh  !  I  do  desire 
to  be  more  holy,  —  to  have  my  wicked  heart 
purified  from  all  sin.  I  am  not  satisfied  with 
living  at  such  a  distance  from  the  Giver  of  all 
my  blessings. 


LETTER  FROM  HER  MOTHER.       227 

Evening.  This  afternoon  I  asked  such  of  the 
young  ladies  as  had  any  interest  in  a  prayer 
meeting  to  remain  after  school.  All  did  so,  but 
not  one  of  them  prayed!  After  they  left  the 
room  I  could  not  restrain  my  tears,  but  gave 
way  to  my  disappointment  in  a  good  fit  of  weep- 
ing. I  can  not  bear  to  have  things  go  on  in 
such  a  cold  and  lifeless  way.  .  .  . 

Have  spoken  a  word  to  Miss  J.,  may  it  be 
blessed  to  her  soul. 

24th.  Have  received  a  letter  from  my  dear 
mother,  and  though  she  does  not  say  that  she 
wishes  I  could  content  myself  at  home,  I  can 
see,  from  the  tone  of  it,  what  are  her  feelings. 
Inclination  would  certainly  lead  me  to  resign 
my  school  and  remain  with  her.  I  have  been 
thinking  much  of  it,  and  asking  myself  many 
times  what  ought  I  to  do  ?  My  first  duty,  next 
to  God,  is  to  my  parents  ;  and,  when  I  think  of 
their  loneliness,  and  how  much  I  could  do  to 
promote  their  happiness,  and  to  benefit  my  little 
brothers,  I  feel  almost  that  I  must  give  up  my 
teaching  and  go  to  my  dear  home. 

We  have  in  this  extract  the  first  allusion  to 
an  event  which  had  been  anticipated  as  prob- 
able, even  before  it  seems  to  have  been  sug- 
gested to  herself, — her  resignation  as  Principal. 


228  THE   SISTERS. 

The  death  of  her  sisters  had  left  the  bereaved 
parents  under  the  double  burden  of  grief  and 
loneliness.  Elizabeth's  own  health  had  been 
taxed  to  the  utmost  under  the  severe  labors  of 
her  school,  and  of  her  sister's  sick-room,  and 
was  now  exhibiting  symptoms  which  could  not 
but  awaken  solicitude,  if  they  did  not  warrant 
alarm.  Strong,  therefore,  as  was  her  attach- 
ment to  the  seminary,  as  a  field  of  usefulness, 
and  to  her  pupils,  it  will  not  be  regarded  as 
surprising  that  she  at  length  concluded  to  part 
with  them.  But  this  determination  was  not 
hastily  formed.  The  question  was  for  weeks 
made  a  subject  of  prayer,  and  decided,  at  last, 
as  clearly  from  a  conviction  of  duty  as  the 
proposition  to  take  charge  of  the  school  had 
itself  formerly  been. 

March  3.  I  have  been  quite  ill  since  I  last 
wrote,  but  am  now  better,  and  trust  I  feel  grate- 
ful to  my  heavenly  Father  that  he  has  not  pros- 
trated me  on  a  bed  of  sickness.  Have  been 
thinking  much  of  the  promise  I  made  by  my 
dear  sister  F.'s  dying  bed,  that  I  would  spend  a 
season  regularly,  morning  and  evening,  in  medi- 
tation and  prayer.  It  is  sometimes  impossible 
for  me  to  be  alone  here,  and  there  is  not  a  place 
to  which  I  can  resort  without  interruption. 


ASPIRATIONS   AFTER   HOLINESS.  229 

When  Miss  H.  is  practising  I  can  get  a  few  mo- 
ments, but  then  the  piano  is  a  great  disturb- 
ance. Oh !  I  must  have  my  wayward  thoughts 
more  entirely  under  my  control,  so  that  they 
will  not  be  disturbed  by  external  things.  There 
is  no  other  way  for  me  here,  especially  in  the 
morning,  to  spend  my  time  in  secret  prayer. 

I  think  much  of  my  dear  parents,  and  how 
kind  my  heavenly  Father  is  in  sparing  them  to 
me.  I  can  not  be  thankful  enough  for  this  great 
blessing.  How  few  parents  are  so  worthy  of 
the  entire  love  and  confidence  of  their  children. 

12th.  Sabbath  morn.  I  think  I  can  truly 
say  this  morning  that  I  am  hungering  and 
thirsting  after  righteousness.  I  desire  to  have 
my  soul  filled  with  love  to  my  blessed  Saviour. 
When  I  think  of  my  dear  angel  sisters,  and  how 
perfectly  happy  they  must  be,  now  that  they 
are  safe  from  temptation,  it  seems  as  if  I  must 
burst  these  bonds  which  tie  me  here,  and  join 
them  in  their  delightful  worship. 

During  the  past  week  I  have  had  no  direct 
personal  conversation  with  any  impenitent  per- 
son. Last  Sabbath  had  a  long  talk  with  D.; 
who,  we  hoped,  last  term,  had  given  herself  to 
God.  She  still  thinks  that  she  is  a  Christian, 
but  says  she  is  not  advancing  as  she  ought  to 
be.  I  suggested  it  was  because  she  was  not 


230  THE   SISTERS. 

doing  any  thing  for  Christ,  and  urged  her  to 
give  herself  wholly  to  the  Lord.  Oh  !  I  do  long 
to  see  these  young  Christians  active ;  to  see 
them  working  Christians.  God  often  blesses  a 
word  addressed  even  to  the  careless,  and  I  am 
determined  to  converse  with  some  impenitent 
one  to-day,  relying  entirely  upon  him  for 
guidance.  I  shall  probably  remain  here  but 
little  longer,  and  I  desire,  in  the  short  time  that 
remains,  to  do  much  for  God. 

Evening.  Have  had  some  conversation  with 
B.  to-day.  (Interrupted.) 

15th.  To-night  the  young  ladies  have  gone 
to  attend  the  sewing  society,  but  as  I  feel  little 
like  mingling  in  so  much  company,  I  am  very 
glad  to  remain  at  home.  How  pleasant  it  seems 
to  sit  down  in  quiet,  undisturbed  by  music  and 
conversation.  A  whole  hour  to  spend  alone  with 
God !  I  can  not  prize  it  highly  enough.  For 
several  days  I  have  been  in  a  very  unhappy 
state  of  mind,  dissatisfied  with  every  thing 
within  myself.  Oh  !  may  I  to-night  find  the  way 
open  again  between  my  soul  and  God. 

I  am  distressed  that  I  am  causing  so  much 
trouble  about  the  school.  Mr.  W.  says  if  I 
leave  now  it  will  unsettle  matters  which  are 
just  getting  where  he  wanted  them.  If  I  re- 
main, I  have  so  little  time  and  opportunity  for 


DECIDES   TO   RESIGN.  231 

secret  prayer,  and  other  closet  duties,  that  I 
shall  wander  farther  and  farther  from  God. 
Besides,  what  can  I  do  in  a  place  where  such 
an  overwhelming  weight  of  responsibility  is 
resting  upon  me?  Another  can  fill  my  place 
here,  but  none  can  be  a  daughter  to  my  parents. 

April  2.  Sabbath  morn.  We  have  been  so 
busy  and  so  engrossed  with  our  preparations 
for  examination,  during  the  last  two  weeks,  that 
I  have  entirely  neglected  my  journal.  Nothing 
of  particular  note  has  occurred  in  the  interval, 
though  I  have  fully  decided  to  leave  Plymouth, 
and  another  teacher  has  been  secured  to  fill  my 
place.  May  she  have  grace  given  her  to  act 
wisely,  and  labor  faithfully  for  the  salvation  of 
these  precious  immortal  souls.  I  bless  God  that 
he  has,  as  I  trust,  made  me  instrumental  of  some 
good  here,  notwithstanding  all  my  unfaithful- 
ness. My  opportunities  of  doing  good  have 
been  many  and  great,  —  would  that  I  had  bet- 
ter improved  them ! 

Evening.  My  health  is  such  that  I  have 
thought  it  prudent  to  remain  at  home  this  even- 
ing, though  I  very  much  desired  to  attend  the 
meeting.  Miss  J.  is  not  quite  well,  and  I  ex- 
cused her  from  going  out.  Have  had  a  delight- 
ful conversation  with  her.  She  says  she  has 
determined  to  take  Christ  as  her  Saviour,  —  but 


232  THE   SISTERS. 

seems  still  to  think  her  sins  are  too  great  for 
him  to  forgive.  I  advised  her  as  well  as  I 
could,  and  she  thinks  she  can  now  trust  all  to 
God.  After  I  had  talked  with  her  for  some 
time  she  burst  into  tears,  and  said,  "  Oh !  what 
shall  I  do  when  I  leave  here  ?  I  shall  have  no 
one  to  direct  me."  I  told  her  God  would  never 
forsake  her,  and  he  would  be  an  unerring  guide. 
She  is  now  in  her  room  communing  with  him. 
Oh,  may  she  find  him  precious  !  Father,  wilt 
thou  lift  upon  her  the  light  of  thy  countenance. 
Our  Bible  exercises  are  still  continued,  and 
very  pleasant.  I  think  they  are  exerting  a 
salutary  influence,  • —  the  young  ladies  seem  so 
much  more  quiet  and  thoughtful  on  the  Sab- 
bath than  before  they  were  commenced.  I  can 
but  hope  that  the  seed  thus  sown  will,  in  due 
time,  produce  an  abundant  harvest. 

The  school  term  closed  on  the  12th  of  April 
with  a  public  examination  and  exhibition  of  the 
pupils.  It  was  a  gala  day  in  the  village.  The 
church  was  decorated  with  evergreens,  and 
hung  with  specimens  of  drawing  and  maps. 
The  examination  of  the  classes  was  interspersed 
with  music ;  and,  in  the  evening,  essays,  original 
dialogues,  songs,  &c.,  gave  a  pleasing  variety  to 
the  entertainment.  A  very  large  audience  were 


EXHIBITION    OF   THE   SEMINARY.  233 

in  attendance,  and  manifested  their  delighted 
interest  in  the  occasion.  One  thing  alone 
occurred  to  mar  the  pleasure  of  the  evening, — 
the  arrival  of  the  hour  of  separation.  Their 
beloved  teacher,  who  had  toiled  for  them  and 
prayed  for  them, —  who  had  so  earnestly  incited 
them  to  all  ladylike  aspirations,  and,  above  all, 
to  the  attainment  of  an  interest  in  Christ, — • 
whom  they  had  seen  smitten  with  her  own 
great  griefs,  yet  sustained  under  them  by  a 
power  which  even  the  most  thoughtless  'felt 
must  be  frcr:  heaven,  —  that  gentle  and  faithful 
teacher  would  be  with  them  no  more  !  They 
gathered  around  her,  they  wept,  and  the  part- 
ing words  were  broken  with  sobs,  that  told  to 
many  a  sympathetic  witness  how  dear  she  had 
become  to  them  all. 

April  14.  Once  more  I  am  in  my  own  quiet 
home,  which  is  doubly  pleasant  after  the  con- 
fusion of  the  past  week.  On  Wednesday  were 
our  examination  and  exhibition.  The  church 
was  densely  crowded,  and  every  thing  passed 
off  better  than  we  had  dared  to  hope.  For  the 
last  week  or  two  I  have  lived  on  excitement, 
and  now,  that  the  occasion  of  it  is  past,  and 
the  result  is  so  entirely  satisfactory,  I  would 
give  God  all  the  praise  of  our  success.  Oh, 


234  THE     SISTERS. 

how  hard  it  was  to  say  "  good-bye  "  to  my  dear 
pupils  !  When  I  told  them  of  my  intention  to 
leave  they  burst  into  tears,  and  we  all  wept 
together.  If  I  could  only  know  that  we  should 
all  meet  in  heaven,  how  happy  should  I  be. 
Thanks  be  to  God  that  some  of  them,  I  trust, 
are  in  the  strait  and  narrow  way. 

J.  S.  came  to  me  the  morning  before  I  left, 
and  I  talked  with  her  about  making  a  profession 
of  religion.  She  says  that  she  has  thought 
much  about  it,  and  I  hope  that,  for  her  own 
good,  she  will  do  it,  for  I  can  not  doubt  that  she 
is  a  Christian.  She  has  always,  since  she  in- 
dulged hope,  been  ready  to  take  her  part  in  our 
little  Wednesday  prayer  meetings,  and  her  daily 
walk  and  conversation  give  evidence  that  she 
has  been  born  again.  Miss  J.  also  says  that  she 
is  fully  determined  to  serve  Christ,  —  may  she 
have  grace  to  do  so  from  on  high. 

Miss  B.,  who  is  to  be  my  successor,  was 
present  at  our  examination,  and  the  following 
morning  I  had  quite  a  chat  with  her.  I  trust 
she  is  one  in  whose  hands  the  school  will  pros- 
per. Oh  that  she  may  be  instrumental  in  win- 
ning many  of  these  precious  souls  to  Christ ! 
How  much  I  shall  think  of  them  all !  It  seems 
to  me  I  have  never  before  formed  such  strong 
attachments  as  those  of  the  past  year  in  Ply- 


AT   HOME.  235 

mouth.  Miss  H.  seems  to  me  so  much  like  a 
sister  that  I  often  call  her  by  that  endearing 
name.  May  our  love  for  each  other  ever  con- 
tinue as  fervent  as  it  now  is  until  we.  meet  in 
heaven,  where  it  shall  be  perfected. 

And  now  I  desire  to  give  myself  up  to  home 
duties,  to  act  well  and  faithfully  the  part  of 
daughter  and  sister.  Responsibility  is  still  rest- 
ing on  me,  though  of  a  different  kind  from  that 
which  I  have  left.  May  I  have  grace  to  live 
constantly  "  as  seeing  him  who  is  invisible/7 
and  may  I  grow  in  grace  every  day.  Surely,  I 
ought  to  do  so,  since  I  shall  have  so  much  more 
time  to  attend  to  my  soul's  interests,  which 
have,  of  late,  been  sadly  neglected. 


236  THE     SISTEES. 


CHAPTER   XII. 

At  home  —  Relaxation  from  labor  —  Domestic  duties  — -  Visiting  —  Cor- 
respondence. 

HOME  and  rest,  —  how  sweet  to  those  who 
have  borne  the  burden  of  incessant  toil,  and  for 
whom  loving  hearts  wait  to  bestow  all  the 
treasures  of  sympathy  and  affection !  It  was 
such  a  home  to  which  Elizabeth  now  returned, 
and  from  which,  save  for  occasional  visits  to  her 
friends,  she  departed  not  again  till  called  to  her 
better  home  above.  It  was,  henceforth,  her 
chief  aim  to  supply,  in  the  family  circle,  the 
vacant  places  of  those  who  had  gone  before, — 
in  her  own  language,  "  to  perform  faithfully  the 
duties  of  daughter  and  sister.77  The  time  here 
flowed  on  smoothly,  leaving  little  of  incident  to 
be  noted  in  her  diary,  and  our  task  in  this  chap- 
ter will  be  little  more  than  to  transcribe  such 
records  of  the  inner  life  as  will  show  the  quiet 
ripening  of  her  soul  for  heaven. 

At  first,  however,  this  relief  from  care  seemed 


EFFECT    OF    RELAXATION.  237 

rather  unfavorable  to  her  religious  progress. 
It  is,  doubtless,  when  the  powers  of  the  soul 
are  in  most  vigorous  exercise,  —  nerved  under 
the  pressure  of  responsibility  to  exertion,  to 
vigilance,  to  make  the  most  of  every  moment 
and  every  event,  —  that  the  divine  life  within 
makes  the  most  rapid  advancement.  Relaxation 
in  outward  cares  is  apt  to  induce  a  remission  of 
inward  vigilance,  —  at  least,  to  leave  the  spirit 
languid,  and  more  vulnerable  to  the  assaults  of 
temptation  and  the  insidious  influence  of  the 
world.  A  few  days  after  her  return  we  find 
Elizabeth  writing  thus : 

April  23.  I  have  allowed  my  mind,  of  late, 
to  become  far  too  much  engrossed  by  the  world. 
Now  that  I  am  at  home  and  freed  from  many 
responsibilities  which  have  pressed  so  heavily 
upon  me,  I  fear  I  am  estranging  myself  from 
God,  and  feeling  less  my  need  of  constant  grace 
and  strength  from  on  high  to  sustain  me.  I 
have  resolved,  to-night,  that  I  will  set  apart  a 
half  hour  each  morning  for  communion  with 
God  and  my  soul.  I  mean  to  rise  early  enough 
to  take  time  for  this  duty  before  I  become  en- 
gaged in  any  thing  else,  and  my  mind  is  pre- 
occupied with  worldly  cares.  In  connection- 
with  this  exercise  I  will  study  a  portion  of 


238  THE     SISTERS. 

God's  word,  and  strive  thus  to  become  better 
acquainted  with  his  mind  and  will.  Here,  Lord, 
is  my  resolve,  —  made,  I  trust,  not  in  my  own 
strength,  (which,  I  know,  will  fail  me,)  but  in 
the  hope  of  grace  given  me  from  thee.  Oh 
that  I  may  be  enabled  to  grow  daily  in  Christ, 
till  I  shall  arrive  at  the  fullness  of  the  stature 
of  the  perfect ! 

29th.  Saturday  evening.  Another  week  has 
passed  away.  How  solemn  the  thought !  Have 
I  spent  it  as  I  ought?  Have  I  advanced  in  the 
divine  life  ?  Have  I  grown  in  grace  ?  Alas  ! 
how  many  neglected  duties,  how  many  sins 
committed,  throng  upon  my  view.  How  long, 
0  Lord,  wilt  thou  show  thyself  merciful,  —  how 
long  continue  to  bestow  unnumbered  blessings 
upon  such  an  unworthy,  ungrateful  child  ?  0 
my  Father,  help  me  to  live  anew  to  thee, — help 
me  to  search  and  know  my  own  heart,  to  banish 
from  it  all  sin,  and  give  it  wholly  to  thee. 

Prepare  me  for  the  duties  of  thy  holy  day. 
May  I  awake  in  the  morning  with  my  thoughts 
on  thee,  and  maintain  my  mind  disengaged  from 
all  worldly  cares.  Let  it  be  a  Sabbath  most 
holy  and  blessed  to  my  soul. 

May  21.  My  twenty-fifth  birthday  !  A  quar- 
ter of  a  century  spent,  and  so  little  accom- 
plished ! 


"  THE   FIELDS    ALL   WHITE."  239 

Our  Sabbath  School  has  to-day  been  reorgan- 
ized, and  I  have  taken  my  old  class.  It  was 
very  pleasant  to  meet  them  thus  again,  but  one 
was  not.  It  seems  but  a  few  days  since  dear 
Abbie  was  instructing  a  class  just  in  front  of 
mine,  and  Fannie  was  one  of  my  pupils.  Now 
they  are  both  gone  to  that  school  where  Jesus 
is  their  instructor,  and  they  are  learning  of  him. 
It  seems  to  me  that  I  never  before  felt  so 
anxious  for  my  dear  class  ;  and,  with  help  from 
on  high,  I  am  determined  to  be  faithful  to  them. 
My  field  of  usefulness  is  not,  apparently,  so 
wide  as  it  has  been  for  a  year  past,  yet,  if  I  do 
my  duty,  I  may  accomplish  more  for  Christ  this 
summer  than  ever  before.  Oh  !  I  do  long  to  do 
good,  and  the  fields  are  all  white,  and  ready  for 
the  harvest.  My  Father,  give  me  wisdom  and 
strength  from  above. 

Here  is  the  explanation  of  her  success  in  her 
plans  of  usefulness.  Withdrawn  from  that 
sphere  of  influence  which  she  had  occupied, 
into  the  retirement  of  home,  it  would  not  have 
been  surprising  if  she  had  felt  that  her  oppor- 
tunities were  mostly  past.  Many,  in  such  cir- 
cumstances, do  not  dream  of  finding  any  practi- 
cable good  to  do.  But  Elizabeth  had  so  sincerely 
and  earnestly  consecrated  herself  to  duty  that 


240  THE     SISTERS. 

she  could  not  be  idle.  If  opportunities  pre- 
sented not,  she  would  make  them.  Wherever 
she  was,  the  fields  were  "  white  and  ready  for 
the  harvest/'  —  and,  looking  to  God  for  help, 
she  girded  herself  with  zeal  and  courage  for 
the  work. 

Similarity  of  tastes,  and,  especially,  a  like 
devotedness  of  heart  to  Christ's  service,  had 
created  a  strong  attachment  between  her  and 
her  late  assistant  in  school,  Miss  H. ;  in  refer- 
ence to  the  latter  she  writes : 

Dear  Miss  H.  came  down  last  Tuesday  com- 
pletely worn  out.  She  was  obliged  to  leave 
school  in  order  to  rest  a  few  days,  but  she  seems 
little  better  than  when  she  came,  and  I  fear  she 
will  not  be  well  for  a  long  time.  She  never 
thinks  of  herself  when  there  is  any  thing  to  be 
done  for  others.  She  is  weak  and  languid, 
much  as  my  sisters  were.  She  is  to  me  another 
sister,  and  it  is  my  prayer  that  God  will  not 
take  her,  too,  from  me. 

July  2.  Susan  (Miss  H.)  and  I  have  agreed 
to  spend  a  little  season  at  sunset  in  prayer,  and 
to  read  three  chapters  in  the  Bible  daily.  Help 
us,  Father,  to  offer  our  prayers  in  sincerity,  and 
to  read  thy  word  with  an  understanding  heart. 
I  can  not  live  at  a  distance  from  thee,  and 


LETTER    TO    J.    S.  241 

to-night  I   consecrate   myself   wholly   to   thee. 
Accept  the  offering,  and  make  me  entirely  thine. 

To  J.  S.,  (a  former  pupil.) 

DEAR  JENNIE: — I  can  not  tell  you  how  happy 
I  am  that  you  have  come  out,  and  taken  a 
decided  stand  on  the  Lord's  side.  In  no  other 
way  can  you  hope  to  grow  in  grace,  and  be 
fitted  for  the  "  good  fight "  of  faith.  We  are 
exposed  to  temptation  on  every  side,  but,  armed 
with  the  panoply  of  divine  grace,  we  know  that 
we  shall  not  be  overcome.  Try,  dear  Jennie,  to 
influence  others,  who  are  yet  in  their  sins,  to 
come  and  accept  this  same  Jesus  whom  you 
love ;  and  remember,  ever,  that  whoso  "  con- 
verteth  a  sinner  from  the  error  of  his  ways 
shall  save  a  soul  from  death/7  and  his  reward 
shall  be  to  shine  "as  the  stars  for  ever.77 

Do  not  let  trifles  prevent  you  from  holding 
communion  with  your  Maker,  morning  and  even- 
ing. It  is  impossible  to  neglect  it  habitually 
and  still  be  a  Christian.  You,  doubtless,  often 
meet  with  difficulties  in  your  course,  —  often 
find  the  way  steep  and  difficult.  Yours  would 
be  a  singular  experience  were  it  not  so,  but,  I 
trust,  you  know  to  whom  you  can  apply  for 
succor.  I  am  glad  to  learn  that  you  have  a 
female  prayer  meeting.  In  my  own  experience 
16 


242  THE     SISTERS. 

I  have  found  such  seasons  very  pleasant  and 
profitable. 

As  ever,  your  very  affectionate  friend, 

E.    H.    DlCKERMAN. 

To  MRS.  W. 

Aug.  21. 

I  have  not,  as  you  surmised,  improved  my 
freedom  in  visiting,  for  it  is  such  a  luxury  to  be 
at  home,  that  if  I  go  away  to  spend  a  few  days, 
I  get  homesick,  and  come  back  sooner  than  I 
intended.  With  the  exception  of  two  or  three 
days  in  New  Haven,  and  as  many  in  Bridgeport, 
I  have  spent  the  entire  summer  at  home. 

To  Miss  S.  J.  H.  gept  2< 

DEAR  SUSAN: — Our  "  sunset  hours77  shall  not 
be  forgotten,  for  at  the  throne  of  grace  we  can 
meet,  and  'tis  sweet  to  come  here  and  suppli- 
cate our  heavenly  Father  for  blessings  upon 
ourselves  and  those  we  love.  Oh  that  we 
might  be  more  earnest,  more  fervent  in  our 
petitions !  How  much  you  must  enjoy  your 
little  meetings  for  prayer.  Refreshing  seasons, 
are  they  not  ?  Have  you  thought,  of  late,  what 
a  striking  similarity  exists  between  the  moral 
and  the  physical  world  ?  Every  thing  seems  so 
barren  and  desolate.  But  a  kind  Providence  is 
remembering  the  parched  earth,  and  sending 


SICKNESS   OF   MISS   H.  243 

genial  showers  to  refresh  and  beautify  it.  May 
he  also  send  down  the  rain  of  righteousness  to 
water  the  Israel  of  God,  and  cause  Zion  to  arise 
and  put  on  her  beautiful  garments,  even  the 
garments  of  salvation.  I  am  glad,  for  Miss  C.'s 
sake,  that  she  is  rooming  with  you;  for,  no 
doubt,  she  needs  much  the  influence  of  a  pious 
friend.  In  heaven,  Susie,  you  shall  receive 
your  reward. 

Sept.  9.  I  yesterday  heard  of  my  much  loved 
Susan's  severe  illness  in  New  Britain,  and 
thought  of  going  up  to-day.  I  don't  know  what 
duty  is.  My  parents  are  unwilling  to  have  me 
expose  myself  to  the  disease,  but  still  will  not 
object  if  I  think  it  best  to  go.<  I  have  asked 
for  heavenly  guidance,  and  hope  I  may  receive 
wisdom  from  on  high.  As  I  did  not  feel  quite 
well  this  morning,  I  concluded  to  defer  going 
up  until  next  week.  0  Lord,  will  it  not  be  for 
thy  glory,  and  the  advancement  of  thy  king- 
dom, to  restore  thy  child  again  to  health?  If 
consistent  with  thy  all-wise  purposes,  wilt  thou 
still  spare  her  to  accomplish  great  good  in  the 
world? 

Sabbath  evening,  10th.  How  entirely  depend- 
ent are  we,  poor  frail  creatures,  upon  our  heav- 
enly Father  for  life  and  health !  One  after 


244  THE   SISTERS. 

another  of  those  whom  we  have  loved  are 
stricken  down  with  disease.  Uncle  A.'s  dear 
little  Mary  is  very  ill  of  dysentery,  and  to-day 
Sherwood  is  attacked,  though  not  severely. 
0  Lord,  wilt  thou  be  merciful,  and  restore  to 
our  loved  ones  health  and  strength.  Dear 
Susan,  —  how  much  I  have  thought  of  her 
to-day.  Since  Fannie's  death  she  has  been  to 
me  a  sister ;  but  now  I  fear  that  we,  too,  may 
be  separated.  I  know  that  to  die  would  be  to 
her  great  gain ;  for,  surely,  she  has  given  abun- 
dant evidence  of  having  "  walked  with  God.77 
How  kind  my  Father  is,  to  remove  none  of  my 
dear  friends  by  death  who  can  not  meet  joyfully 
the  king  of  terrors.  Susan  has  so  often  ex- 
pressed an  earnest,  longing  desire  to  depart  and 
be  with  Christ,  that,  I  dare  say,  she  has  no  wish 
to  recover ;  but  it  will  be  hard  to  give  her  up. 
0  Lord,  wilt  thou  make  all  her  bed  in  her  sick- 
ness, and  sustain  her  in  all  the  trials  through 
which  she  may  be  called  to  pass.  In  her  own 
beautiful  language,  I  thank  thee  that  I  may 
"  commit  her  into  thy  hands,  feeling  that  there 
she  is  safe."  This  morning  God  enabled  me,  I 
hope,  to  call  upon  him  in  sincerity.  I  felt  his 
presence  with  me  while  at  the  throne  of  grace, 
and  trust  that,  notwithstanding  I  have  sinned 
much  to-day,  I  have  not  been  wholly  given  over 


LETTER   TO    MISS   H.  245 

to  temptation.  0  Lord,  be  thou  with  me 
through  the  remainder  of  thy  day,  and  enable 
me  to  keep  it  holy,  even  unto  the  end. 

Her  anxiety  for  her  friend  overcame  all  pru- 
dential considerations,  and  she  hastened  to  her 
bedside.  She  found  her,  however,  already  con- 
valescent, and,  after  a  brief  visit,  returned  to 
participate  in  the  grief  which  had  already  in- 
vaded the  household  of  her  uncle. 

To  Miss  S.  J.  H.  gepL  2Qi 

DEAR  SUSIE  :  —  This  has  been  a  sad  and  try- 
ing day,  for  we  have  laid  sweet  little  Mary  in 
her  narrow  bed,  and  left  her  there  to  her  last 
long  sleep.  My  poor  uncle  and  aunt  are  com- 
pletely bowed  down  with  grief,  —  heart-broken. 
The  light  of  their  dwelling  is  gone,  and  they 
are  childless.  It  is  enough  to  make  one's  heart 
ache  to  look  upon  them.  May  the  Lord  have 
mercy  upon  them,  arid  bind  up  the  wound  he 
has  made.  Another  little  one  has  been  added 
to  that  school  in  which  Abbie  and  Fannie  are, 
perhaps,  teachers  as  well  as  learners.  This 
morning  I  made  the  little  shroud,  and  C.  went 
with  me  to  arrange  flowers  in  the  coffin.  I  wish 
you  could  have  seen  our  sweet  one,  so  beauti- 
ful in  death,  —  herself  a  fairer,  more  enduring 


246  THE     SISTERS. 

flower,  now  blooming  in  the  paradise  of  God. 
The  Lord  has  need  of  her,  and  we  must  not 
rebel.  It  seems  to  me  almost  as  if  I  had  buried 
another  sister,  so  closely  had  the  little  one  en- 
twined herself  about  my  heart. 

Sabbath  eve,  Sept.  24.  This  morning  I  re- 
solved to  be  faithful  to  my  Sabbath  School 
class,  and  endeavor  to  impress  upon  their  minds 
the  solemn  lessons  which  we  have  received 
from  the  recent  deaths  of  the  young.  It  was 
late  when  we  finished  our  regular  lesson,  and  I 
had  time  to  say  but  little,  but  may  the  Lord  add 
his  blessing,  and  make  it  the  means  of  salvation 
to,  at  least,  one  soul.  I  do  long  to  see  them 
within  the  fold  of  Christ,  embraced  in  the  cove- 
nant of  his  love.  But  I  fear  that  their  hearts 
are  hard  and  cold.  Turn  them,  mighty  God, 
and  they  shall  be  turned ;  cause  thy  face  to 
shine  upon  them,  and  they  shall  be  saved. 

This  afternoon  went  with  Mr.  Ives  to  his  Sab- 
bath School,  in  the  western  part  of  the  town. 
Heard  four  or  five  little  girls  repeat  their  les- 
sons, passages  from  John's  gospel,  and  endeav- 
ored to  tell  them  of  Jesus'  love,  and  urge  them 
to  come  to  him.  How  much  I, should  love  to 
meet  them  every  Sabbath,  and  tell  them  about 
this  Saviour,  of  whom  they  know  so  little. 


VISITING.  247 

Chester,  Nov.  12.  Left  my  dear  home  yester- 
day for  a  visit  to  this  place.  God  has  guided 
me  to-day,  and  to-night  I  would  return  thanks 
for  his  goodness.  I  was  told  by  the  conductor 
that  I  had  taken  the  wrong  train,  but  it  was 
overruled  for  good.  Truly,  the  Lord  is  gracious 
to  those  who  will  trust  him. 

Hartford,  25th.  Left  Chester  this  noon,  after 
a  very  pleasant  visit  of  two  weeks.  Had  a 
most  delightful  sail  up  the  beautiful  Connecti- 
cut. I  was  almost  too  happy.  I  was  glad  to  be 
alone,  for  I  longed  to  drink  in  every  beauty  as 
we  passed.  I  think  I  never  enjoyed  so  per- 
fectly a  four  hours7  ride  as  this  afternoon. 
Reached  Hartford  just  as  the  sun  was  setting,  at 
the  close  of  one  of  our  most  lovely  Octo- 
ber days.  Found  brother  E.  waiting  at  the 
dock,  who  took  me  to  Mr.  "WVs,  where  I  was 
most  kindly  and  cordially  welcomed.  Strange 
that  I  should  find  so  many  friends.  May  the 
Lord  give  me  a  grateful  heart  for  every  bless- 
ing. 

Thursday  eve,  26th.  This  morning  had  a 
long,  delightful  walk  with  Mrs.  W.,  after  which 
E.  took  me  down  to  see  the  old  charter  oak,  of 
historical  notoriety;  then  to  the  Athenseum, 
where  he  left  me,  I  found  so  many  beautiful 
things  in  the  picture  gallery  that  I  was  fairly 


248  THE     SISTERS. 

bewildered,  and  forgot  how  time  was  passing, 
until  it  was  too  late  for  me  to  visit  the  other 
departments  before  dinner.  This  afternoon  we 
have  been  out  to  ride,  and  have  seen  some  of 
the  finest  views,  —  more  beautiful  than  any  I 
had  witnessed  before.  Saw  the  Retreat,  Asy- 
lum, Mr.  Colt's  extensive  works,  Prospect  Hill, 
the  cemeteries,  and  other  objects  of  interest.  It 
seems  to  me  I  never  passed  a  day  so  pleasantly 
as  this. 

Nov.  12.  Brother  E.  left  on  Friday,  and  will 
not,  probably,  return  until  spring  ;  but  oh,  may 
he  then  come  back  to  us  in  health  and  safety. 
How  hard  these  separations  are  !  Nothing 
but  trust  in  God  can  comfort  and  sustain 
us.  He  has  always  been  to  me  a  dear,  kind, 
good  brother,  and  I  trust  a  merciful  God 
will  still  spare  him.  I  will  leave  him  in  the 
hands  of  my  heavenly  Father,  praying  that  he 
will  prepare  us  all  for  whatever  he  may  have 
in  store  for  us  in  this  world,  and  that  he  will 
finally  give  us  an  entrance  with  his  children 
above. 

Mrs.  Foote  died  yesterday,  and  A.  has  no 
mother.  Poor  girl !  but  I  trust  she  has  learned 
where  to  go  for  comfort.  Oh,  may  the  grace  of 
God  sustain  her  in  this  severe  affliction,  and 


LETTER   TO    A.    F.  249 

may  it  be  the  means  of  purifying  her  heart,  and 
leading  her  nearer  to  himself. 

To  A'  F"  Nov.  12. 

MY  DEAR  AFFLICTED  FRIEND  :  —  I  have  time 
to  write  you  but  a  word,  but  I  want  to  tell  you 
how  much  I  sympathize  with  you  in  your  sore 
bereavement.  Although  I  have,  thus  far,  been 
spared  the  trial  of  parting  with  a  mother,  yet  I 
know  what  sorrow  is,  and  would  direct  you  to 
the  great  Fount  of  consolation,  even  to  that 
Saviour  in  whom  your  now  sainted  mother 
trusted ;  for  there  have  I  often  found  comfort, 
when  the  world  seemed  dark  and  dreary.  Jesus 
wept,  and  he  knows  how  to  sympathize  with  his 
children  in  all  their  griefs,  because  he  has  felt 
the  same.  Come,  then,  to  him,  dear  A.,  and  cast 
your  care  upon  him,  because  he  careth  for  you. 
He  will  be  to  you  more  than  earthly  parents, 
and  will  never,  —  no,' never,  leave  nor  forsake 
you. 

I  know  that  it  is  a  great  thing  for  a  young 
girl  like  yourself  to  be  left  without  a  mother, 
or  even  a  sister,  in  whom  she  can  confide.  Dear 
A.,  may  I  not  be  to  you  in  the  place  of  a  sister? 
Come  to  me  when  you  are  in  trouble,  and,  if  I 
can  be  of  any  service  to  you,  most  gladly  will  I 
do  so.  I  have  wanted  very  much  to  come  down 


250  THE   SISTERS. 

and  see  you,  since  your  mother's  death,  but  my 
own  mother's  illness  has  prevented.  Often,  my 
friend,  have  I  remembered  you  at  the  throne  of 
grace,  and  there  will  you  find  comfort  when  all 
other  sources  fail.  How  insufficient  and  worth- 
less does  the  world  seem  at  such  times,  and  how 
infinitely  precious  a  Saviour's  love  !  If  this 
affliction  should  lead  you  nearer  to  him,  as  I 
trust  it  will,  then  will  you  have  occasion  to 
bless  God  through  all  eternity  for  his  dealings 
with  you.  I  must  not  stay  to  write  more, 
although  I  have  much  to  say,  but  hope  to  see 
you  soon. 

Very  affectionately  yours, 

E.   H.   DlCKERMAN. 

To  J.   S.,  Plymouth. 

Mount  Carmel,  Nov.  24. 
MY  DEAR  JENNIE  :  • — •  It  gratifies  me  exceed- 
ingly to  learn  that  a  few  of  you  have  sustained 
a  weekly  female  prayer  meeting  during  the 
summer.  It  seems  to  me  very  important  that 
young  Christians  should  start  right,  for  I  have 
known  so  many  who  never  get  right  afterwards. 
I  trust,  dear  Jennie,  that  you  will  be  active  in 
striving  to  win  others  to  Christ,  since  you  your- 
self know  by  experience  that  it  is  so  much 
better  to  serve  him  than  the  world. 


LETTER   TO    MRS.   W.  251 

Remember  that,  as  a  teacher,  you  have  rest- 
ing upon  you  weighty  responsibilities,  for 

"  Just  as  the  twig  is  bent,  the  tree 's  inclined." 

It  is  by  both  precept  and  example  that  we 
are  to  show  to  those  around  us  our  love  for 
Jesus,  and  our  hatred  of  sin,  that  abominable 
thing  which  he  hates.  How  sweet  it  is  to  come 
to  him,  when  we  feel  our  own  weakness,  and 
vileness,  and  insufficiency,  assured  that  he  will 
grant  us  all  the  strength  we  need. 

To  MRS.  J.   S.  W. 

Mount  Carmel,  Feb.  6,  1855. 
MY  DEAR  FRIEND:  —  Your  very  kind  letter 
was  duly  received  and  perused  with  much 
pleasure,  though  I  am  not  quite  sure  that  feel- 
ings of  sadness  did  not  predominate ;  still,  it 
was  something  of  a  relief  to  know  definitely 
how  you  were,  instead  of  trusting  to  what  one 
and  another  had  heard.  You  speak  of  the 
promise,  "  As  thy  day,  so  shall  thy  strength 
be."  Is  it  not  sweet  to  think  that  every  trial, 
as  well  as  every  blessing,  is  sent  for  our  good; 
and  that  not  one  is  permitted  which  Infinite 
Wisdom  does  not  see  to  be  needful  for  us? 
Sweet  to  remember  that 

"  Heaven's  long  age  of  bliss  shall  pay 
For  what  his  children  suffer  here." 


252  THE    SISTERS. 

I  often  wonder  whether  it  is  not  harder  to 
bear  prosperity  than  adversity.  Sometimes  I 
think  that  I  wander  away  from  God  just  in  pro- 
portion as  my  blessings  are  multiplied.  Is  it 
not  strange  that  the  world  can  ever  allure  us 
from  God,  that  temptation  can  have  power  to 
draw  us  into  sin,  when  we  feel  that  all  is  vanity 
and  vexation  of  spirit  ?  It  seems  to  me  that 
heaven's  strongest  attraction  is  its  freedom 
from  temptation. 

In  a  letter  which  I  received  from  Miss  H. 
last  week  she  spoke  of  unusual  interest  in  the 
Normal  School,  and  says  that  souls  are  inquiring 
the  way  to  life.  Such  intelligence  would  be 
cheering  from  any  quarter,  but  it  seems  to  me 
that  those  who  are  preparing  to  teach,  need, 
peculiarly,  for  their  own  souls,  the  teaching  of 
the  Holy  Spirit. 

I  have  often  thought  of  the  Seminary  this 
winter,  and  wondered  whether  any  are  learning 
of  the  Great  Teacher.  If  any  are  still  there  who 
were  once  my  pupils,  will  you  please  tell  them, 
from  me,  that  I  have  not  forgotten  them,  or 
ceased  to  pray  for  them. 

As  ever,  yours, 

LIZZIE. 

Sabbath  evening,  March  4.  I  thank  my  God, 
that  he  has  given  me,  unworthy  as  I  am,  so 


EVENING  HOUR  OF  PRAYER.        253 

much  of  his  blessed  presence  to-day.  This 
morning  my  communion  with  him  was  sweet. 
At  the  footstool  of  his  grace  he  manifested  him- 
self to  me  a  "  God  of  love,  all  love  excelling." 
The  services  of  the  sanctuary  have  been  pecu- 
liarly sweet  to  me,  and  to-night  my  soul  is  over- 
flowing with  gratitude  for  all  these  manifesta- 
tions of  a  heavenly  Father's  kindness.  "  The 
light  of  the  moon  is  as  the  light  of  the  sun,  and 
the  light  of  the  sun  seven  times  greater.77 

A  few  days  since  I  received  a  letter  from  my 
dear  brother,  containing  a  request  that  I  would 
meet  him  and  a  beloved  friend  at  the  throne  of 
grace,  at  half  past  five,  on  Sabbath  evenings. 
Oh,  how  sacred  is  that  hour !  It  seems  to  me 
that  I  can  get  nearer  heaven  than  at  other 
times,  and  I  thank  God  that  he  will  permit 
us  thus  to  implore  his  blessing  upon  each 
other. 

25th.  God  has  very  graciously  manifested 
himself  to  me  to-night,  as  I  bowed  before  him 
in  prayer.  How  sweet  the  thought  that,  uni- 
tedly, at  this  consecrated  hour,  we  may  implore 
his  blessing.  In  union  is  strength.  How  forci- 
bly do  I  feel  this  truth  at  these  seasons,  which, 
with  two  dear  friends,  I  have  set  apart  to  his 
worship.  I  know  that  he  hears  our  petitions 
for  each  other,  and  blesses  according  to  our 


254  THE     SISTERS. 

requests.  At  no  other  time  do  I  enjoy  so  much 
of  his  presence  in  my  devotions,  or  get  so  near 
to  heaven.  And  I  thank  him  for  inclining  my 
dear  brother  to  make  this  proposition.  I  trust 
that  we  shall  all  experience  the  benefits  of  such 
communion,  not  only  for  time  but  throughout 
eternity. 

It  seems  to  me  that  I  view  every  thing  in  a 
new  light  to-night.  I  feel  as  if  God  was  really 
my  reconciled  Father  and  Friend,  and  Christ 
my  elder  brother  indeed.  Oh  that  this  happy 
frame  of  mind  may  continue  ! 

Father,  wilt  thou  evermore  keep  me  very 
humble  before  thee,  and  grant  me  the  smiles 
of  thy  reconciled  countenance.  Oh  that  all  my 
dear  young  friends  here  would  give  themselves 
to  him  !  I  felt  this  afternoon  as  if  I  longed 
to  take  them  in  my  arms  and  bring  them  to 
Christ. 

March  26.  Arose  this  morning  in  a  happy 
frame  of  mind,  and  enjoyed  a  season  of  sweet 
communion  with  my  heavenly  Father.  Have 
experienced  much  of  his  presence  to-day,  and 
have  been  enabled,  through  grace,  to  resist 
temptation.  Oh,  how  delightful  it  is  to  live  near 
to  God  !  I  would  never  again  wander  from  him, 
but  would  dwell  continually  under  the  shadow 
of  his  wing,  and  then  no  matter  what  shall  befall 


SPIRITUAL    ENJOYMENT.  255 

me  here,  so  long  as  he  is  glorified.  All  will  be 
well,  because  God  does  it;  and  I  can  recognize 
his  hand  in  every  thing. 

April  15.  My  thoughts  have  to-day  been, 
almost  uninterruptedly,  on  heavenly  things.  My 
usual  season  of  prayer  has  been  peculiarly 
sweet.  I  seemed  to  see  heaven  opened,  and  to 
commune,  face  to  face,  with  my  Redeemer, — 
almost  to  hear  the  heavenly  hallelujahs  of  the 
shining  throng  about  his  throne.  I  felt  really 
thankful  that  my  dear  sisters  were  already 
there  ;  grateful  to  God  that  he  had  taken  them 
from  this  world  of  sin  and  temptation,  to  a 
world  of  perfect  holiness  and  peace  ;  and  oh  !  I 
long  for  the  hour  when  I  shall  be  set  free  from 
this  body  of  sin,  and  permitted  to  dwell  continu- 
ally with  God.  Here  I  am  so  easily  led  astray ; 
the  pride  of  my  heart  is  my  most  formidable 
foe  ;  but  I  am  striving  to  overcome,  and,  by 
divine  grace,  I  hope  for 

"A  heart  resigned,  submissive,  meek, 

A  heart  from  sin  set  free, 
A  heart  that 's  sprinkled  with  the  blood 
So  freely  shed  for  me." 

I  can  now  say,  in  the  words  of  the  morning 
text,  "  I  know  in  whom  1  have  believed,  and  am 


256  THE     SISTERS. 

persuaded  that  he  is  able  to  keep  that  which  I 
have  committed  to  him  against  that  day.'7 

"  My  willing  soul  would  stay 

In  such  a  frame  as  this, 
And  sit,  and  sing  herself  away 
To  everlasting  bliss." 

Have  been  writing  a  note  to  E.  D.,  and  I  pray 
God  that  he  will  add  his  blessing,  and  make  it 
to  him  a  means  of  much  good. 

Sabbath  evening,  April  15. 
MY  DEAR  BROTHER  :  —  Perhaps  you  have 
sometimes  thought  that  I  had  no  anxiety  for 
your  salvation,  because  I  have  not  conversed 
with  you  about  your  soul ;  but  God  knows  how 
earnestly  I  have  prayed  that  you  may,  in  the 
morning  of  life,  be  made  his  child.  Sometimes, 
when  I  think  of  our  dear  sisters,  already  in 
heaven,  and  the  possibility  that  we  may  not  all 
spend  eternity  together,  I  have  to  stop  and 
weep.  What  if  all  the  rest  should  be  saved, 
and  you  lost  ?  Are  you  willing  that  it  should 
be  so  ?  Then  do  not  put  off  repentance  another 
day,  but  come  to-night  to  God,  who  will  receive 
you,  just  as  you  are,  without  money  and  with- 
out price.  Only  think  of  fourteen  long  years 
spent  in  sinning  against  and  grieving  a  Saviour 


NOTE   TO    HER   BROTHER.  257 

who  gave  his  life  for  you,  and  who  gives  you  all 
the  blessings  you  enjoy.  If  you  can  scarcely 
forgive  one  who  offends  you,  for  whom  you  have 
done  nothing,  think  how  you  must  seem  in  the 
eyes  of  a  holy  God,  who  hates  sin  with  a  per- 
fect hatred.  To-morrow  he  may  not  incline 
your  heart  to  seek  him,  or  you  may  be  in  eter- 
nity. Do  not  put  it  off  any  longer,  but  give 
him  your  heart  now. 

If  you  can  tell  me  how  you  feel  about  the 
matter  any  better  in  a  note,  write  to  me  when 
you  have  made  up  your  mind  whether  to  be  for 
Christ,  or  against  him. 

Your  affectionate  sister, 

ELIZABETH. 

Sabbath  evening,  May  27.  To-day  Mary  B. 
expressed  a  desire  to  join  my  class  in  the  Sab- 
bath School.  I  have  now  six  interesting  girls 
under  my  instruction,  just  at  that  age  when 
they  need  peculiarly  to  be  guided  aright.  I 
want  to  interest  them  more  than  they  have  ever 
been  before.  I  have  new  desires  and  new  aspi- 
rations to  become  a  better  teacher,  and  I  trust 
that  they  are  prompted  by  God,  and  will  receive 
his  benediction.  My  hope  of  usefulness  is  en- 
tirely in  him,  for  I  have  a  humiliating  conscious- 
ness of  my  own  inability  and  insufficiency,  with- 
17 


258  THE     SISTERS. 

out  his  aid.  Tonight,  in  communion  with  him, 
I  have  found  him  precious, — have  been  enabled 
to  seek  that  assistance  that  I  need,  and  to  com- 
mend my  dear  pupils  to  him,  feeling  that  he  is 
able  to  embrace  them  all  in  the  covenant  of  his 
love.  I  desire  to  do  my  whole  duty  patiently, 
diligently,  and  perseveringly,  and  with  him  will 
I  leave  results. 

Aug.  10.  This  evening,  as  my  uncle  Eussel 
(Mr.  R.  Ives,)  was  returning  home,  after  the 
third  service  at  church,  he  was  arrested  by  the 
angel  of  death,  and  in  a  moment  removed  from 
earth.  He  had  reached  the  age  of  threescore 
and  ten  years,  but  he  seemed  in  full  vigor  and 
strength.  How  true  it  is  that  "  in  such  an  hour 
as  we  think  not,  the  Son  of  man  cometh  "  !  Oh 
that  this  bereavement  may  be  sanctified  to  his 
family,  and  to  the  church  of  which  he  has  long- 
been  an  exemplary  member !  Leaving  not  an 
enemy  on  earth,  he  has  gone  to  dwell  for  ever 

"  Where  congregations  ne'er  break  up, 
And  Sabbaths  never  end." 

His  family  are  bereft  of  a  kind  husband  and 
most  affectionate  father,  but  their  loss  is  his 
gain.  I  desire  to  lay  this  lesson  to  heart,  and 
receive  it  as  an  admonition  from  above,  saying, 
" Prepare  to  meet  thy  God."  "Be  ye  also  ready.77 


INTEREST   IN   FAMILY   CARES.  259 

Abundant  evidence  has  already  been  afforded 
of  the  strength  and  tenderness  of  Elizabeth's 
home  attachments.  The  purpose  which  she 
formed  of  being  a  "  good  daughter  and  sister/7 
was  not  a  matter  of  constraint  or  self-denial. 
To  her  parents  she  was  ever  a  most  affectionate 
companion ;  entering  with  alacrity  into  all  the 
domestic  concerns  of  the  family,  and  ever  seek- 
ing to  take  upon  herself  whatever  might  afford 
relief  or  assistance  to  her  mother.  Even  in  the 
outdoor  affairs  of  the  farm  she  took  a  lively 
interest.  During  this  summer  her  father  built 
a  new  barn,  with  the  accompanying  out-build- 
ings, and  she  entered,  with  much  delight,  into 
the  undertaking,  drawing  plans,  contriving  many 
little  conveniences,  and  throwing  over  all  a 
pleasing  appearance  of  neatness  and  taste.  Nor 
did  she  feel  that  any  thing  of  this  kind  was 
inconsistent  with  female  delicacy.  Preserving 
in  her  own  person  and  manners  the  most  scru- 
pulous propriety,  and  the  truest  refinement  of 
sentiment  and  feeling,  she  shed  a  grace  upon 
the  humblest  occupations,  and  showed  them  all 
dignified  by  the  unsullied  purity  of  heart  and 
purpose  with  which  they  were  undertaken. 

Her  influence,  at  this  time,  was  especially 
valuable  to  her  younger  brothers,  three  of  whom 
were  at  home.  She  superintended  their  studies, 


260  THE     SISTEES. 

counseled  them  as  to  their  reading,  encouraged 
them  in  all  manly  aspirations,  and,  above  all, 
sought  to  promote  their  spiritual  welfare.  What 
language  can  adequately  express  the  worth  of 
such  a  sister  to  a  family  of  boys,  in  this  forming 
period  of  life  ? 


END    OF   THE   DIAEY.  261 


CHAPTEE    XIII. 

End  of  the  diary — Visiting  —  Beginning  of  sickness  —  Invitation  to 
Harrisburgh —  Severe  suffering  —  Medical  attendance  —  Cheerfulness 
—  Submission  —  Solicitude  for  her  mother— Unclouded  hope  — Fare- 
wells—Death—  Letters  of  friends. 

THE  extract  with  which  the  preceding  chap- 
ter closed  was  from  the  last  entry  in  Elizabeth's 
journal.  The  book  which  she  had  used  was 
filled,  and  she  omitted  to  procure  another. 
Henceforth  we  are  compelled  to  supply  the 
failure  of  this  guide  from  a  few  letters  that 
remain,  and  the  recollection  of  her  friends. 
Sufficient,  however,  is  afforded  us  to  show  how 
she,  who  had  twice  gone  down  into  the  dark 
valley  as  companion  and  nurse,  was  enabled  to 
pass  through  it  in  person ;  and  how  the  great 
Comforter,  who  had  then  so  filled  it  with  his 
light  and  joy,  was  present  with  her,  giving  a  like 
victory  over  all  the  power  of  death. 

,  The  autumn  and  winter  of  1855-6  were  occu- 
pied chiefly  with  visiting.  Few  persons  better 
loved  their  friends  than  she  did;  and  the  days 


262  THE     SISTEES. 

which  she  spent  with  them  were  full  of  enjoy- 
ment. Nor  was  the  pleasure  she  always  gave 
inferior  to  that  she  received.  Her  quiet  arid 
winning  ways,  her  ready  helpfulness  in  every 
thing  in  which  she  could  aid,  her  perfect  unself- 
ishness, and  her  ever  sunny  smile,  gave  a  rare 
charm  to  her  society,  and  made  her  visits  most 
welcome  wherever  she  came. 

To  HER  MOTHER.  AT        ,    0     ,    1A 

Newark,  Sept.  10. 

My  promise  to  write  the  first  of  the  week  has 
almost  failed,  but,  really,  I  could  not  do  it  be- 
fore. I  am  having  the  "  greatest  times  "  you 
ever  knew,  and  have  enjoyed  my  visit  thus  far 
in  the  superlative  degree.  Saturday  morning  I 
went  with  cousin  Ann,  as  she  has  taught  me  to 
call  her,  to  market.  The  market  here  is  five 
hundred  or  six  hundred  feet  long,  and  in  the 
evening,  with  its  long  line  of  gas  lights  extend- 
ing through  the  center,  it  looks  beautifully. 
Newark  is  more  than  twice  the  size  of  New 
Haven,  containing  over  fifty  thousand  inhabi- 
tants. It  has  fifty  churches,  many  of  which  are 
very  fine.  Broad  street,  near  which  Mr.  F. 
lives,  is  some  three  miles  long,  and  perfectly 
straight  and  level.  In  the  evening  it  shows 
splendidly. 

Yesterday  I  visited  the  Orphan  Asylum.     Its 


AT   NEWARK.  263 

anniversary  comes  off  this  evening,  and  we  lis- 
tened to  the  preparatory  exercises  of  the  chil- 
dren, some  fifty  in  number.  Among  them  is  one 
dear  little  girl,  about  two  years  old,  whose 
father  and  mother  died  very  suddenly.  Two 
older  ones  are  in  the  Asylum  with  her,  and 
three  have  been  sent  to  Baltimore.  It  is  sup- 
posed they  have  some  property,  but,  as  yet,  no 
clue  to  it  has  been  found.  These  children  were 
brought  here  last  week  and  in  the  youngest  I 
feel  much  interested. 

After  a  visit  of  five  weeks  in  Newark  she 
came  home,  —  but  not  till  her  friends  had  made 
her  promise  to  return  again  and  spend  the  holi- 
days with  them.  During  this  second  visit  she 
writes  : 

"  I  received  a  hearty  welcome  from  all  the 
members  of  the  family,  except  Ponto.  Lizzie  is 
a  sweet  girl,  and  just  as  good.  I  like  her  — 
love  her,  if  you  please  —  very  much  indeed. 
We  are  already  fast  friends. " 

The  young  lady  here  mentioned,  though  much 
younger  than  Elizabeth,  was  of  a  kindred  spirit 
with  her  own.  She  had  from  her  seventh  year 
cherished  the  hope  that  she  was  a  child  of  God, 
and  this  visit,  it  is  believed,  was  the  occasion  to 
her  of  much  spiritual  good,  in  enlarging  her 


264  THE     SISTERS 

views  and  strengthening  her  purpose  of  con- 
secration to  him.  She,  too,  has  now  passed 
away  ! 

It  was  while  absent  on  this  visit  to  her  friends 
in  Newark,  that  Elizabeth  had  the  first  severe 
attack  of  suffering  from  the  disease  (an  internal 
tumor)  which  was,  at  length,  to  terminate  her 
life.  Something  of  it  she  had  felt  for  months,  — 
as  far  back,  indeed,  as  before  the  close  of  her 
school  in  Plymouth,  —  but  it  had  given  her  but 
slight  inconvenience,  and,  consequently,  little 
alarm.  Hence,  also,  with  her  characteristic 
desire  to  avoid  causing  anxiety  to  her  parents, 
she  had  never  mentioned  to  them  the  existence 
of  her  disease,  till  compelled  to  do  so,  when  it 
had  already  passed  beyond  the  reach  of  human 
help  —  as,  indeed,  it  probably  had  been  from  its 
very  commencement. 

Her  stay  in  N.  was  prolonged  till  late  in 
January,  when  she  came  home,  to  take  her 
place  on  the  invalid's  couch.  She  was  not,  how- 
ever, immediately  confined  to  it,  but  was  able  to 
get  about  her  room,  and,  occasionally,  to  ride 
out,  when  the  weather  permitted.  But  the  par- 
oxysms of  pain  were  now  more  frequent,  and 
she  found  it  necessary  to  remain  quiet  as  much 
as  possible.  At  this  time  she  addressed  the  fol- 
lowing touching  note  of  sympathy  to  her  friend, 


LETTER   OF   CONSOLATION.  265 

Mrs.  W.,  at  Plymouth,  who  had  been  suddenly 
bereft  of  her  little  daughter,  one  of  the  pets  of 
the  school,  and  a  strongly  attached  friend  to 
Elizabeth. 

Mt.  Carmel,  Jan.  31,  1856. 

MY  DEAR  AFFLICTED  FRIEND  :  —  I  have  this 
afternoon  heard  of  the  death  of  your  dear  little 
Lillie,  and  I  can  not  rest  till  I  have  told  how 
much  I  sympathize  with  you  in  this  sore  be- 
reavement. At  first  I  tried  to  fancy  that  it 
might  be  a  mistake  ;  but,  as  the  intelligence 
was  so  direct,  I  am  forced  to  the  conclusion 
that  it  is,  doubtless,  too  true,  although  so  hard 
to  believe.  I  do  not  write  because  I  can  ever 
hope  to  comfort  you,  but  to  relieve  my  own 
heart,  which  aches  for  you.  I  am  so  thankful 
that  you  know  where,  in  such  seasons  of  dis- 
tress, to  go  for  consolation ;  else,  I  am  sure  you 
could  not  endure  this  great  trial.  May  he  who 
has  promised,  "  As  thy  day  so  thy  strength  shall 
be,"  give  you  support,  and  grant  that  all  your 
trials  here  may  only  make  you  richer  in  that 
world  where  he  is  gathering  our  treasures. 

That  beautiful  hymn  commencing,  "  Who  are 
these  in  bright  array  ?  "  has  been  to  me  so  com- 
forting that  I  must  refer  you  to  it,  for  in  it,  all 
that  is  mysterious  in  our  afflictions  seems  solved. 
Dear  little  Lillie,  —  now  a  sweet  angel,- — has 


266  THE   SISTERS. 

escaped  all  these  trials,  and   can  never  more 
know  sorrow  or  suffering.     Blessed  thought ! 

If  it  will  not  be  too  great  a  tax  upon  your 
feelings,  a  line  containing  some  particulars  of 
the  event  would  be  very  gratefully  received. 
I  have  heard,  merely,  that  it  resulted  from  an 
accident.  7Ma  unites  with  me  in  sending  much 
love  and  sympathy  to  you  all. 

Yours,  very  affectionately, 

ELIZABETH. 

About  the  same  time  she  received  a  flattering 
invitation  to  engage  as  teacher,  in  a  Female 
Seminary  in  Harrisburgh,  Pa.  Notwithstanding 
the  state  of  her  health,  the  offer  seemed  to  kin- 
dle anew  that  strong  love  for  teaching,  and 
desire  of  usefulness,  which  had  before  been 
with  her  a  ruling  passion ;  and,  for  a  short  time, 
she  even  cherished  the  idea  that  she  might,  in 
the  ensuing  summer,  accept  the  situation.  But 
this  illusion  of  hope  was  brief.  She  was  soon 
taught,  too  plainly  for  mistake,  that  her  work 
on  earth  was  done,  save  that  last  one  which  a 
child  of  God  can  do,  —  to  glorify  him  on  the 
bed  of  sickness,  and,  like  the  loved  ones  who 
had  gone  before,  show  "how  a  Christian  can 
die." 

For  convenience  in  procuring  medical  attend- 


SICKNESS   AND   SUFFEKING.  267 

ance,  Elizabeth  went,  in  March,  to  New  Haven, 
where  she  spent  eight  weeks  in  care  of  a  skill- 
ful nurse  and  devoted  Christian  friend.  Her 
condition  was  now  so  critical  that  she  felt  little 
hope  of  benefit,  but  was  willing  to  do  any  thing 
which  her  parents  might  desire.  She  said, 
indeed,  little  of  her  danger ;  evidently  through 
fear  of  increasing  their  anxiety.  On  the  even- 
ing before  she  left  she  rode  with  her  brother,  to 
make  some  calls  through  the  village,  and,  on 
being  gently  dissuaded  from  so  far  exhausting 
her  strength,  she  remarked,  quietly,  "  If  I  don't 
go  to-night  I  never  shall."  This  was  one  of  the 
first  intimations  she  gave  that  she  considered 
her  disease  fatal,  but  it  betrayed  no  emotion 
and  no  disappointment.  Though  the  path  that 
opened  before  her  was  dark  and  painful,  yet  it 
was  her  Father's  hand  that  beckoned  her  for- 
ward, and  she  had  too  long  trusted  and  loved 
that  hand  to  shrink  from  it  now. 

The  weeks  which  she  spent  in  New  Haven 
were  weeks  of  intense  suffering,  while  her  dis- 
ease was  advancing  to  its  culmination.  She 
was,  however,  uniformly  cheerful  and  happy. 
Says  the  lady  with  whom  she  resided,  "In 
going  to  her  room  she  would  always  meet  me 
with  such  a  peaceful  smile  that  it  seemed  as  if 
heaven  beamed  from  her  countenance.  I  would 


268  THE   SISTERS. 

say  to  her,  'Well,  dear,  how  do  you  feel  now  ? ' 
6  Oh ! 7  she  replied,  •'  God  is  very  good  to  me. 
I  have  had  a  good  night,  and  have  just  been 
thinking  how  much  better  off  I  am  than  many 
others  ;  for  I  have  the  best  of  care,  and  every 
thing  for  my  comfort  that  heart  can  wish ;  above 
all,  I  have  such  sweet  communion  with  God. 
He  makes  all  my  bed  in  my  sickness.  What 
should  I  do  without  my  Saviour  ?  He  is 
precious  to  my  soul,  and  I  am  willing  to  leave 
myself  in  his  hands,  knowing  that  whatever  he 
does  will  be  for  the  best.7 

"  At  another  time  she  remarked, '  I  have  but 
one  thing  that  I  would  care  to  live  for,  and  that 
is  my  dear  mother.  She  will  be  left  without  a 
daughter  to  be  a  comfort  to  her  in  her  old  age. 
I  sometimes  fear  that  she  makes  an  idol  of  me7 
and  puts  me  between  herself  and  God,  —  that, 
you  know,  must  never  be.7  7; 

Elizabeth  had  too  long  been  a  learner  in  the 
school  of  affliction  to  be  ignorant  of  its  lessons, 
or  of  the  purposes  of  Divine  Wisdom  in  impart- 
ing them.  In  reference  to  this  she  one  day 
said,  "  When  my  last  sister  died  it  was  the  bit- 
terest of  all  earthly  sorrows.  To  love  tenderly 
and  deeply,  and  then  to  part ;  to  meet  for  the 
last  time  on  earth;  to  have  all  past  remem- 
brances of  home  and  kindred  broken  up ;  this 


GEIEF    SANCTIFIED.  269 

is,  indeed,  the  reality  of  sorrow.  To  look  upon 
the  loved  face  that  shall  smile  on  us  no  more ; 
to  close  the  eyes  that  will  behold  us  no  more ; 
to  stand  by  the  side  of  your  last  sister,  yet  hear 
no  sound  and  receive  no  greeting ;  to  carry  the 
beloved  one  to  the  tomb,  and  return  to  a  deso- 
lated home  with  a  blank  in  your  heart  which 
can  never  be  filled  till  Jesus  comes  with  all  his 
saints,  — •  this  is  the  bitterness  of  grief.  Such 
is  the  rod  which  my  heavenly  Father  has  laid 
upon  me.  He  is  making  room  thereby  in  my 
heart  for  himself.  And  now,  perhaps,  he  sees 
the  joys  of  an  earthly  home  stealing  my  affec- 
tions away  from  the  '  many  mansions '  above, 
and,  in  mercy,  comes  to  tear  me  from  that  home, 
that  I  may  have  no  idol  here.  He  claims  our 
affections  as  all  his  own,  and  every  idol  he  will 
utterly  abolish." 

"  I  feel/7  she  subsequently  added,  "  that  I  fall 
very  far  short  of  my  desire,  but  I  want  to  have 
my  will  entirely  swallowed  up  in  his,  and  to 
maintain  continually  a  sacred  nearness  to  my 
God." 

Occasionally,  during  the  early  part  of  this 
period,  she  spent  a  day  or  two  at  home.  At 
snch  times  she  was  ever  cheerful  and  hopeful, 
endeavoring  in  every  way  to  encourage  her 
parents  in  respect  to  her  recovery.  "  I  have 


270  THE    SISTERS. 

no  doubt,  says  her  mother,  "  that  she  had  a 
greater  desire  to  be  restored  to  health  for  my 
sake  than  for  her  own.  As  her  sickness  ad- 
vanced, and  the  issue  of  it  began  to  appear 
doubtful,  she  often  remarked  to  her  acquaint- 
ances, '  I  have  no  desire  to  get  well  on  my  own 
account,  but  my  mother — she  will  have  no 
daughter  if  I  am  taken.7  r' 

Her  disease  reached  its  crisis  early  in  May, 
when  extreme  prostration  and  weakness  imme- 
diately ensued,  and  she  hastened  home.  Still, 
her  condition  did  not  so  much  alarm,  for  it  was 
regarded  as  a  necessary  stage  before  amend- 
ment began.  It  was,  nevertheless,  a  sad  hour 
when  she  returned,  weak  and  pale,  to  bring  the 
shadow  of  the  destroyer  across  the  threshold 
which  had  twice  before  been  desolated  by  his 
presence.  Her  father,  as  if  already  feeling  the 
approaching  sorrow,  said  to  her,  as  they  were 
conversing  upon  the  dealings  of  Providence 
with  them,  "  It  seems,  indeed,  mysterious  that 
you,  too,  the  last  one  of  the  three,  should  be 
thus  laid  aside."  "  Oh !  no/7  she  quickly  re- 
plied, "  I  can  see  it  all  perfectly  plain.  It  is 
just  the  discipline  I  needed.  I  have  often  felt 
that  I  had  no  satisfactory  evidence  that  God 
will  accept  me,  —  but  this,  I  believe,  I  may 
receive  as  such,  for  i  whom  the  Lord  loveth  he 


CONVERSION  OF  A  YOUNG  BROTHER.    271 

chasteneth,  and  scourgeth  every  son  that  h© 
receiveth.7 ;;  It  was,  indeed,  a  rare  faith  which 
not  only  granted  such  support  under  her  afflic- 
tion, but  which  made  affliction  itself  a  source 
of  joy,  —  a  proof  which,  more  than  health,  or 
any  earthly  good,  assured  her  of  her  Father's 
faithfulness  and  love. 

The  conversation  of  that  evening  is  memo- 
rable in  the  family,  not  only  on  its  own  account, 
but  because  one  of  the  younger  sons  dates  from 
it  his  conversion  to  Christ.  He  had  witnessed 
the  value  of  religion  as  a  support  under  suffer- 
ing, and  felt  the  power  of  that  invisible  Pres- 
ence which  came  so  near  to  him  in  that  pale, 
yet  beaming  countenance,  and,  on  retiring  to 
bed,  he  was  unable  to  sleep.  His  distress  be- 
came such,  ere  morning,  that  he  called  for  his 
mother  to  come  to  him.  She  found  him  in  tears, 
and,  to  her  inquiries  as  to  the  cause,  replied 
that  he  felt  himself  to  be  a  sinner.  She  coun- 
seled and  prayed  with  him,  and,  ere  she  left  the 
room,  he  said  to  her,  with  solemn  earnestness, 
"  Mother,  I  wiU  be  a  Christian."  Very  soon 
after  he  was  rejoicing  in  the  love  of  Christ.  It 
is  now  the  fondly  cherished  hope  of  the  family 
that  the  same  afflictive  providence  which  re- 
moved one  child  from  their  embrace,  may  have 
been  made  the  occasion  of  giving  to  them 


272  THE   SISTERS. 

another  in  the  Lord,  and,  ultimately,  of  giving 
to  the  church  a  devoted  Christian  minister. 

For  a  few  weeks  Elizabeth  remained  much 
the  same  as  at  her  return,  though,  at  times,  suf- 
fering exceedingly,  and  continually  growing 
weaker.  Through  all,  she  exhibited  the  same 
unfaltering  cheerfulness  and  perfect  trust.  One 
morning  her  mother  having  made  her  bed,  and 
noticing  the  placid  expression  of  her  counte- 
nance, remarked,  "  I  believe,  Lizzie,  you  will  get 
well,  after  all/7  Instantly,  with  a  look  of  meek 
submission,  she  replied,  "When  I  am  sufficiently 
tried,  mother.77  Not  a  murmur  of  impatience 
ever  escaped  her,  —  scarcely  a  groan,  even,  — 
under  the  extremest  paroxysms  of  pain.  She 
repressed,  as  far  as  possible,  every  indication  of 
suffering,  in  order  to  spare  the  feelings  of  the 
beloved  ones  who  were  watching  over  her  with 
so  much  anxiety. 

In  the  intervals  between  these  paroxysms,  she 
was  very  comfortable,  and,  save  her  weakness, 
had  little  to  hinder  her  free  intercourse  with 
heaven.  These  were  periods  of  great  enjoy- 
ment. Once  she  complained  of  herself  for 
having  been  overtaken  by  sleep  when  silently 
engaged  in  prayer.  Her  mother  replied  that 
she  thought,  in  her  present  circumstances,  she 
ought  to  regard  it  as  a  favor  that  she  could 


INCREASING   WEAKNESS.  273 

pray  herself  to  sleep.  She  seemed  pleased  with 
the  thought,  and  grateful  that  she  might  thus 
repose  in  the  care  of  him  who  "  so  giveth  his 
beloved  sleep." 

Sabbath,  July  13th,  was  the  first  day  in 
which  she  did  not  sit  up  in  her  chair  to  take 
her  meals  and  read  her  three  chapters  in  the 
Bible,  as  usual.  On  the  evening  of  that  day 
she  said,  with  some  emotion,  "  I  have  not  read 
a  word  in  my  Bible  to-day/'  and  remarked  to 
her  mother  that,  up  to  that  time,  she  had  been 
enabled  to  maintain  her  regular  habit  of  read- 
ing without  intermission.  The  stated  period 
for  this  was  the  morning.  If  the  chapters  in 
course  were  long,  she  anticipated  a  part  of  them 
the  morning  previous,  so  as,  in  no  event,  to  be 
prevented  from  accomplishing  the  prescribed 
amount. 

That  Sabbath  evening  was  beautiful  with  all 
the  charms  of  early  summer.  She  sat  by  the 
open  window  in  that  beloved  south  chamber 
where  Abbie,  four  years  before,  had  so  oft  en- 
joyed the  same  scene,  and  communed  with  him 
who  disclosed  himself  in  all  its  attractions.  Her 
eye  feasted  upon  it  a  long  time,  and  she  re- 
peated, with  much  delight,  these  beautiful 
words : 

18 


274  THE     SISTERS. 

Hail,  tranquil  hour  of  closing  day ! 

Begone,  disturbing  care  ! 
And  look,  my  soul,  from  earth  away, 
To  him  that  heareth  prayer. 

• 
How  sweet  the  tear  of  penitence 

Before  the  throne  of  grace, 

While,  to  the  contrite  spirit's  sense, 

He  shows  his  smiling  face. 

How  sweet,  through  long  remembered  years, 

His  mercies  to  recall ; 
And,  pressed  with  wants  and  griefs  and  fears, 

To  trust  his  love  for  all. 

How  sweet  to  look,  in  thoughtful  hope, 

Beyond  this  fading  sky, 
And  hear  him  call  his  children  up 

To  his  fair  home  on  high. 

Calmly  the  day  forsakes  our  heaven 

To  dawn  beyond  the  west ; 
So  let  my  soul,  in  life's  last  even, 

Retire  to  glorious  rest. 

In  the  afternoon  of  the  next  day  she  was 
seized  with  the  last  violent  attack  of  acute  pain; 
which  continued  more  than  an  hour.  During 
this  paroxysm,  no  exclamation  nor  word  of  com- 
plaint escaped  her  lips.  Once  she  said  only; 
"  Oh,  this  is  a  killing  process  !  I  never  experi- 
enced such  pain  before.'7  This  attack  was  fol- 


PEACE.  275 

lowed  by  almost  constant  vomiting,  which  con- 
tinued through  the  night  after,  and  left  her,  in 
the  morning,  too  much  exhausted  even  to  speak. 
The  friend  with  whom  she  had  staid  in  New 
Haven,  Mrs.  H.,  arrived  during  the  morning. 
Elizabeth,  hearing  her  voice  below,  and  know- 
ing that  breakfast  was  preparing  for  her,  — 
that  prominent  trait  of  caring  for  the  comfort 
of  others  rallied,  and,  though  but  just  able  to 
whisper,  she  said  to  her  mother  "  make  green 
tea." 

Having  taken  some  gentle  restorative,  she 
revived,  and  received  Mrs.  H.  with  great  grati- 
fication. "  Have  you  asked  Mrs.  H./7  she  said 
to  her  mother,  "  if  she  thinks  I  shall  get  over 
this?"  Mrs.  H.  replied,  "We  are  very  sorry  to 
find  you  so  weak,  but  still  have  hope."  She 
dropped  her  eyelids  for  a  moment,  and  then 
said,  "  My  Saviour  will  take  me  home  !  "  "  Do 
you  think  you  are  near  the  end?"  "Yes." 
"  How  does  death  appear  to  you  now ? "  "I 
have  no  fear,"  she  said,  for 

Jesus  can  make  a  dying  bed 

Feel  soft  as  downy  pillows  are, 
While  on  his  breast  I  lean  my  head, 

And  breathe  my  life  out  sweetly  there. 

Her  eye  fell  upon  her  mother,  with  a  look 


276  THE     SISTERS. 

of  tender  but  sorrowful  affection,  and  she 
exclaimed,  "  Oh  that  my  dear  mother  could  give 
me  up,  and  let  me  go  to  my  Saviour  !  I  long  to 
be  with  him  and  my  dear  sisters."  With  much 
effort,  Mrs.  D.  was  enabled  to  assure  her  that 
she  willingly  relinquished  her  to  God's  will, 
knowing  that,  though  bereaved,  she  should  still 
be  provided  for,  and  that  they  should  very  soon 
meet  again,  where  there  would  be  no  more 
separation. 

This  assurance  she  received  with  evident 
gratification,  and  the  last  link  which  bound  her 
to  earth  being  thus  broken,  she  had  naught  to 
do  but  look  forward  to  her  welcome  release. 
Her  countenance  now  beamed  with  a  heavenly 
radiance,  and  bore  witness  to  the  holy  joy  and 
peace  of  her  soul.  She  was  asked  if  she  had 
any  new  views  of  Christ,  and  replied  "  He  is  all 
glorious,"  —  and,  in  accents  too  broken  to  be 
repeated,  testified  the  preciousness  of  his  love. 

Shortly  after  she  tried  to  repeat  the  hymn, 
"  Jerusalem,  my  happy  home/7  which  she  had 
often  sung ;  but,  being  unable,  from  her  failing 
strength,  she  said,  "I  am  almost  gone."  She 
then  took  leave,  most  tenderly,  of  those  present, 
exhorting  each  to  be  more  faithful  than  she  had 
been ;  left  a  kind  message  for  an  absent  brother, 
and  said  "Give  my  love  to  every  body  —  tell 


DEATH.  277 

them  to  be  more  faithful,  —  and  to  the  impeni- 
tent, to  seek  an  interest  in  Christ.77  Then, 
clasping  her  hands  and  laying  them  on  her 
breast,  she  engaged,  evidently,  in  silent  prayer, 
which  was  ended  in  the  praises  of  Heaven. 
Gently,  without  a  struggle,  on  that  fair  summer 
morning,  she  fell  asleep,  and 

"BESTED  IN  JESUS." 


The  intelligence  of  Elizabeth7s  death  brought 
to  the  thrice  afflicted  family  many  letters  of 
sympathy  from  the  numerous  circle  of  friends, 
among  whom  she  had  been  so  much  beloved. 
Some  extracts  from  these,  as  illustrative  of  the 
character  of  those  whose  brief  career  has  now 
been  sketched,  are  subjoined. 

Prom  Miss   E.   PARSONS,  formerly  preceptress 

of  the  Seward  Institute,  Florida,  N.  Y. 
Elizabeth,  while  a  member  of  my  school,  was 
invariably  faithful  in  her  studies,  and  exemplary 
in  her  deportment.  She  had  the  highest  sense 
of  the  value  of  time,  and  seemed  eager  to 
acquire  the  greatest  possible  amount  of  knowl- 
edge,—  actually  going  over  more  ground  in  her 
studies,  for  the  time  she  was  with  me,  than  any 
pupil  I  ever  had.  Her  love  for  truth  seemed  to 
clothe  all  her  studies  with  beauty,  and  nothing 


278  THE     SISTEES. 

short  of  a  full  comprehension  of  them  would 
satisfy  her.  Her  special  delight  was  mathe- 
matics. She  often  said  to  me,  when  reciting 
geometry,  "  Oh,  what  a  beautiful  problem  ! " 

Her  religious  principles  were  firm.  She 
spent  much  time  in  reading  the  Scriptures  and 
in  devotional  exercises,  and  in  the  observance 
of  the  Sabbath  was  exceedingly  strict.  Her 
compositions,  I  believe,  were  all  on  serious  sub- 
jects, dwelling  much  on  the  character  and  attri- 
butes of  God,  particularly  his  condescension 
and  love.  Her  influence  in  the  school  and 
family  was  great,  because  it  was  invariably 
good. 

That  one  so  gifted,  so  useful,  and  so  truly 
pious,  should  thus  early  be  called  away,  is  one 
of  those  problems  of  Divine  Wisdom  which 
eternity  alone  can  solve. 

From  MES.  B.,  Wolcott. 

I  have  ever  considered  dear  Abbie's  religious 
character  as  remarkable  in  one  so  young.  During 
her  brief  sojourn  with  us,*  I  was  often  struck 
with  her  consistent  walk.  She  was  conscien- 
tious, yet  ever  cheerful,  and  remarkably  patient 
under  all  the  cares  and  trials  of  a  teacher. 

*  In  Wolcott,  as  a  teacher,  in  the  summer  of  1847. 


LETTERS   OF  FRIENDS.  279 

But  the  great  secret  of  her  character  lay  in 
her  life  of  prayer.  Daily  she  drew  fresh  sup- 
plies of  grace  from  that  heavenly  fountain.  I 
never  doubted  her  success,  as  a  teacher,  after  I 
casually  overheard  her  earnest  pleadings  with 
her  Saviour  for  strength  and  wisdom  to  do  all 
her  duty.  She  evinced  a  deep  concern  for 
souls,  particularly  those  over  whom  she  exerted 
an  influence.  I  doubt  not  that  many  are  now 
stars  in  her  crown  of  rejoicing  whom  she  won, 
by  her  godly  life,  to  the  embrace  of  the 
Saviour. 

Prom  Miss  G-.,  New  Haven. 

I  shall  never  forget  the  many  pleasant  hours 
I  spent  in  Lizzie's  society,  especially,  during  the 
winter  that  my  mother  died.  I  was  lonely  and 
sad,  —  she  came  often  to  see  me.  and  her  affec- 
tionate sympathy  greatly  endeared  her  to  my 
heart.  I  can  see  her  now,  as  she  used  to  come 
smilingly  in,  saying,  "  I  have  come  to  sit  an 
hour  with  you,"  or  spend  a  night,  as  she  found 
it  convenient.  Those  were  pleasant  hours.  She 
would  read  to  me,  play  for  me,  and  do  all  she 
could  to  cheer  my  saddened  spirit.  I  ever  felt 
that  she  was  devotedly  pious,  and  was  often 
reproved  by  her  consistent  example. 

We  call  it  mysterious  when   the  useful  and 


280  THE    SISTERS. 

the  good  are  thus  early  called  home  ;  but  did 
not  dear  Lizzie,  in  her  short  life,  accomplish 
more  than  many  who  live  to  old  age  ?  " 

Prom  MRS.  C.;  JFarmington. 

My  thoughts  have  been  with  you  in  the  sad 
scenes  through  which  you  have  passed,  and, 
while  I  mourn  for  you,  I  can  not  but  rejoice  for 
Lizzie.  Her  protracted  sufferings  are  ended, 
and  she  has  entered  the  rest  prepared  for 
God's  people.  To-day  I  received  a  letter  from 
one  of  the  ladies  at  Mrs.  II.?s,  giving  me  a  slight 
account  of  her  last  hours.  What  mercies  are 
mingled  in  your  bitter  cup  of  sorrow  ! 

I  think  Lizzie's  implicit  confidence  in  God 
was  strongly  marked,  even  from  the  first ;  and 
when  her  symptoms  were  so  strangely  mysteri- 
ous, and  there  was  so  much  reason  to  hope  for 
a  cure,  I  was  always  pleased  to  witness  that 
quiet  spirit  which  those  only  possess  whose 
hope  is  on  the  Eock  of  Ages.  And,  as  the 
weeks  passed  away,  and  her  sufferings  daily 
increased,  her  patience  and  trust  seemed  to 
increase  in  a  double  ratio.  I  shall  never  forget 
her  submissive  countenance,  nor  her  grateful 
expressions  for  the  very  little  we  could  do  to 
allay  a  temporary  spasm  of  pain. 

The  morning  on  which  she  left  New  Haven  I 


LETTERS   OF   FRIENDS.  281 

could  not  refrain  from  giving  way  to  my  sor- 
row ;  and,  as  I  went  up  to  our  room,  I  said, 
Lizzie  will  never  enter  this  house  again.  I 
thought  she  could  hardly  live  as  long  as  July. 
Wearisome  days  and  nights  have,  indeed,  been 
her  portion,  and,  while  at  times  we  could  not 
but  hope  for  a  favorable  change,  yet  her  disease 
was  progressing  slowly  and  surely,  as  we  now 
know.  I  had  not  the  heart  to  tell  you  how  very 
sad  and  hopeless  her  case  seemed  when  I  saw 
her  last.  The  same  quiet  face  and  the  cheerful 
voice  met  me,  but  there  were  unmistakable 
proofs  that  her  soul  was  being  weaned  from 
earth  and  fitted  for  heaven.  Even  the  flowers  I 
took  her,  which  while  in  health  she  loved  so 
passionately,  only  caused  a  smile  and  a  passing 
word. 

Mrs.  H.  says  that  her  death  was  eminently 
peaceful.  I  knew  it  would  be  so.  And  yet, 
the  struggle  with  the  King  of  terrors  is  fear- 
ful, —  flesh  does  shrink  from  it,  instinctively,  — 
blessed  be  that  grace  that  gave  dear  Lizzie  the 
victory ! 

From  MRS.  W. 

The  sad  intelligence  your  letter  brought  me 
was  entirely  unexpected,  —  and  I  know  not 
what  to  write.  My  dear  friend,  you  have  truly 


282  THE     SISTEKS. 

passed  through  deep  waters,  but  you  can  say 
still,  "  Blessed  be  the  name  of  the  Lord."  I 
wrote,  last  Wednesday,  to  Elizabeth,  and  that 
very  day,  it  'appears,  she,  or  rather,  all  that 
remained  of  her,  was  laid  in  her  last  resting- 
place. 

In  this  severe  affliction  I  deeply  sympathize, 
for  I,  too,  feel  bereaved.  I  loved  Elizabeth  very 
dearly.  I  regret  that  I  could  not  have  visited 
you  previous  to  our  coming  to  New  York,  but  I 
may  hope  to  see  her  again  in  our  Father's 
house,  "where  no  farewell  tear  is  shed."  There, 
I  have  not  a  doubt,  has  been  a  blissful  reunion 
with  those  who  went  before,  and  new  songs  of 
gratitude  have  been  raised  to  him  that  loved 
them,  and  brought  them,  at  last,  to  his  own  joy- 
ous presence. 

You  have  been  remarkably  blessed  in  your 
dear  daughters,  and  I  could  but  hope  that  skej 
your  last,  would  be  spared  to  comfort  your 
declining  years,  and  ease  you  of  some  of  life's 
burdens.  But  our  Father  took  her  to  himself 
in  her  youth,  though  not  till  she  had  done  ser- 
vice for  him.  She  adorned  her  religion  in  both 
precept  and  example,  striving  ever  to  lead  sin- 
ners to  Christ.  She  always  found  something  to 
do,  when  others  would  be  idle ;  and  she  passed 


LETTERS    OF   FRIENDS.  283 

away  calmly  and  trustingly,  as  I  should  have 
expected. 

I  want  to  see  you  very  much,  and  hope  to  do 
so  soon.  It  would  be  a  pleasure,  though  a  sad 
one,  to  hear  from  you  all  about  her  last  days, 
and  to  visit  the  sacred  spot  where  they  are  laid. 
Near  that  spot  I,  too,  laid  a  dear  one,  and,  since 
then,  another  elsewhere.  They  are  gone  from 
me,  but  are,  I  trust,  present  with  their  Saviour. 
How  blessed  to  feel  that  our  loved  ones  are 

"  not  dead,  but  gone  unto  that  school 
Where  they  no  longer  need  our  poor  protection, 
And  Christ  himself  doth  rule." 


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